Battle Royale: Main 7 vs. The Crystal Gems
Warning: The following chapter contains potential spoilers for Friendship is Magic (Middle of Season 8) and Steven Universe (End of Season 5). Continue reading at your own risk.
Please make sure your "Formatting" is set to "Dark" to allow brighter-colored text to be legible. Thank you.
The final result may not seem long, but it certainly feels long to me.
Properties in this chapter belong to Hasbro, Death Battle channel, Cartoon Network and Rebecca Sugar.
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The Moment No Pony was Waiting For
Special Chapter
~Let's get ready to crumble!
There are many teams of cartoon super heroes that fight to protect the world they believe in. Some get as gritty and dark as possible, while occasionally trying to slip humor in the cracks.
And others showcase a boatload of colors while only occasionally tackling much darker undertones.
Representing Equestria are the Elements of Harmony and their main sidekick: Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Spike.
And fighting for the Earth including an animated Beach City: Steven Universe and the Crystal Gems! In no particular order: Steven, Pearl, Ruby, Sapphire, Amethyst, Peridot, and Lapis!
While an exhaustive calculation of possibilities is impossible, and the director is only one person, we will do our best to showcase what we believe would be the most likely flow of events.
TL;DR: Our show, our way. The end. He's W and I'm B.
And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
~~~Death Battle~~~
Team Friendship
The land of Equestria is home to a multitude of mythological and magical creatures. Most dominant is the variety of ponies: Earth, Unicorn, and Pegasus, with a select few that achieve the power of Alicorn.
*sigh* As much as I love to hate these toy horses, I can't deny that they find ways to break reality. One breaks sound barriers; one breaks the fourth wall; one breaks physics with her magic... the list goes on.
But before our focus subjects for today became the famous heroes of this peace-loving nation, they were once unspectacular fillies. Twilight Sparkle was a unicorn trying to understand magic, though struggling in the practical application. Applejack wasn't even sure that farm life was even her calling. Pinkie Pie was a rock farmer, Rarity was unsatisfied with her dressmaking, Fluttershy had trouble flying, and Rainbow Dash was too headstrong for her own good.
That all changed the day that the rainbow-Pegasus discovered her desire to overcome the competition for the honor of a friend. Though, maybe she could have also taken notice of her friend's life in danger due to gravity and fear, but whatever. She made a freaking sonic boom! She made an explosion of air by traveling five times faster than the speed of sound... and promptly jumping to two times faster than that!
That's not just any sonic boom. It's the signature Sonic Rainboom. Not only did it break sound barriers, but also the visible light spectrum, a faraway boulder, a certain Earth pony's mane-style, and a unicorn's psyche enough to unleash magical output beyond what any normal filly should have been capable of.
After years of training and applying herself, while also saving the world multiple times next to her friends, Rainbow Dash finally found her coveted spot on the Wonderbolts. They're basically the pony Blue Angels. Oh, and the others did stuff too, I guess.
I've never known you to skip out on fascinating information, B.
Sorry, but I kind of want to get to the fighting bits sooner before the heat death of the universe. Do you honestly believe anyone that's read this far hasn't already found out everything they need to know about these six ponies and their magical Elements of Harmony?
Well... there's still some new information to cover, like how they've started to take time to educate future generations in the Magic of Friendship with multiple creatures as students. And Twilight Sparkle's assistant has gone through his molting cycle, finally gaining a pair of dragon wings for himself.
So the messenger lizard can fly now. Big deal. Here, let me just put this up about the important stuff:
Twilight Sparkle
-Alicorn (flight, magic, and strength)
-Strengths: telekinesis, illumination, beams, shields, gravity manipulation, transfiguration, partial intangibility, teleportation, voice projection, spell copy and spell reproduction, dark magic, friendship
-Weaknesses: neurosis, easily stressed, compulsiveness
Applejack
-Earth pony (strength)
-Strengths: strong back legs, lasso (long-ranged weapon), accuracy, quick on the ground, level-headed, team support
-Weaknesses: family pride before the fall, cannot tell a lie without making obvious gestures, can sometimes talk circles around herself
Fluttershy
-Pegasus (flight)
-Strengths: individual concern, flight, can walk on clouds, can keep up with Rainbow Dash (and even overpower her) when properly motivated, animal persuasion, supportive, encyclopedic knowledge on animals
Weaknesses: overwhelmed by excessive attention, dragons, peer pressure, surprises
Rainbow Dash
-Pegasus (flight)
-Strengths: speed, flight (3800+ mph on average), strong front hooves, weather manipulation, can walk on clouds, blinding techniques, personality imitation, occasionally stealth
-Weaknesses: inner depression, tunnel vision, imprecise, easily swayed at times
Rarity
-Unicorn (magic)
-Strengths: telekinesis, illumination, gem-detection, detail-oriented, multi-tasking, couch summoner, charm, some personality imitation
-Weaknesses: sometimes easily distracted, compulsiveness, excessive dirt, easily corrupted mind
Pinkie Pie
-Earth Pony(?)
