The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody)

by TundraStanza

Study Hard, Study Often

Advisory: Please make sure your "Formatting" is set to "Dark" before you continue reading. Thank you.

Intelligent minds are sometimes overlooked in favor of raw power. Those that are smart and wield power... they are the most dangerous to be reckoned with.
Properties in this chapter belong to Hasbro, ScrewAttack, and J. K. Rowling.
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The Moment No Pony was Waiting For

Season the Sixth

Hey, Twilight. What was the square root of that one number again?

Neeeeeeeerrrrrds!

Hey! That's... actually right on point. For today's combatants, we are pitting together two of the most studious individuals in their respective universes.

Hermione Granger from the school Hogwarts in the Harry Potter series.

And Moondancer, one of Twilight Sparkle's friends in Canterlot.

He's W and I'm B.

And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

~~~Death Battle~~~

Hermione Granger
-Half "muggle" human, half wizard**
-High intelligence, knowledge, and study habits
-Was more concerned about being expelled than dying
-Examples of subjects of study: Charms, mythological creatures, defense against the dark arts, potions, Quidditch
-Spell repertoire: Wingardium Leviosa (levitation), Petrificus Totalus (petrification), Stupefy (stun), Ridiculous (make one very specific species change into a funny look), Occulus Repero (fix broken glass), Luminous Maxima (bright light), Immobulous (slows movement to a crawl), Destructo (destroy objects), a fire spell
-Magical output is less than a full-blooded wizard
-Once had a time necklace, but then never used it again

In a world occupied by the magical, the mysterious, and the mythological, it's difficult for anyone who is associated with the non-magical to make a life for themselves. Hermione Granger goes through such a struggle every school year. Being born from one parent who was a wizard and one who was not, she had no hope of ever becoming the strongest wizard in the Hogwarts school. Instead, she focused primarily on her academia, learning as much about magic and everything related to it as she could.

I think she got a little too obsessed with her school life. I mean, she was more concerned about getting caught breaking the rules and getting kicked out than she was of what should probably be the more obvious danger: getting killed by monster trees, spiders, an evil snake creature, dragons, aquatic monsters, and various incarnations of an evil wizard that kept trying to kill her best friend Harry Potter.

Maybe she was a little more confident than normal people because of how varied her magical knowledge was. While not the most powerful, her charms have a range of effects from levitation to petrification, from object destruction to creating fire, and even stopping multiple airborne critters at once.

She fixes Harry's glasses on a regular basis without any superglue, and she can create bright light to chase away shade-loving vine monsters that would otherwise strangle the most afraid individuals caught in their grasp. Also, she can cast a few of her spells non-verbally.

She has an encyclopedic knowledge on mythological creatures such as werewolves and ghosts. She knows how to make various potions straight by the book. She even had a device that helped her attend multiple classes on time and helped her close a loop in the timeline, though she seems to have since stopped using that amulet entirely.

Just because she's a spell-caster, doesn't mean she's afraid to throw a punch. And she really gets pissed when stuck-up snobs point out her mixed blood heritage.

However, her hyper focus on her studies has made her rather impatient with other people. This has caused her to make some mistakes when she would have otherwise had a point.

She also seems to have a really hard time deciding if she wants to get in the pants of Harry or Ron.

Ugh, B! Why did you have to bring that up?

Because if I didn't, somebody else would!

"If you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you figure out another way to get us killed... or worse, expelled."

~~~Death Battle~~~

Moondancer
-Unicorn
-High intelligence, hunger for knowledge, and studying
-Was more concerned about studying than making friends
-Examples of subjects of study: Magic, science, pottery, literature, social studies...
-Magic arsenal: Levitation, spell bubble cancel, Hayscartes' method (enter/exit a book), illumination
-Took a long time to realize that friendship is magic
-Oddly timed a party to the day Twilight Sparkle went off to save the world from Nightmare Moon

The School for Gifted Unicorns is considered one of the highest caliber in which fillies of Canterlot can learn and practice magical arts... and science. *growl*

W, what's wrong?

Science and magic are not interchangeable! Good night!

W slams the door on his way out.

Several minutes later...

Sorry, my cybernetic arm was getting twitchy. It's better now.

O...kay then. In addition for providing an academic resume for Equestria's future Princess of Magic, the school had another pony that was just as buried in the textbooks: Moondancer.

