A Sparkle's Little Dusk
Chapter 1: The Flower and the Dying Wish
In the town of Charleston, South Carolina, there was a kid by the name of Henry who was living with his aunt and cousin while his parents were working in Europe for their business. Henry's parents said that they would be back to check on him when they get the chance. But when they left, Henry's aunt Bonnie and cousin Devon then started treated him badly. They made a mess around the house and made him clean it up all by himself.
That has been going on for 3 months. When his sixth birthday came, his parents sent him some birthday presents, but Devon took them for his own. And all he did get for his birthday was to clean the entire house. He wasn't really all that happy when he was there. He just wanted to go outside and play with his friends, but his aunt won't allow it.
Then one day, Henry got really sick. But did his aunt care? No. She wanted him to keep cleaning the house. Then she and Devon left Henry all alone to keep cleaning. It wasn't really helping. He needed some rest if he wanted to get better. But it wasn't enough to help.
As he kept cleaning, he heard the door open, and there was Henry's parents. When they saw him, they were surprised at the state he was in.
"Henry?" his mom asked. "What has happened to you?"
"M-Mommy...?" Henry asked, sickly.
Henry's parents rushed towards him, and hugged him tightly. Henry's father then asked, "How could this have happened to you?"
Henry looked at his father and weakly said, "Aunt Bonnie... she... made me... her... slave..."
"Slave?!" Henry's parents angrily asked in unison.
"My own sister?" Henry's mom asked. "How dare she do this to my son?" She then got out her cell phone, and called her sister.
"Oh, hello, Emma," came the voice of Bonnie. "How have you been doing in Europe?"
"Oh, I'm doing fine," said Henry's mom, hiding the fact that she's angry. "I have a question for you. How is Henry? Is he getting enough nutrition? Seeing his friends? Is he healthy?"
"Oh, yes," said Bonnie through the phone. "Right now, I'm watching him at the park. He's having a lot of fun with his friends."
"Huh. Well that's funny," said Henry's mom, starting to get angry. "Because, I'm at your apartment, and it looks like Henry's here all by himself, and he looks really sick."
"WHAT?!" Bonnie exclaimed through the phone. "You're back in the states?! Okay, listen..."
"No, you listen!" Henry's mom snapped at her. "You treated Henry like a slave, and clean up your apartment, when he's sick and alone. You said that you would take good care of him while we were away. But it would seem that you've lied to the both of us." She then looked at Henry and asked, "Did you receive the gifts we sent you?"
"Aunt Bonnie took them and the toys I had, and gave them to Devon for him to keep forever," said Henry, very sick. He then started coughing.
Henry's mom then spoke into the phone, saying, "You are never going to be trusted again. I'll be alerting the police about your behavior to my son."
Henry's dad picked Henry up, and they headed out of the apartment. They took Henry to the nearest hospital and the doctors took Henry, and he was put into a hospital room.
The doctors said, "It would seem that all of the medical records on Henry were destroyed."
"Seriously?" Henry's mom asked. "My sister destroyed my son's medical records, too?! She's evil, and we didn't even know it!"
"But, I'm afraid that it won't be enough to save Henry," said the doctor. "His sickness is so severe... he would be lucky to survive the night."
That made the parents sad. Henry's mom had tears coming out of her eyes. Henry's father then said, "We should've taken him with us instead of leaving him with your sister."
"I agree," said Henry's mom. She then leaned towards Henry on the bed, kissed him on the forehead and said, "I am so sorry, Henry. I wish I knew what my sister was doing to you sooner."
"M-Mommy..." Henry said, weakly.
"Don't speak, Henry," said Henry's mother. "I'll always love you." She took Henry's hand and put it to her heart and said, "In here."
Henry was sad to know that he was dying, but he was happy knowing that he got to see his parents one last time.
Later that night, Henry looked out the window. He saw one star brightly shining. He decided to make one last wish.
