• Member Since 2nd Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 21st, 2023


Demons run when a Good man goes to war.


Why do people talk about the The Trousers of Time when the daft bugger never actually wears them? No-one wears them, you simply fall continually into the waistband, not knowing from which leg you'll come out of.

In one universe, Rincewind, the Discworld's worst Wizard, chose not to speak the words of the Spell in his mind and found himself falling down one leg, which would lead to him going on many adventures quite against his will.

What would've happened if he'd fallen down the other leg?

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 49 )

Ah-hahah, ah-hahaha! I've been waiting for something like this for ages.

Waited till I'd read in a bit... you've nailed Pterry's style wonderfully. Love it.

Please sir, could I have some more?



In other words, you nailed a certain author's voice hard. On the face.

I hope you can write fast, because I need to know how this unfolds. Oh, this is going to be so much fun!


Interesting. You know, strangely enough the other day I actually thought that there might be some potential in Rincewind in Equestria crossover and look, here one is! (My version would have used an still a human older Rincewind who has had time to develop his neurosis and love of potatos; the plot would be absolutely nothing bad happens, which would freak out the older Rincewind. He would then manage to bring trouble on himself though his own actions trying to avoid trouble - somehow - never worked any specifics).

I don't have a lot of comments yet, other than the prose flows quite well and Rincewind seems in character so far. I'll probably be tracking this to see where it goes.

I also considered an older rincewind, but then he wouldn't have The Spell, and that makes all the difference.

Comments: Firstly, I largely skipped over the first section. I kind of already know who Twilight Sparkle is, there's no need to reintroduce her to me, especially using a scene from the show. Ultimately, I've seen the show.

>Rincewind cursed, the Wizard turned Pony balancing awkwardly on top of a stepladder, a stack of books resting awkwardly on one hoof while he placed another tenderly into its space on the shelf.

Awkward repetition of the world "awkwardly" here. You can either get rid of it, or, as this is Pratchett, go all out and make a thing of it.

Rincewind cursed, the Wizard turned Pony balancing awkwardly on top of a stepladder, a stack of books resting awkwardly on one hoof while he placed another awkwardly into its space on the shelf.
"Rincey! Are you okay up there?"
Rincewind thought for a moment, "It's a bit awkward."

>“Ah yes,” Rincewind muttered, flinching instinctively at the mention of the word ‘Unicorn’, as even after a year he wasn’t at ease with the concept of horned magical equines,

Really? If there's one thing I'd expect a wizard from Discworld to be good at, it's accepting the true reality as presented to them. This is unless he associates unicorns with imminent unpleasantness.

>Normally, Rincewind would’ve been wary of precisely what purpose the old mare wanted to fatten him up for, but such concerns were soon laid to rest by the fact that ponies were herbivores, and therefore not exactly inclined to indulge in cannibalism.

Perfect Rincewind logic.

>Needless to say, the Dragons of Equestria were not so awkwardly put together, and according to scriptures he’d found in the library

Are you sure the word "scriptures" means what you think it means?

Finally, if I were you, I'd number the footnotes [1] and have them immediately follow the paragraph they pertain to otherwise they require a lot of scrolling to read.

[1] like this.

This is soo good. :rainbowkiss:
Especially for a first story. You really got his style down completely. :twilightsmile:

Really enjoyable read - please write more soon? :fluttershysad:

I agree with some of the points raised here.

Grammar aside, the annotations are too far down to even care to read them, although they are half of what is good in a P-esque story.

I loved the introduciton you made, and given the alternative universe tags, you could have lead the beginning otherwise.... So at least we know you didn't! :scootangel:

I pouted a bit when you fast forwarded one year, missing on all the delicious awkwardness that could have been learning to walk, meeting Pinkie the very first time, learning of Everfree and questioning the sanity of the architects of Ponyville, as well as mourning the lack of alcohol and good old fleshy, fat and delicious meat in his diet.

I believe that Rainbow could also develop a kind of grudge against Rincewind, who could rival her speed when spooked. Hay, you could use that scene anyway, maybe in a Fall Weather Friends-esque chapter, in which he would run like the seven hells were after him and win the race :rainbowlaugh:

Anyway, I cackled and laughed at this chapter, so job well done! Keep at it!

Curses, you have discovered my plot! You must be silenced, how many muffins will it take?

This is interesting.

You really got the style of writing down to a t, and you have made this an enjoyable read. :twilightsmile:

I meant my plan you perv. Besides, I'm a colt.

I meant my plan you perv. Besides, I'm a colt.1034038 Also, how do you post pictures in the chatbox?

