• Member Since 28th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 28th, 2020

Revenant Wings


"The world is a looking-glass, and gives back to every man the reflection of his own face." - William Makepeace Thackeray, Vanity Fair. Admin of LGBT, somewhat obsessed with Crash Bandicoot.

T

A human is transported to Equestria by Princess Celestia... and he wants to get out. He's placed under the care of Princess Luna... who also wants him to get out. Now, "Nemo" has to deal with adjusting to his new surroundings and attempt to recover his lost memories of his former life in the three months he has to wait while Princess Celestia charges up a spell to send him back home. Fate, however, may have other ideas for him.

A human-in-Equestria fic.

Would you believe this got rejected by Equestria Daily could get so many likes for an HiE? Thank you!

EDIT: Over 20,000 total views!Thank you all so much! :ajsmug: :rainbowkiss: :twilightsmile: :yay: :pinkiesmile: :raritystarry:

Awesome song (not by me) that I've been listening to while writing the fic and may as well be the theme song: Constellations - Aviators

Chapters (17)
Comments ( 246 )

Alright, the fuck is with everybody naming their human characters anon or anonymous now?

Comment posted by Revenant Wings deleted Jan 21st, 2013
Comment posted by Revenant Wings deleted Jan 21st, 2013
Comment posted by Revenant Wings deleted Jan 21st, 2013

decent fic. I liked it.

followin'

I like the story so far. I read another one of your fics and it was great. I can't wait until the next chapter.:twilightsmile:

only one little mistake I notice when he first meets shining armor.

“I’m guessing you’re ‘Nemo’,” the stallion said. “My name’s Shining Armor, Captain of the Guard and wife of Princess Cadence. I heard about your meeting with her earlier.”

Shouldn't it say husband of Princess Cadence or my wife is Princess Cadence?

Ahhh...yes. Finally. Some originality in an HiE....

Nothing rustles my jimmies more than naming a character "Anon". Nemo however.....Nemo works. Not only is it an ACTUAL name, but it has a similar meaning behind it! Nemo Means No One, Anon means No Name....


I Frikking LOVE IT.

2035165
Thank you for catching that. Piece has been edited. :twilightsmile:

2035190
It actually was going to be "Anonymous" with the reason being he had no identity and it was the name for someone with no identity on forums, but the reference to The Odyssey was better and took out the whole "Anon"-thing, so I switched it without much hesitation.

Wow. Never knew Luna could be such a bitch. That almost makes me hate her.........almost.

I wonder if I should continue reading this. I don't like transformations, and you already said that it will happen.

Comment posted by Revenant Wings deleted Jan 28th, 2013

Poor guy... :pinkiesad2:

2044499
I am honored to accept the prestigious awards of feels. :twilightsheepish: Glad you're enjoying it. :D

On the plus side: Shining Armor is a cool dude.

There are a lot of african children she could be saving, or does the spell only work on white people?

2052123
I'm currently debating whether it costs a lot of energy to teleport back, thus Equestria in United States (most of the names are similar, like Manehattan and Fillydelphia) would simply be a hop between dimensions and Africa would be the jump between dimensions and a flight over water if dimension-hopping from Africa itself meant going into a hostile kingdom outside of Equestria's borders. Given to what happened like someone like Nemo (he was passed out for a few hours) I don't know if too many others would survive the crossing.

I would say that there would be a variety of people Celestia has teleported over from multiple nationalities, but from here on out, I won't have much time to go into that. Now that I've kind of established Nemo being introduced, I'll be proceeding forward for the most part and won't be going too much into it.

Guy sure has his priorities set does't he?

2077718
Surprise! A guy that's pulled into Equestria and either isn't a brony or doesn't immediately become one! :rainbowderp:

Nah, not really. He's just kind of weirded out by the whole thing and can't remember what happened back home, especially since the crossing kind of messed him up a little. He's just figuring he's a total stranger and he knows he isn't anywhere near home, which is where he wants to be.

