The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody)

by TundraStanza

Anthropomorphic Battle of the Bands

Please make sure that your "Formatting" is set to "Dark", not "Light". Thank you.

A/N: No, it wasn't a stupid idea. I just wasn't sure how to execute it at the time.
Properties in this chapter belong to Hasbro, ScrewAttack, and DIC Productions L.P.
---

The Moment No Pony was Waiting For

Season 3

E 16

Before Robotnik from Sonic Shorts blows up another business, let's watch the forgotten show's heroes.

What's up with the booming idea that music can be used as a weapon?

Well, vibrations can be lethal when played at the right concentration. In fact, concentrated 2 dB noise has been used by military organizations to control the very breathing patterns of their enemies in order to force them to surrender.

Dark... the exact opposite of what music in fictional TV and movies are about. Case and point is the trio of Sonic Underground.

And the sirens, otherwise known as the Dazzlings.

He's W and I'm B.

And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

---Death Battle---

The Dazzlings
-Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, and Sonata Dusk
-Three singers, originally sirens
-Manipulative, arrogant, and seductive
-Magical pendants: absorb negative energy from fights and quarrels; strengthen the power of their voices
-Invasive of personal space with their fingers
-Unexplored conflict between Aria and Adagio's leadership
-Sonata has moments of being uninformed or literal

"I think you're the worst, Sonata."

"Oh, yeah? Well, I think you're-"

"I'll tell you one thing: Being stuck with you two isn't making this world any more bearable."

Over a thousand years ago-

And here we go.

... the sirens lived in Equestria, charming ponies with their song. To fuel this power, they had to feed on the negativity found whenever ponies argued or bickered.

So like... internet trolls?

And the more negative energy they fed upon, the stronger their powers through song became. Starswirl the Bearded found a way to cast the sirens out into another world, hoping that their powers would be neutralized.

Unfortunately, that other world happened to be the one filled with the ugliest color palettes of people I have ever seen. Seriously, some of those folks look like they've got whole new kinds of skin conditions.

Despite Starswirl's hope, the sirens actually kept their powers. They were forced to remain under cover, slowly and carefully absorbing negative energy from the occasional bickering between cafe customers.

Then that movie happened and drew their attention toward Equestrian magic. But they didn't actually arrive at Canterlot High until after the princess got an eyesore of a castle. Where they were between Twilight's visits to this human world, nobody knows. Geez, it's like BlazBlue plot holes all over again.

Anyway, they managed to convince the school to change their musical showcase into a battle of the bands. The conflicts that arose between all the students gave them even more power to the point that they were able to feed off of the main protagonists' Equestrian magic.

Doing so let them transform into pseudo-versions of their true selves, complete with fin-wings, glowing red eyes, and Scott Pilgrim's musical beast summoning abilities.

At full power, their song can turn any normal human into a mindless zombie under their control and fully willing to adore them.

Ugh, their motivation makes them sound like man children.

But, they're girls.

Yeah, so?

*ahem* While their powers do seem to give shame to the enemies of Odysseus, they are not without weaknesses. Should their pendants be damaged and/or removed, their voices become so horrid that nobody wants to hear them.

Like modern pop stars without the autotune.

Also, there seems to be an uncertain amount of internal tension between the three members of the Dazzlings. Aria shoulders a desire to be the leader, yet Adagio is very forceful in maintaining her lead singer position. Also, Sonata Dusk is... um...

... a complete idiot.

Despite these childish flaws, they've somehow managed to survive and stay together for over a millennium.

But if Starswirl chucked them into the other world so many years ago, how come they still look like teenagers?

No one knows.

... Maybe we should have made them fight Ragna instead.

Another time perhaps.

"Told you someone would give them a shove."

"She didn't shove them. She pulled a lever."

"Go back to sleep, Sonata."

---Death Battle---

Sonic Underground
-Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonia, and Manic
-Guitarist, keyboardist, and drummer
-Sonic's unique abilities: Hypersonic speeds, spin dash
-Manic's abilities: Sneaking, pickpocketing, and lock-picking; drumming creates earthquakes
-Sonia's unique abilities: superhuman strength, memory, and cyclone attack
-Powerful medallions: transform into instruments, shoot lasers, and gain power when played in harmony
-Sonic is hydrophobic; Sonia hates getting dirty; Manic is not supernatural aside from his medallion

"For the prophecy to be fulfilled, I had to give up... my babies."

I'm-a let you finish, but 1999 rocked!

Dr. Robotnik was on a quest to take over the planet of Mobius and turn everything and everyone into robots. The rightful Queen Aleena received a vision from this reptile... anteater... thing. In that vision, she and her children would become the Council of Four and overthrow Robotnik. In order to preserve the dynasty, she hid her children away to protect them from Robotnik's clutches.

