The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody)

by TundraStanza

Lightning Round: Fighting Game Genre

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Burst Lightning Round!

Here, all the fights are done without waiting for analysis.

All fighters!

All action!

No research!

Lightning Round!

Start the clock and... go!

---

---Small Packages---

Zipporwhill & Ripley (MLP: FiM) vs. Pom & Woof, Ruff, Tuft & Puff (Them's Fightin' Herds)

A large roster shows up on screen. Two different colored lights highlight some icons before racing around the various images. One lands on a pale cartoon face with braces on its teeth and a plastic crown on their head. The other glowing shape highlights an image of a more frightened cartoon character. A "Start" button is pressed and the screen pixelates out of sight.

When light returns, the setting is a virtual park with small, grassy hills and a tree in the background. A pegasus filly darts around the view with a dog about as large as she is. Her wings are beating similarly to that of a hummingbird. The poor, big puppy is dizzy with spinning stars drawn over his head.

Off to the side, a much smaller puppy is dragging its owner's limb in its teeth. This limb belongs to a shaking ewe. She appears to be trying to backpedal with her hind legs, but she is losing this short tug-of-war. Once she is sufficiently all the way on screen, the little dog stops tugging and turns around. He looks way more eager to start this showdown than his owner.

Get ready!

Stampede!

Pom sighs and twirls the little flops on top of her head. The spinning miraculously lifts the ewe off the ground quite a bit. She then proceeds to flail at the air with all of her hooves. Zipporwhill and Ripley glance at each other in confusion before they stare silently at the ewe.

The young sheep pants in exhaustion and lands quietly on the grass. She turns around and calls, "Heel, boy!"

Her little dog darts in their direction. Out of nowhere, three other dogs also dash across the park. Zipporwhill screams as these three new dogs bite her hooves and scratch at her mane. Ripley growls before barking and swatting his paws at the tiny dogs. But in his efforts, two of Pom's dogs focus their biting and scratching at him.

Zipporwhill flies around wildly, trying to shake off the dog biting her mane. She suddenly gets an idea light bulb and digs her hoof through an inventory. She pulls out Ripley's fetching stick and tosses it in an arc. The dog in her mane stops what he's doing and runs after the stick. All of the rest of the dogs also go chasing the stick.

"Uh-oh..." Pom shivers with no dogs left to aid her. She covers her head and lies down. "Please make it quick and painless."

Zipporwhill's wings beat quickly as she hovers over her opponent(?). "What are you talking about?"

"I've already been forced to fight an ice-skating reindeer, a hyperactive llama, and a fleecing dragon-horse!" Pom cries out. "Why can't I just leave all of this fighting behind?!"

The pegasus filly lands on all fours. She adjusts her glasses before reaching out a hoof. "I don't want to fight you."

"But you have to for the keys, right?" Pom peeks from under her front hooves.

"The what?" Zipporwhill tilts her head. An illustrated question mark briefly turns over her.

"You mean... you're not going to juggle me in an infinite combo?" Pom stands up slowly on her shaking hooves.

"I see no reason to do whatever it is you just said." Zipporwhill shakes her head and smiles.

Ripley comes back with the stick. Only one of Pom's dogs comes back and it is hanging from the stick by its own teeth. The filly and the ewe gently chuckle at the sight. Ripley plops the stick onto the ground. Woof tumbles head-over-tail before panting happily in front of the ewe.

Zipporwhill picks up the stick and tosses it out of view of the cameras again. Ripley chases after the stick. Woof starts to follow, but then stops. The tiny dog's ears perk upright while it sniffs the air. Woof scampers over, grab's Pom's hoof with his teeth, and pulls her away.

"No, no, no! Not again!" Pom tries to backpedal, but fails to stop her dog's pull.

Zipporwhill watches the ewe and her dog leave, unsure how to respond. Ripley comes back and drops the stick in front of her. He pants in satisfaction, not really understanding where the ewe is going either.

Fight over!

