The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody)

by TundraStanza

Lightning Round: Everything Wrong With "Get Over Here!"

"Formatting" can be set to whatever, though I recommend setting it to "Dark" due to some brightly colored text.
All properties belong to their respective owners.
---
Vague statement about things and people is vague.
(1)

Double Lightning Round!

Here, all fights are conducted without waiting for analysis.

Yet we have to wait for your mildly narrative intro.

(1)

Four Fighters!

All Action!

No Research!

Actually, you research just enough moves so that you can remotely describe what certain characters are doing during the fights.
(2)

Lightning Round!

Start the clock and... Go!

What clock? I don't see any clock.

(2)

(Two Hellish Tales)

---Scorpion vs. Hellfire---

Oh, that's such an original name for an OC pony.

(3)

Wind blows through a dark, cloudy sky. A lone, hooded unicorn stands at the base of Canterlot's mountain. His red muzzle sticks out, however, and clenches into a snarl. He's through waiting for his family to return. Now, he seeks revenge against whomever has wronged him.

Narration.
(3)

The sound of footsteps against gravel catches his attention. A masked ninja with glazed over eyes and a passion for yellow clothing walks into view. Neither of them seems entirely happy with the other presence.

Well, duh. Demons of vengeance have no joy.
(4)

Get ready to feel the heat!

Seriously? That's the best opening announcement you could come up with?

(4)

Fight!

Hellfire's hood flaps a little as his horn glows. Barely a second passes before he emits a giant fiery spell. Scorpion unleashes his own fireball. The two attacks collide in an explosion of backfire. Little embers rain across the barren field. That's when Scorpion unleashes his chain-linked dart and snags the stallion's chest.

"Get over here!"

Scorpion quickly reels his opponent in close. He then delivers an uppercut right to the pony's chin. It almost looks like there's a bit of broken jaw as the enemy is sent skyward. However, Hellfire just shakes away the pain before firing more hot blasts from his horn.

It's possible to shake off a broken jaw, but not like that.
(5)

Down below, Scorpion runs and dodges to the side of the incoming flame bursts. With some unnatural obedience to gravity, Hellfire swings down and flips over himself before slamming his back hoof against the ninja's head. Scorpion yelps at the force of impact and collides face-first into the ground. Hellfire then gets ready to stomp both of his front hooves down. But a sudden burning hand springs up and grabs him by the neck.

"You will join me in Hell."

A wall of hot fire surrounds the two combatants. With barely a nudge from his arms, Scorpion drags them far beneath anywhere that Earth Realm can reach. The stallion roars at his instant trip.

The trip to the Nether Realm was never instant. It usually takes at least twenty seconds.

(5)

The arena is shifted to an almost volcanic chamber. However, it is much hotter and emptier than Earth's mantle. Columns are stacked that look like they are made of bones. One stone pillar actually has a group of souls dangling on spikes for eternity. In any case, the two combatants appear on a conveniently straight and narrow path of solidified magma.

Hellfire spits to the side as he pulls out a weapon more akin to ceremonial blades. He gallops forth and tries to skewer his enemy. But by lifting his hands in the air, Scorpion's power conjures forth some red-hot spikes in multiple directions. One of these spikes catches an opening in Hellfire's weapon and stops his charge short of a stab. The ninja clenches his fists, engulfing the pony in a giant fire.

Using this moment of distraction, Scorpion pulls out two swords and swings them at his opponent. But in an instant of inferno, Hellfire teleports and reappears behind. He then proceeds to levitate the yellow-clad ninja up and over his head. This happens for three quick slams against the solid path. He then floats him over one side with the lava and releases his magic hold.

While falling, Scorpion growls in his demonic voice before launching two roped kunai. These knives sink into Hellfire's neck and chest before the ropes pull him off the path. Both combatants land in the molten pool beneath them. Their combined yells of pain make this scene unbearable.

Unbearable to whom?
(6)

There is a lot of bubbling against the lava's surface as their bodies melt away to charred bones. Suddenly, a burst of fire erupts along the path. Scorpion stands and raises his arms, more pissed off than anything else.

Fatality!

This round's victory goes to... Scorpion!

Oh, pshaw! You're just a Mortal Kombat fanboy, aren't you?

(6)

(Because they won't wait their turn...)

---LittleshyFiM vs. LowPonView---

Wait...

... what?

You're making us fight...

... each other?

How is this supposed to work?

You can't make us fight if you've never actually seen us before.

Exactly. Besides, we know who would win in a match between the two of us.

Yeah, it'd be me.

Right! Wait... what are you talking about?

Well, unlike you, I've actually gotten the chance to see my opponent. Your build just isn't a match for me.

What? Don't be ridiculous. I eat whole-grains every day.

Sure, but I don't see any muscle besides the ones in your mouth.

Hey, at least I have a ponysona. You're just ripping off Diamond Tiara and Sweetie Belle at the same time.

Oh, yeah? Bring it on, you rip-off of Cinema Sins!

Fine then, I challenge you to a sin-off!

Give me a challenge, why don't you?

Go for broke!

Debate!

Pinkie Pie has many things, but none of those is access to a television's rewind button.
(7)

Who the heck is "Saix"?

(7)

Discord's weakness against Shadow is poorly portrayed.
(8)

Wow, you're an even bigger pansy than Fluttershy to force Kirby to lose like that.

(8)

Sonic the Hedgehog's light-speed attack would have actually been more than a match for Rainbow Dash's Rainboom.
(9)

Who the heck is "Divine"?

(9)

Some time later...

Darth Vader would never lose to Nightmare Moon.
(69)

Tien would never lose... ever.

(69)

Oh, now who is the DBZ fanboy?
(70)

At least I'm not a Star Wars nerd... although Yoda kicks everyone's butt.

(70)

Objection overruled!

Ladies and gentlemen, we have... a tie.

Who is he talking to?
(71)

Fourth wall humor is bad and you should feel bad.

(71)

Sin total: 142

Sentence: The way of the forgotten chapter: Storm Troopers vs. Royal Guard

(Warning: Avoid clicking that link for your own good.)

---

Author's Note:

I meant no disrespect to LittleShyFiM and LowPonView, of course.

Comments

[denneylaw]

Nice. Look forward to more.

[Saiyan of the North Star]

KO do Chris from the story Monster of Canterlot vs Ben Mare from JusSoinc to see which son of Celestia and Prince of Equestria who will out royal who in a Death Battle with research please.

[Saiyan of the North Star]

6222313 KO hope they next chapter of the next death battle comes soon also hope you do Chris from Monster of Canterlot vs Ben Mare from JusSonic also GREAT JOB on this story.

[leslie2000]

6220435 flippy vs pinkamena

[denneylaw]

6559272 sounds good and all, though someone else on fanfiction.net did this already, so not sure if he/she would or not.

[denneylaw]

6559272 here's the Link.

[TundraStanza]

6563879 , For me, it's never a question of "Did someone already do this?" It's more a matter of "What aspects could I apply to such a fight?"