Wait, that doesn't make any sense. How can you keep an eye on your children if you give them away to three separate classes of society?

In any case, the three anthro hedgehogs Sonic, Sonia, and Manic grew up a little before finding out about the prophecy themselves. Together, they decided to go on a quest to traverse Mobius and find Aleena.

It's a little harder than it sounds when you add in Robotnik's two lackeys Scratch and Grounder- er, I mean Sleet and Dingo. They're constantly pursuing the hedgehog triplets to gag, bag, and stop the prophecy from coming true.

Fortunately, Aleena's children are anything but helpless. As we've said before, Sonic is the fastest thing alive and retains his usual high speed, energy, and spin attacks.

The girl Sonia has studied and performed gymnastics and karate. She has superhuman strength, a photographic memory, and does a great impression of the Tasmanian Devil's tornado spin.

Manic is a master thief and lock-pick. While his tendencies to steal are looked down upon by his siblings, they have proven useful more than once.

All three of the hedgehogs wear shiny bling that can pop out and transform into ridiculously colored instruments that can shoot laser beams.

Sonic is the lead vocalist and guitar player. Sonia plays a keyboard that can shoot pink mist when the notes are played. Manic's drum set can create earthquakes and was even said to be the strongest of the three instrumental weapons by the Oracle. It sort of acts as compensation for his lack of superpowers.

But the powerless green hedgehog isn't alone. Sonia is a bit prissy, tries to avoid dirt, and is constantly flirting with the next male character introduced each week.

And like most of his iterations, Sonic is extremely paranoid when it comes to water due to his lack of swimming capabilities.

And let's not forget their biggest weakness of all time: cancellation.

Due to its low popularity and a decision by the network, Sonic Underground never did find their mother and become that Council of Four.

Another time perhaps, W. Another time perhaps.

~(Someday)
No more dark clouds above
(Someday)
United in the light of love
(Someday)
The story can only end one way
We'll be together someday~

---Death Battle---

All right, the combatants are set. Let's settle this debate once and for all.

It's time for a Death Battle!

---Death Battle---

The camera pans in on a generic diner. You can tell by the blinking neon lights it has that spell out the word. It's even got a backwards 'R' like all of the classics. Transitioning inside the place, the audience gets a good look at the runaway heroes. The waitress shows up, and you can just barely hear B's whistle somewhere in the distance.

"Two chili dogs with all the fixings," the waitress says sweetly, "Enjoy!"

The blue-haired hero licks his lips before chowing down.

"And just how exactly were you planning on paying for this?" wonders the magenta hero.

"Don't worry, Sis, I got this," insists the green one as he passes some bills with some suspiciously large numbers considering their recent outgoings. The waitress blows a kiss before going about her way.

Sonia whispers harshly, "And just where did you get those?"

"Oh, nowhere," said Manic, dodging the question. He then coughs, "The register."

Sonia puts a hand against her hip. "What am I going to do with you?" She turns to her other brother. "And weren't you the one complaining about us not moving fast enough?"

But his reply is muffled by the mess currently being devoured in his mouth.

Sonia crosses her arms and mutters, "This is why I need to find some female friends."

Suddenly, the joint's door slams open. This is accompanied by three voices singing a single vowel. The multiple occupants turn their heads to see what's singing that song. Three oversized hairstyles attached to toothpick-thin girls stroll in while continuing their intro tune.

The girls start walking past the tables. As they do, they gently stroke their fingers over the heads of the customers. While they get some strange looks, nobody seems to have the nerve to speak out against the bad touches. However...

"How can you not care about me?"

Between bites, Sonic turns at the random outburst.

"What? I've always done everything for you!"

The two lackluster customers seem to be having a little squabble. As the singing trio keeps walking through the diner, more small arguments of similar hostility erupt. Manic and Sonia look around in bewilderment.

"What's going on?" asks Manic over the rabble. "Everyone was pretty cool just a second ago."

"This is definitely not cool anymore," agrees Sonia.

Sonic swallows a big bite before pointing out his finger. "And it looks like those girls have something to do with the talk heating up."

"Well, if their song is what's causing such an uproar..." Sonia reaches toward her medallion instinctively.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" asks Manic rhetorically. He too starts tapping his medallion.

"All right!" Sonic shouts ecstatically as he rapidly rubs his medallion. "This is happening!"

Conveniently, the two teams end up on slightly raised platform stages on either side of the diner. The medallions pop out in flashes of light. In Sonic's hands, a guitar that resembles the head of a purple hedgehog appears. A large keyboard lands in front of Sonia. Manic gets surrounded by several large yellow rings with taut white tops. Two double cymbals stand amidst the drums.