Interesting, a new spin on the HiE sub genre is something to be applauded. More than that however I find myself being drawn into the story, I wish to know more of these characters and what happens to them. The protagonist is neither a brony or an anti-brony (thus far) and acts in a sane manner as opposed to being outright offensive, fanboyish or in other very unnatural ways for a person to act when finding themselves in such a situation. I especially like how he does wish to go home but not because of some contrived dislike of Equestria as with so many other fics, but because it is not his home and he wishes to return to his life despite it almost certainly being worse for him than staying. One thing I noticed was just how often the topic of conversion comes up, and how eager (blatantly or subtly) the ponies are for the main character to go through with such a thing. It does give the impression that the ponies have a 'thing' for assimilation, (perhaps the idea that humans are creatures than need salvation via conversion has taken root due to Celestias' actions?). The way Spitefire was described made it seem like she was almost hungry to convert the main character. Perhaps this could be addressed in a later chapter, perhaps through Luna as a way of explaining her hostility?

Either way, I await the next installment with anticipation.
BlackWinter

2082243

Firstly, thank you for the comment and the contents of it; It seems I've been doing my job well. :yay:

On to a few other issues. To start small, Luna's hostilities will be explained next chapter, so I won't describe too much of that.

Next: I have no intention of making Nemo a brony anywhere within his lost memories or currently. He's not against the idea of talking ponies, just uncomfortable. But he isn't a brony, isn't aware that the show exists, and doesn't actively become one.

As for the others trying to get him to stay, they only hear about the other world - our dimension - from Celestia, who in turn keeps things quite hidden. For the most part, the most general society sees of humans is another pony being added into the mix, which isn't that odd, so when a human comes around it's quite a big ordeal, hence Spitfire's (admittedly rather thorough) examination as well as the fact that she's part military and has some connection to government. Other times there are the personal confessions like Thomas Scott back in Chapter 3, where he remembers his poor conditions and was thankful for the chance to stay even if it meant the transformation and assimilation. The other thing is they're mostly used to someone arriving and being turned straight into a pony, so Nemo's decisions are a little strange, coupled with the fact that he can only slowly remember what happened before makes him stand out in particular; without spoiling too much, Nemo's assumption of why Celestia isn't telling him anything in Chapter 4 is pretty close.

As for why the topic of conversation comes up so much: especially with the royalty, they're assigned to watch Nemo and make sure he's comfortable, which he's not. Hence, Shining Armor takes advantage of the fact that he can connect with Nemo on whatever level possible to act as something of a stabilizer for him so he doesn't break down like at the end of Chapter 2 or worse. Also, he seemed like a really cool guy in all his episodes and I wanted a character like that to interact with Nemo.

2082307

Well that is interesting, Celestia is a most benevolent ruler, and in this story the type to use her considerable power to save those whom she has no responsibility for from horrid fates for no other reason than their wellbeing. I have suspected from the beginning that Celestia was the one to remove the protagonists' memories (though this is mere speculation on my part), however if Nemo would normally wish to return home despite conditions so awful that Alicorn would take him from them then things become complicated.
On a side note, I would guess that Lunas' hostility comes from a previous experience with a human, most likely the one mentioned to be have been imprisoned. Of course there is always the odd possibility that Nemo was the previous guest and due to mistakes, this is Celestias' second try with the same person.
Sorry for going a theory tangent, I just like trying to figure out things ahead of time. Back to actuallyualy storybelievelive that Shining Armours' inclusion was a good move, usually there would be some contrived reason to use one of the main six or produce a background OC with no other function than a plot device. This actually provides development characterization to care about, a key point I would like to expand on is the basis of the relationship with Nemo.
Now at first I was slightly sceptical that merely having a younger sister would be enough to cause Armour to be so friendly, but if this sort of thing is a regoccurrencerance with Celestia, and he has a close friend from a previous case with the possibility of off screencreen then it adds a new layer to their relationship. Friendliness is justified as he has dealt with this before, given the people whom Celstia chooses are probably quite emotionally fragile (especially since they are most likely choosing whether or not to give up everything from their life to their face), though I would not be surprised if he has guards around Nemo in case of another 'incident' like Mr Jailbird as mentioned by Luna. The question now is, how much of his presented personality is his duty and attempts to sooth Nemo and how much is actual friendship?
Yes, quite interesting indeed.