-Strengths: utilizing cartoon physics, seeing beyond the fourth wall, hammer space, Party Cannon, cloning, comedic timing, positive emotion stimulant, baking, optimist, tough bite, wild imagination
-Weaknesses: mood whiplash, losing focus, exaggerated distrust, wild imagination
Spike
-Dragon (fire and resistance)
-Strengths: fire breath, drill/shovel tail, hover/flight, tough scales, immune to lava (see episode "Dragon Quest"), messenger fire
-Weaknesses: naivete, distracted by infatuation, inferiority complex, writers' slapstick timing
Wait, back up. Why did you call Pinkie Pie's wild imagination both a strength and a weakness?
Because her imagination can conjure either the greatest crack story ever written, or the worst possible assumption that makes her see her friends as monsters... or both!
Oh. ... I guess that makes sense.
~My Little Pony, do you know you're all my very best friends~
~~~Death Battle~~~
Team Crystal Gems
Thousands of years ago in the depths of space, there was a home world for a faction of aliens known as the Diamonds, and their multiple servants that are represented by other gemstones. The youngest of the diamonds, Pink Diamond, wanted a chance to prove herself and was finally granted her first planet: Earth.
Wait, these Diamond aliens just give their children planets as presents? Where can I sign up to be adopted?
Well... it turns out that the gift wasn't exactly as glamorous as Pink Diamond thought. See, it turns out that the people, plants, and animals on Earth are all really beautiful. Whereas claiming the planet in the name of the Diamonds involves breaking apart the planet's resources, growing more gem soldiers, replacing the planet's core with a cluster of forcibly fused gems that eventually tear it apart, and essentially killing all life and leaving nothing behind but an empty shell. Oh, and... they keep the few lucky humans to survive in a zoo.
Ew... a cage where I'd essentially be standing in my own crap while waiting for some slop of a meal? No thank you. I take back my offer of joining the family.
That's what turned you off? *Ahem* Well, Pink didn't exactly like what her gift was turning into, so she went through a number of convoluted steps that don't really sound like good ideas when you put them all together. She faked her own death by having her Pearl allegedly kill her for good, keeping her real self hidden so she could come back in a new form permanently: Rose Quartz. Rose and Pearl went on a quest to strike fear into every other Gem that tried to conquer Earth, but she kind of stopped when she witnessed the fusion of a Ruby and a Sapphire. Her goal then switched to fighting for the Earth and all of the Gems that were outcast and would stand beside her. This led to a five thousand year-long war between The Crystal Gems for Earth and the Homeworld gems trying to avenge the death of Pink Diamond and finishing the planet destruction that was started.
Oh good gosh, that's practically a wall of text on the script.
But then once the dust was settled, Rose fell in love with a human who would call himself "Mr. Universe". She went through a union ritual that essentially erased herself while implanting her gem inside a human baby, Steven.
Huh. Sounds like a backstory for a main character if I've ever heard one.
Unfortunately, the fight against Homeworld didn't stop just because Rose Quartz AKA Pink Diamond was gone. Steven and his protectors, the remaining Crystal Gems would continue to face enemy gems, corrupted monsters, and several other hardships. All the while, they'd also endure the strangeness of Beach City and customs that they were not used to, aside from Greg and Steven trying their best to help them understand.
But Steven was just so empathy-driven and willing to see the good in everyone, that they befriended a few of the Gems and convinced them to join his side. He even managed to convince White Diamond, the oldest and arguably most dangerous of the three remaining Diamonds, to re-think her stance on life in general. Well, he did that after she brainwashed his gem friends, ripped out his gem, and that pure gem side of Steven deflected seven of her mind-dominating blasts at once!
And since you glossed over the Main 7 in their opposing group, I'll just post this:
Steven Universe
-Half-human (from father), half-gem (from mother)
-Strengths: Defensive bubbles, magic gem shield, adjustable gravity, cat shape-shifting, Pink Diamond's sword, healing saliva, adventurous taste buds
-Weaknesses: child psyche, refuses to fight to the death, shape-shifting can be uncontrollable without an immediate source of water to force him back to normal, emotional stress weakens his other abilities, squishy human bits
(Traits shared by most gems: True self is just the gem somewhere on their body. Their bodies are made of light and directly depend on the gravity and atmosphere of the planet they stand upon. Each has the power to shape-shift their body to some extent. Each can create magic bubbles to contain and teleport small items. If they take severe damage, they retreat into their gem to regenerate their energy. If the gem is cracked, the extended body is unstable. If their gem is shattered, they cannot come back.)
