Inspired by the anime movie 'Wolf Children' and the MLP Fic 'Raising a Human in Equestria'
It's was a normal morning for Fluttershy, doing her usual routine and caring for the animals of Ponyville. She thought it would be a normal day for her.
Fate thought otherwise.
Follow this cute journey as Fluttershy cares for a human that can transform into a wolf by its free will. Of course this story isn't going to be all sunshine and rainbows for the two, for Fluttershy has to keep this human a secret from all of Ponyville (Minus her Friends) and the two rulers of Equestria.
Featured on November 1st, 2014! Thanks everypony! I'll do my best in keeping this fic interesting!
Chapters (17)
Too Cute
Very nice, Pix. I hope to see more soon.
Oh sounds good so far! Actually it reminds me a lot of my story 'My Little Tony'.
Say sence we both doing similar ideas wanna pm each other? We could get good story ideas :)
But wouldn't that put fluttershy at around 12 years?
Me, not be.
Over all, story has potential but your writing needs work. It's like one of the cardinal sin of writing to do something like this
it is interessting for me, i am not understand yet why he has to be a secret, but maybe they know about Humans and they did something bad again, i don´t know.
I read this later to see where this is going.
you're. your shows possession
its. it's is short for it is
they're. there is used for locations
I'll be honest, I think this story has potential, but it needs a lot of work. Your wording is awkward at times, and sometimes the style even shifts. Also, Fluttershy has a moment of extreme OOC;
Remember, she's not very confident in herself. Also, she sounds mechanical in a lot of her speech. For example;
Try reading the lines aloud to see how they sound.
I'd recommend getting an experienced prereader, and not the kind that just wants to read it early and shower you with praise. The best prereaders are the ones that aren't afraid to criticize your work.
I'll be following, hoping to see this reach its potential.
5150641 Assuming she's 18 when the show started. Their ages are never mentioned.
hey, I just watched that movie two days ago
big question...is it a boy or a girl? personally i hope its a girl.
well it depen on what is still coming, but right now it is a good start. I hope you don´t try let things happen to fast, but i just wait.
I know how that Anime maybe went, but i am not sure why i read that Fluttershy would have to hide that child. Well maybe you have a not so friendly Equestria in your story.
I had actually been trying to find a site to watch Wolf Child, so thanks for the link. As for the story...
As Fluttershy would say, it's... nice.
There's a lot of spots that are strangely/incorrectly worded, changes from past tense to present tense within the same sentence, things of that nature.
Then of course there's the glaring continuity error at the end of the chapter, in that the Mane 6 weren't friends with each other until after becoming the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony. They knew each other, yes, but they weren't really friends. (Remember how AJ and Rarity were during the sleepover? And that was AFTER meeting Twi.) I could see maybe Dashie coming to check on Fluttershy, or Pinkie bringing a party invitation or something, but there's no way all of them would have shown up randomly.
All in all, this story still has potential, but it needs some pretty heavy revision.
Dat ending...
No... Bad author... That is not the proper use of parenthesis!
Instead of that, all you need to say is -
Because the 'Minus Twilight' bit is implied from the very start, and the reader is already aware that there is no Twilight. Also, the Mane 6 hasn't formed yet, so that doesn't exist as a proper description of the four ponies.
Still, it's an interesting story.
i've been waiting so long for someone to do a wolf children crossover thank you for making this story
giant.gfycat.com/SizzlingAnguishedGuppy.gif
I am curious to see where this story goes. I had recently watched 'Wolf Children' and I instantly fell in love with it. I want to see who this story will turn out over the long haul despite any problems I might have with it. Nothing to major, just a bunch of why's and how's that's might not even be important to the story as a whole. But I am curious, so I will favorite this story and prepare to take a feels trip.
When I saw the title, I thought it was a crossover with the Super Nintendo game 'Wolf Child'. If you don't know what it is, look it up. It's an awesome game.
I just watch the movie and fell in love with it looking forward to more of this story.
Pre-Reading: If this is Half as Feelsy as the movie then you are going are actually gonna get me to cry... (That's Hard!)
Post Reading:
Yep that'll do it...
You get the whole shebang for this...
Do you want suggestions for a a name or something?
(not trying to be rude)
5177640 Nah! I got one just for her.
5177814
Tell me.
So the wolf child is a she? Hmmm... wonder if she will follow Ame's path (become a wolf and wonder the wild) or Yuki's (stay human and try to adept to being an alien to the ponies)
5177856 i hope she follow Yuki's path (stay human and try to adept to being an alien to the ponies)
5177852 Sorry, but that's for me to know and for you to wait to know yourself.
Name the kid Tarzan. (It's gender-neutral enough)
Don't quote me on this, but I don't think Applejack would be Fluttershy's friend six years before Twilight's arrival. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy knew each other from flight camp, Fluttershy and Rarity frequent the spa, and Pinkie Pie is everypony's best friend, but how did any of them meet Applejack?
Oh. But still, why Applejack? It's not a hate move on her, I'm just wondering if Applejack was even friends with Fluttershy at this point. Sure, she would have had to see her in the market, but by that logic, Applejack would be friends with almost as many ponies as Pinkie Pie.
5177871
5177856
Why not both?
5177926 i don't know
5177920 Well, One thing's for sure. They aren't actual friends, but I think that since Fluttershy is friends with Rainbow Dash, and Rainbow Dash is Friends with Applejack, maybe somewhere along the lines, Rainbow got the two together to make a new friendship bond.
At least that's what I think.
5177899 but, but , but why
5177945 Cause I said so! Now let me get typing!
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5177965 NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I will prevent you from typing FOREVER!!!!!!!!
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5177970 You know I can just ignore your comments right?
5177986 NO! My plans have been Thwarted! Darn!
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5178080 derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/8/12/398214__safe_solo_animated_sweetie+belle_youtube_laughing_panty+and+stocking+with+garterbelt_evil+laugh_artist-colon-bluefeathercat.gif
I thought I recognized the format. Hello again, Pixelberry!
5178135 do I know you from somewhere?
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its
You're
5178287 yes?
5178163 No, but I've read several of your stories. I tend to be a little disappointed by the final product. I'll tell you what I think when I finish this story in a couple days. I've got a queue setup, so I probably won't get to it today.
5178287 No? No what?
5178583 Okay then!
Why were the rest of the mane 6 doing inside Fluttershy's house in the first place? They couldn't just be there at random for no reason whatsoever.
we have to wait till the next chapter to find out the name
you are going to die, and tentacles will be involve in it.
i like so far, keep up the good work, or the tentacles are going to visit you.
FfffffffffffffffuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!!! Freaking cliffhangers! You're like my brother! I hate you but I love you at the same time! Patient man doesn't want to be patient!!!
Love the chapter though. I have a weakness for cuteness. Can't wait till the next chapter comes out. I wonder how Fluttershy will take (insert her name here) out to play. I know she lives away from everyone else but that doesn't mean that someone might wander by or come over. Speaking of which what's her plan for when someone who doesn't know about (insert her name here) comes over? Does she make (insert her name here) hide in her room, stay out in the open as a wolf or maybe even hides her in a closet? That was kinda mean but what does she do?!
This reminds me that i really need to finish writing the next chapter of raising a human.
Well interesting read, shall follow.
5177920 perhaps they met though Rainbow? Or maybe Pinkie... Or possibly both?