"Star Light... Star Bright... First Star I see tonight... I wish I may... I wish I might... have the wish I wish tonight... He thought in his head. "I wish my parents would have a second chance on being good parents. And for myself, I wish that I would be given another chance with a new family of my own. A family that will appreciate me for who I am."
Just then his heart started beating slower and slower. But then his heart stopped with a long, never-ending beep on the heart monitor. Henry's parents were sad to see that their son has passed away. And the doctor looked at the clock, and written something on a note. "Time of death: 8:02 PM."
Meanwhile, in the land of Equestria, in the small town of Ponyville, there was a mare named Twilight Sparkle. She lived in the Golden Oaks Library. Twilight and her assistant Spike were cleaning up the library before turning in for the night. Twilight then noticed a book missing on one shelf.
Twilight then asked, "Spike? Have you seen that book, 'Advanced Spells Vol. IV'?" She was looking towards Spike when asking.
"Weren't you reading it back at the Hedge yesterday?" Spike asked.
"Did I?" Twilight asked. Then she remembered. "Oh, yeah. You're right. Guess I kinda forgot about it. I must've left it there."
The Hedge was a place where the Cutie Mark Crusaders; Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, were originally going to have their club meetings before Applejack showed them the treehouse. But Twilight and her five friends; Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, found out when they accidentally went to a dimension where everypony was the opposite gender. It was the crusaders of that dimension that showed them where the Hedge was. Even if they used it to hide from their male doppelgangers; Dusk Shine, Applejack, Rainbow Blitz, Elusive, Butterscotch and Berry Bubble.
Twilight eventually had to team up with her counterpart to get her and the other girls home. They eventually did, and now they go to the Hedge from time to time. The Crusaders of their dimension go too, as long as they're under the supervision of Twilight or any of her friends.
It took a while for Twilight to get to the Hedge, and she went in through the entrance. She lit up her horn to find the book she was missing at the library. When she left the library, she told Spike to continue with the chores, then head on to bed. Twilight said that she would return to the library as soon as she could.
Twilight eventually found the book she was looking for. Twilight walked over to it, then put the book into the saddlebags she had on and said, "Perfect. Now to get back home and..." Twilight was about to head out of there, but then she noticed a tunnel on the other side of the Hedge across from the entrance. Twilight walked over towards it in wonder and said, "Huh. I wonder where this leads."
Twilight was standing a little too close to the tunnel, and the tunnel had a bit of a slope to it. Twilight eventually slipped and she was sliding down the hall, screaming all the way there.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!"
She eventually made it towards the end of the tunnel, which lead her in the middle of the Everfree Forest. Still quite away from the Castle of the Two Sisters.
"W-where am I?" Twilight asked, lighting up her horn. She was worried at the moment. Twilight looked around for some way back to town. She eventually saw a bunch of flowers, which started to bloom from the light of the full moon. "Wow. It's... It's beautiful." She eventually took a look at all of the flowers around her. She smiled until a unique flower on a pedestal started blooming. The flower was pink and purple.
Slowly, Twilight walked over towards it. She was wondering what that special flower is. Twilight slowly walked towards it. She reached the pedestal, and took a sniff at the flower. But then the flower sprayed some pink pollen in her face.
Twilight coughed and stepped back. She then said, "I should probably get home." She then looked towards the sky, looking for any way of getting back to Ponyville. Then she saw the brightest star in the sky. "Okay, that's the north star. And since Ponyville is West of the Everfree Forest, it should be... this way." Twilight then started walking West, hoping that she would get back to the Golden Oaks Library.
As she was walking, she wasn't paying any attention to her stomach slowly swelling up. She did, however, feel her stomach grumble, and felt hungry.
"Huh. I'm feeling really hungry," Twilight thought to herself. "Maybe I should go pick up a pizza for me and Spike." Then she thought of something when going wide eyed. "Wait a minute! Spike and I already had dinner! So, why am I so hungry all of a sudden?!" She then felt the straps on her saddlebags begin to go tight around her belly. "My saddlebags are feeling a little tight. Maybe I should..." Twilight made the mistake of looking at the straps, but noticed that her stomach was bigger.
