A/N: Please make sure the setting in the upper right reads āDarkā and not āLightā. Thank you.
The opinions expressed in this chapter do not necessarily reflect those of the author, narrator, W, B, or anyone else.
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The courtesy for this suggested battle came from morrisonmatt32. Be sure to thank him.
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Properties in this chapter belong to Hasbro, Screw Attack, and Marvel comics.
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The Moment No Pony Was Waiting For
Season 2
(13)
Today is a good day. I canāt wait to see the bloodshed.
Itās crazy what some men will do these days to grab a chance at punching God in the face. This time, weāre giving that lucky bastard his chance, free of charge.
The monster and Avenger known as the Incredible Hulk will throw down with the G4 alicorn pony: Princess Luna.
Heās W and Iām B.
And itās our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
---Death Battle---
The Hulk
-True identity: Bruce Banner; Intellect: Genius-level
-A victim of intense gamma radiation and transforms when angry
-Super strength, speed, endurance, reflexes, and durability
-Immunity to diseases and viruses; resistance to mind control
-Accelerated healing and longevity
-Can sense astral forms and breathe underwater
-Can be mentally unstable and inconsistent
After a lab accident, Professor Bruce Banner became exposed to intense gamma radiation. When his anger and adrenaline run at an all-time high, his body grows larger and gains a green hue. He is the Incredible Hulk.
Twenty bucks says Hulk wins this fight.
It isnāt hard to imagine why youād say that. Hulkās super strength and hand-to-hand combat are enough to overpower a number of enemies. Additionally, he has superhuman speed, reflexes, endurance, and durability.
When combined with his spruced up healing factor, they easily demolished the queen of all equines in his last battle.
You mean Princess Celestia of Equestria?
Thatās what I said.
Hulk has a few more tricks in his arsenal besides physical traits. He can breathe underwater, sense astral forms, and resist mind control. Additionally, he is immune to all viral infections and diseases.
There is one thing about him that prevents him from being perfect. During the time that he isnāt a green giant, heās a nerd!
ā¦ Ahem.
Youāre a geek, W. Thereās a difference.
Rightā¦ Anyway, Hulk has an arguable weakness due to his own mental instability. Several times in his life, heās suffered from multiple personality disorder. His mild-mannered and angry-fueled personas clash with each other at the worst of times.
Plus the writers are constantly inconsistent with what can kill him. Can his radiation be absorbed by other entities or canāt it? Is his neck impervious or can he be choked to death by a snake? Also, how many missiles and tanks is the government going to waste before they realize they wonāt do s*** to him?
The world may never know, B.
āHulk SMASH!ā
---Death Battle---
Princess Luna
-Alicorn: strength, flight, and magic
-Specialty in raising the moon
-Is also capable of shooting lightning, giving life to inanimate objects, levitation, entering dreams, and weather manipulation
-Implied that she can teleport
-Wears a black tiara, neck adornment, and glass slippers
-Is playful, kind, and wise
-Has an intimidating temper coupled with her Royal Canterlot voice
Luna is the acclaimed Princess and guardian of the night.
The last time we saw her, she held her own quite well against Ace Attorney Phoenix Wright.
In addition to having a rumbling volume known as the Royal Canterlot Tone, she is gifted with a number of other unique powers. These include but arenāt limited to her ability to raise the moon, arrange the night sky, and enter the dreams of other ponies.
Oh ho ho, mind rape!
Iām going to pretend I didnāt hear that. Like her older sister Celestia, Luna is an alicorn pony. She has the earth shattering strength of an earth pony, the flight and weather manipulation of a Pegasus, and the magical arts of a unicorn.
Said magic typically takes the form of lightning bolts. How this lightning can bring a bunch of stuffed spiders to life is beyond me.
She can also use her magic for levitation and it is implied that she is capable of teleportation.
Due to the whole being-Nightmare-Moon-arc, sheās about one thousand years behind modern Equestrian culture. Thereās also not a whole lot of info involving what part she really takes in the government of all those colorful ponies.
In spite of this, she has gained quite a positive reputation due to her kind nature and wisdom. Ponies like Pipsqueak and Scootaloo quickly found her to be their favorite.
And hey, she can alter her form to Nightmare Moon on command now. So thatās a thing.
