• Published 9th Feb 2012
  • 15,138 Views, 573 Comments

The Human's Guide to Life in Equestria. - Noakwolf

A guide for those who have by some strange coincidence ended up in Equestria. Isn't that unfortunate.

  • ...

Important message from the Author

Dear readers of the guide,

I regret to inform you all that I am not going to continue the guide. I had originally thought that I could tackle another section of this guide. But after long, and rather hard thought I have come to the realization I just can't go on with this. It's extremely hard to write this, despite the short chapters, and while I had for the most part a lot of fun with this, I now feel like it is a distraction from some other writing projects that I would like to get done. As a result I will put this on hiatus, as I feel making it cancelled is a little to hard for me to do.

Though, I would like to say that it makes me very happy that you guys care and read my work. Especially with how random and goofy it may be. But really what I am trying to say is thank you, for the support, wonderful comments, and for following this wacky thing. Heck I even had one guy call it inspirational, which was kind of shocking to me, but in a good way.

This, despite it's size, is my first completed work. It is also one of the works I am most proud of, as even now I go back and read the stuff I wrote a long time ago and think, "Wow, I really wrote that? That's freakin funny, did I write that? No, I'm not that funny... Or am I? I don't know! *explodes*" Silliness aside, I'm glad that for some readers the newest updates were just amazing. Because when I sat there in a car, looking down in the side holder of the passenger seat of said car listening to some of music made by Mozart. I see the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and get the idea to make this. I never thought, it would get this big, and I know I've said that before but it is true and even now it baffles me.

I'm actually pretty sad while writing this message to you, the reader. I even watering up a bit, but that really isn't important. What is important is that I say that I will not go on. So I say thank you, you wonderful fantastic reader you, because reading this guide and supporting it with all your jokes, and comments has lifted my spirits to keep writing many of my other works. Even if they're not guide related, I still look back to this.

All in all though, I am very happy to have wrote this. It was a good experience and for most of it, it was a fun thing to write. However, it's time for me to write this message as I probably won't pick it up again. With that I say, "So long, and thanks for all the Lemons... No wait that's not it... Uh... So long and thanks for all the ponies. Yeah, that works."

- Noakwolf

(Note: I am not leaving the fanbase. I know a lot of you know that, but to me the end kind of sounds like I am. That's a mistake on my part, I'm just too lazy to fix it.)

Comments ( 28 )

Thanks for all the work you put into this, and good luck with whatever else you'll be writing.:eeyup:

i enjoyed editing this.


I'm glad you did. :twilightsmile:


Thanks! :pinkiesmile:

*Alondro the human Vulcan, analyzes the topic logically* Hmm, a comedic take on the subject. Indeed, it's quite open to all manner of potentially humorous satirical and farcical situational comedy.

Analysis indicated that this is worth a read.

*severe over-analysis forthcoming... or maybe just trollin'. We'll soon see!* :trollestia::trollestia:

I thought fimfiction prohibited the posting of guides? :rainbowhuh:

It really isn't a guide, per se, not one for real site rules or how to write a story. It's more of a giant comedy like there actually is a guide book for anyone who comes to Equestria. Sad to see it go, but it happens.

Oh well.
Congrats on getting featured again.

I'm sad regarding this turn of events but such is life right? May your future continue to thrive :twilightsmile:


Thank for the wonderful comment. :pinkiesmile:

For a second I was expecting something from the Guide's Author (did he ever get away?), but no problem.
This was a very fun ride, and I'd definitely read any more pieces like it. Douglass is probably smiling ... and face-palming because he missed a few things to make fun of.

Now it must be put in the sad catergory as well as comedy.... :applecry:


You know, I should have done that. That would have been awesome. Oh well, too late now I guess.

Must really ask why you updated the story to tell us this rather than just posting a dang blog.


Not everyone who follows this story is watching me, and I know that once this just shows up as "On Hiatus" People will want to know why. Not just that, but I update my blogs every 3 or so days so that message wouldn't be out long. With it here everyone will know why, not just the few who are following me. I figure just putting on Hiatus without warning to everyone would bring up a lot of questions. This way, as I have said before, is a way everyone knows. Not only this, but it can stay up there for as long as this site exists, a blog post cannot.


Wow you sure love to comment a lot don't ya? :twilightsheepish:


That pic made my day! :rainbowlaugh:


Yeah, some are but you are correct. There are loads of errors in these chapters I continue to find to this very day. Most of them are pretty minor for the most part. I plan one of these days to sit down and clean them up good.

I'm glad you like it! :3

And we did it! We reached 10,000 views! WHOOO! Thanks so much everyone! :pinkiehappy:

4338874 Even the Bail Lemons?

Okay. Got through the story and it was a good one.
I liked the little quotes all over the story. :raritywink:
And now I hope you will pick up this story sometime in the future again.

Dragon san:moustache:


What you see is pretty much the finished project. I understand that it says it is on hiatus in this particular message, but I marked it as complete because I truly feel it is. I'm very happy you took the time to read and even leave a comment!


- Noakwolf

No problem. It's a good story and has the unique humor of the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy down pretty darn well. I had it in my read later list forever and I'm sorry I just now managed to read it.
You even made my fingers itch for a new story to be written just so I could link it to this one.
Even thought that maybe when I'd get far enough that I could give you back some of this inspiration and you would write a chapter for the other races you haven't covered too.
That would be really great. A story with let's say different humans coming to Equestria with different means of transportation. (E.g. the stargate you mentioned,or death by those car thingies :rainbowlaugh: ) and everyone of them doing other things. One becomes a watch salespony and gets whacked over the head with the guide, another turns into a griffon and eats a grapefruit. All the ways it can go wrong and some where it goes right in one story with heavy reference on this one. So the comedy will be put in an extra layer of comedy.
If I had the time right now I'd begin writing in the dead of the night, which it is right now for me. Just past midnight. But you get what I mean. Would be epic to see this. :pinkiehappy:

Dragon san:moustache:

I'm a little disappointed that you won't be continuing the "guide" with the chapters on the other Pie-Ponies, but only because this story has been so enjoyable to read so far. I was also curious to see if you'd mention that weird Knobby thing on the end of the diamond dogs' tails that kinda looks like a morning-star-mace. Maybe some day someone else will explain this nonsense.

*Ahem* Anyway, this was a fun and funny bit of fiction I'm glad I got to read, so thank you for writing and sharing it. :twilightsmile:

This is useless. I already know how to survive in Equestria. LOL

God, this is so old. Does it still get traffic? It does? Oh, that's pretty neato.

I enjoyed Brotherhood so I have lined this up for a future read.

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