Twilight Sparkle was already wide awake, when the crack of dawn arrived . Last night, she had learned so many things that her brain was still processing it. She didn’t know where to even organize them in her mental library or if she even wanted this knowledge at all. Twilight once heard that it was better to not know everything about somepony; now she knew what that had meant.
Before last night, Princess Celestia was a paragon in her eyes—almost godlike if she would even admit. She worshiped everything there as about her mentor from her grace and beauty to her wisdom and kindness. Learning of her dark past had shattered that pedestal and brought her fantasy down to earth. Nearly every historian said that Princess Celestia was a better leader than any of the other corrupted, lying, and manipulative politicians in the past, but she was just like the rest of them. She was no goddess or paraon; she was just a pony.
A pony responsible for the slaughter of an entire group, even if they were a dire threat to Equestria.
And Twilight Sparkle had no idea what to do with this knowledge. Or what to do with her relationship with Princess Celestia. She didn’t want to think that the sixteen years they had shared together in friendship, learning, and love was all over because of what was shared last night. Yet, deep down, she felt utter disgust and anger over what Celestia had done to the Nightmare Cult.
“Good morning, Twilight,” yawned Spike as he sat up in his bed, a soft smile spread across his face. “Ah, I missed this old bed. It sure beats sleeping on a bed of books.”
Twilight didn’t even acknowledge Spike, she just sat up and took a comb to her mane. Spike furrowed his brow at the silence as he walked over and looked at her with concern. “Are you okay, Twilight?”
“Just... still coming to terms with what happened last night,” answered Twilight as she put the comb down.
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” said Spike, rubbing the back of his head. “I mean, I’m still trying to resist the urge to walk on all fours and shake my tail to show my mood.”
A knock on the door forced their heads to turn before one of the crystal pony maids entered the room. “Your Highness? Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor wish to invite you to breakfast in the dining room.”
“Oh, yes,” said Twilight with a small smile. “I’ll be right over.”
The two were about to follow the maid when Spike stopped and rushed over to her dresser. “Hold on.” He grabbed her crown and showed it to Twilight. “You forgot this.”
The moment Twilight saw the crown she was once again plagued with doubts. This time it was not if she would be a good princess or not, but if she could escape the same trap that seemed to trap all rulers. Every ruler, politician, leader, and significant noble had done something most would consider wrong or immoral. Secret and illegal orders, assassinations, spying on their people or their allies, bribes, negotiating deals with proven criminals, and more.
She thought Princess Celestia was different: that she escaped falling into the same behavior as the rest. Yet the scene still played vividly in her mind:
Twilight shook her head. “I don’t understand... you’re suppose to be merciful! Kind! The peaceful ruler who has kept us out of war for nearly a thousand years! How could you do something so horrible?!”
“Twilight, what makes you think that is not the first time I’ve done that?” asked Celestia. Twilight stepped back in shock as Celestia got up and sighed. “Do you really think I kept peace up for a thousand years with diplomacy alone? I’ve had ordered assassinations, approved of night raids, sent spies to every corner of our nation and beyond, and blackmailed others to keep them quiet. All of this was done in the shadows and without any record. I’ve been almost assassinated thirty-seven times in my life, half of them from my own subjects. Luna alone has been targeted eighteen times since she returned, but she only knows of six. I’ve manipulated many events in our history to keep us safe and preserve us from dangers both inside and outside of our country. Half of what you find in history books is all but twisted versions of the truth.” She looked up and stared straight into Twilight’s eyes. “You alone have been targeted five times since you came to my castle as my student. Twice since you became a princess. I’ve stopped them all by striking first and without mercy.”
Falling onto her haunches, Twilight slowly turned pale. Slowly, Celestia levitated her crown that had fallen after the attack and looked at it with such hatred she wished she could melt the thing and throw it into a ditch to be forgotten forever. “Being a princess... being a ruler of a nation means dirtying your hooves. It’s part of the political life, Twilight. Always has been. I have so much blood on my hooves that I know one day I’ll pay for it all. This life or the next. But if I can keep my precious ponies safe then I will never hesitate.”
If what Celestia said was true? Did that mean she would one day bloody her hooves? Twilight never believed in killing. Even during the changeling invasion she sought to stun, not kill. But what if I have no choice? What if I have to order somepony’s death because hundreds will die if I don’t?
Was there really no escaping the dirty world of politics once you entered it? Was idealism just a lie?
“Twilight?” asked Spike, getting her attention again.
“Just leave it, Spike. I don’t think we need it for breakfast,” said Twilight with a fake smile before she turned and left the room.
Spike shrugged his shoulders before placing it back on the dresser and followed right behind.
***
Twilight knew something was wrong when she saw that Princess Celestia was not at the table with the others. Luna stated that her sister was just suffering from a migraine, and thus wished not to be disturbed. Despite the smiles and tales of her adventure in the human world where she saw strange alternate versions of her friends, Twilight’s focus kept returning to the seat where Princess Celestia was supposed to be. A part of her couldn’t help but feel guilty for leaving her mentor like that in such an emotional state.
“Hey, Twilight?” asked Applejack. “Is everythin’ okay?”
“Y-yeah, why?” she lied, which was the worst thing she could do in front of her honest friend. Applejack was like a living lie detector and wasn’t afraid to know the truth, no matter how harsh it was.
