The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody)

by TundraStanza

Outtakes: In No Particular Order

We advise all who care about "Formatting" to cross over to the "Dark" side. ... Wait, stilt!
Cut!
*clap*
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The Moment No Pony was Waiting For

Blippity Bloppity Bloopers

So Pinkie Pie, how would you describe certain parts of this Death Battle parody to any pony else?

~*Plays that song used in the "Shooting Star" meme*~

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Nightmare Moon vs. Zod

"Kneel!" Zod shouts. His hands come in for a clap... and two cymbals crash against Nightmare Moon's head. The resulting vibration sends her entire body shaking while floating backwards. Zod holds out his hands, looking at the metal disks with a confused expression on his face.

Sorry, just had to fit in one more joke before I left work today.

A/N: Darn you, Discord!

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Raiden from Metal Gear vs. Shining Armor

Raiden grunts questioningly as he switches up his attack. He frees up his fists as something crackles through his artificial muscle fibers. He starts punching the shield at a rate that would make Neo from the Matrix jealous. Shining Armor crouches a little, but his shield holds fast.

"WAH ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta!"

A large finger taps Raiden's shoulder. "Excuse me."

"Hrm?" Raiden turns around... and gets punched by a fist.

"That's my catchphrase." Kenshiro cracks his knuckles, while also reforming his shirt in the process.

---

Metal Sonic vs. Rainbine from Elements of Insanity

F appears to be struggling to remember his line after the fight ends.

Hasta la Mastercard, baby!

*blip*

Hasta la Discover, baby!

*blip*

Hasta la American Express, baby!

*blip*

Hasta la Capital One, baby!

*blip*

---

Celestia vs. Toriel

"FIGHT!"

Celestia's horn glows somewhat brighter. Fires erupt and-

Oi, mate! That's my part you're reading!

"Wait, what?" A page ruffles. "Oh. Oh! Sorry. I was wondering why it looked like I had more highlighted lines than normal today."

Look, man. It's fine. Just... try to pay attention to the things around you. Yeah?

---

Starlight Glimmer vs. Amon from Legend of Korra

Starlight Glimmer holds the masked man in place, with her magic. Amon keeps the unicorn still, with his mind's blood-bending. They stare at each other with an air of defiance.

"Oh my gosh..." Mako the current spectator groans. "This is dumb. This is very dumb."

"I agree." Korra nods her head. "Sure is a lot of not kissing Asami right now. ... You know what would fix that?"

Mako glances at her. "Is it kissing Asami?"

"A good ol' rousing round of kissing Asami!" Korra punches her left palm with her right hand.

---

Discord disguised as Trixie vs. Papyrus

"IT... SEEMS... THAT VICTORY... IS NO CLOSER FOR ME... THAN IT IS... FOR YOU." His nonexistent lungs rise and collapse. "HOW ABOUT... WE CALL... A TRUCE? I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL SPARE YOU, HORSEY."

*Approximately fifteen minutes later...*

'Trixie' sticks a fork into the clearly under-cooked pasta and attempts to take a bite. Her jaws slowly move up and down. The taste is... indescribable. Her eyes betray a bit of red and yellow color in disbelief.

"SO, HOW DO YOU LIKE MY SPAGHETTI?" asks Papyrus.

Just as 'Trixie' is about to say something unflattering, she notices the other skeleton giving her the lightless stare. For reasons she can't identify, she feels rather intimidated at Sans's expression. Saying the wrong thing may lead to a very bad road.

The disguised pony chokes and swallows. "It...It's like... n-nothing I've... ever... had... before." She forces a flat-toothed smile and chuckles nervously.

Papyrus gasps. "WOWIE! YOU REALLY LIKE IT? SUCCESS! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE MADE A FRIEND BY WAY OF MY FANTASTIC COOKING SKILLS!" He sniffs as clear tears drip from his eye sockets. "THIS IS EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED."

"Good job, Paps." Sans puts his hands in his pocket. "But there's no need to... spaghetti all sappy-eyed."

"OH MY GOSH, SANS!" The taller brother groans as the moment is ruined.