Ladies and gentlemen, we have... a tie!

---

---"Attack Plants" vs. "Piranha Plant"---

(Equestria Girls: Friendship Games vs. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate)

A necklace akin to a compact mirror opens up. It unleashes magic jolts that open portals all over an outdoor stadium. Many of these portals allow vines with carnivorous bulbs to hiss and screech through. But one of these portals has a slightly different passenger. This plant has a red and white face with a mouth. It jumps around, despite being planted in a flower pot.

3! 2! 1!

Go!

The potted Piranha Plant jumps around, narrowly avoiding several attack plants chomping at the places where it was. Piranha turns its mouth around and spits out three fire balls behind itself. One of the attack plants shrivels up, but the rest simply screech louder. Piranha gawks before hopping further along its way.

Portals open at fixed points in the sky, letting in some more carnivorous vines. Piranha takes a breath before it unleashes some spike-balls up. It knocks the bulbs of the attack plants around, creating some dizzy stars to spin around the mouths. Piranha rolls under a couple other vines that dart at its position.

An entire wall appears, composed of the ravenous attack plants. Piranha grunts and its face appears to clench tightly. A couple thorny leaves grow out of the sides of its stem. It flails these razor-sharp leaves around itself as it hops forward. With a sound similar to a weed-whacker, the wall of attack plants falls away at Piranha's slashing motions.

After getting through the wall of enemy, Piranha looks around and sees something in the distance. There appears to be a lavender compact mirror sitting open. Magical sparks dance along its edge, and occasionally lash out as bolts. Each bolt appears to open a new portal with more attack plants.

Piranha smiles with an open mouth, exhaling a sound of realization. It hops toward the compact with haste. One of the attack plants shoots out of a portal. Piranha gasps as the attack plant shatters its flower pot. It raises one of its thorny leaves toward the compact, reaching and shaking.

Another attack plant lashes its maw around Piranha's stem. The red, sentient plant cries out in worry. From its point of view, the compact is so close. Yet, the enemy is forcing it to slide away. After a few struggling noises, Piranha spits out a spike-ball in an upward arc and a fire ball in a sideways arc.

Within a second, the spike-ball falls upon the fire ball, igniting and heating itself up. This new combination ball bounces along, burning some of the grass as it rolls. As the attack plants bite at Piranha, pulling it further under the brush, the burning spike-ball crashes atop the compact.

A magical wave seems to draw back into the compact. The portals around the stadium shrink and close up. With their window gone, the attack plants retreat to their side. It looks like the stadium is clear, except for the patches of displaced dirt and scorch marks.

A beaten and bruised Piranha Plant pants for breath before exhaling a deep sigh.

Game!

This round's winner is... Piranha Plant!

---

---The Shape of a Warrior---

Thorax (MLP: FiM) vs. Ditto (Pokemon)

A red-and-white sphere slowly spins over itself. Based on the camera's view, this ball is falling all the way down to a planet's surface. Is it going to Ponyville? Will it fall onto Canterlot? Perhaps, it is going to dragons' lands or Griffonstone. Hold that thought.

The picture transitions to a mostly green, yet multi-colored changeling. He is sitting on a throne when his ears perk up. He squints his eyes at the sky. What he sees, is a ball hurtling toward his general direction. Luckily, this sphere lands several feet away, but it still bounces on the floor of his throne room.

Before this changeling can ask what it is, the ball pops open and releases a bluish-white light. This light configures itself into a light purple, gelatinous blob. This blob appears to have a small smile for a mouth and two, pin-sized points for eyes.

"Ditto," chirps the blob.

"Hmm, I've got a bad feeling about this." The changeling steps down from the throne seat and stands tall on all fours.

A wild enemy has appeared!

Battle!

Ditto smirks as its gelatinous body glows in white. Its shapeless outline shifts around into some more distinct features. Within a few seconds, it looks pretty close to an exact mirror of its opponent. Thorax blinks and sighs.

