The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody)

by TundraStanza

Never Ending Entropy

Please make sure that little setting in the upper right reads "Dark" not "Light". Thank you.

A/N: There seems to be a trend of wanting more Discord in the comments. *Sigh* I told myself I wasn't going to do any more fights with him. Yet, this is how it has to be I guess. Forgive me if I withhold my enthusiasm.
Properties belong to Hasbro, Screw Attack, and Marvel Comics.
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The Moment No Pony was Waiting For
Season 2
(3)

Ho boy! I'd be lying if I said I knew for sure what developments this battle will bring.

GLaDOS, Kefka, Sheogorath, Fawful, and Psycho Mantis grace your screen with their presence.

I guess it's true what Erasmus said. Everyone has some degree of insanity. But there are some that have a really high degree of it.

Today, we're pitting two of the craziest, chaotic, and possibly insane characters that have ever graced the public's attention.

Shuma-Gorath, the god of chaos in the Marvel universe.

And Discord, the master of chaos in the Equestrian universe.

He's W and I'm B.

And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

---Death Battle---

Shuma-Gorath
-Demon
-"He who sleeps but shall awake"
-Lord of Chaos
-Immortality and mysticism
-Takes a tentacular form
-Superhuman strength and resilience

Several millions of years ago, the Class Three demon Shuma-Gorath came to Earth along with the rest of his race "The Old Ones".

Over the course of several millenia, many tried to contain or slay him like the sorcerer Sise-Neg, the god Crom, Conan the barbarian, and especially Dr. Strange. But, time after time, he came back to try to take over the world.

The Lord of Chaos usually takes the form of an eyeball with flexible, hard-hitting tentacles. His powers of mysticism give him strong projectile attacks like the Mystic Ray and the Mystic Stare.

He can curl up and roll over his opponent as a spike-ball and his Hyper Mystic Smash shoots out smaller versions of those spike-balls from within himself.

But even that pales in comparison to Shuma-Gorath's ultimate attack. By ensnaring his opponent inside a bubble made of his entire body, he traps them in the Chaos Dimension and destroys them with a devastating tornado.

Shuma-Gorath is an immortal entity. His only notable defeats were through banishment to alternate dimensions like the cancerverse. The only weapon that can potentially kill him is the Spear of Destiny which was the same spear that was used to pierce the skin of Jesus after he died on the cross.

Wow, B. I didn't know you studied theological history.

There are a lot of things about me that you don't know, W.

Eh, fair enough.

"You are an embarrassment to demons everywhere."

---Death Battle---

Discord
-Draconequus
-Master of Chaos and Disharmony
-Shares similar characteristics with "Q"
-Can manipulate reality almost effortlessly
-Has been sealed in stone by the Elements of Harmony twice
-Signature chaos manipulation: cotton candy clouds filled with chocolate milk rain

At first glance, Discord doesn't really seem like an intimidating villain.

That's a pretty d**n accurate glance, since all he ever does is float around laughing his head off.

However, his discombobulated appearance hides a deeper intellect that's perfect for disrupting the natural harmony of Equestria. Discord is a draconequus, a creature composed of body parts of a dragon, a horse, and several other creatures.

This lord of chaos takes a page straight out of Q's script in personality, cryptic nonsense, and reality bending.

While his mastery over the power of chaos seems virtually limitless, he tends to stick around a few constants. His favorite warping of the natural order seems to be creating clouds made of cotton candy that rain chocolate milk.

But he'll never know what that tastes like since he can only drink solid glass.

He takes pleasure in removing the color spectrum from ponies and as a result removes their positive qualities.

He's got unbound teleportation and powers that imitate no_clip, gmode, and a day-night light switch. Basically, anything you can imagine, he can do.

Despite his vast power, he does have a few drawbacks. He almost never takes combat situations seriously and his overconfidence has led to him being trapped in suspended animation by the Elements of Harmony... twice.

Yeah, great job putting those necklaces and tiara right into the enemy's possession.

In spite of his flaws, Discord's laid-back personality and intelligent insanity will always leave the opposition guessing.

Expect the unexpected.

"Discord rules, Celestia drools."

---Death Battle---

All right, the combatants are set. Let's settle this debate once and for all.

It's time for a Death Battle!

---Death Battle---

On some abandoned street in a ruined city grounds is where we find the setting of today's match. A green, slimy entity oozes into the view of the camera before lifting itself on pointed tentacles. A purple eye opens in the center of this thing.

"Who dares to challenge the mighty Shuma-Gorath?"

A different voice guffaws as a flash of light reveals the second challenger. With a deer antler, goat horn, and red pupils in two unevenly shaped yellow eyes, there's no doubt that this is the draconequus that terrorized Equestria in the past.

"Twists and turns are my master plan. Try and beat me if you can."

"FIGHT!"

"Mystic Smash!"

Shuma-Gorath curls his tentacles close into himself as he seems to leap at his opponent. Thorns decorate his exterior just before he collides with Discord's head. Discord looks hardly fazed from the initial strike, but the demon is only just starting as he whips out his tentacles in a flurry of... uh... kicks(?)... er... punches(?).

---
A/N: You don't need to be exact with your descriptions, narrator.
---

Well, whatever. Shuma-Gorath jumps away from his opening attack and tries firing his purple Mystic Ray. Grinning, Discord curls his body in a way that he can lazily dodge the attack. Straightening back up as much as he usually does, he snaps his claws. This creates a flash just above his opponent. A pink cloud starts raining brown liquid that's only dangerous to the lactose intolerant. Shuma-Gorath only seems irritated emotionally, not physically.

