Chapter 7: Pawshank Redemption
I woke up to the quiet sound of dripping water. Oh great, the box’s leaking aga- oh right… I’ve been taken prisoner, haven’t I? I barely remembered going to sleep.
I finally had a chance to look around the cell and the hallway outside it. It had been late last night when I have been brought in, and in my excitement about being there, I never actually had a chance to take in the view.
My own cell was fairly devoid of anything resembling decoration. Not that I had expected anything. The hallway outside was pretty tight and I could probably reach halfway across it to the other cell opposite of mine, if I tried.
Speaking of the other cell, it seems like I have a dungeon-mate (please let that be a word and not an innuendo!). Although I think he was sleeping at the moment, as the only thing I could see of him/her, was his/her tail sticking out from under the blanket.
The hallway itself wasn’t particularly interesting to look at. The only thing in it was a single chair and the guard that occupied it.
It was dull. Wow, it was dull! When you get over the whole ‘oh my god, I’m in an actual dungeon!’ you start to notice just how plain and boring it truly is. Which is why I started doing the only thing you do when you’re bored in a dungeon.
Let me explain what that is to those of you who haven’t been bored in a dungeon (yet). I took the only object in the cell (which was, conveniently enough, a metal cup) and began moving it across the iron-bars, effectively making that really annoying sound, which I can’t remember the name of at the moment.
Note to self, get an onomatopoeia dictionary… Why can I remember that word, but not the sound itself?!
And then I began to do what you do when you’re bored in a dungeon: I began singing. Singing really falsely. There’s always someone who does this, and while I have no clue why that is, I did enjoy the moment of being a cliché itself.
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Nobody knows my sorrow
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Glory hallelujah!
There came a snort from the cell across the hall. Either my singing, if you could even call it that, had awoken… ‘it’ or it was a snort of amusement.
Sometimes I'm up, sometimes I'm down
Oh, yes, Lord
Sometimes I'm almost to the ground
Oh, yes, Lord
Although you see me going 'long so
Oh, yes, Lord
OK, it’s a guy. And considering how he’s holding his ears, I don’t think the snort was because he found it funny.
I have my trials here below
Oh, yes, Lord
If you get there before I do
Oh, yes, Lord
Tell all-a my friends I'm coming to HEAVEN!
Oh, yes, Lord
“Oh please, for the love of swing, stop singing!” He yelled pathetically.
I finally got a good look at him. Big grey cat, butterfly, trumpet at his side and… a bowler… Weirdest thing being? I knew exactly who I was looking at. And I couldn’t for the life of me comprehend why he of all characters would be here. I stuck out my leg as far over to him as I could, wanting to shake the paw of the character from my childhood who had made me interested in music.
“Hello, name’s Jazz.”
He gave a wholehearted smile and reached his own leg out and shook my paw. “Scatcat, at your service pal.”
I could in the corner of my eye see the guard tensing up a bit at our contact, but visibly relax as we retracted our limbs.
“So, what are you down here for, Jazz?” He asked me.
“I ate the entirety of Don Monkey’s food storage, destroyed a precious Ming vase, and broke down laughing when he told me the name of the family.” I shrugged. “You know, the usual.”
I could tell that he was holding back his laughter. He did snicker a bit, so I still call that a win. “He renamed the family? To what?”
Renamed? Oh well. “He’s calling it; get this, ‘Moufia’.” I said with an expressionless mask on my face, complete with the air-quotes (which btw looks hilarious when done with paws!).
At the horrible pun, Scatcat broke down in a fit of laughter. Yeah, we’re gonna get along nicely.
“Oh boy, that’s even worse than the last name this family had!” He wiped a tear from his eye. “Back before Monkey was the Don, it was named ‘Meowfia’.”
At this, I just barely managed to contain my own amusement as well as the urge to facepaw. God these puns were stupid. It’s the small things in life that makes it worth living.
“OK, so you know why I’m down here, but what have you done to get thrown down here?”
“Well, Monkey had to take down the last boss of the family, so here I am.” He shrugged. I looked at him in silence for a moment with a raised brow… Do cats have eyebrows? No, not important right now! Scatcat was a former mafia-boss… That’s both kinda awesome and semi-disturbing.