"What in Celestia's name!?" Twilight shouted. "What's happening to me?!" She then felt pain coming from her stomach. She had no choice but to lay down on her side. She looked around and called out, "Help! Somepony, please help me!"
Twilight felt another pain in her stomach, and she cried out in pain. She was crying in pain at how much it was hurting her stomach. She had no choice but to take off the saddlebags. Twilight then started breathing heavily, trying to ease the pain that was happening. Until a familiar voice came to her ears.
"At this time at the forest is usually rare for you to do. Might I ask what has happened to you?"
Twilight looked around and saw Zecora walking towards her.
"Zecora! Help me!" Twilight called out. Zecora walked towards her and saw the pollen all over Twilight's face.
"By the looks of the pollen all over your face, you've come across a flower that rarely blooms in this place," Zecora said.
"I need to get back home," said Twilight, but then she felt another pain in her stomach. "What's happening to me?"
"I shall explain at my home. Tonight's the night where monsters roam," Zecora rhymed. She then picked up Twilight, and put her on her back. She then grabbed her saddlebags, and started walking back to her hut.
Zecora finally got Twilight back to the hut where she lived. Zecora put Twilight onto the bed where Zecora usually sleeps, and puts a bunch of towels underneath her rear area.
"Why did you put towels under my flanks?!" Twilight asked loudly, trying to push through the pain.
"Twilight Sparkle, do not repent. The pollen on that face of yours made you pregnant," Zecora explained in rhyme.
"Pr-pregnant?!" Twilight asked. "N-no! That's not how it works!"
"A magical pregnancy has been inflected on you. Until it is over, there is nothing you can do," Zecora explained. "Life is so important for a young foal. But this usually takes effect for the dying wish of a young soul."
"A dying wish? A young soul?" Twilight asked. "You mean, I'm giving birth to a body for a young foal's spirit?"
"I do understand that this is a blunder. But it usually is for a soul who is seven or under," Zecora asked. "But this young soul that comes from a different zone, it's previous species, to us, will be unknown."
"You mean, the spirit that'll enter this foal will come from an entirely different species?" Twilight asked. "Like a dragon or a griffin?"
"It is different every time. For now, focus on your leaking slime," Zecora explained.
Twilight looked down and saw that she was leaking from her section. "Oh no!" Twilight shouted. "My water broke! It's coming!" Then a huge bolt of pain came from her. "GAAAAAAAHHH!!"
"Twilight Sparkle, please relax. On helping give birth, I know the facts," Zecora said. She then started getting supplies and potions to help Twilight through her pain. She handed Twilight one bottle and said, "Drink this to reduce your pain. It's difficult for me to explain."
Twilight nodded and started drinking from the bottle. Then she felt her hind legs go numb. Twilight looked down and saw that Zecora put a rounded pole with a curtain around her belly, so she wouldn't be able to see what was going on.
Twilight then started pushing to get the foal out of her. She felt the stinging cessation coming from her crotch area. She could feel her private area stretching. "GAAAAH!!" she let out one painful cry. "It hurts so much!" She then started breathing fast.
"I can see the foal's tush. Get ready for another push," Zecora said. Twilight nodded and started pushing. It was really painful for her. When Zecora saw the foal, it really confused her. "Unbelievable. This is certainly new. It would seem that this foal has the same colors as you."
"What?!" Twilight nearly shouted. "But no newborn foal should have the same colors as their parents."
"I must agree from this unexpected jolt. Especially when this foal is a colt," said Zecora. She eventually got the foal out of Twilight. Then a flowing light came from out of nowhere, and has inserted itself into the newborn colt. Then the colt started aging, then stopped when it was at age six.
"Is... is the colt okay?" Twilight asked weakly.
