(READ ALL OF THIS) You have been given the Human's Guide to Life if Equestria. By some odd series of events you have come to this wonderful land of talking ponies. But a lot of you can't just jump into it without a little knowledge of your new home. Also you haven't been given this book, more like you have been forced to read every last word by Princess Celestia herself. But this is not a normal guide, no. This is a story, a story about you! In this we will cover, love and mating, your new self, settlement and careers, and many more things. So don't panic, because OMG THIS IS NOT HAPPENING.

(Please I hold nothing against humanity, or HiE stories, I love each and every one of them. In fact I'm giving them each a big shoutout for inspiring me. This is my second fanfic, and I just did it for the pure enjoyment of writing. It is roughly based off the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I will update occasionally and I will finish it.)

(Rated Teen for: Some sexual references, crude humor, and mild goofiness, and a teeny tiny bit of swearing. And fourth wall breaking. )

And this also a Guide, not a Manual.

'Do you want to go to Equestria?'
Simple question, simple answer. Of course I do.
Now, things didn't turn out quite the way I expected.

Let me explain something for you: In Equestria there exists a race of cat people. Usually around 5-6ft tall, agile and pretty strong to boot.
Me? I got the short end of the feline-stick...

This is my story, as Jazz the cat.

(Set in the universe of 'Chess Game of the Gods', originally created by Rust and Blackwing, expanded by the fans).
This is just for me to relax and write something funny for you to enjoy. Hope you like it.

Coverart by inoeitall.
Old coverarts: By AppleTank,
Original coverart

Princess Luna has returned to Equestria and made peace with the conditions that led to her dismissal, but despite a thousand years of progress, ponies still shun the night and seek refuge in the sun. Refusing to allow herself to fall into the same pattern that brought on the fury of Nightmare moon a thousand years earlier, Luna seeks advice in Twilight, and in turn explains to her the true origins of the land of Equestria.

Twilight's slight miscalculation with the Elements of Harmony land her and Rarity in a telepathic funk. But when Princess Celestia goes missing, it looks like having a window into each other's minds is going to be the least of their problems. The Mane Six will find themselves everywhere from Equestria's capital, to the home of the sea ponies, to a battle on the ocean for the fate of the world - all in this long adventure with more innuendo than you can shake your plot at. (Comments are appreciated! Finally done!)

"Celestia may deny it, but Nightmare Moon is Luna. She must accept the hard truth, warts and all."

Celestia does not want her sister to harbor a monster deep inside but her desires do not make it so. We all have our demons, our issues, our closets crawling with skeletons. We all have our warts, our scars, our problems and yet, there are those that love us anyway...

Or rather, they should.

He is known as a Jumper, an abomination before God, and technically, he died. Or at least he should be dead.

So why is it that he wakes up in a strange new land, and why has he become a horse? Or, a more fitting description would be a pony.

In his world, he was a considered an abomination, abandoned at a young age. He liked to be alone, not trusting anyone. Now is his chance to start over.

This is NOT a Human x pony shipping, the only humans were in the first 2 chapters (and maybe later on). I figured I should clear that up.

A young filly wakes up in the Everfree with memories not of her own nor of any creature that ever walked the face of Equestria. Meanwhile, Princess Luna is still having difficulty remembering her own past and is tormented by ancient scenes of chaos and death that seem so distant from the world she now finds herself in. Twilight and her friends get involved in an effort to help heal old wounds but what do they do when the innocent are guilty by proxy? What will wash away the sins of the past when they are only ours through blood?

Illustration by Melancholy Sanctuary, used with permission

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This is not HiE. Not exactly, anyway. Also, that description, while 'poetic' and accurate in it's own way, makes this story seem way more emo than it really is. At least, as much as I've done thus far.

Edit: This is not a retake on Past Sins. At least, not consciously. I had the idea for a while and actually started it before Past Sins (I think) before giving up. If I was affected by Past Sins, well, can't help that and I hope it's not the case.

Have you ever woken up somewhere you don't recognize? I have, once before. This time was not all that different. Headache? Check. Dry mouth? Check. Upset stomach? Check. Hooves? Uhm, that one is new.

Hi, I'm Bruce and I'm 32. Currently, I'm in a light blue Earth Pony foal's body no one has ever seen before. The rest of Equestria thinks I'm 9 and something really traumatic happened to me. It doesn't help I swear like a sailor and I could really go for a smoke right about now. I just hope that the Everfree Forest, rampaging monstrosities, evil dark abominations against God and the Cutie Mark Crusaders don't kill me before I have just one last drag.

Oh, and ponies are hella creepy when you really think about it. Geez.

A little comedy side project. EDIT: HAHA Main project. More characters to be added if I get that far. Categories might be refined as I write. Entire thing is unplanned except vaguely. Don't Expect excessive cursing to be written out, just hinted at. Oh, and as the character is a 30-ish year old in the body of a 9 year old, sexual jokes might exists but sex itself will not occur.

Special thanks to user Momomojito for the awesome-tastic picture! First fanart, I'm so HAPPY. I've gotten more since then! I should collect it all here. Collected!

She never saw herself as a caretaker, nor did she foresee gaining a sister, but after taking in a homeless filly, Rainbow Dash finds herself in a new role.

Playing the big sister for the only Cutie Mark Crusader without a family, Rainbow Dash finds she still has a thing or two to learn about sisterhood. After butting heads with Scootaloo one too many times, Rainbow Dash consults an expert on the subject.

This story is a sequel to My Sister, Loyalty

* Featured 06/23/2012
* Written prior to Sleepless in Ponyville

When the forces of nature come crashing down on a cold night, Scootaloo takes refuge in the only place she can call home: The Cutie Mark Crusaders Clubhouse.

Frightened and alone, only the arrival of a young mare with a mane and tail of rainbows can settle the filly. Scootaloo will soon discover that sometimes the pony who means the most to you as an aspiration, can also be the pony whom you take refuge with at the end of the day.

This story is a prequel to, My Sister, Scootaloo

* Featured on 06/23/2012!
* Edited by Double R Forrest
* Was written prior to Sleepless in Ponyville