Suddenly there came a *thump* and a small groan from the cell to my right. I stuck my head out through the bars as well as I could, trying to see what was going on. “Hey Rocko, are you OK in there?” Scatcat asked the person beside me.
From the depths of his cell came a small brown mouse, wearing a bandanna, his feet dragging along the stone-tiles. His eyes looked dead. I mean, not literally dead, but in a ‘holy crap, I should not have gotten out of bed today’-way.
“Just fell utta da bed boss.” He replied dispassionately.
“I’m sorry, I’ve just met you but I have to ask you this bro, but what’s got you so down?” I asked the ‘dead’ mouse.
He stuck his head out of the bars to meet my gaze. He frowned a bit, showing the most emotion I had seen on him thus far. “I’m trapped in da Moufia’s lair, against my will, with no hope for escape. How do ya think I feel?!”
I quickly took notice of the space between the bars and the size of Rocko. Oh it was only about 2 times his size… *sigh* Cartoony physics.
I think someone needs cheering up and a way out of here. Thankfully, I’m a cat currently in possession of both! That is if Lady Luck is on my side… Oh who am I kidding? If this whole game-thing is sponsored by the upper guys, I guess that Lady Luck has her own piece somewhere out there. Chess piece of Lady Luck? I’d like to meet that guy at some point. Go casino-hunting!
“So how’d you like to get out of here?” I whispered, just loud enough for Scatcat and Rocko to hear, but letting the guard stay out of the loop. Both jailbirds looked at me with a small look of curiosity. “We shall use...” I let the words hang in the air for a second. “Song!”
Rocko raised an eyebrow at my suggestion, while Scatcat visibly cringed. OK, he had only heard me when I weren’t even trying, but he didn’t have to wince at it! It wasn’t that bad… right?
You. Don’t. Say. Anything!
“OK, so assuming that your… ‘singing’, can help us, how’s that gonna get us out of here?” Scatcat asked in a hushed tone.
I winked at him. “Just follow my lead.” I turned to Rocko. “And while I’m at it, I want you to take what I’m about to sing, to heart.”
I put my fist together and began focusing on the song I wanted to play. Allow me to explain the hands. Back on earth I always had a bit of concentration issues. I tried to come up with ways to make myself focus better. In the end it was actually an anime that helped me out with that. God bless you Naruto. When I saw it, I noticed them using the hand signs as a way of focusing.
For shits and giggles I tried it out, and found that it actually helped. It didn’t suddenly turn me into a master of meditation, but I was occupying my hands and was able to focus a bit better. Since then it’s become a habit of mine.
The sound of a guitar filled the cell, and I began singing.
Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
The guard turned to me with a look of equal wonder and surprise at my sudden musical number.
And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...
I stuck out my head and looked at Rocko.
If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.
This time Scatcat joined me in the chorus.
And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...
And to my great surprise, Scatcat began singing the second verse. How he knew the lyrics, I have no idea, but I’ll roll with it. The guard stood up, intrigued by the situation.
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
The guard had walked to stand between me and Scatcat’s cells, joining us in the song.
So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath
As the guard (never got to know his name) sang the third verse, I quietly grasped the keys from his belt and unlocked the door. I reached behind the guard and handed the keys to Scatcat, him also unlocking his door.
Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
I gestured Scatcat to be ready. He nodded in understanding.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
Just as he finished his part of the song, me and Scatcat threw the doors open, the tight hallway making the doors sandwich the guard’s head, knocking him out. We continued the song… well, it’s just something you HAVE to do I guess.
And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
“Come on boy, cheer up!” I unlocked Rocko’s cell and let him up on my back.
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
“Worse things happen at sea, you know.” I told him over my shoulder. He raised an eyebrow.
Always look on the bright side of life...
“I mean - what have you got to lose? You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing. What have you lost? Nothing!” Both Rocko and Scatcat were looking at me strangely as we exited the door to the prison.
Always look on the right side of life...
Did I just escape a dungeon using Monty Python? You bet your ass I did.
We came out onto a street… right into a big group of cats and mice. In the middle stood a primate that didn’t look too happy to see us.
