The stallions of Ponyville are tired of being second class citizens and doing all the hard work! Down with the mare!
Big Macintosh goes on strike when he sees he's the one doing all the heavy lifting and harder work at Sweet Apple Acres while his sisters frolic. His idea catches fire throughout Ponyville, and soon every stallion is up in arms! Sexism explodes in the tiny town, it's Stallions on Strike!
Big Mac, had had enough. It was his whole life. Every second of it. He was tired of it all. Not of apples, mind you, they were just fine. He was tired of pullin’ the biggest (and only) plow on the farm. He was tired of carrying the giant crates on his back. By the salt of his brow did he and his fathers before him forge this farm from the wild earth, and that was kinda it. The fathers. Anypony could buck a tree and get an apple to fall from it, but no, leave it to the stallions to do all the tough stuff. He can do it, he’s big. He’s a stallion. It’s a stallion’s job to pull the plow, that’s the hard stuff. Don’t worry about that giant crate full of Faust-knows-what-metal bits-of-whatever-machine they were installing wherever. If he complained, he’d only be told that was a stallion’s place on the farm. In life in general.
Meanwhile it felt like every time he turned around, the massive red stallion saw his sisters running off with their respective groups of friends for shenanigans. He was sick and bucking tired of seeing that while he slaved away, day after day, work-work-work. There was more to him! He was good at fancy mathematics! He could smell a thunderstorm hours before it started! He could do… stuff! He could! One morning, after much careful preparation and a super-early breakfast, he made a plan and set it into motion.
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“Hey big sis, what’s ‘strike’ mean?” Applebloom came into the kitchen after grooming for school. Granny Smith and Applejack paused their dish washing at the sink, looking back at her. “I saw it on a sign,” she added quickly, in case the word was bad for some reason. “What’s it mean?”
“Well, it means like when ya hit something real hard. Strike!” Applejack clopped a hoof hard on the kitchen tile, making a loud sound. Applebloom looked puzzled. There was a short silence, and she frowned at the floor for a few moments.
“Does that mean Big Mac’s gonna hit me if ah wander past him for school?” the little filly said in a small voice, looking frightened.
Applejack and Granny Smith looked at each other. “Uh, what?” The orange mare furrowed her brow. “What do y’mean by that?” she cocked her head when Applebloom pointed towards the front of the house. All three ponies went to go see, and Applejack pushed the door open.
“Well Ah’ll be.” Granny smith gaped alongside Applejack.
Big Macintosh was standing in his own front yard, a scowl-y look on his face, holding a picket sign. Clumsily painted on it was ‘Stallion on Strike!’ in big red letters. When he saw they were looking he began to slowly pace back and forth in procession, stomping his hooves. Set up nearby was another sign that said ‘too much hard work!’ and next to it ‘more off time!’ and next to it ‘buy one get one free!’ He gave pause at the last one, cocking his head. Coughing a little, he turned it around so it now read ‘mares should work too!’
“Is he gonna hit me or naw?” Applebloom said, a little frightened.
“No, go on to school now, Applebloom.” Applejack said slowly, not sure what to make of the scene. “Er, you go on and finish the dishes, Granny. I’ll sort all this out.” She reassured the ancient mare. Her little sister scuttled past the massive stallion, and he gave a mild wave when she went. “What in tarnation d’you think yer doin’ out here, Big Mac?” He lowered the sign into her face. Stallion on Strike! “Yeah, ah see that.” She said frownily, pushing it aside so she could see him. “What? You want days off? That’s fine, take a few! Me and Applebloom can keep things going okay for a few days. The stallion moved silently behind the ‘too much hard work’ sign, sitting on his haunches. “You gotta pull your weight around here, you just weigh more!” the mare said stubbornly, frowning at him.
“Nope.” He said, turning his nose up at her. He moved on to his ‘mares should work hard too!’ sign, and planted his butt again.
“Big Mac ah do just as much hard work as you around here! Ah buck trees and feed the chickens and Applebloom does ev’r’thing her liddle body can handle at her age!” Applejack was having none of this. What had gotten into her red sibling all of a sudden? CLANK! She jumped. Big Mac produced his plow from precisely nowhere, dropping it at Applejack’s hooves. Then the straps, the buckles, and the blade sharpeners. “Aww no, that’s stallion’s work, Big Mac! You know mares ain’t sturdy enough to pull that thing around through rocks and junk!” she stomped a hoof.
Feeling rebellious, Big Mac lowered his head and slid his yoke off. She gaped at him. CRASH, it hit the ground. How heavy was that thing? He shuffled his lips in a horsey snort of righteousness, then resumed his pacing about. Applejack was red in the face, she was so angry. How dare he shirk out of his responsibilities! Everypony had their part in this-here farm, and he was gonna do his too if he wanted to live here! He caught her eye and smirked, tilting his head up. “Nope.” He said.
“Big Mac, you go to work like yer supposed ‘ta!” Applejack demanded, stomping a hoof again.
“Nope!” he said snootily, pacing back and forth. The red letters of ‘Stallion on Strike!’ went back and forth like a red cape in front of a bull. Now and then he would glance at her while he paced.
She went over and snatched his sign right of his hoof. “Yeah-huh back to work!” she insisted. He looked mortally offended that she took his sign, and snatched it back. He garruffed loudly, throwing his chest out in a threatening way. She jittered back a little, but held her ground. He tossed his head angrily, turning and resuming his pacing. “You can’t just not work, Big Mac! What’re you gonna do all day if you’re on strike, huh?” she wanted to know. Big Mac’s life was the farm, what could he possibly do with himself if not take care of it? “Just go to town and laze around like a big lump’a’nothin’?”
Big Mac stopped. He pondered for a bit. Narrowed his eyes. Ohh, there was a good question. He worked his mouth a bit… then his expression lit up. “Eyuup!” he turned on his heel, collected his set-up signs, and started away towards Ponyville. Applejack stood there with her mouth a little open, stunned.
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Big Mac had never felt so alive. He looked back and forth. Ponyville plaza was open for business, the marketplace where everypony in town did their shopping in the mornings for food, supplies, and entertainment. He smiled, feeling light as a feather without a yoke or a barrel of apples on his back. “Hey Big Mac!” Mrs. Cake wandered by, balancing a tray of huge rolls on Mr. Cakes back. The poor guy’s skinny legs were quivering. It must’ve been those new ‘pound buns’ Mrs. Cake had named after her son recently. “Setting up the stand late today?” she asked, eyeing the bits of wood he had with him, sticking out of his saddlebags. “Ohh, I bet you made a new one! Isn’t that darling, darling?” she asked her husband.
“Sure thing honey!” Mr. Cake said in a strained way, wobbling about with a tray of heavy food. Big Mac felt pity for the poor guy, following his wife’s every command.
“Nope.” Big Mac threw his chest out.
“Not setting up the stand today? What are you doing at the market, then? Shopping?” she smiled in a friendly way, but there was sommmmething in her tone that was just a little bit prudish. Big Mac didn’t like it at all. What, he couldn’t be at the market if he wasn’t working there selling apples? He snorted.