A scene is shown with Nightmare Moon glowing white, shrinking back to Luna, and spitting out false fangs.
āI am not certain that did what you meant for it to do, Twilight Sparkle.ā
But the question remains: can she defeat the enemy that even Celestia couldnāt?
āFace your fears!ā
---Death Battle---
All right, the combatants are set. Letās settle this debate once and for all.
Itās time for a DEATH BATTLE!
---Death Battle---
Previously on The Moment No Pony Was Waiting Forā¦
In a flash of light, Celestia vanishes. Still enraged, the Hulk lifts a section of earth, causing the cameraman to fall onto his back.
---{Canterlot}
The familiar light of some pony teleporting appears before her. She gasps at the sight of the condition said pony is in. She hurriedly gallops to that ponyās side.
āSister!ā she exclaims.
āSisterā takes a few shallow breaths. She is covered in bruises and there are traces of blood dripping from her mouth. She lets out a painful cough before saying her mind.
āLuna, bewareā¦ beware of theā¦ā She coughs again.
āBeware of what?ā Luna asks in worry.
āTheā¦ Hulkā¦ Smash.ā The older sisterās eyes close as she blacks out on the floor.
Tears roll down Lunaās eyes as she lowers her head. For a fleeting moment, she stands there unmoving. Her sister needs time to rest. But there is a threat out there that needs immediate attention. The evening is still young.
Luna raises her head. The tears are replaced with a look of determination and boiling fury.
āRest, dear sister,ā she tells the unconscious one, āAs always, I will guard the night.ā
An orb of light surrounds her and she vanishes from the scene.
---{The Field}
The fabric between reality and nonsense is completely torn at the moment. Several U.S. government authorized tanks have rolled in and begun firing on the immense enemy. This attack, however, is having no effect beyond making the enemy even angrier. The enemy grabs hold of one of the tankās cannons, whips the entire tank around, and tosses it onto the second tank.
Michael Bay would be proud.
The enemy grabs another tank and flings it into the air. Not trained for air travel, the tank drivers have no idea what to do except scream.
---{Mid-air}
An orb of light briefly flashes before revealing Luna. She sees two very large, metallic object fly past her. The camera gives a little foreshadowing on the objectsā potential landing zone by zooming in on Ponyville. With a gasp and some concentration, a couple beams of lightning stream from Lunaās horn. They seem to act more as tractor beams than lasers because she slowly pulls them out of their paths until gently lowering them flat on the ground underneath her.
āHulk smash!ā
The sudden yell catches Lunaās attention. She turns to see a rather large green entity that seems very intent on punching dents into more metal objects and some of the earth as well. Her surprise gives way to a serious look.
āReturn to your homes,ā she tells the two metal creatures she just saved, āI shall deal with this monstrosity.ā
---{Inside one of the tanks}
The driver activates his radio, āUm, Mother Wolf? This is Leopard. Thereās aā¦ black, flying horse toy saying that itāll deal with the target. What are your orders? Over.ā
The radio clicks with a brief bit of static, āLeopard, this is Mother Wolf. Weāve just received new intelligence regarding your current location.ā
It then makes a slightly different click, āAll units return to base at once. Allow this new arrival to do as it wishes. Do not engage. I repeat: do not engage. Over.ā
---{The Field}
Thereās a little hesitation from the artillery as the newest order is confusing. However, they eventually truck around and away from the enemy back through the fabric of reality which they had been pulled through. After a few minutes, the green entity and the black horse are the only breathing creatures in the immediate area.
āYour presence threatens the lives of my little ponies,ā declares Luna, āYour actions prove to be destructive and you have severely injured my sister.ā
As she flaps her wings, the moon rises with her. The very air shakes with her next words.
āNow, thou shalt feel the wrath of Princess Luna of the Night!ā
Even though her speech would send others shrinking to the ground in fear, the Hulk matches the furious look of the night princess with a roar of his own.
āSo be it.ā Luna harrumphs.
āFIGHT!ā
Without another word, Luna aims her lightning-covered magic in a straight blast against her opponent. Although it sounds crackling on impact, it doesnāt appear to leave any lasting damage. Hulk jumps into the air and smacks Luna with a backhand. She crashes into the ground. She grunts as she stands back up.
