A couple weeks after her first Nightmare Night in Ponyville, Twilight gets lost in the Everfree Forest all by herself, hoping to find a way back to town. As Twilight searches, she comes across a strange flower that sprays out some strange pink pollen. She inhales it, and gets a pain in her stomach. The pollen made her pregnant with a colt that looks like her male counterpart from another dimension (Dusk Shine from On a Cross and Arrow by Conner Cogwork).
Meanwhile, a kid who has been living with his abusive aunt and cousin make his life miserable when his parents are working in Europe. That young boy keeps getting treated like a slave, and barely gets any food. They even force him to clean up the house that they keep messing up, no matter if he was healthy or sick. Then one day, he gets really sick the day his parents come home, unexpectedly to the abusive aunt and cousin. He had a sickness that couldn't be cured. At least he saw his parents one last time before he passed. He then wakes up as the colt that Twilight Sparkle had given birth to.
huh. this is certainly an interesting concept.
*Casually adds to tracking*
Nice and interesting. I love a good parent story!
Not bad for this chapter. But I do feel sorry for Henry. I'm hope that aunt of his will get what coming to her.
Still wonders how the aunt got the medical records destroyed not to mention all the other records that would exist. What between school records, doctors records both digital and physical. We also can't forget power of attorney so the aunt would have authority if anything happened
I need something bad to happen to Henry's aunt and cousin. Also, the relationship of Henry's family reminded me of Harry Potter, Aunt Petunia, and Dudley XD
Good beginning and hope they go to prison for life for kid death at the aunt and uncle
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No uncle. But there is a cousin.
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Sorry forget and thought is uncle and can't wait to see the next chapter
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sorry I forgot
Interesting story, I am not sure if it was worth linking this story with someone else's own story especially sense the reference has little relevant you could just has come up with another reason why he was named Dusk Shine like other stories have done, like Saying Dusk Shine is the male version of dusk shine or a tradition or made it up on the spot,; take your pick. But, I don't think it will be necessary to come back to it unless this other world will be important later in the story, so we will see if that is the case later in the story.
As for the writing itself while still a bit stilted at the moment was certainly steadily improving especially toward the end of the chapter. What is really missing in the story is the is the narrator explaining what Twilight was feeling in the moment and what are here relation with other characters and what they look like instead of assuming the reader already know who they are, even if obviously everyone does, it's just good form to do if only to better make an image in our heads, but the story will definitely benefit better with a little more context.
I think the idea of the Poison joke like plan reincarnation is interesting premise to be born and I could imagine that it will be a big shock for Twilight to give birth to a six year old all of the sudden, and I can't wait to see who she will explain it to everyone what happen. I am sure Nightlight and Shining armor would like the head of the one how 'abandoned' Twilight and her foal like that. I wonder if Twilight's priorities will drastically change from this point like wanting to find a husband or wife to help raise him, or will she go back to Canterlot with her parents not sure if the rest of the main six can really help her with that. I wonder if Dusk will start to age quickly still?
Looking forward to see what comes next.
Also if you are looking to commission another cover art I am open, you can go see my YouTube and here is my DeviantArt. You can PM if you want to talk about it further.
I wish you good luck on your story.
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It would be a cruel joke to revive to die shortly after.
I was about to write that she could not move for a while, then I remembered that she is a pony and not a human, so she could easily walk in the morning.
Now, suppose the girls meet in, the library, maybe? Well, they'll ask Spike where Twilight is and he'll say he hasn't seen her since she left at night. Then, while they wonder what could have happened to him, Zecora arrives, a few moments later five voices are heard throughout the town shouting "SHE WHAT!"
Nice concept. Yes...
Yikes! Talk about a quick pregnancy!
I would given another chance
Ok, just how Zecora knows everything about that plant?
, ( yeah i know, she could have studied about it in the past but that's too much information so suddenly) it feels too forced i think is better if those facts stay anonymous for now(we are at the beginning of the story of course) you know, like "saving some bullets" for later, and for the rest is ok, the age progression for Dusk is to justify the fact that he can interact with others characters more early in the story and i suppose that this is before of Twilight's ascension, it could have been interesting to see her dealing with a baby around in those times and how Dusk will try to adjust himself in that young and new body but that's ok i guess 
I will follow the story
Nice story and a cool concept. It could use better pacing. I look forward to more.