“Nope.” He repeated.
“Running errands?” Mrs. Cake sure was nosy. Big Mac rolled his eyes, gave up, and turned on of his signs over. She stared at it. “On… on strike?” Mrs. Cake’s face fell for a moment, and she tilted her head. “Why, that’s silly! What’re you on strike from?” Big Mac shrugged in a neutral way. He’d wanted to say his job, but that wasn’t it. Just life in general. He didn’t enjoy constantly toiling away, he wanted more than that. “Well, I hope you find what you’re looking for and get back to it when you’re feeling better!” she waved, leading her tottering husband along with the tray of pound buns.
Big Mac frowned, deeply insulted. Feeling particularly saucy, he went to the nearby ice cream stand, and wasted two whole bits on a cone of vanilla. He wolfed it down shamelessly, thrilling at the naughtiness of spending money on himself. He was getting some on his nose and paused to lick it off. Hmm. Havin’ a day to himself wasn’t so bad, but he wanted more days like this. He bought another ice cream cone, just to be a buckin’ rebel. Snarfing it down and slurping rather noisily, he walked through the market to peer around.
Everywhere he looked, he… he kind of saw the same situation. Stallion’s moving the heavy loads. Stallions up on the roofs doing repairs. All the guards, putting their lives on the line to preserve the peace? All of them were stallions. Big Mac couldn’t recall having EVER seen a female guard, come to think of it. He turned his head wildly back and forth, peering about with wide eyes. Stallions having angry shoving competitions after the mares had started an argument. Stallions struggling hard at this and that and another. It was so… so sexist! He couldn’t believe it! How had he not seen this before?! He sat hard at a picnic table, just trying to drink it all in as he messily ate the rest of his ice cream cone.
He tried looking at the mares instead. He saw mares behind most of the counters at the market. The mayor was a mare. Ponyville’s main school teacher, the librarian, the vet, the weather ponies, tailor, chefs—all mares! Why were the stallions doing all the physical labor while the mares basked in the glow of the leadership positions in the community?!
Big Mac’s mouth fell open in awe. It was a conspiracy! It was sexist! It was—! “Hey Big Mac, shouldn’t you be plowin’ about this time of day?” a random mare stopped to ask. He rounded on her, snapping his mouth closed. “You’re usually so on-time with your stuff, I can practically set a watch by your day!” she chuckled. “So how come you’re not hitched up, handsome? Today your birthday?” she smiled, wanting to know. Plowing? Hitched up? His BIRTHDAY?! In an instant the red pony slapped her right upside her fool head! She yapped, startled back and almost crashing into a cherry stand behind her. Big Mac was startled at himself, his eyes wide. Why had he done that? Why did it feel so good? It was like some pressure had been released from within him. “Wh-what was that for?!” she didn’t make to hit him back, but was very upset. Who would hit a pony like Big Mac and hope to do any damage, really? Plus, you didn’t hit a stallion. You just didn’t. Ponyville had so few as it was. It was taboo. “D-did I say something wrong?” she said, soft-eyed and apologetic at having offended the handsome creature.
Big Mac suddenly saw his mission laid out before him. It was wrong. It was all wrong. This entire town was all wrong, and he wouldn’t stand for it! Clambering up from his picnic table, he threw out his chest and heaved his sign high. Ponies all around turned to look as he slammed it into the ground like a soldier planting a flag on an enemy hill. Stallion on Strike!
Mr. Cake struggled along with three heavy sacks of cooking mix on his back. “Whew!” he let them slide off and onto a series of crates. He looked around, smiling happily that the store room was finally stocked and ready for the month. Hearts and Hooves day would be coming up soon, they would need to be ready. The knobby knee’d stallion checked his little clipboard after wiping his brow, checking off the last couple of boxes. His labors done, he sighed aloud.
Straightening his big striped bowtie and nodding to himself, he turned about and shut the door. “Still up, honey?” Mrs. Cake was leaning on the doorframe of the front room, smiling lovingly. “You can do some of that tomorrow, you know.”
“It’s okay, buttercup.” He smiled tiredly. “The more I do today, the less there is to do tomorrow.” He leaned and kissed her cheek as he went by, and she chuckled. Turning, she gave his tail a playful tug. He squawked, jittering away with a blushing laugh. “I’m gonna hit the shower, I’ll come to bed when I’m dry.” He told her, disappearing into the bathroom.
“Tell Pinkie Pie goodnight for me.” Mrs. Cake turned, trotting up the stairs to the bedroom. Checking briefly on the twins, she tossed the sheets back and clambered in. Heaving a great, content sigh at her soft bed, she lay staring at the ceiling for awhile. Ponyville often went to bed when it got dark, there was little reason to roam around the tiny village. Which, to be honest, was a great policy. I made sure everypony got enough rest every evening, and those that stayed up were usually doing relaxing things like reading, artwork, or lounging about in heavenly baths. Nopony was hard to please, that way. (Well, Twilight Sparkle aside, but that poor mare was always up at all hours studying.)
A short while later, there was a firm knocking on Sugarcube Corner’s front door. Mrs. Cake ignored it. They had a sign that said ‘closed’, that should’ve been enough. But no, the intruder kept on knocking. Growing annoyed after a time, she rose and went to see who it was. She passed the bathroom, cheekily peeking on her husband in the shower, and was smiling by the time she reached the door.
The pony at the door was Cheerilee, the school teacher. When the door opened, she smiled a bit. “Cup Cake, sorry to come see you so late, but I had to talk to you about something. It’s really important.”
“What’s the matter, Cheerilee?” she came outside, leaving the door open a crack.
“You know Big Macintosh, don’t you? The stallion from Sweet Apple Acres? He was picketing today, in the middle of the Ponyville Square!”
“Oh yes, he showed me one of his signs. Did he settle somewhere and make a spectacle of himself?” Mrs. Cake said, frowning a bit. The mares stepped off of the stoop so they could breathe a bit and not be mooshed together in the doorway.
“Well, he doesn’t talk much, so it’s hard for him to do something like that. But, I was a little concerned, you know.” Cheerilee said thoughtfully, scratching her head. “I saw him slap somepony from a distance, I think he really is upset about something at home. I’m not sure.” The teacher said thoughtfully, scratching her chin.
“Slapped somepony?” Mrs. Cake gasped, raising a hoof to her mouth.
“Yeah. I dunno where that came from. You don’t think he’s being… you know… abused at home, do you?” Cheerilee said worriedly. “I mean, I wasn’t close enough to hear the conversation, but he’s usually so docile and hardworking.”
“Ohh, that’s a good point.” Mrs. Cake pondered for a time. If a mare had done something bad enough to warrant a slap from a stallion, there was really no helping that. One might squeal for assault, but really you’d have to arrest every stallion alive if that was a criminal offense. Pfft. Still, it was worrisome. Both mares hmmm’d for a moment, thoughtfully frowning skyward as they tried to think.
“I was thinking maybe of buying him a small loaf of banana bread or something.” Cheerilee said. “I know he’s not joined a herd yet, and thought well… maybe he’s lonely or something?” The purple mare tilted her head at her friend.