Hulk takes this time to lift a huge chunk of the earth before throwing it over his head. Concentrating, a blue aura surrounds Lunaās horn as well as the giant boulder. It slows to a halt before she launches it back to whence it came. Hulk blocks his face with his arms and the rock crumbles into pebbles upon colliding with him. He slides back a few feet before growling.
A few more rapid rocks are thrown. Instead of trying to stop all of them, Luna covers herself in a white light and teleports around the field. The wave of rocks completely misses her. She reappears several meters behind Hulk and delivers her own barrage in the form of lightning bolts. Some burn marks appear on Hulkās back before quickly giving way back to a natural green hue.
Conjuring up every bit of magic she can, Luna gathers a large cluster of storm clouds above the field. The winds blow fiercely as the rain pours down heavily. With her eyes glowing white, she summons forth a massive strike of lightning from the sky. Hulk is practically covered with electricity. Charred black from head to toe, he falls to his knees.
Luna trots forward in front of the monster. āNow, we shall accept thy surrend-!
A green hand nabs around her throat, cutting off whatever sentence she was going to say. Some of the black dust crumbles off of Hulkās face revealing a very mad scowl. His other hand wraps around Lunaās torso. She struggles to breathe.
A popping noise is heard. This is followed by a cracking soundā¦ and anotherā¦ and another. Luna tries to fight the strangle-hold, but all this accomplishes is making her eyes roll up. Finally, her body canāt take anymore as her horn charges a white aura. In a blink of white light, sheās gone.
Hulk takes a flying leap before smashing both fists into the ground. The shockwave rushes around his position and the cameraman gets flung into the night sky.
āI donāt get paid enough for thiiiiiiiis!ā the cameraman screams as he twinkles like one of the stars.
āK.O.!ā
---Death Battle---
Ha, called it! Pay up, W.
We never shook on it.
D**n it! I knew I was forgetting something.
The Hulkās sheer strength and invulnerability is enough to overcome some of the most powerful magic users.
He even gave Loki a good beating.
Most of Lunaās versatile abilities are dependent on the dream world, a place that doesnāt exist in an enemy thatās wide awake. Her electricity may have stood a chance if it werenāt for Hulkās healing factor.
Not to mention her power isnāt that much stronger than Celestia if at all.
And even though Lunaās power seems to increase slightly when angry, Hulkās power increases much more so by that same emotion.
Luna faced a bone-crushing defeat.
The winner is the Hulk.
---Death Battle---
---{Canterlot Castle}
A white light flashes next to the sleeping Celestia. Sore all over and choking, Luna pants out her next words carefully as she lies on her side.
āSave aā¦ place for me, sister. Iāllā¦ beā¦ thereā¦ soon.ā Her head flops to the floor and her eyes flitter shut.
ā¦
What? Theyāre not dead. Theyāre just in their dream world right now.
---Death Battle---
Not next time, but sometime in the foreseeable futureā¦
āPrincess Celestia and Luna told me that there was a green menace around this area. But where is it?ā
If the end of the world doesnāt kill us firstā¦
āOh, you donāt have to worry about that anymore. I already handled him.ā
Sometime before the Winter Olympicsā¦
āWhat? Who are you?ā
Ultimate magicians shall clash.
āA master of the mystic arts. Care for a demonstration?ā
Coming in late 2014
---Death Battle---
If I had all the facts, I'd be all over that preview's battle in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, EqG didn't give a whole lot of insight into what new abilities she has now. It'll have to wait until after Season 4's end.
I wonder if the Hulk can take them BOTH on at the same time? Celestial Alicorn tag team!
3222277
I think Hulk should face Pinkie Pie she is the only one with a chance.
3222635What, because she is a reality-warping
Elder Godeldritch abominationepic-level pony?3222772 Yup and can lightly hop faster than 57 mach. (Rainbows top speed)
So Doctor Strange might be involved in the next one? Nice...
This battle was one-sided as ever. We all knew what happened with Loki. Luna's nothing special
3223434And has access to hammerspace and the top of the 4th Wall. And is psychic.
3223586,
3223660 forgive my derping
You know who I haven't seen much/any of in these? A Mr. Iron Will. I've personally been wondering how he'd fare against a certain World Champ.
I think one of them should have just thrown or teleported the hulk into deep space, because he can`t survive in space for too long(He can`t hold his breath forever). Eeyep!
Beware....the ......hulk.....smash