“Ya just seem tense is all,” said Applejack, raising an eyebrow. “Anythin’ ya want to tell us?”
Everypony stared at Twilight, who could feel sweat dripping down her neck. What am I supposed to say? That Sunset Shimmer is Princess Celestia’s daughter? That she murdered an entire group of ponies from adults to children to an avenge an attack? That Applejack’s parents were part of these cultists and were killed by Celestia’s soldiers?
“I’m afraid that Twilight Sparkle is a bit stressed due to some events that happened last night,” said Princess Luna, shocking Twilight.
Does... does she know!?
“It is merely preparing to let the other nations know of our newest alicorn in our kingdom,” said Luna with a calm smile. “Twilight Sparkle is just nervous and yet also excited upon the prospect of visiting other nations and their leaders. Right, Twilight?”
“Um, yes! That’s it!” said Twilight with a fake smile.
Applejack seemed to accept this as she smiled and placed a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “Aw, shucks, Twilight. Ya don’t need to worry about impressin’ some dragon or griffin king. Ya got us here in Equestria who love ya and that’s all that matters.”
Twilight nodded and decided to go back to her breakfast, but a keen and knowing eye from Luna’s gaze made it clear they were gonna have to talk afterwards.
***
After breakfast, her friends went out to explore the Crystal Empire, each with a desire to see how the land was doing since their last visit. Twilight excused herself by saying she wished Princess Luna to help her with a small stargazing project she had going. This allowed the two of them to speak privately in her room.
After putting up the warding spells (something Twilight promised she had to learn herself one day), Princess Luna turned to Twilight with a solemn yet serious look. “I take it my sister told you the truth about her daughter yesterday.”
“Wait, you know about Sunset?” asked Twilight with wide eyes. “But Princess Celestia said that she didn’t tell you.”
“She did not tell me in person, but she told me in her dreams,” said Princess Luna as she sighed and gazed on a photo that Twilight had brought with her. It showed a filly Twilight reading a book alongside her mentor. “My sister has always hidden the truth from those she loves. Even from me. As such, I had to enter into my sister’s dreams many times to learn what truly happened over the last one thousand years.” Closing her eyes, a single tear dripped down from Luna’s eye. “I am ashamed to think that my actions helped caused such grief and guilt in my sister’s life.”
“Princess Luna... does this mean you also know about the... the cult?” asked Twilight Sparkle.
“I do,” said Princess Luna, growling. “My only regret is that I was not there to end their lives myself for what they did to my sister and niece.”
“But... but she killed them all! Mares! Stallions! Fillies and colts?!” shouted Twilight in tears. “Does that mean anything to either of you?!”
“The loss of life is regrettable, Twilight Sparkle,” said Princess Luna as she turned around. “But Celestia’s actions are one a mother would predictably carry out.”
Twilight didn’t say anything. She just sat down in shock that the two most wisest ponies she knows, and possibly ever existed, agreed with the total slaughter of the group. “Even if they were criminals, they deserved to still have a chance to repent. Haven’t we done that with Discord?”
“Yes, but Discord never kills,” said Luna, shaking his head. “He may be insane, immature, and a tyrant in many ways, but he is not a killer. He hates the idea of death. To him it's so natural and orderly and unfun. If he didn’t have that small bit of morality in him, as twisted and perverse the reasoning behind it is, I fear that my sister and I would have been killed long ago.”
She then turned to Twilight Sparkle with a harsh look on her face. “Do you know the crimes of that cult? What you saw was a small fraction of their madness. I have seen, in my sister’s dreams, how much blood they have spilt. If it was the other way around I would have wiped them out years ago instead of just recently. Some groups, some ponies, and some creatures are beyond saving, Twilight. Such evil must be destroyed without mercy. It may seem cruel, it may seem wrong, but there are evils out there, be it mortal or immortal, that are better off dead than alive.”
“I...” Twilight lowered her head and closed her eyes. “I don’t know if I can ever do that.”
“Let me put it this way,” said Princess Luna as he lifted Twilight’s hoof. “If a pony decided to murder your friends and take captive your assistant, Spike. Would you do everything in your power to save him?”
“Of course!” shouted Twilight with no hesitation.
“And now you have him at your mercy. What would you do to the pony who killed Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and nearly killed young Spike?”
Twilight closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. Deep down, she knew what she would do in that situation. “I… I don’t… I mean...”
“That was going through my sister when Sunset Shimmer was in a state of life and death after that attack by the Nightmare Cult,” said Princess Luna as she wrapped her hooves around a trembling Twilight. “I’m not saying that what my sister did was right. But she was acting out of her own emotions, no different from any other pony. We are all the same inside one way or another. And deep down my sister regrets what she did. She regrets so many things, Twilight.” She gazed into her eyes with a pleading stare. “Please don’t end your friendship with her. She doesn’t need another regret to haunt her.”
Princess Luna slowly made her way to the door, but before she could open it, Twilight asked, “Princess Luna! What... what do I tell Applejack about her parents?”
“...Don’t,” muttered Princess Luna. “Let the Apples remember them as they believe them to be, not for what they were. Can you really go up and tell that family, who adored and loved them so much, that they were criminals and traitors that had to be killed?”
“No,” whispered Twilight. “I cannot.”
“Then carry this secret to your grave, Twilight Sparkle,” answered Luna. “Sometimes it is better for the truth to remain hidden for peace to endure.”
And with that, she left.