“Well that’s true, he’s not in a herd. Maybe he just needs attention?” Cup Cake wondered aloud, scuffing her hoof on the ground a few times. “What about Twilight Sparkle’s herd? Five mares and no stallion, that has to be tough. Or maybe Vinyl Scratch’s Herd? I heard that they’d gotten a new stallion to move near here for the next couple of seasons.”
“He doesn’t like noise, though. The poor thing lives on a farm.” Cheerilee shook her head. They pondered for a time about setting up the barrel-chested crimson stallion up with somepony. If he was acting up and picketing and slapping ponies, clearly something needed attending to. “What about your herd, huhm? I know it’s just you and Carrot and Pinkie, but could you use another stallion?”
“Cheerilee! Hahaha!” Mrs. Cake had the decency to blush. More than one stallion to a herd, that was just silly! “It could be something else, we don’t even know what’s making him upset beyond what’s written on his signs. He can’t just NOT work or do a stallion’s job, it has to be something more than that.” There was another long pause of thoughtful staring at the sky. Luna had painted a wonderful band of stars across the northern horizon tonight, and it was nice to philosophize over. “Stallions are so complicated.” Grumbled Mrs. Cake with a smirk.
“Honey?” A small voice called from the doorway, making both mares turn. Mr. Cake, a towel over his head, was standing on the stoop. “Oh hey, Cheerilee. What brings you out here?”
“Go back inside sweetheart. We’re having mare talk.” Mrs. Cake went and kissed his cheek, herding the damp stallion back inside before he caught a cold. Poor thing, always thinking of her and nopony else. “I’ll come to bed in just a little bit, I promise.” She bade him, nuzzling briefly. Her husband smiled a bit, nodding and turning to go back to bed. It was only then that Mrs. Cake noticed he was wearing a pair of long, silken socks on his back legs. Bright orange, like his mane. “Oh.” Came out of her mouth before she could stop herself. He smirked over his shoulder, giving her a sultry look. One sock slipped from its tightness down around his ankle as he went up the stairs. Mrs. Cake smiled despite herself, watching his adorable tooshie. She turned to go back outside, but found Cheerilee standing in the doorway, smiling a little widely. “Eyes down here, Cheerilee.” She said a little possessively.
“Sorry, haha.” Cheerilee blushed, looking at the floor quickly. Mrs. Cake fixed her with a scowl. Cheerilee was NOT in line to be in the Cake herd, she shouldn’t have been eyeballing Carrot like that! Rude mare! “I didn’t mean to oogle.” She quickly added, tapping one hoof bashfully.
“Uh huh, yeah.” Mrs. Cake herded her back outside and shut the door meaningfully-firmly behind her. Standing out on the stoop with her again, she spoke. “Weren’t you and Big Macintosh a thing before? What happened?” she turned the conversation back to Big Mac.
“Love poison. Nothing real.” Cheerilee said sadly. “Not that I’d mind. He’s very strong, docile, and not bad looking either.” Both mares giggled a bit. “All the things I like in a stallion!”
“So? You didn’t want to maybe try for something there?” Mrs. Cake said, leaning on the door a bit. Cheerilee looked away shyly. “Oh, I see. Too much to handle, huhm?”
“Oh no no no, he’s out of my league.” Cheerilee said with a self-conscious little smile, shaking her head. “There is this local guard I’m kind of eyeing lately, though. His name is Steel Wing.” She giggled a bit.
“Ohhh, do tell.” Mrs. Cake smirked. The pair of them chatted for perhaps another half hour or so before parting. Mrs. Cake made plans to make a banana bread loaf for Big Mac, and that was that.
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Mr. Cake rose early the next morning. He turned over and rather bashfully collecting his socks, the silken saddle, and little hat he’d worn for his wife the night before. It wasn’t as though he wore them for very long, but it was a little embarrassing the day after. Stuffing them quickly in a drawer he promised to wash them properly later. Leaning over his wife, who was still asleep, he stroked her mane a couple of times until her eyes fluttered. “Mornin’ honey.” He whispered. “Time to get up…” he leaned and kissed her lightly.
“Mhhhh-h-hh, coffee.” Mrs. Cake smooooched him, stroking his withers before rising and wobbling up onto her hooves.
“I’ll get that, you get a nice shower. I’ll get breakfast started, so don’t dawdle too long!” he said sweetly, nudging her towards the bathroom. Mrs. Cake smiled, sleepy-eyed. What would she do without her beautiful stallion in the mornings? No telling. As her husband scampered off to the kitchen, she cocked her head back. She could already hear Pinkie Pie moving about upstairs. The bubblegum pink mare would no doubt be down soon as well.
Later, Mr. Cake was setting the table when a flash of pink rubbed up against him. “Mornin’ Carrot!” Pinkie kissed his cheek, bouncing along until she found her spot at the table. Unlike his herd’s alpha mare, Pinkie was very much a morning pony and always seemed bright and alert in the earliest parts of the day.
Mr. Cake blushed and nodded, “Mornin’ Pinkie.” He took the moment to nuzzle over her withers, chuckling at the soft purr she made in response. When they parted he leaned to set a crisp blooming-carrot dish on the table. (it was like a blooming onion, but with a really, REALLY fat carrot) He checked the five different dipping sauces to make sure they weren’t frozen from being in the fridge overnight. They were perfect.
Mrs. Cake came in with the twins after a time, showered and more awake. Carrot brought her coffee, and the five of them shared breakfast. The twins were of course very messy, and the skinny stallion spent most of his time trying to make the little foals eat. He could only reach over now and again to grab a tiny carrot for himself, dip it in something and crunch noisily. The two mares, of course, finished much sooner. Without so much as a thank you, they were out of the dining room and off to do their morning routines, chatting animatedly. Just like every morning. He wouldn't mind rotating with them now and then, maybe THEY could feed the foals and do kitchen work, and HE could make a lovely velvet cake or something for the store's window display?
Mr. Cake sighed. He’d have to give the foals a bath, clean up the kitchen, put away left overs… eww there was a new stain on the edge of the table and nearby on the floor. Something must've dripped. His normal day of chores and such hadn’t even started yet, and already he had a list. Grumbling a bit, he kissed each foal on the head and wished his wife would help for once. He was always left in charge of such things, being a stallion and all, and the two mares in his herd were up front cooking up sweets. He wished he could make something nice. He wasn’t called Carrot Cake because of his scrubbing skills, or his ability to carry heavy sacks of flour on his back. He yearned to practice his art for once, but he couldn’t. He was just a stallion. Mr. Cake sighed, shaking his head and setting to work.
Perhaps twenty minutes passed, Carrot trying to get the foals to eat more of their breakfasts. They were fussy, but did eat thank goodness. “O-oh yes, he’s right back there, go ahead! I’m sure he could use some help, big guy.” he heard his wife say. Carrot perked when Big Macintosh leaned into the private kitchen. The big stallion cocked his head, surveying the scene. Destroyed, messy breakfast table, two sticky and fussy foals, wrinkled newspaper and half-consumed mug of coffee… it was a mess. Had they left it all to him? Disgraceful.