Anyhow now requried block of text is completed and my dinner is getting cold, I bid a you a good day and good writing.
BlackWinter

Little Celly wanted to play savior but she never expected that some wouldn't want to be saved.

Didn't Odysseus name himself Nohbdy?

2088055
I believe the ancient Greek version was "Nemo." I was reminded of the name when I was reading about a song by the band Nightwish that also used that name and scene as inspiration.

Even with the 'lack of inspiration' it's still a nice story.
So keep on posting those chapters and i will keep loving you for it.

Comment posted by Revenant Wings deleted Feb 7th, 2013

2089957
Thank you so much. :rainbowkiss:
I will be posting more after my vacation; updates may not be as frequent as I'll be starting spring semester, but I'll do so as often as I can.

2088958
nightwish is a decent band. I like their songs"Crownless", and "I wish I had an angel". However, I have always been more of a Sonata Arctica or Hammerfall type of person.

Aparently my favoriting doesn't work on this story and doesn't notify me when this updates.

2094238
I can see your favorite in the stats lists, but I'm not sure what else I can do.

Ah, after quite some time I managed to find a period to read this. Now, as you stated you were quite tired and it does show in the way the chapter was written, rather than showing the characters emotions and reactions they were stated, particulary during the revelation about Nemos' memories. Now, given that Celestia erased his memories, almost certainly against his will, the question now arises on just how far she will go to ensure that he is saved from whatever fate he has in store on earth? The memory erasure indicates that she already knew that he would not be receptive to ponification, so either she has observed him in his home and found him to be so severe a case that she would pass over someone more willing and modify his memories to ensure his co-operation or it is the fact that she has attempted save him before and when that attempt failed brought about the current scenario. Regardless simply removing his memories has proven to be ineffective, and thus pointless to attempt again, therefore we now have a crossroads for the Alicorn of the sun. There are three options, the first is to attempt to convince Nemo that he should remain on Equestria despite her manipulations and lack of memory.
The second is to allow Nemo to regain his memory and hope for the best with persuasion.
The final option is the most morally dubious and the most drastic:
Ponify Nemo by force and erase his memories completely. Even with his current memories he would resist and become resentful to the point where he may be considered a danger to other ponies. If she erased his memories to the point as per the beginning of the story then Nemo may work out what happened (even if he was given a cover story involving irreversible ponification as a result of Celestia saving him from certain death on Earth) and the same result would occur. The only way to ensure Nemo becomes a pony and is happy to be one is to erase all traces of his human life and give him an Equestrian cover story, perhaps a case of permanent amnesia as a result of an accident.
Personally I feel that there is no way that Celestia would go so far as the third option, but I would not have expected her to erase someones' memories. Most likely I feel is that Luna will be the force to convince Nemo to stay, the question is whether of not his memories, in their Celestia-induced absence fuelling resentment, will allow her to make any progress on that front. Or if she does, would their restoration ensure her failure?

Have a nice day.
BlackWinter

2125211
The current plan is a mix of options one and two.

I'm confused, what happened.

2574751 well for me at least, it was the whole "memory rage induced crying " it happened so fast, that i just sort of had a wtf moment.

2574761 i don't think i could read while on LSD:applejackconfused:

Just hope that you don't take as long for the next chapter:)

Ah, one of my favorite stories is back. :)

Btw, didn't this have romance tag before?

2577708

I was going to include a secondary romance plot line, but I decided the outcome would be better if I didn't. If I do end up deciding on going that route again, the tag will be re-included.

Although, could I include 'bromance' if there's something between Nemo and Shining Armor? :rainbowwild:

Took awhile, but my interest has been grabbed almost as if by a rusty steel trap. Moar sir, Moar!

2594063

There will be more; II.1 will be coming out shortly and continuing from this same fic so long as school does not delay me, though I can usually keep things like this up.

Meh still would have liked if he somehow wanted to stay only because of Luna in the end.
Both been betrayed by Celestia. And their silly games could be a motivator.

2594225

It's not over; I'm only at about the halfway point for this fic so far.

This is an awesome story, not like a lot of the other HiE fics I have read. Keep up the great work!

Login or register to comment