He looks around. "Pharynx, is this one of your jokes again?"

"No," replies a nearby moss-covered rock before it transfigures into the older changeling. "That's a real intruder."

"Well, aren't you going to do something about it, Commander?" Thorax looks with exasperation at his brother.

"It was in your throne room first, Your Highness." Pharynx sticks out his tongue. "Learn to stop being a daffodil and protect your own hive once in a while." This changeling sits on his rump to watch.

"Ugh, alright! I will!" Thorax turns back to face his doppelganger. "Um... this is your first and only warning, imposter! Leave!"

"Ditto," chirps the Thorax look-alike.

Thorax tilts his head. "I'm sorry. Say that again?"

"Ditto." The Thorax copy tilts its head in the opposite direction.

"What does that mean?" Thorax shakes his head slowly.

"I think he's telling you to back up your words with action." Pharynx moves a front hoof around.

"How do you figure?" Thorax glances at his brother.

"Well, just look at him." Pharynx points both of his front hooves.

The copy of Thorax bends its legs slightly. It hoofs the ground a bit, as if preparing to charge. It squints its currently purple eyes in determination. It flares its wings briefly.

"Ah, that's... probably a likely meaning," admits Thorax.

The royal changeling gets into a similar ready stance. Ditto gallops forward first. Thorax flies up a little before diving toward the enemy. Ditto gasps in surprise at the flight. As soon as they get close, their orange horns slam into each other. Both changeling and changeling copy push for ground.

Thorax goes through a front-flip, sending his look-alike barreling onto its back. In a flash of bluish-green fire, Thorax alters shape into a grizzly bear. He slams his paws into the Thorax copy's neck. Ditto coughs as it tries to blindly wave its hooves around. Thorax the bear holds on, grunting with each impact with the enemy's hooves.

After about ten desperate hoof strikes, the Thorax copy slumps limply against the floor. It glows in white and returns to its original blob form. The black beads for eyes are currently X-shaped. Thorax exhales and transfigures back to his default changeling self.

Defeated!

"Heads up!" calls Pharynx.

Thorax quickly steps to the side. The red-and-white sphere from earlier flies in an arc and hits Ditto. The Pokemon is pulled back into the orb as a stream of red light. This ball lands on the ground and shakes a few times before letting out a "ting".

"That's rather convenient," comments Thorax.

Pharynx picks up the ball and grins. "So, Thorax... why were you hitting yourself?"

"Oh, hush." Thorax shakes his head and trots away.

This lightning round victory goes to... Thorax!

---

Author's Note:

-If I listen closely to their in-show/in-game lines, Zipporwhill and Pom's voices sound like they were going for a similar tone of delivery.

-I know the big DLC names for Smash Bros. that pushed the envelope were Persona 5's Joker and Banjoo-Kazooie from their titled series. But... I've been sitting on an idea for the plant enemies of the Mario series. Piranha Plant's inclusion in the DLC seemed as good an excuse as any.

-I know I was kind of pushing the genre with Pokemon, but I didn't really have a better place to put it at the time. In a tangent, I vaguely recall that Ditto's stats are pretty terrible without trainer input. Plus, Thorax doesn't know any Pokemon moves. No moves means no copies for Ditto to use. Thus, its only option is to Struggle, hurting itself more than Thorax while it tries to fight.

Comments

[Dirty Bit]

Pharynx, though

[DockingWater17]

I love how the opening and ending lines match those of the game that the non-MLP character is from.

[leslie2000]

9537602
Gaige (From Borderlands 2) Vs Rainbine

Or Epic Scout (From Rise of The Epic Scout and The Fight for Sawmill) Vs Rainbine

Musicout (Originally from JonHGot) Vs Fluttershout from what I know Musicout is a TF2 Freak Scout and his power is based on loud music/loud noises as he played his guitar loudly it made a Heavy's head explode and he can make a high pitch screeching sound which knocked out an Engineer I think he was made to be a rival to Fluttershout