“Sorry about the mess.” Mr. Cake said, rather embarrassed at the state of things. “Early to rise, here at the Cake residence.” Big Mac worked his mouth a bit while the smaller stallion went back and forth to clean up after the other members of his household, frowning a bit. Hrm. He decided to help Carrot, if only to get the chance to converse with him for a bit. “Oh, thanks Big Mac!” he said when Big Mac grabbed a rag to help clean off the table with.
When the twin’s faces had been scrubbed of half their breakfast, the kitchen re-ordered nicely, and everything else cleaned up— Big Mac made his move. He went and stood beside the window over the sink, motioning for his friend to come over and look. When Carrot was standing next to him, he pushed the little curtain over. Taking a deep breath to speak a rare sentence, the crimson stallion spoke, “Ah gotta show you somethin’, lookit this…” he started pointing out everything he’d seen the day before.
Mr. Cake stood there, positively spellbound as Big Mac showed him everything that was wrong with the world. Wrong with the town he lived in. He'd felt it in his heart of hearts, but he'd never been brave enough to form the thoughts in his head, or question the status quo. Now, here was a big strong stallion shoving his nose in it, making him grasp it. The wool was pulled back from his eyes. “How… how did I not see? I thought it was just me... I thought I was the only one like this...” he whispered, slowly undoing his white apron and setting it on the counter next to him. He looked over at his friend, who nodded with a serious frown. Over the course of the next hour (while Carrot cleaned and arranged the store room for the day, of course), Big Mac recruited him to the cause.
It was nearly noon when Mrs. Cake was cuddling with the twins a bit-- she just happened to glance out the front window of Sugarcube Corner and jolted to a stop. “What the…?” Mr. Cake and Big Macintosh were outside holding picket signs. Stallions on Strike! Mrs. Cake narrowed her eyes angrily. Big Mac was NOT getting that banana bread now.
Spike was perched atop the table in the middle of the library, smiling to an audience that wasn’t there. He was dressed in his bright pink cooking apron, holding a feather duster and pretending to get at a dusty corner when the time called for it, or if somepony came by. He glanced down at the book that was propped open in front of him on the table, then held his duster high and softly whispered, “She should have died hereafter; There would have been a time for such a word. Tomorrow, tomorrow, and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day!” he recited without looking down at the book again even once. He smiled proudly at himself, mumbling over the next few lines as his invisible audience looked on with fascination. He imagined his apron was a fancy-stitched shawl, his handkerchief headpiece a fancy, feathered hat. He was on stage, he was the star! He—!
“Spiiiike!” Twilight called, tearing up out of the basement. The little dragon hopped down quickly, snapped the book shut and was halfway to the shelf when his mistress/mother figure emerged. “I need that book on plants, molds and fungi from the middle era!” she said, rushing from shelf to shelf fretfully. “My potion will never work without it!”
Spike rolled his eyes, sauntering to a shelf and pulling it easily. How did he know where it was so fast? Twilight re-shelved the whole darn library at least once a week. Given that Rainbow Dash didn’t crash through the window again, or any other shenanigans, that is. Then it would be more. The purple dragon was small in stature, but brilliant in mind. “Here it is, Twilight.” He said, offering it up.
“Thanks!” Twilight grabbed it and rushed back downstairs into her lab.
“*Hhh*, you’re welcome.” Spike grumbled. He followed her downstairs to see just what she was up to this time around. “What’re you making Twilight?” he asked, setting his feather duster on the stairs.
“It’s a potion that can change the color of your eyes.” Twilight said, flipping pages as she went. Squinting over the text and refusing to use her reading glasses as usual, the young mare got a glass jar from the shelf and emptied the contents into her brewing stand.
“Why would you wanna make one of those?” Spike wanted to know, peering over the bubbling mix. Twilight quickly shuffled him back with a hoof, scowling a little. “I mean uh, that does sound fascinating, but… why?”
“Same as mane-coloring or fetlock care.” Twilight said, waving a few fumes towards the vent so it didn’t stink up the whole place. Getting her stirring rod, she turned it over a few times. “Some ponies just want something different than what they have naturally.” She said absently.
“Are you making that for yourself?” Spike said uncertainly. “You look great like you are!”
“Spike!” Twilight barked, mildly embarrassed. “Y-you… have you finished your dusting and all that? Did you sweep the stoop like I asked? We’ve both got chores you know!” she steered the conversation at him, red touching her cheeks.
“Er, w-well…” Spike said, hiding his duster behind his back.
“Go on, now. This is mare’s work. Not for baby dragons to worry over.” She favored him with a kiss on the forehead, herding him back towards the stairs. “Just call me when lunch is ready, and we’ll have it out on the balcony, okay?” she smiled, trying to be kindly again.
“Oh. Uh, okay.” Spike felt himself being drafted into making lunch. Again. He trudged back up the stairs, looking over his shoulder as Twilight got an eyedropper’s full of something to add to the mix. He sighed, making sure the basement door was wide open so Twilight didn’t suffocate from the fumes of her experiment or something. Opening the library’s front door to allow a cross-breeze, he went back to work.
Dusting. Cleaning. Shaking out the rugs. Starting lunch. Making the beds. Changing the laundry… pretending NOT to see the long silky socks in one of Twilight’s drawers that was occupied by something phallic-shaped. He took the curtains down and shook those out too. Got the mail. Swept the stoop. Triple checked the stacks for anything that might’ve escaped a shelf.
The baby dragon sighed, slowing and coming back to his Shakespony book. He wished he could… act. He really did. The Hearths Warming play had really opened his eyes to the idea, and he’d never felt so alive as when he was on stage. He’d asked Twilight to let him join an acting group, but no, they travelled and she couldn’t have him running around with strangers. So, he went to the local school to ask about their drama club. Cheerilee had appeared a few days later with a permission slip for Twilight to sign, but the lavender mare had turned that down too. With all the chores, adventures with their friends, letters to and from the Princess—he surely didn’t have the time! What if he belched up a royal letter in the middle of a performance? How silly would that make him look? So, Spike ventured to the local theatre group. They did ‘Shakespony in Summer’, and they never hopped towns. That would be better, right? A local group? Again, Twilight had headed him off, though. Those were grown ponies and it was for actors eighteen and older. Since Spike was only sixteen in pony years, and a baby dragon to boot, he wasn’t qualified. It wasn’t fair.
Spike wilted, taking off his handkerchief head-tie, putting it on the table. Glumly, he went and got his Shakespony book again. He flipped it open to where he was. Even with all the chores and other things to do, he could still dream, right? “Tomorrow, tomorrow and tomorrow…” he murmured softly. He found his place and went a bit further. “To the last syllable of recorded time. And all our yesterdays have lighted fools,” He leaned on the table, a bored expression on his face as he tried to sink into the text and forget what was around him. “The way to dusty death.” The purple dragon sank into a chair. “Macbeth sure knows how to be depressing, huh?” he asked no one at all. He understood the text, even having not gone to school at all. Living in a library gave him a sharp, brilliant mind. Macbeth’s ultimate conclusion about life was that it was brief, devoid of meaning, and full of struggles. He sighed, flipping the book closed. Perhaps Macbeth wasn’t the best play to be reading right now, with his mood. He checked in the oven, getting the little woven basket meant for outside meals.
