This isn't where I belong. I left all this behind years ago, moved on with my life. But a mare from my past brought me back, and now she won't let me go. So I'm stuck here, trying to make the best of it with ponies that don't understand me, don't even like me. But when something moves in the darkness, and when things go wrong in the cold, dead night, they'll turn to me to try to set things right.

Why? Because once a police pony, always a police pony.
~~
This is a spin-off story to 'Why am I Pinkie Pie?!', and will contain spoilers for that story, but it's not necessary to read that story to understand this one.
Cover art by the talented Conicer
Need more Cinnamon Swirl? Merlos the Mad wrote a fanfic of this story!

There is now a side-story: A Hard Day's Nightmare Night

Big Macintosh goes on strike when he sees he's the one doing all the heavy lifting and harder work at Sweet Apple Acres while his sisters frolic. His idea catches fire throughout Ponyville, and soon every stallion is up in arms! Sexism explodes in the tiny town, it's Stallions on Strike!

My life was simple. I used to be a cellist, of Canterlot's pride and nobility, and a very happy pony with where I was. I should say I landed myself here; it was nopony's fault I agreed with Vinyl on this ludicrous idea. I will, however, blame Vinyl for the guards outside. And for my doctor. And for Princess Luna.

That's all on her.

So, in the off chance that we don't get out of this room in (literally) one piece, my name is Octavia, beginning log: one.

[Log Note: Click on the "initializing" for the formatted GDocs version, which is highly suggested.]

While pursuing a splinter of Hive Fleet Behemoth, Captain Sicarius and the Ultramarines 2nd company are caught in a warp storm that carries them and their prey to an unknown planet. Meanwhile, Princess Luna notices something strange in space that could spell danger for all of Equestria. Swept up in a war between the terrifying Tyranid swarm and the vengeful Ultramarines, the ponies must fight for their lives in a war that spans a galaxy.

Thanks to thirdstring_overlord and GiftedMonster for proofreading my newer chapters. thirdstring_overlord also writes an excellent 40k crossover that needs some fans. Go check it out!

Disclaimer: I do not own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and Warhammer 40k. They are the properties of their respective owners.

"Humans.... Quite possibly the most infuriating mythical creatures in existence. If you ever have the 'luck' to meet a Human in your travels across Equestria, then you must be careful. Humans are extremely powerful creatures, some would say more so than Celestia or Luna, they are also more unpredictable than Discord. They can help you in a tight spot if you're lucky, or play nasty tricks on you if you don't hold the Human's favor. In my time I've seen a Human give a filly pounds upon pounds of gold, and the same one turn greedy ponies into gold. The only one I ever have seen 'face-to-face' was in my earlier years, he helped me repair my wagon when it broke down in Everfree Forest, by fix I mean a whole new one appeared not ten feet away, and the only thing the Human asked for in return was a spindle.... But be warned, never anger a Human, a trick or two in fair game is fine, but if you ever manage to truly anger a Human...... you'll be part of the small number ever to meet non-existence." - Star-Swirl the Bearded.

A silly nonsensical story, not to be taken seriously. Some chapters are not connected to others.

"I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."
-Thomas Jefferson

Three hundred years ago, Equestria tried to assimilate Earth.
They failed. They fled, rather than face justice.
We moved on. We conquered the stars, we made a civilization that spans across the infinite void. We built true harmony between species.
We thought we'd seen the last of Celestia, but as a desperate mobile colony on the fringes of known space came to discover, we were wrong.

It is time to finish what was started by our forefathers.

Based on TCB: Not Alone, by Starman Ghost.

EDIT: Following Starman Ghost's deleting of Not Alone, I've replaced the above link with one leading to a PDF file uploaded to mediafire.

EDIT (14/04/2014): The character of Evening Star was originally created by Starman Ghost. I am using her without his permission.

This story is a sequel to Past Sins

Hearth's Warming is a time for friends and family to come together, celebrate harmony, and welcome the new year. Nyx is looking forward to just this as she rides the train to Canterlot with Spike and Twilight. She's going to meet her extended family for the first time and wants nothing more than to make a good impression. Yet, the sheen of the holidays can't hide the trouble caused by meddling grandparents, relentless reporters, and a paranoid uncle.

The Producers have long been the bane of the Top Gear team's existence, sending them off into the most dangerous and hilarious of situations in the name of good television. Now follow Captain Slow, Hamster and Jezza as they are sent off again into the unknown as some of the first humans to set foot (Or wheel) into the land of Equestria.

Oh, and the Government isn't exactly on board with this one either...

Teen for language and sexual references.

Cloudsdale. Bastion of the Pegasi, linchpin of weather control, home to the Wonderbolts. A magnificent metropolis gracing the skies of Equestria. So what happens when an oblivious human starts stumbling around in a sailplane? As they say, hilarity ensues.

Twilight Sparkle has been convinced that kidnapping YOU is the solution to saving Equestria! While this should be a dream come true (going to Ponyville, meeting Twilight Sparkle, etc..) There's just one catch...

You don't want to be a pony... At least not like this!