Pearl
-Strengths: Very well-organized; disciplined; precision; follows orders thoroughly; can summon spears, swords, and other various objects; leaves very few openings when concentrating; uses the environment to her advantage
-Weaknesses: Clings to friends and allies with zero regard for her own well-being; lacks tact; takes orders from her Diamond so literally to the point of being unable to act against it; doesn't deal well with illogical situations
Ruby & Sapphire
-Ruby: Can set fire to surroundings and boil water when angry; spontaneous
-Sapphire: Can freeze entire rooms when upset or trying to contain her stress; future sight
-Fusion name: Garnet
-Strengths: Headstrong; can see the future to a certain extent; can summon fist gauntlets and sunglasses; strong enough to punch with the force of a meteor impact; great singing voice; straight sense of humor
-Weaknesses: Can get carried away with more aggressive situations; future sight doesn't work when there are too many possibilities; has not used fire and ice powers when fused; vulnerable to mind control
Amethyst
-Strengths: Constantly shape-shifting; most tolerant of foods and noxious smells; can summon thorny whips (each with three gem-tipped ends; spin dash; can break loose without orders
-Weaknesses: easily ticked off; not very bright; weaker than other Quartz and Amethyst gems; unsure how to handle emotional pain
Peridot
-Strengths: Encyclopedic knowledge of Gem culture and technology; metal-bending powers; high resistance to fall damage
-Weaknesses: Cannot shape-shift; low resistance to crushing damage; highly dependent on external technology; physically weak power output
Lapis Lazuli
-Strengths: Water manipulation; flight using water-like wings; can adjust water to act like a solid or a liquid
-Weaknesses: Long time period of depression and abuse, both giving and taking; takes many things too literally; low self-esteem
(Gems can fuse with other gems to form larger, stronger selves. They must be in complete synchronization for the fusion to work. Too much stress, outside pressure, or conflicting thoughts can break the fusion back into the individual gems. Fusions taken into consideration for this battle may include Sugilite (Garnet and Amethyst), Sardonyx (Garnet and Pearl), Opal (Pearl and Amethyst), Smoky Quartz (Steven and Amethyst), and Alexandrite (Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl). Obsidian (Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Steven) did not show their full potential in their one appearance in "Change Your Mind", so they cannot be considered for statistical calculations.)
Wait, why'd you post Ruby and Sapphire in the same slot?
Because their most common state in the series is when they're fused together as Garnet. That is how they will start in this battle.
Wait, if all of the Gems use female pronouns, does that mean that fusing makes them-
I don't know!
~Steven and the Crystal Gems
Please don't go back in time
I accidentally caused a paradox
By watching myself die~
~~~Death Battle~~~
Alright, the combatants are set. Let's settle this debate once and for all.
It's time for a Death Battle Royale!
~~~Death Battle~~~
The title screen parts way for a pitch-black setting. There is an annoying sound effect that sounds similar to a slide whistle. A cartoon head appears on the right-hand side of the screen with an old man chuckle. The top of his head opens up and unrolls a white placard. Some crudely written letters are on this placard that spell out:
"Please do not worry about deaths or presumed deaths in the following chapter. Everything that happens here is non-canon to both cartoon series."
As soon as the last word registers, the placard disintegrates. A tiny propeller pops out of the old cartoon man's top and flies him out of the picture. ... I have so many questions.
The dark setting is chased away by an expanding, star-shaped outline. It reveals a construction site with cranes, tractors, iron bars, wooden foundations, bags of cement, and a few ponies wearing hard, yellow helmets. Oddly enough, there's a large circular pad near one corner of the site. This pad shines in a dazzling light before six figures hop out.
"Wait..." The boy wearing a pink shirt and sandals pulls out a folded up piece of paper from his pocket. "This doesn't look like the Crystal Source."
The magenta lady with a stocky afro and thick shades turns her head slightly. "Did you enter the code properly?"
"Well, I pushed 'C' and 'S'." The short, purple girl with long hair twists a finger around in her ear.
"Ugh! You clod!" exclaims the even shorter chartreuse Dorito girl. "The warpers don't take acronyms. They require precise spelling and coordination. Otherwise the algorithmic bank goes completely haywire and haphazard!"
"I'm sorry. This is probably my fault... somehow..." The blue lady crosses her arms and looks away.
"Now, now, let's all be calm and patient." The pale woman with a light blue jacket smiles thinly. "It's no one's fault that Amethyst's vocabulary doesn't extend to Homeland's technology."
"Oh, every time with you!" Amethyst turns on her heel and puffs up her chest while glaring at the pale woman.
Meanwhile, one thousand centimeters away, six familiar ponies and their young dragon companion walk along the road. The commotion from the construction site seems to have attracted their attention. They all take a peek around a nearby fence post. Exceptions include the rainbow-maned pegasus hovering over the fence top and the pink earth pony levitating upside-down from the upper barrier of the device's screen.
"You guys, stop fighting!" The boy magically conjures a shield just in time for Amethyst to slam quill-like hair right into it.