In addition to basic levitation and illumination, Moondancer has learned a counter-spell than can nearly instantly shut off long-term spells cast by other magic users.

Then, she really tried to break the ice with Twilight Sparkle by throwing a party, but the lavender nerd decided she had to go out and save the world instead. What a jerk, right?

B, that's a terrible way to simplify Twilight's first accomplishment in the ways of social interaction and simultaneously defeating a major villain.

I was *eff*ing kidding!

Feeling dejected, Moondancer shrunk back into her metaphorical shell and spent most of her life between her house and the library. She sank herself into studying everything she possibly could and kept shrugging off the other ponies that considered her to be a friend.

She went through books like I go through beers.

Then you have a serious drinking problem.

Hey, it's only a problem when I run out!

Sometime after the first hiccup in a completely unrelated unicorn's evil plan-

Starlight Glimmer hides behind a menu.

- Twilight returned to Canterlot to try and reconnect with Moondancer. At first, Moondancer wanted nothing to do with the pony that left her. However, after offering to teach Moondancer a spell that allows her to actually enter a book, offering her old personal library, and allowing Moondancer to vent her frustrations at a re-do party, Twilight finally convinced her to give friendship yet another chance. Fences were amended, and Moondancer opened up to her old companions.

That's great and all, but what does any of this have to do with kicking somebody's butt in a fight?

Moondancer's ability to absorb information and re-apply it is similar to the rate that Twilight was capable of learning things. In theory, if their roles were reversed, it's possible that Moondancer could have become as strong and versatile in magic as Twilight is now.

So many what-ifs... it makes my head hurt just thinking about the possibilities.

"Look, I already told you! The last thing I need is a bunch of ridiculous friend-making keeping me from studying."

~~~Death Battle~~~

Alright, the combatants are set. Let's settle this debate once and for all.

It's time for a Death Battle!

~~~Death Battle~~~

The camera pans over a large shot of Canterlot City. After zooming in a few times, the visual finds a library and goes inside. A few ponies shush whoever is carrying the camera before resuming their reading. At one end, we find a yellow unicorn wearing a black wool sweater and a pair of glasses.

She magically scribbles a few things down with her quill pen. She then sets the quill down and shuts her current book. She levitates the book over to a shelf where it belongs and applies her magic to the next book that's a different color than its surrounding neighbors. But as she does so, a hand reaches out and grabs the same hardback.

This hand belongs to a girl with long hair that curls down either of her shoulders. She wears a uniform, unfamiliar to the pony. They glare at each other with squinted eyes. Other patrons of the library look at the two of them in horror. They quickly dash off the screen, leaving the place devoid of life save for the two combatants and the librarian.

"FIGHT!"

"Give me that book!" yells Moondancer as her horn glows brightly.

The book in Hermione's grasp glows in the same color. It jerks around in place, startling the girl. The book smacks her upside the head three times, forcing her to let go and tumble along the floor. Moondancer scoffs as she levitates the book within a hoof's reach. She adjusts her glasses while lifting her nose.

Hermione reaches into her pocket and pulls out a wand. She flicks it and a burst of magic erupts from the tip. The burst collides with the floating book, causing the spine to break and the pages to scatter. Moondancer gasps at such a lack of literary love. The unicorn growls, grabs a ladder with her magic, and chucks it.

The wizard ducks while performing a swish and flick with her wrist. The incoming ladder floats upward a few inches, passing harmlessly overhead. Hermione does three quick hammering motions with her wand, shooting spells at her opponent. Moondancer lights up her horn and shoots three small spells of her own. The airborne magical bursts collide with each other in the air, canceling each other out.

Moondancer gallops away around one side of the rows of books. Hermione runs after her, shoes echoing on the floor. Moondancer looks around frantically, for anything that might help her out. Books are pulled from their shelves by her magic and she speed-reads while galloping. Pages flip wildly before their respective book is tossed aside. One book smacks the incoming Hermione in the face, forcing her to halt for a moment to pull said book off and massage her head with the opposite hand.

As the camera turns back to the unicorn, she finds herself in front of a giant bookshelf labeled "Encyclopedia". She looks left and right, wondering what to do. After mulling it over for a second, she happily brightens up and her horn glows. The magic surrounds herself and one of the books on the shelf.