Even if the beginning feels a bit rushed to me, the idea behind this story is interresting. Can't wait to see Celestia's reaction, once she hears about this.
Wait, what’s this a crossover with?
Okay I have one issue with this. Just one.
How would the Aunt have been able to destroy the Hospital's copy of the records. She may have destroyed her copies, but the hospital should have had theirs alphabetized and arranged by date. A better explanation would be the old "if she brought Henry to the hospital sooner, they could have treated him, but since she simply didn't, there's nothing they can do" routine. It may be cliché, but for it is for good reason, it still happens far too often.
Ah, the abusive caretaker or guardian and bleeding heart cliches. It takes a lot of skill to nail these properly. I have a feeling you will do a good job though.
That whole rushed pregnancy/birth scenario reminds me of an episode of Fringe where a woman gets impregnated accidentally by some man and then she gives birth like an hour later (she dies of childbirth) and the baby just keeps aging until it dies of old age...
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Don't worry. Twilight or the young colt won't die that quickly.
Confused, obviously and probably fascinated at how he looks like a male version of Twilight. Though, I think his reaction upon waking up looks a bit too fast
Great chapter and surprise or shocking to twilight parent and brother
If that were my kid, I don't care if it was my own mother, I'd find her, beat the shit out of her regardless of where we were at, then choke her to death.
My family would, there's a reason me and my parents and siblings refuse to talk to them
I can't imagine the amount of food Twilight and Henry ate. Not including magic you have a pregnancy of period of approximately 11months happening in hours and a foal aging six years within moments the amount of energy and stress on the body is crazy
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life finds a way. poor alt twilight will we see what happens with him?
Good Chapter . Loving it so far only thing I think could've been added was him or talking to the princesses in this scene since he just seemed to sit there. But other than that, I look forward to the next part
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Agreed, but not the choking part
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Correct. The word he was looking for is "strangle." You would strangle her to death.
Only thing I halve with this fic is that it's a little too much tell and not enough show to balance it out... also, the aunt destroying medical files in less then a year? Not likely especially since hospitals keep backups encrypted... not hating on this fic, I think it's a sweet fic for Mama Twilight and her new son, but you will benefit with an editor
The writing is a bit less stiff in this chapter and had a lot of interesting bits. Good job keep practicing.
As for Twilight's parent I think they would lavish Dusk with attention, being happen they they are already grand parents, even if it sounds like he is a clone of hers. I would guess they would fuss over her and either ask her to come back to Canterlot or they are wanting to move to Ponyville to be closer to Dusk and Twilight, probably going to try to find suitors for her.
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Yes, thank you that had been bugging me for a while, I couldn't think of that word for some reason
Well to be fair, Twilight just produced asexually, meaning her DNA was the only genes he got, so he's also her clone!
So they just change his name without consent...
Great another story doing that, just abandoning, taking away whatever mc has left of humanity
Why don't you also erase his memories while you are it and maybe then brainwash him into thinking like a pony to finish it off?
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then where did the Y-chromosome come from? Twilight's a mare.
Edit: oh wait, magic. that explains it.
I'm looking forward to more! I hope Twilight embraces being a mom instead of just a caregiver, and that Dusk will be loved and happy. I'd like for him to have a good time with his uncle Shining Armor and get spoiled and smothered with love by his new grandparents, Night Light and Velvet
I think Spike should be more of a brother-figure to Dusk since they're closer in age, and Spike could show Dusk his comic books
Oh, and let's not forget the CMCs!
NIce work! Keep it up!
Poor Diamond unless she can change history Twilight and the others will be remembered for a long time just for saving Luna
Why is this story more enjoyable then your other human as foal stories You made ahhhhhhh
This is wonderful! I'm still looking forward to Dusk meeting his Uncle Shining Armor and his grandfolks Night Light and Velvet
I can only imagine what Twilight's family reaction is to little Dusk. Shock, stupid fi and confused all pored into a stew of WTF.
cute but I wished there hadn't been so much of a time skip would have liked to see Dusk and Twilight properly bond together ans how he learns to adapt to be like a pony or at least see it more as his POV. the writing is getting better.
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Wolverine and X-23?
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x-23 isn't a clone, she was genetically modified embryo, in other words, an existing child who was changed to be clone-like.