"The colt is fine, I must confess. But for now, you two need your rest," Zecora said. "I shall inform your friends tomorrow. For now, my bed you can borrow." Zecora then got the colt cleaned up.
After the colt was cleaned, Zecora put it next to Twilight. When Twilight saw the colt, she noticed that the colt looked like her gender swapped counterpart from the other dimension.
"D-Dusk?" Twilight asked. Twilight wanted to expect the colt more, but she went under. Zecora then removed the towels from under Twilight, and then covered Twilight and the little colt up with a blanket. Zecora then got out a spare bed, and then blew out the lantern and headed to bed. Hopefully, everything will make sense for Twilight in the morning.
huh. this is certainly an interesting concept.
*Casually adds to tracking*
Nice and interesting. I love a good parent story!
Not bad for this chapter. But I do feel sorry for Henry. I'm hope that aunt of his will get what coming to her.
Still wonders how the aunt got the medical records destroyed not to mention all the other records that would exist. What between school records, doctors records both digital and physical. We also can't forget power of attorney so the aunt would have authority if anything happened
I need something bad to happen to Henry's aunt and cousin. Also, the relationship of Henry's family reminded me of Harry Potter, Aunt Petunia, and Dudley XD
Good beginning and hope they go to prison for life for kid death at the aunt and uncle
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No uncle. But there is a cousin.
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Sorry forget and thought is uncle and can't wait to see the next chapter
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sorry I forgot
Interesting story, I am not sure if it was worth linking this story with someone else's own story especially sense the reference has little relevant you could just has come up with another reason why he was named Dusk Shine like other stories have done, like Saying Dusk Shine is the male version of dusk shine or a tradition or made it up on the spot,; take your pick. But, I don't think it will be necessary to come back to it unless this other world will be important later in the story, so we will see if that is the case later in the story.
As for the writing itself while still a bit stilted at the moment was certainly steadily improving especially toward the end of the chapter. What is really missing in the story is the is the narrator explaining what Twilight was feeling in the moment and what are here relation with other characters and what they look like instead of assuming the reader already know who they are, even if obviously everyone does, it's just good form to do if only to better make an image in our heads, but the story will definitely benefit better with a little more context.
I think the idea of the Poison joke like plan reincarnation is interesting premise to be born and I could imagine that it will be a big shock for Twilight to give birth to a six year old all of the sudden, and I can't wait to see who she will explain it to everyone what happen. I am sure Nightlight and Shining armor would like the head of the one how 'abandoned' Twilight and her foal like that. I wonder if Twilight's priorities will drastically change from this point like wanting to find a husband or wife to help raise him, or will she go back to Canterlot with her parents not sure if the rest of the main six can really help her with that. I wonder if Dusk will start to age quickly still?
Looking forward to see what comes next.
Also if you are looking to commission another cover art I am open, you can go see my YouTube and here is my DeviantArt. You can PM if you want to talk about it further.
I wish you good luck on your story.
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It would be a cruel joke to revive to die shortly after.
I was about to write that she could not move for a while, then I remembered that she is a pony and not a human, so she could easily walk in the morning.
Now, suppose the girls meet in, the library, maybe? Well, they'll ask Spike where Twilight is and he'll say he hasn't seen her since she left at night. Then, while they wonder what could have happened to him, Zecora arrives, a few moments later five voices are heard throughout the town shouting "SHE WHAT!"
Nice concept. Yes...
Yikes! Talk about a quick pregnancy!
I would given another chance
Ok, just how Zecora knows everything about that plant?
, ( yeah i know, she could have studied about it in the past but that's too much information so suddenly) it feels too forced i think is better if those facts stay anonymous for now(we are at the beginning of the story of course) you know, like "saving some bullets" for later, and for the rest is ok, the age progression for Dusk is to justify the fact that he can interact with others characters more early in the story and i suppose that this is before of Twilight's ascension, it could have been interesting to see her dealing with a baby around in those times and how Dusk will try to adjust himself in that young and new body but that's ok i guess 
I will follow the story
Nice story and a cool concept. It could use better pacing. I look forward to more.