The resulting reverberation shakes the whole construction site. Iron bars start dropping down. The big, magenta lady grabs three from her group while jumping and shoving the other two out of harm's way. Meanwhile, worried construction ponies stand in place while shaking in fear.
Twilight and Rarity concentrate magic together to try and hold as much of the falling debris up as possible. Applejack and Rainbow Dash rush in, on hoof and wing respectively, and carry one pony each to safety. Pinkie Pie bounces along a row of barrels and manages to sweep two construction workers to a safe distance. Fluttershy and Spike work together to fly one last pony away. As soon as the coast is clear, the alicorn and unicorn drop their mass of cargo onto the paved dirt.
"Whoa!" The boy gets white stars in his eyes. "Those horses have magic!"
"Steven, we have magic," points out the pale woman.
"Yeah, but it's normal for us gems." Steven waves a hand dismissively. "Where did those guys get it without gems of their own?"
Amethyst squints while holding a hand above her eye level. "I mean, I think I see three on that gray one's butt."
Rarity's ear twitches and it sounds like her neck cracks upon turning to look. "Did some-creature just insult my flank?!"
"Hey!" Rainbow Dash flies above her group. "Those are the bozos that caused this construction accident in the first place!"
"They're going to attempt to break us." The magenta afro summons a pair of hard gauntlets over her hands. "Brace yourselves."
The gems conjure their respective weapons and items for the inevitable fray. This seems to be enough of a provocation for each of the ponies and the dragon to look angry and stare fiercely. The one exception here is Pinkie Pie who is simply smiling and bouncing in place, happy to be here.
"Stick together, guys!" Twilight turns briefly to look at her friends. "We don't want them to catch us off-"
Amethyst's barbed whip snares one of Rainbow's legs, pulling her forward with a yelp. Shortly after, Garnet's fist collides with Applejack's face, sending her backward before the magenta lady jumps after her.
"... guard."
Twilight ignites her horn and puts up a magic shield, just in time to block a strike from Pearl's trident. Pinkie Pie gallops along the top of Steven's bubble, rolling him around the inside and making him dizzy in the process. Fluttershy flies around the field, trying to find some way to help. Close on that pegasus's tail is Lapis, who is bending water behind her back like a pair of wings.
---
"What's this?" Rarity wonders as her horn glows brightly. It seems to be resonating a pattern of glows from the green gem in Peridot's forehead.
"What the...?!" Peridot looks at her gem and waves her hands around it. "Hey! Unhand... I mean, un-glimmer me if you know what's good for you!"
Spike's eyes waver in their sockets at the sight of the beautiful gem. His licks the edge of his mouth and runs forward. Peridot grunts in confusion, before letting out a short scream at the sight of a baby dragon charging right for her. She turns around and runs away, mouth-breathing as she does so. Rarity gallops after the both of them.
---
Amethyst's whip slams Rainbow Dash into the ground behind her. The gem curls up into a ball and spins really fast, before turning into a shining projectile. Dash rubs her head with a hoof before rushing into the air. Amethyst pulls out of the spin, displacing a lot of dirt with her heels. She conjures a second whip and thrashes them against the sky. Dash flies around faster than the hidden camera can keep up, dodging the cracking whips all over the place.
---
Applejack eventually collides with a tree, splitting the whole thing apart and turning it into timber. She groans as she looks up just in time to see an approaching set of sunglasses. Garnet reaches out her giant gauntlet for another punch. This one sends the earth pony sliding across more ground. Snorting, Applejack stands up, adjusts her hat, and puts her hooves firmly underneath her.
Something briefly twinkles underneath the top of Garnet's shades. "What? There's no way that can be right..."
Two back hooves collide with Garnet's stomach region, sending her flying all the way back to where she started before the fight began. She slides along her back, leaving an imprint of her afro in the dirt.
"... Ow." Garnet places her gauntlets on either side of the crater she is in and pushes herself back up to a standing position.
---
Steven holds his hands over his mouth. Pinkie Pie has taken to hopping on top of his bubble, giggling to herself while the boy looks sick. With a flick of his wrist, Steven conjures a pink shield with a light blue pattern and flings it upward. It pops the bubble and collides with Pinkie's chin soon after. Steven stands on his sandals and squints as he looks up. His shield carries Pinkie above the cloud line and out of sight.
"Do you think she'll come down soon?" he asks to nobody in particular.
"I don't know." The pink pony looks up in the same direction as he is. "You did throw pretty hard."
"Waugh!" The boy yelps before jumping back. "But you were just... but you were up... how are you here?"
"Well it'd be rude if I left completely without saying a word, Steven!" She pulls him into a hug and smiles brightly.
"That doesn't answer my question!" he complains while squirming.
---
It appears that Fluttershy notices the flying blue gem on her tail. "Go away, please!"
"Don't take this personally." Lapis raises her open hand.