He wasn’t unhappy with his life, Twilight took very good care of him... sort of? Well, he lived with her in her home, anyway. Most of the time he was making the meals and doing the laundry and such while she went on with her scholarly pursuits. She left him behind when she went on adventures with her friends, most of the time, too. They bordered somewhere between mother and son, and brother and sister. But more and more as he grew up, Spike began to feel less fulfilled. It felt more like master and homebody. He wanted more. He wanted to be able to do what he wanted, not just take care of the purple mare downstairs. She wasn’t unkind or mean to him, but… but he just wanted more. Why wasn’t he allowed to go to school? Or take acting lessons? Or join a summer camp program and do plays? The Hearths Warming play had been a cruel thing, in a way, showing him the most fun he could ever have— then never letting him have it again. Oh buck it. He was unhappy. He was really unhappy. But what could he do? He was too small, too young, too everything. He was stuck. Feeling helpless, Spike rested his chin in his hands, heaving a deep and depressed sigh. Some days were better than others, but he wanted to be more than just a homebody. If he were a stallion, he’d at least have gone to school and made more friends. If he were a mare, he could do pretty much whatever he wanted. And, until a couple of hundred years when by and he was a giant of a dragon… he was stuck here. That was a long time. Until then, he wasn’t anything. He was just… just the faithful assistant. “*Hhhhh*…” he sighed aloud, drawing little circles on the table with the pad of his finger.
Something in the kitchen dinged, snapping Spike out of his thoughts. He rose, coughing a bit and wiping his eyes. Quickly gathering up the tomato lasagna he’d made, he put it in a nice insulated pan and got plates, forks, plenty of napkins, drinks, and everything else needed. Quickly going and setting everything out on the upper balcony of the Golden Oaks library, he turned to go fetch Twilight Sparkle. But something caught his eye.
Big Macintosh, Mr. Cake, and Caramel were stomping down the street single file. They looked pretty angry. Tilting his head, Spike saw they were carrying signs on their backs and holding them as well. ‘Stallions on Strike!’, ‘We Demand Equal Rights!’, ‘Mares Should Work Hard Too!’, ‘Too Much Hard Work!’, and ‘Stallions are not Slaves! Equal Pay!’ were among them. What in the hay were they doing? Spike watched them file past the library and go up to a random stallion. He was a great, muscled thing with tiny wings and blood red eyes. They chatted at him for a time while Spike watched. Then, they turned and started pointing things out.
Mr. Cake showed the muscled stallion different ponies all around them on the street, pointed to nearby businesses, then towards Canterlot, and all sorts of things. Spike grew curious, scratching his head. The massive stallion’s mouth fell open, and his expression turned shocked. He facehoofed and made some violent gestures. The group of stallions gave him a sign that read ‘Down with the Mare!’ and he waved it around wildly. Spike chuckled a little, bit then frowned a bit as his eyes slid over the signs again. “Mares do do hard work, don’t they? AJ works on a farm, and Rarity runs her own shop…” he decided to go down and talk to them, and see just what they were up to.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
“Spiiiiike!” Twilight came up the stairs several hours later, “It’s almost evening! What happened to lunch?! I lost track of time, but now I’m starv… ing?” she emerged into the main library room, only to find it empty. The front door was open. The kitchen was no occupied, and there was no baby dragon to speak of. “Spike? Where’d you go?” she made a quick circuit through all the rooms in the tree-house, and even poked her head out all the windows. No Spike. “Did he go somewhere?” she wondered. “Where could he possibly have to go? He’s a baby dragon!” she rolled her eyes a bit, smiling. “I bet he went to go see Rarity, haha!” she shook her head, getting her saddlebags to go and fetch her wayward charge. She loved the little guy, but he really needed to stop chasing mares that much older than him. Or mares in general, really. Hmm. Well, that sounded a little racist, but she meant well. The poor guy would outlive anypony by hundreds of years. It wasn’t proper.
Twilight didn’t get much more than a block from her home when she spotted an odd spectacle in the street. There was a group of stallions standing in front of an ice cream stand, passing out ice cream to each other. Big Macintosh, Mr. Cake, Snowflake, Caramel, and… Spike? Since when did he hang out grown ponies like that? Cocking her head, she made a bee-line for them. “Oh hey, there she is. Hey, Twilight.” Spike said from atop Big Mac’s back. The herd of males turned and fixed her with rather pointy stares.
The purple mare stopped short, cocking her head. “Uh, hehe, hey Spike. I was wondering where you wandered off to…” she said, lifting a hoof like she might bolt from all the glares.
“I’m here striking with the guys.” Spike held up a mini-sign that read ‘Representation In Local Government Based on Gender Ratios As Voted by Local Democracies Under the Diarchy!’ Twilight puzzled over the rather complex statement for a moment, and when she’d worked it out she stared at the other signs.
“Striking? From what? You don’t have a paying job.” The purple mare said with a frown.
“That’s right! I don’t!” he stood angrily, feeling tall on Big Mac’s back. The other stallions gasped in shock. He was Twilight’s faithful assistant and he didn’t even get paid for all his work?! “I guess that makes me a slave, huh Twilight?!”
“A slave?!” Twilight said, her brow knitting in worry. “That’s not true! You’re my assistant! I rely on you more than anypony! What would I do without you?”
“Cook your own meals, do you own laundry, and actually do a librarian’s work, for ONCE?” Spike said a little nastily. Twilight gaped at him, more than a little stunned. The combined glares of the four stallions with him didn’t help either.
“What?” Twilight frowned. “I have work too, you know. I’m the Princess’ protégé and a research scientist. I don’t have time to cook and clean and do all the rest of the little things around the house.” The glares only deepened. “What?!” she asked reproachfully. Going on the defensive at last, she leaned back. “That’s what I have an assistant for!”
“Ah-HAH! She admits it!” Mr. Cake shouted. “Slave-driver!”
“C-come on Spike, let’s get back home. We missed lunch and I’m sure we can find something in the kitchen you can make to eat and talk this whole thing o—!”
“Cuz stallions belong in the kitchen, am I right?!” Caramel said angrily, prodding Twilight sharply in the chest. The purple mare jittered back, spooked. The gathering of stallions glared at her. Mr. Cake looked particularly upset about the claim. “In the kitchen and out in the muddy fields, right?!”
Big Mac nodded along, patting Spike’s head in a protective way without taking his eyes of Twilight Sparkle. Then, she’d had quite enough. Her patience had run out. Twilight Sparkle scowled angrily, “You’re coming home with me, young dragon, or so help me—!”
“YEAAAHHHH?!” Demanded Snowflake, sauntering up to her and snorting steam from his muzzle. By then, several ponies on the street had stopped to stare. Twilight looked back and forth nervously. The group moved back a bit, away from Twilight, but she pressed forward. She would not be letting them just take her charge away with them.
