The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody)

by TundraStanza

Chapter 88: Five Nights to Fail

I suppose lighting doesn't really matter in this chapter's case.
All properties in this chapter belong to their respective owners.
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Here comes something you really weren't waiting for!

Five Lightning Rounds

Five fights!

All action!

No research!

Start that clock and... GO!

---Nightmare Slender vs. Freddy Fazbear---

A somewhat rusty robot that resembles a teddy bear hangs out on the stage. Outside, the sun slowly goes down. An off-screen grandfather clock strikes the midnight hour. The scene changes to become much darker. Something red that resembles blood starts flowing out of the bear's mouth. Static blocks the visual for a second before a new entity enters the scene.

It appears to be a pale white man in a business suit. The only visible part that isn't white is his strange, flowing hairstyle. The bear's eyes abruptly turn toward this intruder.

Begin!

In an instant, the bear is up in the "man's" face. It lets out a noise exactly similar to a screaming lady while waving its limbs around. It appears that it's grabbing the intruder. But the table is quickly turned as the slender man suddenly grows tentacles out of nowhere and punches holes in every single one of the bear's mechanical joints. Fazbear falls to pieces.

Fight over!

The winner is... Nightmare Slender!

All right, who's next?

---Nightmare Slender vs. Bonnie the Bunny---

Sparks come from a nearby doorway. A purple animatronic animal that looks suspiciously similar to the bear quickly wanders in. Its right arm is missing, exposing the robo-endoskeleton where its arm should be. Its eyes briefly flash black and then red.

Begin!

The bear-shaped rabbit charges forward and grabs Nightmare Slender's neck area with its exposed robotic arm. It lets out a scream identical to Freddy's. Static briefly covers the screen. When the visual is restored, the audience sees four of Slender's tentacles wrapped around the robot, holding it up near the ceiling. A bit of popping and sparking is heard before this robot falls to pieces as well, joining the scattered remains of the brown bear robot.

Fight over!

The winner is... Nightmare Slender!

Third fight, will it be the charm?

---Nightmare Slender vs. Chica the Chicken---

A large yellow bird animatronic enters the scene. It's head and limbs spasm uncontrollably. However, its stare is constantly on the threat that is presently in its territory. Either this chicken seeks to avenge its fallen animatronic comrades, or it's really hungry for some new cuisine.

Begin!

Static covers the screen. When the camera comes back, Chica is screaming in the tall man's face. Her teeth are all exposed as her beak clamps down on the enemy's head. Another burst of static blocks the next second before revealing a long, sharp blade of pure night sky cutting through the artificial bird's head. It slides down vertically before the robot chicken is sliced into neat halves on the floor. Oddly enough, its spasming has stopped.

Fight over!

The winner is... Nightmare Slender!

Four: Asia's number of death!

---Nightmare Slender vs. Foxy the Pirate Fox---

For whatever reason, the next contestant doesn't show up... at least not right now.

Begin!

Several rapid footsteps can be heard. Though there is no sign of worry, Nightmare Slender casually looks at the door on the left. In an instant, a fox animatronic dressed up in pants and an eye patch leaps forward. Its scream is identical to its animatronic brethren. One of Nightmare Slender's tentacles launches and catches Foxy in the middle of its attack. Part of his nightmarish hair conjures lightning and channels it down his tentacle. Foxy's eyes glitter while the rest of his body sputters. It falls to the floor in a charred, unmoving heap.

Fight over!

The winner is... Nightmare Slender!

Final scuffle!

---Nightmare Slender vs. Go-

Yeah... I'm going to have to stop you right there.

Wait, what?

Let me just make a slight adjustment... and... there! That's much better.

---Nightmare Slender vs. Golden FreddyThe Crimson F-er---

That's odd. I could have sworn that a golden version of Freddy was supposed to be the last fight on this script.

Let's dance!

The screen suddenly gets filled with a lot more red. Eyes, teeth, and hands all pool out in a glob of bloodiness from the sudden vampire's appearance. Static flashes as Nightmare Slender launches forth all of his tentacles at once. Several cards dance around and mince up one of his tentacles. Another is blown clean off by a twisting and turning bullet fire that can't decide which way it wants to go. A hellhound chomps down on the third tentacle. Alucard's Hellsing pistol blasts off the last one in a strange, purplish goo.

An unholy scream of scrambled tones rings out of Slender's non-existent throat. Two blood globs in the shape of farmers stick their pitchforks into his body. Another one shoots five-millimeter handgun bullets against his torso. Finally, Alucard's own fangs chomp down and bite straight through, completely destroying Slender's physical head. His globs slowly flow back into him. He resumes his usual attire of red coat and hat. A purple cloud puts on his sunglasses before being sucked into his left arm.

He laughs proudly in the only way Takahata101 can.

Fight over!

Um... I guess the winner is... Alucard!
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Do you want more unresearched action like this? Let us know in the comments below.

Don't forget to check back next time for a proper-length Death Battle with all the trimmings.
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*Ahem!* I said, "Next time on Death Battle..."

"Yeah! P is for Rainbow Dash! ... Never mind!"

"You'd make a great wrestler yourself."

Author's Note:

This has been Five Lightning Rounds. Thank you and good night!

Comments

[Dirty Bit]

Of course it had to be the fkmothering vampire himself

And here I thought it was gonna be a curbstomp against an unnatural force.

Alucard really brings back my love for vampires that Twilight has taken from me all those years ago...

[The Sorcerer Supreme]

The moon knight vs luna