Even if the beginning feels a bit rushed to me, the idea behind this story is interresting. Can't wait to see Celestia's reaction, once she hears about this.
Wait, what’s this a crossover with?
Okay I have one issue with this. Just one.
How would the Aunt have been able to destroy the Hospital's copy of the records. She may have destroyed her copies, but the hospital should have had theirs alphabetized and arranged by date. A better explanation would be the old "if she brought Henry to the hospital sooner, they could have treated him, but since she simply didn't, there's nothing they can do" routine. It may be cliché, but for it is for good reason, it still happens far too often.
Ah, the abusive caretaker or guardian and bleeding heart cliches. It takes a lot of skill to nail these properly. I have a feeling you will do a good job though.
That whole rushed pregnancy/birth scenario reminds me of an episode of Fringe where a woman gets impregnated accidentally by some man and then she gives birth like an hour later (she dies of childbirth) and the baby just keeps aging until it dies of old age...
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Don't worry. Twilight or the young colt won't die that quickly.
If that were my kid, I don't care if it was my own mother, I'd find her, beat the shit out of her regardless of where we were at, then choke her to death.
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Agreed, but not the choking part
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Correct. The word he was looking for is "strangle." You would strangle her to death.
I hope his parents sew the aunt
You probably want to go back and put some finishing touches on it. There are a lot of sentences where you tell what is going on and then show it as well. Doing both makes it feel unpolished. On the plus side I did not see a single spelling error in the whole chapter... I think that may be a first for me. There are incomplete sentences and missing words though. As I said you want to edit again. Anyway continuing on.
Twilight, you should know that mysterious magical flowers can do anything.
Also, I would kill Aunt Bonnie if I had that happen to me(not literally kill)
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me too
It starts with a giant rushing exposition dump. It does get much less tell-y towards the end, so if that trend continues, you’re getting better. Dialogue is a bit stilted, but part of that is probably just due to having to switch in and out of “Zecora mode” as you write. Still, something to keep in mind. I’m a big advocate of reading what you write out loud to yourself as a part of your editing and proofreading process to catch stuff like that. But do slow down a bit! This is zooming so far. On to chapter two...
She's your sister and you didn't know she was evil? YOU LIVED WITH HER FOR YEARS! WHAT HAVE YOU'VE BEEN DOING FOR THE LAST 0-30+ YEARS WOMAN?!
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Evil people can be good at hiding it. They most likely know how to manipulate people, even from a young age.
I thought Devon was Henry’s cousin not his uncle?
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Yea i wouldn't kill her i would make sure she was tortured until she dies of old age
Wow this is dark. Still I hope it gets better as it goes along.
Pregnancy flower: BECAUSE WHY NOT!!!!
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Well there are flowers that turn any who come in contact with it into trees so a pregnancy plant is possible to exist
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And Also A Flower That Plays Jokes On Whoever Comes Into Contact With It.
Oh god...
Nope, nope, nope 🙅🏻 🙅🏻 🙅🏻 🙅🏻 🙅🏻
I was already skeptical by the description but I decided to give this a chance like any good person but I'm sorry, no.
Forced magical pregnancy?! And nopony has done anything about these flowers? I sure wouldn't want to have to take care of some random baby when I didn't actually want a kid.
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Can I put your story on fanfiction app I won't take credit for your story I'll give you the credit for the story
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Also what ever happened to Henrys aunt's husband did he die or something or did he just take off.
Wow, the story of Henry was so sad, I watched how Harry was treated badly by the Dursleys, James by the aunts Spiker and Sponge, and Elliot by the Gogan family, but Henry being treated as a slave until to his death was so terrible.
I could wonder this song when Henry reborn as a pony being a colt version of Twilight:
https://m.Interesting history.