“You give him back!” Twlight shouted, trying to force her way through the throng. “Spike come back here! You belong with me!” she said a little desperately. “What’s going on?! Why’re you acting like this?!”
“Cuz you won’t even let me go to school!” Spike said over his shoulder to Twilight. “Cuz you won’t let me act! And make me do all the household chores! And run off with your friends, without me, all the time!” He traded signs with Big Mac. Stallions on Strike! All the stress and depression was flowing out of his tiny purple body as rage, now.
“Give him back!” Twilight teleported in front of the group with a crack of parted air. They moved around to one side of her. “He’s my responsibility! I don’t want him hanging around you guys if you’re out to cause trouble.” She gestured to their inflammatory signs.
“I’m fine right where I am!” The baby dragon shrieked, clenching his tiny fists. “You don’t OWN me!” Spike said savagely. More and more ponies were turning their heads at the bachelor herd. One or two were peeking out from second story windows, and one stuck his head out of a barber shop where he worked.
The group of stallions kept shifting to get away from Twilight Sparkle, grumbling angrily as she always got in the way. They turned and murmured at each other. Could they stampede through her? Nah, she might get hurt. Could they just stay in one spot? Nah, that was boring. Couldn’t they just—?
Twilight’s eyes lidded, and her brow drew down into a deeper sort of anger. Possessive, darker anger. Her face went red and her temper snapped. “Give. Him. BACK!” Twilight’s horn exploded with raw magic and blasted Snowflake square in the chest! The massive stallion yapped like a kicked puppy as he tumbled and smacked into a street sign. His nose was bloodied and dripping on the ground. His eyes were in swirls and he twitched a few times.
There was icy silence.
The bachelor herd stopped to stare in shock. Spike leapt down to make sure he was still alive. He turned and looked up at his mistress with scared, soft eyes. Twilight instantly regretted what she’d done. The ponies all around them on the street stared in horror. “First blood, what do you know.” Caramel whispered icily, turning his glare on Twilight. He knelt down on all four knees to help Snowflake back up. “I was sure this wasn’t gonna go to violence. Guess I was wrong.” He checked Snowflake for any more injuries, but he seemed okay. Heaving the white stallion to his hooves again took some effort, though.
Twilight was mortified, but she could already hear the clanking of armor rushing up behind her. “O-oh my gosh, I-I’m sorry!” The purple mare was grabbed and cuffed by a pair of royal guards. “I-I didn’t mean it!” she said.
“You’re under arrest for assault with magic!” One guard told her.
“Takes a reeeeeal strong mare to beat on a stallion, huh?!” the other sneered.
The purple mare was mortified. “W-wait! I’m sorry! I-It just happened! I didn’t mean it! Snowflake’s fine! Lookit him, he’s fine!” Snowflake was scrubbing at his nose, quite alright to tell the truth. But it didn’t hide the stain of blood he’d gotten on one of his legs from rubbing his nose. Twilight was dragged away, kicking and shrieking. “I-I was just---! I was just---!” she was sobbing by then, and couldn’t finish her sentence. “Let me go! Let me go! Spike, I love you! Spiiiiiike!” Her voice faded with distance as they took her away.
The bachelor herd pressed in around Spike, patting his head a few times. There were tears in the little dragon’s eyes. “Twilight, why’d you go and do that…?” He mumbled, climbing up onto Big Mac’s back again.
“I guess that’s what happens when the mare doesn’t get her way, huh?” Mr. Cake murmured with disapproval as Twilight shrank into the distance of the end of the street. He glanced over, spotting his wife in the crowd. His heart stung a little. But, he couldn’t waver now. He’d known things would get bad before they got better. Big Mac would lead them. “What do we do now?” he asked the crimson pony.
Big Mac pondered for a time. What DID they do now? The spark had been struck. No doubt the entire town would be ablaze about them within a few days. He cocked his head, then nodded at nothing at all. He gestured and, with Spike on his back, led his odd little all-male herd down the street. They were on strike, so now with a group ready it was time to go make their demands.
Town Hall was quite a scene, for many stallions had gathered outside it to see their town’s leader. Madam Mayor Mare stepped out onto the little porch where she’d been summoned by her secretary. The group of maybe thirty stallions spotted her and broke into angry, wild shouting as soon as she came out. “Oh jeez…” Mayor mumbled. They waved signs at her, stomped their big hooves and hopped back and forth like hungry dogs.
“RABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE!” the crowd roared back and forth, flailing wildly.
Mayor Mare had heard of this group of odd ponies of the past couple of days. The size of their organization had grown exponentially, and was still growing rapidly. In a mere week, they’d gone from nothing to over thirty, and the result was startling. She put up her hooves, going to the podium that had been set up for her. There was lots of shushing and jitter-stomping as the group quieted itself. Nervous and excitable stallions were always so hard to deal with. “As mayor of Ponyville, I greet you!” she said like she was meeting a group of aliens. She put up her hooves again before they started shouting. “I have been told that you are unhappy with your… situations, and I want you all to know we will do our best to help you! Now uh… what did you want, exactly?” she asked.
“AUUUUGH!” Every stallion and one dragon rolled his eyes, throwing his arms up at the sky in frustration. She was aware of them, but didn’t know what they wanted?! “RAAAAAABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE!” The signs started coming out, waving wildly back and forth.
Mayor Mare squinted as she read over the words. “Equal pay… more days off… foalsitters on Sundays… rights to leadership in government?” she cocked her head, but kept reading. “Down with the Mare?” she looked offended. “Hey now, I certainly do my best to run Ponyville!” Madam Mare gave a grumble, turning and trying to compose herself a bit better. “Don’t you stallions think most of these things are things you should be able to handle with your own herds?”
“We’re tired of being second-class!” said one stallion in guard armor.
“We’re tired of raising the foals and staying in the kitchen!”
“And out in the fields!” said a stallion from the carrot family.
“And pulling all the trains to Canterlot!” said an engineer stallion.
“I wanna play music in a rock band! YEAHHH!” Snowflake produced a little flute, waving it like a weapon. Nopony dared tell him that flutes were not played in rock bands.
“I wanna bake cakes!” Mr. Cake said, rearing a bit. “I’m always stuck cleaning and moving boxes!”
“I wanna act!” said Spike from atop Big Mac’s back. “But I always have to do Twilight’s housework and most of the library’s chores!”
“We want less taxes for our lower wages!”
“We’re tired of being left to clean house and do all the hard work!”
Madam Mare tilted her head, trying to take it all in. Where had this firestorm erupted from? “Now now, everypony! This is a lot of completely different problems!” she tried to maintain the nervous smile on her face. She wasn’t very good at dealing with big angry crowds. “Shouldn’t you be talking with your alpha mares and other herdmates? Setting a good example for your foals?” she tried diplomacy, though not very well.