The sun is suddenly out, shedding some light on this otherwise dark street. Snapping his claws again, Discord summons an army of... buffaloes in tutus? What is this? I don't even. Luckily for the battle action, Shuma-Gorath is less weirded out and prepares a counter measure.

"Hyper... Mystic Smash!"

A cluster of spike-covered eyeballs are launched out of Shuma's center. Each buffalo is bowled over by one of them. Though, the sun has mysteriously vanished and is replaced by a moon during its last quarter phase. Discord snaps again and Shuma is teleported in a white light. He reappears in a... snow cone(?) in Discord's paw. Letting loose a bit of steam, Shuma shouts.

"Enough!"

A large pair of jaws with fangs emerge from Shuma-Gorath's center. They bite Discord's midsection and a red bubble-like object surrounds the draconequus. Through the translucent layer, the camera can see that Discord is genuinely intrigued by this turn of events. Shuma's eye appears just above the center of the bubble.

"Welcome to... the Chaos Dimension!"

Suddenly, the bubble form is released as a giant green tornado whirls around and spreads gunk in several directions all over the street. Shuma-Gorath reforms in his eyeball, tentacular form.

"You are an embarrassment to chaos lords everywhere," he states matter-of-factly.

"Well, sorry if I don't play by their rules," chuckles Discord as he reappears in a white flash, levitating just above Shuma.

Waving a limb this time, Discord's power raises flying pies out of absolutely nowhere. The rulers of chaos are carried upward on two of said pies. Gathering more of his strength, Shuma uses his eye to scan the entire pie-filled scenery.

"Hyper... Mystic Ray!"

His wide-ranged, purple laser of death turns the mass of pies into crumbling pieces that are burned black. Though, it's at this point that he realizes that there's nothing supporting him in the thin air.

"Bye-bye," waves Discord as Shuma plummets to the ground below. His scream is only silenced by his impact.

Shuma-Gorath slowly lifts himself up with a few of his tentacles. Discord appears in front of him in a white flash.

"You..." Shuma's voice sounds like a whisper, "You think that you can beat me in my own game?"

"Oh, but that would imply that I had any chance of losing," smirks Discord.

"As you will soon see..." starts Shuma.

"Good luck with that," quips Discord snapping his claws again. The visual whites out, and the camera sees Shuma-Gorath in some blank, white realm. He closes his eye and crosses two of his tentacles like a person would cross their arms.

“So thou knowest the essence of Shuma-Gorath, eh, Discord? Aye... evil! Ancient, timeless…patient…evil! And Shuma-Gorath doth know thee.”

He cackles as his essence starts to take refuge into this dimension, reshaping it to his liking.

"Continue?"

---Death Battle---

Well, you can beat some of the people some of the time, but you can't beat all of the people all of the time.

Truer words have never been spoken, B.

So sorry to interrupt gentleman.

What? What?

Muffled noises are heard and the visual of the battle's replay cuts to static.

...

The static cuts back to reveal the white realm which is a lot less white and a lot more of a sickly green color.

Mua ha ha ha ha ha ha!

---Death Battle---

"Continue?"

"Yes!"

Huh? I thought the match was over. Well, okay. *ahem* Shuma-Gorath starts warping the dimension he's in until he oozes through a pore into the dimension in which the battle's setting is. Meanwhile, Discord is lying down in a hammock attached to two palm trees that have somehow taken root in the street's tar. The noise of Shuma's return causes the draconequus to stop sipping his coconut milk of cup and lift his sunglasses in surprise.

"What's this?" Discord asks.

"I can bend all of reality!" shouts Shuma-Gorath spreading his tentacles to reach all around the environment, "What hope did you have to defeat me?"

Discord yawns, "I grow bored of these so-called powers of yours. I'm going back to messing with ponies."

With a snap from his claws, Discord is gone in a flash of light.

"This world will be mine!" shouts Shuma-Gorath to the empty air.

"K.O.!"

---Death Battle---

That Discord may have been a handsome devil, but he lacks any motivation to finish what he started. That is why the winner of this Death Battle is none other than Shuma-Gorath!

I now return you to your regularly scheduled reading, you pathetic wastes of flesh.

---Death Battle---

That was... fairly uncomfortable.

That was the second worst "bad touch" I've ever experienced.

What was your first?

My ex-wife.

Ah.

A white light flashes on screen.

Discord's back, my little show hosts! Did you miss me?

---
A/N: Oh, I give up! *Flips a random table and leaves*
---

Huh. What's with him?

---Death Battle---

Next time on Death Battle...

And now...

The moment...

You've all...

Been waiting for...

...

...

Wait, what?

You've got to be kidding me.

---Death Battle---

---
A/N: Picture by AniRichie-Art.
I gain no profit from this. Opinions expressed by Shuma-Gorath and/or Discord do not necessarily reflect the opinions of "The Moment No Pony was Waiting For" or anyone associated with it. Viewer discretion is advised.

Comments

[TundraStanza]

Starting right now, I'm not doing any more Discord battles.
End of discussion.

[fanon44]

1705321 you really seem to hate discord

[Dirty Bit]

Meh, I'm not worried. This was another good chapter! A challenge for you would be a Sombra chapter

[leaderofstars]

how the fuck will the waldo and derpy battle fan out?

[TundraStanza]

1706142
Funny you should mention that...