Hermione comes around the corner to find the Encyclopedia section. However, she doesn't see the unicorn anywhere. She raises her brow slightly and walks slowly past the shelf. A random book glows, shakes around, and flies at the back of her head. She whirls around to look, but there's no one there. She turns away slowly.

Another volume smacks Hermione in the ear. She grunts and stares at the bookshelf carefully. Her eyes scan the area top to bottom. A couple of the books on a middle shelf wobble slightly. The camera effect puts widescreen bars around Hermione's squint before immediately zooming out. She points her wand and fires a spell.

That entire shelf ignites in flames. Something sounds like Moondancer yelping before a unicorn literally jumps out of one of the shaking books. Her horn glows, pulling out almost the rest of the shelf's contents and throwing them outward. It looks like several flaming rectangles are closing in on Granger's position.

"Immobulus!"

A spell erupts from Hermione's wand. All of the flying, burning books slow down to the point where they're barely moving at all. Moondancer tries to cast another small blast at the widespread spell. Hermione uses this same time to run from her current position. By the time the immobilizing spell is canceled by Moondancer's blast, the burning books all end up hitting nothing but air... until they slam into the marble-tiled floor and fizzle out.

Hermione casts another spell that looks like it's growing out of her wand. The sound editor adds a flash bang grenade's explosion as light fills the screen. Moondancer grunts, covering her eyes with a hoof too late. After the light clears, she sets her hoof down and shakes her head. Her vision is a little blurry from the light blast.

"Occulus Destructo!" Hermione's spell flashes instantly without a visible path.

The lenses in Moondancer's glasses shatter and the transparent debris flies mostly into her eyes. She screams loudly, clawing fruitlessly with her hooves to get it out.

"Petrificus Totalus!"

The next spell freezes Moondancer up. She falls forward at a clunking angle.

"Wingardium Levi-o-sa!"

Hermione floats the statue-esque pony up a few feet.

"Stupefy!"

The petrified unicorn flies backward into a low-hanging light. Her spine cracks at a painful angle, and her neck snaps upon the quick stop. Moondancer's frozen, lifeless body falls to the floor.

Hermione picks up a book she was looking for and goes over to the front desk. The librarian, however, is shaking like a leaf and refuses to look at her. Hermione shrugs and flips open her book as she walks out the door.

"K.O.!"

~~~Death Battle~~~

Dang, Granger! You're scary!

Hermione may not be a chosen hero, but she's far more knowledgeable and skilled than the average wizard at Hogwarts. Her options for both offensive and defensive spells are greatly varied compared to what Moondancer has available.

Even though she may have looked like Twilight Sparkle, Moondancer didn't have the years of friendship pumping that magic back through her to give her support. Sure, she can lift an entire alicorn over her head when she's pissed off, but she doesn't have any experience using lethal force.

In contrast, Hermione has been trained to duel before and her spell versatility allowed her to pull off plenty of tricks to catch other people off guard.

Moondancer's spells are best suited for a game of keep-away. Even the Haycartes' method of going in and out of books wouldn't provide much beyond avoiding attacks for a few seconds. But Hermione's fire spell could up and destroy any title the unicorn could try to escape into.

Plus, Hermione can fight up close and personal should her magic be unavailable, while Moondancer doesn't really have a method of getting around an enemy's ability to counter spells.

Moondancer lost by an eyeful.

The winner is Hermione Granger.

~~~Death Battle~~~

Next time on Death Battle...

A suit of armor clangs its boots against the ground. Shade hides the face from view. It lifts a glove. A glowing, blue projectile flies through the sky, narrowly missing the camera. A stream of seven colors races toward the armor.

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Author's Note:

Please forgive me for any misspelled Harry Potter spells. I was going mostly by ear.
**I've been informed that Hermione's parents are actually both "Muggles" who happen to be dentists. I apologize for the confusion.

Comments

[Dirty Bit]

Undyne? Nice...

[Tetsuya Kintame]

A little bit of a correction right out the gate here, both of Hermione's parents are Muggles. Mr. and Mrs. Grangers are dentists.

[denneylaw]

YAS!! Cant wait!!!

[leslie2000]

Mordecai and Rigby vs The Dazzlings

[leslie2000]

7834855
Jason Todd vs Sunset Shimmer (I kinda think that these two are similar in a way they didn't start out as villains they were good but as they grow they both went down dark paths which lead them to become villains with the exception that Jason Todd became a anti-hero)