“We keep getting shut down! We’re tired of talking to the mares! We demand action!” said Lyra from the crowd. There was hush. The bachelor herd turned and stared at her, tilting their heads. When had Lyra joined an all-stallion protest? She went hot in the face, hunching a little like somepony might hit her. “Bon Bon doesn’t even let me go out with friends after dark…” she mumbled in a small voice, humbled by all the attention. They looked at each other, then at her. There was some murmuring back and forth. Same problem, just a same-gender couple? Mhhhh…. Made sense, yeah. That was fine. A random stallion put a protest sign into her hoof. “Rabble!” she said with righteous authority, raising the sign high.
““RAAAAAABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE!” the stallions instantly recruited a singular mare, joining her rabble with theirs.
“Please! Please everypony, just stay calm!” Madam Mare pulled at her collar a little. “If you want to make changes in your lives, you just have to petition like everypony else!” Again there was quiet. The stallions looked back and forth. Petition? “You know, a signed document signed by many ponies saying you want something?” Madam Mayor offered.
“How many signatures do we need to change a law or something? For REAL action to happen?” a stallion in the crowd demanded to know.
“About twenty-five thousand signatures are needed to petition the crown. Not to mention a spokespony to represent the group.” Madam Mare said in a small voice.
“AUUUUUUGH!” The entire crowd roared, throwing up their hooves and shouting at the sky about the unfairness of it all. “RAAAAAABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE!” They stomped and threw their signs and bucked wildly about while the mayor hid behind her podium, smiling a bit bashfully.
“Standing around on the front lawn of the town hall shouting ‘rabble-rabble-rabble’ isn’t helping your cause!” Mayor Mare said, trying to be heard over the shouting, stomping ponies. “Go home to your wives and herdmates! Talk to them!”
“She’s right!” Somepony shouted. “You heard her, everypony! Twenty-five thousand stallions, right here, to sign a petition! Let’s make it happen!” There were roars of approval back and forth. Mayor Mare suddenly went as pale as a sheet. Twenty-five thousand stallions, right here in Ponyville?!
“What have I done…?” she whispered, staring out over the protesters as they began to assign towns and cities to one another.
“We’ll need a spokespony too.” Spike said, sitting on Big Mac’s back to think. “No offense, Big Macintosh, I know you started all this, but we need somepony who has a way with words.”
“Eyuup.” Big Mac nodded in agreement.
“Somepony of high station,” Spike mumbled, stroking his chin thoughtfully. “Somepony big and tough, who’s not afraid of anything. Somepony that can represent all the oppressed stallions of Equestria, who’ll take our petition to Canterlot for the Princesses to see!” Big Mac hmm’d, deep in thought. He couldn’t think of such a pony. “I know!” Spike suddenly said, thrusting a finger into the air. “I know exactly who to get!”
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
“Stallions on Strike?” Shining Armor mumbled over his morning coffee, turning over the Canterlot Caller. Flipping the newspaper all the way open. He read aloud, “The stallions of Ponyville have quit their jobs en masse, demanding equal rights and pay for their time and efforts. Many are demanding job changes and other radical law creation to equalize the two genders, at least in their area.” The white unicorn cocked his head, sipping his coffee.
“Pass that over here.” Princess Celestia said with interest. Her magic grasped the article, and she scanned down it. Princess Cadance and Princess Luna leaned from either side of her. The royal breakfast table was quiet for a time while they took turns reading it. Shining Armor marveled, perhaps for the millionth time, how lucky he was to be the stallion of the alicorn herd. The ONLY alicorn herd.
“Well, that’s certainly something.” Cadance said, taking the paper when Celestia was done with it. The front page had a rather violent-looking action shot of a group of shouting stallions. They were waving signs and their mouths were open mid-yell. “They do look really angry.” She said with concern.
“Equal rights and pay?” Luna scoffed just a bit, rolling her eyes. “Mares are paid more because we must do the wooing of the stallions for our herds to grow.” She got dirty looks from Celestia and Cadance both. Shining Armor got very busy with his sugared hay cereal. He was soldier-enough to know when to pick his battles. He stayed quiet. “Call us a liar, Tia, Cadance.” Luna took the paper and scanned the article herself. “We pay for the dinner-dates, gifts and such…” she trailed off to read.
Shining Armor smiled a little painfully. He knew she was right, but he did hate to see her purse her lips like that. It meant she was stressed. Princess Luna was by far his most tempermental herdmate and lover, but he did his best to soothe her when he could. Ever since Cadance had married him and brought him into their herd he’d had to carefully balance not one, not two, but THREE Princesses with completely different needs. Reaching over and putting a massive hoof over the paper, he gently pulled it away from her. “It’s just an article, honey, let it be.” He said with his most charming smile. Luna sighed a little, but obeyed and let him put it on the other side of the table. He nodded gratefully and leaned to kiss her cheek. The midnight mare smiled happily. Crisis averted. He motioned, and a servant stallion bore the paper away when he took one of his side dishes.
“It is an interesting thought, though.” Cadance murmured, fork hovering in front of her mouth. “It’s not as though we prevent equal wages or anything. It’s a mare-dominated society because there’re simply more OF us.” She chewed, pondering. “The immortals rule because we have greater wisdom, and the greater mare population elects female leaders. It’s only natural.”
“I agree.” Celestia said mildly, nodding. Her eyes betrayed inner thoughts, but she didn’t voice them. Was she thinking that hard about the tiny article?
“I wonder what stallions would do, sister, if they ruled the world?” Luna giggled a bit. “Shining Armor, what would thou do if thou ruled the world for a day?” the three of them put their husband on the spot.
Shining Armor looked back and forth between the three of them, smiling rather bashfully. “W-well, from where I’m sitting,” he gestured to the three of them. “I wouldn’t change a thing.” That got smiles from all three of them, and he knew he had this particular battle well in hoof.
“See? It’s fine.” Luna said, smirking a bit.
“Maybe one of us should visit Ponyville before something bad happens?” Cadance asked, cocking her head with concern. “I mean, that town is sort of a magnet for trouble. Especially with all the elements living there. The power of the six gems draws negative magic like a lightning rod, so it can be destroyed.” The Princess of Love worried for her subjects just as much as Celestia or Luna. While some ponies didn’t accept her as a Princess of the realm, she did control the Crystal Empire, and she HAD brought home a lovely stallion (after years upon years of searching for the perfect mate) for the three alicorns to enjoy together. She was a working mare, was all. She couldn’t sit on a throne all day like the Royal Sisters did. “It would make me feel better if one of us three went to at least soothe them and let them know that they’re not being completely ignored.”
“Hmm…” Celestia considered.
“They have a local government for a reason, my herd.” Luna said, shrugging and downing the last bit of her orange juice. “A griffon would not hunt a rabbit with a ballista bolt.” She gestured to her radiant sister.
“Hrm, Luna has a point.” Celestia finally conceded with a patient sigh. “If it turns violent or gets out of control, we can intervene. But, those stallions have the right to sort things out for themselves. They don’t need our help. You know how much I hate using dues ex machina to end the problems of mortals.” She gestured mildly, with a tired expression. “If they don’t learn to solve their own problems, they’ll never actually SOLVE their own problems. We should not baby them.” She told her fellow alicorns. They nodded.
