The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody)

by TundraStanza

Bros. vs. Bros.

A/N: The folks over at Death Battle don't usually give reasons why characters they use would ever fight to the death. After all, there's no way in heck the Ninja Turtles would willingly murder each other. (Well, Raphael maybe, but certainly not Donatello.) So if you're confused as to why the four characters in this chapter would try to kill each other, that's why. With that said, let's get started.
Properties belong to Hasbro, Screw Attack, and Nintendo.
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The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (19)

---Death Battle---

Tricky little devil, that Kefka. Looks like he evaded my offer to fight some pony to the death again. Oh well.

Example pictures of siblings appear on screen.

W starts, "Television and video games alike have many times expressed the importance of brotherly bonds."

"Like Mario and Luigi, the Mario Brothers," says B.

"And Flim and Flam, the Flim Flam Brothers."

"Wait,... since when are ponies allowed to wear facial hair?"

"I'm W and he's B and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle."

---Death Battle---

A couple of men of Italian descent appear on screen in red and green plumber outfits.

"After getting sucked into the Mushroom Kingdom during a plumbing job," introduces W, "Mario and Luigi were tasked with helping to keep Princess Toadstool AKA Peach and her kingdom safe from the evil forces of King Koopa AKA Bowser."

"What is with these characters and name changes?" asks B. Various stats appear on screen as W continues.

"The Mario Brothers are super strong, capable of destroying bricks with nothing but their fists. They can jump fairly high although Luigi's jumping ability is vastly superior to Mario's."

"And they've both survived every Mario Party game in existence. Dang, talk about guts."

"Each of the brothers has collected a vast number of power-ups over the years. The fire flower grants them pyrokinetic abilities. The ice flower grants them cryomantic abilities."

"That's fire powers and ice powers in layman's terms."

"Various shrooms grant them extra growth and abilities. Specifically, the propeller shroom grants them extra jumping height, tornado-like prowess, and drill slams."

"The starman grants them invincibility, capable of killing normal enemies just by touching them."

"And cape feathers grant them indefinite flight."

"One of the more recent power-ups that have turned up is the blue Koopa shell, granting them the same invulnerability of any other Koopa in its shell."

"Though, this has allowed them to hit far-off switches and item boxes that were otherwise unobtainable."

"By the way, why are they called the Mario Brothers? I mean sure, Mario's the older one but..."

"It's because Mario is their last name."

"What? What kind of parent uses their last name to name their child? That's just lazy."

A scene where both Mario and Luigi are standing on a superstar winner's circle shows them saying, "I'm a superstar!"

---Death Battle---

The picture on the screen depicts two cartoon stallions with off-white coats and manes that resemble bacon colors. The one on the left has a red mustache.

"Under the guise of the Flim Flam brothers," introduces W, "Flim and Flam hold occupations as traveling entrepreneurs."

"You cannot tell me that their last name is Flim Flam," comments B skeptically.

"Actually, B, they don't have a last name."

"...what." Stats appear to the right of the screen as W continues talking.

"The Flim Flam brothers are unicorn ponies meaning they have magical abilities. They can use levitation as well as a sort of magical to electrical spell. They use this spell to power their mode of transport and their primary, technological production: the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000. This machine/vehicle is strong enough to topple fences and is taller than five ponies put together. It has a vacuum tube that can suck apples right off the trees and turn them into barrels of, quote unquote, "grade A cider"."

"That ain't how cider works where I come from."

"How fast this process takes depends on how much magic the brothers are willing to turn into electrical power. However, if the machine sucks in anything but top quality apples, such as rocks; debris; branches; and rotten apples, it will reject the items and slow down actual cider output."

"Unless they turn off quality control, which is the stupidest marketing tactic ever."

"And due to a recent mishap with just that tactic, their cider sales are no longer welcome in Ponyville."

"Still, I got to give them props for that addicting musical number."

This summary ends with the last stanza from the Flim Flam brothers' signature musical:

We're saying you've got opportunity
In this very community.
He's Flim. He's Flam.
We're the world famous Flim Flam brothers
Traveling salesponies nonpareil
Yeah!

---Death Battle---

W declares, "All right, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all."

B interrupts, "But first, a shout out to Murray's apple cider."

"B! At least wait and see who wins before celebrating."

"Aw... all right. It's time for a Death Battle!"

---Death Battle---

The setting appears to be an out-of-the-way apple orchard. The Italian plumbers are walking along minding their own business, when a sudden barrage of mechanical noises is heard. In comes a technological terror with lights, wires and a vacuum. It's powered by two unicorn stallions driving the thing. The Mario Brothers turn to face this mechanical mayhem and stand ready, though Luigi looks a bit more worried than ready.