Some water in a nearby pond rises up under her control. The form mirrors Lapis's own hand before rushing out at the yellow pegasus. Fluttershy only has time to let out a quick gasp before the watery hand grabs around her. Lapis curls her fingers into a fist. The water responds by shifting into the shape of a cuff with chains. It presses hard around Fluttershy's neck and body, making her squeal in pain.
---
Pearl spins her trident around, adjusting the angle to make it hit Twilight's magic shield at various points. In response, Twilight tries flying around. Both of their eyes dart around for some kind of opening. Pearl leaps into a pirouette and does some air combos with her trident. It looks like Twilight's shield is holding for the time being.
"Your defense is pretty good," admits Pearl as she lands feet-first on the ground. "But you can't win without a plan of attack."
"Who said I wouldn't attack?" Twilight switches to a magic beam spell.
The beam hits the trident, spinning it out of Pearl's grasp. There is a moment of surprise as Pearl looks at the weapon landing off to the side. Twilight shoots a couple more blasts of magic. Pearl rolls forward and pulls out a couple swords from the gem on her forehead. She swings them at the incoming alicorn... only for said alicorn to phase through the new weapons and wielder entirely. Again, Pearl is caught off balance and she waves her arms frantically before regaining her footing.
"Been a while since I needed that intangibility spell," mutters Twilight. With another magical charge, she levitates Pearl up and away.
---
Peridot manages to find some bits and pieces of metal bindings from barrels as she runs. She turns with her hands reaching out. The metallic strips fly out at the dragon chasing after her. A couple pieces whack him over the head, but don't cause him to do much more than groan in annoyance. The rest of the metal flies right past him.
Rarity yelps as she barely sidesteps out of the way of the remainder of the metal. Some of Peridot's impromptu nails fly at Rarity, but the unicorn lights up her horn. The nails stop in her own magic field before she keeps galloping with them. The short lime Dorito trips over a stray iron bar. She attempts to lift the bar with her powers, but seems to be having trouble moving it more than an inch along the ground.
"Spikey, heads up!" Rarity turns the nails around and launches them.
Spike flaps his wings to back up a couple feet, letting the nails safely pass around him. He breathes out a plume of green flames, making the nails really hot in the process. In her grunting, Peridot fails to notice the hot nails until they burrow through her projected body's light-mass. The gem screams upon receiving her new set of holes.
Rarity's gem-finding spell makes Peridot's gem glow once again. The dragon swoops in closer and chomps down on the gem. As he chews up the chartreuse rock, the rest of Peridot's body appears to twist in and out of focus. Her screaming sounds like it keeps getting interrupted by static and a poor radio signal. As soon as Spike swallows, Peridot disappears entirely.
In a brief moment on her hind legs, Rarity punches down on her own hoof once. "That's it!"
"Huh?" Spike turns his head while patting his belly. "What's it?"
Rarity turns on her back hoof and motions with her front. "Come along, Spike. I'll explain while we regroup with the others!"
Peridot - Status: RETIRED
---
Whips keep cracking at the dodging cyan pegasus. Both Amethyst and Rainbow Dash are visibly sweating from their continued efforts. Dash flies off for a quick second while Amethyst breathes heavily. The ends of her whips hit the ground while they're currently not being used. Amethyst chuckles, thinking that her opponent is running away.
Unfortunately for the gem, this turns out to not be the case. Rainbow pulls a dark gray cloud into view and bounces on top of it. Amethyst shakes in place as a lightning bolt surges through her being. She shakes her head and looks up with a growl. She shape-shifts into a pegasus with her purple gem on her chest, then flies up and around the next round of thunder and lightning. Dash exhales a breath of confusion before the gem's new back hoof kicks her in the face.
Dash gently rubs the new sore spot before flying forth with a rainbow trail behind her. Amethyst uses her new set of wings to copy the flight path in the opposite direction. Both pegasi exchange hits with their front hooves. However, that initial exchange is the only one that is matched as the cyan mare flies around faster and faster. Amethyst tries to follow while flailing her hooves around her, but she keeps receiving blows in the head and abdomen.
Finally, Dash delivers a blow hard and quick that it sounds like a loud pop in the distance. A few teeth fly loose from Amethyst's mouth as her form changes back to normal. After skipping along the ground a few times, her external body poofs. The exposed gem slides to a stop on the dirt.
Rainbow flies away to get back to her friends. A quick light shimmers across the top of Amethyst's gem.
---
Applejack gallops along and leaps over Garnet's head. The earth pony lands, lifts her hind hooves, and extends them out for a buck. This time, Garnet stops the double-kick with her gauntlet, open-palmed. Applejack gasps as the giant hand clamps around her and throws her straight up.
"You made me disbelieve my own future vision the first time you showed me how much power you had," says Garnet with an indoor voice. "I commend you for that." She clenches her gauntlets and bends her knees slightly. "Your mistake was using your most powerful attack so early."