When you add a comment, above, you have the Bold, Underline and Italics buttons, yes? Well, the buttons next to that are Insert Hotlink and Insert Picture.

And yes. I figured you are a colt. That is why finding your plot is. Burning. My. Eyes.

My apologies. Please, read the little addition i just made to this chapter. It should cheer you up.

“Er…well that is to say…”Rincewind stammered, looking rather flustered, for while his mind was that of a man, his body was currently that of a unicorn, and the sight of Rarity’s smile was getting a part of him wish he was still capable of wearing trousers

This won me over.
Next Chapter: Will Rincewind Ever Manage To Put The Books Back Where They Belong?

Well, I don't know about Rincewind thinking about partnering up with anyone, but it's pretty obvious Rarity's got her eye on him. :raritystarry: Probably some bizarrely misplaced maternal instinct kicking in.

Most Likely. She's offered to repair his Wizard robes and hat on several occasions, but as anyone worth their brony card knows, NO-PONY touches a Wizard's hat.

That, and Rincewind still associates good things happening to him with bad things happening to him in the near future, so accepting charity from anyone is a big no-no.

Currently reading you work, My Little Changeling: 'I' is Magic.

Have to say, Chip's really starting to grow on me.

>his body is that of a Pony, a Unicorn at that, and we all know that magic users are horny little buckers deep down.

I'm glaring disapprovingly at you at this point. Though the Internet. :facehoof:

“I mean, you need at least EIGHT of something to make it REALLY powerful.”

A Diskworld wizard actually _saying_ the number between seven and nine? It might be better to have him say "...at least twice four..." or "...more than seven...."

Correction has been made 'More than Seven'.

I forget, are they actually AFRAID of the number eight?


Not so much afraid of it but they know that saying it can cause magical effects.

I have these things to say:
- I am an avid reader of Discworld
- Rincewind is one of my favourite characters
- This fic is deserving of six stars on EqD.

I remember a joke from Night Watch concerning half a brick:

During a mandatory locker check following someone's inkwell being stolen, a particularly smug officer opens Sam Vimes' locker expecting to find it, only to find half a brick in a sock. He says "I'm saving up for a house."

Rincewind does it better though.

Was fun. I never expected Rincewind to actually get near Nightmare, let alone knock her out with such a street weapon :rainbowlaugh:

Good job

Well, to be fair, Rincewind CAN be rather sneaky when he wants to be. The only reason he DIDN'T use the Half-brick and sock on Coin the Sourceror is A: He hesitated when he saw how young coin actually was, and B: The staff noticed him when he hesitated.

Hmm, I wonder should Coin make an appearance later...then again, without Rincewind to save the Day, the Disc's pretty much bucked...

Great story but what does Rincewind look like as a pony and what's his cutie mark? I don't think you've described all that yet. As for pairing i vote for Rincewind/Twilight.

He's a brown colt, a little on the scrawny side, though his leg muscles are lithe and designed for long distance running. He still wears his tattered wizard robe and his WIZZZARD hat (no force in this or any universe will cause a wizard to willingly part with his hat). As a result of his robe, he flanks are normally covered, but he doesn't appear to have a cutie mark.

He DOES have one, it's just moving to fast for people to see it.

Great chapter as for a filly taking interest in Rincewind i vote for Twilight. Looking forward to seeing what adventure Rincewind will have with the gang. Will anypony every find out about Rincewind being from another world?
What other crossover stories about Rincewind have you read this is the only one i know about right now?

You're talking about Ysabelle?

Evidently you haven't read Soul Music...

That's the one with Death on a motorbike, right? Music with Rocks in it? Can't remember much else, but wasn't Susan, Death's Granddaughter, supposed to be in it?

Keep in mind this is set chronologically before Soul Music anyways.

No one pointed this out, so I felt I ought to:
"Did you honestly believe I’d leave the keys to my defeat just lying around where anyone could get their hands on them!"

Ok, I just found this and it is wonderful! Anyways hope to see it continued. And my vote for the filly goes to Pinkie, because Rincewind needs more reasons to be paranoid. :pinkiehappy:

Grand chapter, can't wait for more :pinkiehappy:

thank you for pointing that out. Has been edited.

I have actually, but this is set slightly before.
It's all wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey.

There has to be more of this, or I shall find the luggage and have it eat you.

Absolutely no pairings, if at all possible, but it is your story so do what you think would work best.

move the footnotes to below the paragraphs they are mentioned in, otherwise it's just too far down to bother with.

And seven odd years later, still quite an enjoyable premise to have stumbled across and read.

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