---

Rainbow Dash vs. Undyne

Undyne grabs the stove's dial and turns it all the way to the right. "It's *eff*in' rawwwwww!"

---

Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich vs. Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star

In what may be borderline stereotyping, all four combatants are wearing monocles and top hats.

"I say, did you ponies steal our colors of yellow and pink, eh wot?" asks Spongebob while setting down a tea cup.

"Surely not, sponge of the quadrilateral trousers." Pinkie swallows a crumpet. "I take great offense to that remark."

"I take offense to you taking offense to that!" Spongebob waves the noodles he calls arms in front of himself while his hands are balled into fists. "Have at thee, equine impostor!"

The camera transitions to a slap fight between the pink pony and sponge character. Amidst the hand slapping sound effects, there is the occasional demand from one or both participants for their opponent to stop.

"Hey... I want to have fun too..." Patrick whimpers.

"Okay!" Cheese Sandwich slaps the starfish with his hoof.

The screen splits down the middle to show both slap fights going on simultaneously. Pinkie and Spongebob continue with their fake British accents while Cheese and Patrick devolve into their more natural vocal ranges. How they're all managing to make physical contact without looking at each other, I'll never know.

---

Tirek vs. Frieza

*After the fight...*

Oh, come on! Can't any of the Dragon Ball Z cast win a stinking fight? This is getting sad.

What about Yamcha?

What about Yamcha?

We're going to see him beat a bunch of Pinkie Pie clones in a few chapters.

Oh, bravo. So he can turn some fake horses into glue. Anyone with their younger sister's toys and a microwave could do that in their own home.

... Starting to think you've got something against him. Ah... Oh my gosh. You're jealous that Yamcha can hold his own weight under three hundred times Earth's normal gravity longer than you can, aren't you?

NO! Shut up! I could easily break six hundred! I just don't feel like it.

Yeah, right.

---

Nathan Drake from Uncharted vs. Daring Do

"Well then, I'm terribly sorry that it had to go like this."

Daring Do pulls a rope out from her hat. Nathan pulls out a pistol and aims. The screen goes photo-negative as a blade suddenly protrudes out of his chest. Another bearded man in a white hoodie pulls his hand back and pushes Nathan onto the floor face-down.

"Too soon, man." Daring crosses her front hooves and shakes her head. "Too soon."

"Wait, how are you still alive?" Desmond looks around, then face palms. "Ohhhh... I am too soon. Oops."

---

Hermione Granger vs. Moondancer

"So, wait..." The pale unicorn adjusts her glasses. "You need to say two words every time you want to levitate something?"

"Of course." The young lady nods. "It's basic magic law to have at least two syllables for an incantation to work."

"Fascinating." Moondancer's horn glows and a quill scribbles on a floating notepad.

"Wait, you don't need any words for spell manifestation?" Hermione looks at the pen with scrutiny.

"Of course not." Moondancer raises her brow. "Magic is all about mental focus and imagery. With enough practice, it becomes second-nature."

"Bloody brilliant..." Using her hands, Hermione flips vigorously through two books at once.

---

Sassy Saddles vs. Trixie

"You would dare insult the Great and Powerful Trixie's versatile violet?!" A flash of purple, er... violet aura knocks her hat off and she magically yanks a couple clothing chests from outside into the building. "You will rue this day!"

Sassy turns around, gasping at the damage inflicted on the front wall. She then closes her mouth in a newfound frustration. "Ma'am, I should probably inform you that we reserve the right to refuse service to anypony. ... Security!"

A bunch of random police officer ponies charge in and beat up Trixie in a cartoon, dust cloud formation. The show pony screams at all of the violence that the audience cannot see.
---

And now for something thrown in at the last minute...

Sorry, looks like you got interrupted there. You were about to tell us your thoughts on this parody?

The poofy-haired pony looks around and blows some loose soap bubbles away from her.

It was... good. Yeah, it was really good.
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Author's Note:

All properties belong to their respective owners. Hash brown not sponsored.
Cut!
*clap*
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Safe winters, everyone!

Comments

[Dirty Bit]

Those DBZ Abridged references