As Applejack falls, she fishes out her lasso from somewhere. Grabbing the rope with her tail, she whirls it around and thrusts it below her. The lasso presses around Garnet's chest and arms. With a bit of quick thinking and a twist in the rope, Applejack lands loudly and proudly back on solid ground. She smirks as she pulls the rope tighter... only to lose the smile when Garnet flexes and snaps the rope to shreds.
"Oh, horse-feathers..."
AJ turns and gallops away. The magenta woman gives fair chase on foot.
---
Pinkie Pie is still hugging Steven really tightly. Grunting and straining, he can't seem to get her off. Frowning as best as he can while his face is currently scrunched up, he conjures some of his gem power. He conjures his pink shield and spreads it out, pushing the pony away from him.
"Look, normally I'm all about free hugs," admits Steven, "but I'd rather everyone else stop fighting too, so we can enjoy them properly."
"Oo! I know a way we can get started on that!" Pinkie Pie bounces in place.
"Really?" Steven's eyes twinkle with stars in them. "How?"
Before Steven realizes it, he is inside of a dark space with only a circle of light behind him. Outside, Pinkie Pie adjusts the path of her party cannon before covering her ears. There's a loud pow as the cannon blasts the boy right onto Garnet's face. She halts her chase to gently peel him off and carry him safely.
Pinkie Pie hops off the screen to the right.
---
Fluttershy tries to pull the water chains off. But her hooves can do nothing but move water around while Lapis Lazuli holds the real cuff tighter and tighter. Fluttershy gasps for precious air. Her eyes open wide as they threaten to roll back into her head. In contrast, Lapis closes her eyes and turns her head away from her latest victim.
There's an animal's silent chitter off to the side. A white bunny rabbit bounces along a convenient stack of toppled construction debris. He kicks off a corner and lands on the flying blue lady's back.
"Huh?" Lapis looks around and grabs with her hands. "Hey! Get off!"
Her distraction drops the water from the pegasus pony. Fluttershy coughs as vitality returns to her. She manages to catch sight of the current struggle between gem and bunny. She reaches out a hoof and tries to warn him to be careful.
The gem appears to boil in frustration. Her watery wings twist around and grab the rabbit, throwing him off her. She sends more water after him, pinning him to the ground. Moving her hands together as if holding an invisible ball, the water complies and surrounds the rabbit in a small sphere. He panics and attempts to move his paws to swim to the water's surface, but Lapis keeps pushing him back down under it.
"No..." Fluttershy hovers down, but doesn't get closer for fear of the water that had held her not too long ago. "No! Please! Let him go!"
The bunny holds his throat with both paws. His cheeks swell, trying desperately to hold onto his remaining air. Eventually, all bubbles pour out of the rabbit's mouth. His eyes close as his body hangs motionless inside the watery sphere.
"Angel!" wails Fluttershy with streams from her eyes.
Lapis Lazuli exhales and drops her arms to either side. "Glad that's over with..."
For some aesthetic decision, the animator puts a symbol for "Danger" on repeat and has it scroll along the bottom of the screen.
"I feel like I'm forgetting something..." Lapis has a deadpan expression as she mutters to herself.
The screen goes black as the "Danger symbol" occupies the entire screen.
"YOU HEARTLESS MONSTER!!!"
Lapis turns her head to look... only to get a face full of yellow hoof. The salty tears in Fluttershy's eyes are replaced with angry flames. She roars like a wild beast before she seems to vanish. In speed lines similar to Dash from earlier in the battle, Fluttershy races around faster than Lapis can track. What the audience can see are the multiple grunts of pain and flinching from Lapis's face, back, and the rest of her body.
In her rage, the pegasus fails to notice that one of her kicks creates a crack in the blue gem on Lapis's back. She flies into the blue lady's face with enough force to create four sequential sonic booms upon impact. With all that damage, Lapis's body appears to short-circuit before retreating into the cracked gem.
The blue gem is sent falling with style into the same iron bar that Angel Bunny had used to reach her in the first place. The crack extends further along the gem until it splits into multiple pieces.
Fluttershy's anger leaves her dissatisfied. She flies off to regroup with her friends. She knows that monster wasn't alone. There is still work to be done.
Lapis Lazuli - Status: RETIRED
---
"Twilight!" Rarity exclaims. "These creatures weakness' is their gems! Spike just has to eat them!"
Twilight blinks. "Huh. ... That's an oddly specific fact. Maybe I should record that later."
Applejack gallops up next to them. "Had to ditch the big one. What'd I miss?"
"Heh heh." Rainbow Dash flew in close. "Mine went down like a chump!"
"You figured out you had to destroy her gem too?" asks Rarity.
"Do what to her what?" Dash tilts her head.
"That sounds like a 'no'." Spike crosses his arms.
"Hi, guys!" Pinkie Pie hops in from the left side of the screen. "I gave the cute one a free hug and showed him my Party Cannon!"