"Let's-a go!" declares Mario.

"Okie dokie," agrees Luigi albeit reluctantly.

"FIGHT!"

The vacuum tube is surrounded in a green aura as it looms over a random apple tree. It begins sucking in the fruit. There is a green light accompanied by a "ding" as each good apple passes quality inspection, with one red light accompanied by a "bzzt" for the last apple which was apparently rotten. The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 launches a few barrels through the air. They are on direct flights toward the Mario Brothers' current positions.

The plumbers shake in worry briefly before pulling out their respective hammers and hold them in ready positions. As the barrels come with a foot, Mario and Luigi take respective swings and smash the barrels to pieces. The cider somehow spills away from the brothers. Six barrels meet a smashing conclusion.

The unicorns change tactics and start driving their vehicle forward toward the opponents.

"Woah!" yells Mario as he and Luigi start running away. They each pull out a red shroom and use it, making them larger and oddly enough faster. Though they are managing to stay ahead, the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 is gaining on them. The Mario brothers jump over a fence in their way. The machine smashes right on through it. The Mario brothers jump over a second fence and a third. The cider vehicle runs over those fences as well.

The vacuum continues to suck in apples from the trees it passes. Barrels of cider fly and crash. The Mario brothers now have to avoid tripping over fences, being crushed by barrels, and being run over by a machine with too long a name.

Mario pulls out a fire flower while Luigi pulls out an ice flower. As they run they burn and freeze various barrels heading their way while dodging the rest.

Mario and Luigi manage to pull out their cape feathers. They are granted yellow capes and they start to fly out of the vehicle's trampling and shooting range. Flim manages to overpower the vacuum so that it reaches a ridiculous distance. Mario gets sucked into the hose.

"Mario!" cries Luigi. He then sees Flam press the button that turns the machine's quality control off.

"Oh no!" Luigi exclaims. Then he wears an expression of anger. He pulls out a starman and flies toward the enemy at super speed.

"MARIOOOOO!" he shouts as a war cry. He collides with the cider vehicle. There's a huge explosion as pieces of the machine go flying in every direction. Thankfully, Mario is still in one piece and cape intact. He then pulls out his own starman and activates its power.

"Let's-a go!" he declares.

"Oh yeah," agrees Luigi with confidence. The Mario brothers rush over to the dazed Flim Flam brothers and release huge cans of whoop*ss. Their kick-boxing styles along with their invincibility quickly beat the unicorns into pulp. When the starman powers cease, Mario and Luigi step back. Broken bones and bleeding bruises are all that's left of the traveling salesponies nonpareil.

"Ya-hoo!" cheers Mario.

"Go Luigi. Go Luigi. Go Luigi," dances Luigi.

"K.O.!"

---Death Battle---

B does a spit-take with his cider before saying, "Wah ha ha ho! That was awesome!"

W professionally reflects, "The Mario brothers have much more combat experience under their belts and are quite used to dealing with dishonest enemies. Not to mention, any danger placed on family pushes them to fight even harder. Their versatile power-ups and physical strength quickly decided the result of this Death Battle."

"Looks like Flim and Flam just got flushed. Get it W?" Was that a joke on plumbers beating entrepreneurs? Wow...*facepalm*.

"The winners are the Mario brothers," concludes W. A picture of Mario and Luigi with their names underneath appears on screen.

---Death Battle---

Credits roll to the usual Death Battle closing theme.

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A/N: Well, nearing the 20th chapter already? To think this all started with a sort of joke chapter between Deadpool and Pinkie Pie. Man time flies. This particular work of fan fiction is probably going to be quiet for a while until I can confirm the details about the Season 3 antagonists.
Properties belong to their respective owners. I gain no profit from this. Thanks for reading.

Comments

[UltiXevoz]

Kratos from God of War vs Greed Spike

[leaderofstars]

we need to change up the losing streak.

pound and baby cakes vs the mario bros infants.

this way i think the ponies could win

[Cobra 1]

I have another suggestion though, well you haven't done Twilights brother, so pit him against wait for it...
ARTHUR FROM GHOULS AND GHOSTS!!!!!!

[shynight]

"What? What kind of parent uses their last name to name their child? That's just lazy."

Their parents were shroom addicts

[Ahrazell]

this reminds me of this only the flim and flam are wright bros and the mario bros lost this one

[The Dankest Meme]

Idea: The G-Man vs. Discord. The battle against Giygas was a little unfair, dontcha think?

[TundraStanza]

6081579 , Why do you think I titled that chapter "I don't think this is a good idea..."?