"Rock on!"

Sonia grabs a floating microphone in front of her as Manic starts smacking the drums. Sonic strums a steady beat on the three lines that make up his music-powered guitar. All the while, Sonia sings her heart out and her brothers add a few lines of harmony.

~Be part of the solution

No reason for losing

Just be sure you're not

Part of the problem~

The Dazzlings get a bit shaken up by the restaurant wobbling. Yet, they quickly regain their balance and sing even more precisely than they were before. There's an electronic vibe going through despite the sirens' lack of instrumentation.

~Let's have a battle

Yeah, we're all in it

Let's have a battle

Battle of the bands~

On Sonia's count, Manic and Sonic pick up their respective beats. The intensity of the atmosphere rises. Voices meld with the pumping instrumental. Lasers fire from the guitar and keyboard, forcing the Dazzlings to duck for cover.

~Never give up the fight!~

But just as it seems the hedgehogs are picking up wind, the sirens draw in a large pool of energy in the form of green smoke. Their pendants glow bright red. The light seems to affect their very clothes. Adagio smirks as Aria and Sonata pick up the backup vocals.

~We will be adored. Tell us that you want us

We won't be ignored. It's time for our reward

Now you need us! Come and heed us!

Nothing can stop us now!~

The Dazzlings' voices actually push back some of the laser fire. One of Manic's drum earthquakes gets stopped before it reaches the enemy. Suddenly, all three of the instruments fizzle, flash, and return to their medallion form.

"Uh, oh! We used up too much power with that last chorus!" exclaims Sonia.

"What do we do now?" asks Manic with his hands held out, palm-side up.

"Rush 'em!" Sonic shouts as he runs forth at his blue blur speed.

Astral projections of the sirens' true forms fly forth from their pendants. Adagio sings a resonating note, and the yellow dragon-seahorse does the same. Red rings of sound fly forth and collide with the speedy hedgehog. Sonic holds up his arms as he tries to keep running. But ultimately, he gets pushed back flying. He lands face-first against the floor. Seeing their brother in trouble, Manic and Sonia try an advance of their own.

"Ha-yah!" Sonia kicks up a table before throwing the whole thing.

The blue and purple dragon-seahorses join add their voices to the mix. Somewhere in the background, a harsh guitar solo multiplies the darkness of the atmosphere. The flying table falls short of its target. Additionally, the sound waves push all three hedgehogs against the far wall of the diner. Said wall actually crumbles, and the rubble crushes the siblings underneath.

"~Now that you're under our spell~"

Adagio laughs creepily.

---Death Battle---

I guess the 80s magic kind of dwindled down as we got to the late 90s.

The underground rock band had incredible powers and their teamwork has helped them tackle many odds over the months. But none were quite as intimidating as the threat that the sirens held.

Hell, they don't even have Equestrian magic to protect them from the sirens' songs. So if the Dazzlings wanted to, they could have just up and manipulated them right from the start.

And unlike the sirens, Sonic Underground's musical power has limits and needs time to recharge in between large-scale performances. Even Sonic's natural speed could not overcome an enemy that could see him coming.

Sonic Underground just couldn't dig deep enough.

The winning team is the Dazzlings.

---Death Battle---

Next time on Death Battle...

"Ah ha ha ha ha! AH ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

Vs.

"Coronation, Starscream? This is bad comedy."

Author's Note:

You know, I saw Arrell and Yahshee analyze two big-name wastelanders duking it out. That got me thinking, so I'm going to do something on a similar scale. Granted, it's not going to be the next battle and it probably won't be finished before the year's end. Are you paying attention, Dirty Bit? It will not be the next battle. But I will do my utmost to make this happen.
Hint toward the future:
"Hello, pretty pony! I'm looking for my mom. Have you seen her?"

Vs.

"Designation: Starmare... of the Hizai."

Comments

[ShadowLDrago]

G1 Galvatron? YAY! And, possibly Nightmare Moon.

[Dirty Bit]

I can't tell if you're hinting me towards the next battle or jabbing me for my lack of updating

Either way, this chapter was good

Looking forward to the next fight.

[TundraStanza]

5565312 , Sorry, it's just that when I make "Coming at later date" announcements, your name tends to be next to the comment that thinks that it's the very next one and I feel compelled to reply, "No, it's not the next one."
I probably should have asked you ahead of time if I could make that lighthearted jab. I'll try to keep my humor self-contained next time.

[Dirty Bit]

5565413 No need to fret; even I'm aware of my poor updating time as of late.

Reality and Writer's Block don't mix.

[denneylaw]

5565413 wow. I was thinking you weren't gonna do it for a while, but thank you. And next time I'll make sure any ideas i pm are actually good before i send them.