A sweat drop appears behind Twilight's ear. "Uh... good for you, Pinkie Pie."
Fluttershy flies over and lands. Her mane casts a shadow over her eyes.
"Oh, Fluttershy!" Rarity trots over. "We figured out that their gems are their weak points."
"We're merciful." Her feathers shake with tension. "We'll give them all a quick end."
"Ah, of course." Rarity chuckles nervously.
---
Pearl lands and slides next to her team. "Oh my gosh, those horses have magic."
"That's exactly what I said!" Steven exclaims while holding up his arms.
"Hold on guys!" Amethyst breathes out loud while running over. "What happened while I was out?"
Garnet sets Steven down. "We lost Peridot and Lapis Lazuli."
Pearl picks herself up and brushes the dust off her arms. "Well, no matter. We can figure out a plan to take care of these creatures in time for them to reform."
"They're not going to reform."
Pearl, Amethyst, and Steven all look at their tallest ally. "What?"
Garnet's left arm shakes. "Their gems are no longer in a state that can reform."
"I can fix them with my spit!" insists Steven. "Just tell me where I'll find them."
"You won't find Lapis at all." Garnet briefly removes her shades. "But we'll find Peridot in that dragon's stomach."
...
"Oh..." Steven wipes his wet palm on his shirt.
Pearl clears her throat. "Well, Crystal Gems, I do believe we know exactly what this situation calls for."
Amethyst smiles wryly. "Alexandrite?"
"Alexandrite." Garnet puts her shades back on.
"Fusion!" Steven hoops and hollers.
Pearl starts dancing like a ballerina. Amethyst flips her hair around pumps her arms around like a freestyle dancer. Garnet bops her head while snapping her fingers. As the other two get closer, she grabs one of their hands in each of her own. Steven looks up at the growing, green light in awe.
---
"Okay!" Twilight addresses the other ponies and dragon. "This time, we stay together. Got it?"
"Got it!" echoes the rest with varying degrees of enthusiasm.
Spike points a claw and his eyes open wide. "Holey guacamole! What is that?!"
As the ponies turn to look, their expressions shift to match the dragon's. A large creature with magenta skin, green hair, and purple accessories stomps forward. Its humanoid face lifts its chin to reveal a second mouth, with much more teeth in it. This giant roars with a jet of hot pink fire.
"Bunga-cowa!" Steven cheers from the creature's shoulder. "Fear the wrath of the giant woman!"
Rainbow gulps. "We... aren't equipped for that kind of monster."
Pinkie Pie pulls out a golden suitcase. "Sure we are!" She opens it up to reveal a royal purple cushion with five unique necklaces and a big tiara resting on it.
"The Elements of Harmony?!" Twilight exclaims.
"When'd you have time to pick these up?" Applejack holds out a hoof facing upward for emphasis.
Pinkie Pie pretends to perform a golf swing. "Well, after I fired the kid away, I had some time to knock off my clock..."
"Good grief, we don't have time for the play-by-play," points out Fluttershy. "We have an enemy to take down."
"Fair enough!" Rarity concurs.
With a quick cast, Twilight magically attaches her crown and the five necklaces to their proper wearers. They each face the incoming enemy and close their eyes to concentrate. Spike runs off to one side while his friends get to work. The Magic of Friendship ties together like a multi-colored ribbon between the butterfly, the apple, the diamond, the balloon, the lightning bolt, and finally the six-pointed star.
Alexandrite conjures a bow and light arrow. She takes aim at the center of the friendship circle. The arrow glows like a shooting star. The ponies' combined magic shoots out in a spiral of six colors of light. The gems' arrow fires, briefly taking the form of the three ladies that make up the fusion. In their current forms, the two attack beams pass right around each other.
"Steven, get back!"
Alexandrite brushes the boy off her shoulder to slowly float behind her. She yells out as all of the ponies' magic collides with her. It turns into a rainbow that burns right through her being. Meanwhile, the light arrow explodes in the space between the ponies, forcing all six to scatter from their formation. They slide along the ground in different directions.
"Guys!" Steven yells out.
The form of Alexandrite disperses. At first, it appears that the three gems' main bodies return as they fall. However, those bodies also poof, leaving four different gems to fall toward the ground. Of all the times for Steven's floating to kick in, he really wants to fall faster but can't seem to concentrate on doing so.
"Twilight! Everypony!" Spike calls out while flying over his team.
"H-Hurry... Spike..." Twilight groans. "The gems..."
Spike nods and flaps as hard as he can to charge toward the falling gems.
"Oh no, you don't!" Steven conjures his shield and throws it at the incoming dragon.
"Whoa!" Spike narrowly leans to avoid the projectile and continues flying. His fangs clamp down on the amethyst and he swallows the pieces, save for some crumbs.
"Stop!" Steven conjures a large pink sword and tosses it Spike's way.
Again, Spike leans away from the weapon, but its blade causes a tear in his left wing. He manages to stuff the ruby and sapphire down his gullet just before he's forced to make a crash landing along the ground. Thankfully, his pain is minimized by his thick scales. The pearl bounces on the dirt over his head along his spine. He curls his tail up and manages to hang onto the pale gem while he pushes off the ground with his claws to stand up.
"No more!" Steven calls out as he finally touches down on the ground.
Spike pants before grabbing the gem and getting it down in two bites.
...
Steven falls to his knees and looks down. Streams flow from his eyes. He punches the ground with both of his fists. They're all gone. All of them are... gone. He curls up in a fetal position and surrounds himself in a pink bubble.
Amethyst - Status: RETIRED
Sapphire & Ruby - Status: RETIRED
Pearl - Status: RETIRED
Steven Universe - Status: Out of Commission
Twilight Sparkle - Status: Unable to battle
Applejack - Status: Unable to battle
Fluttershy - Status: Unable to battle
Pinkie Pie - Status: Unable to battle
Rarity - Status: Unable to battle
Rainbow Dash - Status: Unable to battle
Contestant(s) remaining: Spike
K.O.!
~~~Death Battle~~~
Oh my gosh, that was a slaughter. ... Do it again!
There is a lot to unpack here. In order to even begin to make sense of this outcome, we're going to need to break down the various components. First of all, the Crystal Gems do technically have more battle experience collectively than the ponies. However, this was mostly against their own kind and would therefore be used to very specific strategies that a lot of the same gems would use.
On the other hand, these ponies have had to work around the schemes of a whole bunch of different enemies like the embodiment of darkness, chaos, shape-shifters, tyranny, other ponies, a bug-bear, a centaur, and a whole bunch of other stuff. They're kind of used to dealing with unusual things outside their expertise.
In terms of intellect, we'd likely be comparing the knowledge of Pearl and Peridot against that of Twilight and Rarity. Peridot knows about more advanced technology. Pearl knows a variety of basic weapon techniques. Twilight's knowledge is an entire library's collection of textbook information. Rarity knows the most in her group about societal gossip and faux pas. In conjunction, Rarity and Twilight are more likely to come to agreements on what knowledge is applicable than Pearl and Peridot, since those two gems seem to have different opinions about function and purpose.
Power and creativity seems like a no-brainer. Garnet pretty much carries the muscle of the Crystal Gem's team along with future sight to predict her opponents' moves. But there's no way she's predicting the fourth-wall-breaking cartoon physics that are personified through Pinkie Pie. Add that pink pony's own reconstruction ability to Applejack's raw strength, and you're looking at odds that are next to impossible.
When it comes to speed, Rainbow Dash tops out at multiple times the speed of sound. While Amethyst is fast enough to surround herself with light, that's typically more for looking cool and doesn't offer much when her moves are straightforward and consistent. Also, she has a tendency to lose her solid form the most among her peers. Perhaps that's a good drawback for having the quickest re-spawn time.
Controlling an entire ocean and holding another gem down seems impressive, but Lapis was also kind of attacking herself when she did that. Plus, it's easier to target her gem as a weak point than the other Gems, since it's not exactly within her line of sight. Depression's only a good weapon when used to hold your ground against Blue Diamond, not an explosive temper coming from the normally quiet Fluttershy. Actually, Fluttershy at full potential can give Rainbow Dash a difficult time staying ahead, and we know how fast and tough she is.
Finally, there's the odd one out from both groups. As a half-human, Steven is more in touch with what's considered normal for non-gem creatures and can think outside what the Gems are used to. However, his negative emotions are much stronger when combining those of his human half and the embodiment of emotion that was his gem, Pink Diamond. These can cloud his judgment in stressful situations.
That's not to say Spike is immune to emotional outbursts. He is still a rather young dragon and impressionable. But he's also the most level-headed when his friends in Ponyville are going nuts. Plus, he can take the physical punishment that most of them can't, like lava, fire, and sharp objects.
Ultimately, while the Crystal Gems can fight through the toughest of odds, so too can the Little Ponies.
And that's how you crunch the taste of victory.
The winner is Team Friendship.
~~~Death Battle~~~
---
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You just had to use Uncle Grandpa for the intro
That fight was brutal in a good way. Fluttershy basically said the JoJo reference, I believe?
9535704
Yes, I did. *facedesk while laughing*
That sounds about right, yeah.
9535815
Will Bismuth appear in a later Death Battle? Because she's also a Crystal Gem
9537586
I can neither confirm nor deny that at this time.
9537602
Okay
Mr X (From Resident Evil 2 Remake) vs Big Mac because they both have superhuman strength
Spider-Ham vs Pinkie Pie because they're both slapstick type characters
9537602
KO awesome chapter, the battle was close with both sides losing leaving everything to Spike vs Steven and the flying purple dragon won the battle for the whole team!