“I wouldn’t worry about it either.” Shining Armor put in. “Besides, they—!” he was interrupted when a whisp of magic sailed into the window and POOF’D into a scroll. “Oh hey, a letter from Twilie!” he said, smiling enthusiastically. “I bet this is her take on the whole situation down there.”
Celestia smiled, nodding. No doubt her student had drawn great wisdom and was reading into the topics of sexism and equality even as they spoke. Though it was odd that it had been sent by magic vapor and not dragon’s fire like usual. Hmm. “Dear Princess Celestia,” she read aloud. The royal breakfast table quieted. They always loved hearing from Twilight Sparkle. “I am in jail.” She blanched at the first sentence.
“What?!” gasped Cadance.
“What?!” gasped Shining Armor.
“Pff-AH-HAHAHAHA!” Luna threw her head back into a great bellow of laughter.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
The massive group of stallions was staring at Derpy Hooves. She looked back and forth between them all. Quite unused to being the center of attention, the wall-eyed mare trembled a little. “Y-yeah?” she asked the staring herd. There was mumbling, murmuring, and gesturing at the mail mare. They were eyeing her up and down like the mob of unsure villagers that they were. “D-did you guys need something?” While Derpy had no herd of her own, she’d never shied away from the attention of a stallion. She was a mare like any other. But when thirty of them had wandered by and seen her delivering mail to a mailbox, she was suddenly the object of everypony’s attention. They surrounded her in a great semi-circle where she stood in front of a mailbox. She looked back and forth rather nervously. They were all holding scary-looking signs that said stuff like ‘Down with the Mare!’ and ‘Mares should do hard work too!’ The poor grey Pegasus didn’t know what to make of them all. W-were they going to hurt her?! Her tail tucked and she hunched a little, as though expecting to be struck. Her eyes got big and soft. M-maybe she shouldn’t have wandered so far from the main strip. With all this protesting going on, the group of angry stallions had grown quite large!
Suddenly Derpy was kissed on each cheek by two different stallions. “We appreciate you, Derpy!” They told her. The clumsy pony flushed dark, touching one of her cheeks.
“Y-you do?” she whispered, trembling a little. A goofy smile worked its way across her face and she looked at the ground. “Aww shucks, guys…” she mumbled, taking off her mail-mare’s hat. “Nopony ever stops to tell me that, I’m j-just the mail mare.” She smiled bashfully. The protest group nodded at each other, gesturing with approval at Derpy. She was hardworking! She was a public servant, like a guard or a firefighter! Derpy was doing it right, they decided. Hooray for Derpy! There was happy murmuring back and forth, and two more stallions came forward to kiss her cheeks. She went scarlet again, stuttering and giggling loudly. Then two more kisses. Then two more kisses! “St-stop it!” she shrieked, laughing happily as she was loved on by the local male population.
“Alright, alright, that’s enough you guys!” Mr. Cake called. “Some of you are married, curb it a little!” There was male laughter, and lots of nodding. “Thanks for being a great mare, Derpy!” The skinny stallion waved from the crowd. Derpy smiled despite herself, touching her cheek again. She’d never felt so loved in her life! “C’mon guys! Time to rip down the mare establishment!” They all took turns waving goodbye to beloved, hard-working public servant Derpy, and trekked on down the street towards the train station.
“He said he’d meet us here.” Spike said, pacing back and forth. Big Macintosh, Mr. Cake, and Spike had seen the other stallions onto various trains for the rest of the day. Then, they’d taken Mr. Cake home so he could check on his foals. But then, the baby dragon had sent a letter by dragon’s fire to a very particular pony. A well-spoken pony that would act as the spokespony for the entire stallion protest group. “See anything yet?”
Big Macintosh had his head cocked back, looking skyward. “Nope.” He said, peering about like the stars had something to say. Spike paced back and forth on his back, worried that their friend wouldn’t come. Well, not friend. Friend was probably too strong of a word. More like ‘pony we’ve met and is powerful enough to serve as a spearhead to a socio-political movement’. Not just any stallion would do, Spike had sent for the tippy-top of power, and had even bribed him with some of his tastiest gems. The ones he’d been saving for a holiday or something. Their shiny, crystalline structures would hopefully earn the beast’s favor, and he would grace the tiny town of Ponyville with his presence.
The stars went out, suddenly. Spike stopped, peering up. Darkness was descending upon the grassy field where they stood in Ponyville park. The baby dragon hopped off of Big Mac’s back. “Oh! I think that’s him! He’s coming!” he said enthusiastically. The red stallion shifted nervously as grass began to wave. The smell of a mighty storm pressed hard on his muzzle. It made him nervous. He cocked his head, looking around and perking his ears for the sounds of hoofsteps—but none came. Was it a Pegasus, coming on the wing.
“Hrrrryyssss-s-s-s-s-ss…” A fel-voice was on the breeze, and both of them froze. The sky was growing obscured with heavy, molten-black clouds. A swirling of dark magic melted down from the sky like so much lava lamp goo. It took its sweet time, bearing down on both of them. “Wuh---huh-hurrhhhhgh…” It turned cone-shaped as a terrible power pressed at them, tasted them, made sure it was in the proper place. A blacker-than-black pony emerged from the mist. His glowing red eyes were spewing purple steam into the air around him. “Nyargh worg rawrgh rahhh snargh!” he declared, throwing his chest out as his cape flapped gallantly in the phantom winds of the night. The clouds dissipated, and slowly the normal night returned.
Big Mac stared, spotting the crown on his head. He bowed. He had no idea who it was, but he sure looked like royalty to him. Spike bowed too, respectful of his former enemy. “King Sombra, thanks for coming. Did you like the crystal-growing aquarium set I sent you for Hearths Warming?” Spike asked brightly.
“Crystallllllls.” Sombra nodded happily, coming forward and patting Spike’s head with affection. “Nyargh worgh blargh rahh-rah- sneeirrrrl?” he looked at Big Mac, wanting to know.
“Eyuup.” said Big Mac, wanting to be a good welcoming party as well.
King Sombra’s eyes lidded as his jowls rose to display all his fangs in a terrifying smile. He patted Big Mac’s head too, beckoning him to rise. When he did, he found the earth pony a full head taller than him. His ego was stung, but he quickly steadied himself. “Ahem. Worgh-rawrgh nyargh rargh?”
“Oh you can stay with me, don’t worry.” Spike led him away with Big Mac. “Not a lot of hotels in a town this small. Thanks again for coming!” he praised his pen pal again.
“Worg-rawrgh.” King Sombra nodded, thinking nothing of it. He was a king after all, what could he do if not answer to the call of one of the few allies he had? If they needed a spokespony, he would do his very best to help them.
Mrs. Cake and Pinkie Pie shared the same stallion. In Equestria it was the social norm to have one stallion per herd, and a herd could be anywhere between one and six mares. The alpha mare was married to the stallion, and the other mares in the herd were welcome in all the same respects as the wife was. Now, the Cake herd was small, but they loved one another very much. The two foals were certainly a product of this, and the successful Sugar Cube Corner was as well. Mr. Cake, Mrs. Cake, and Pinkie Pie were a team… but they sure didn’t feel that way anymore. The striking stallion herd had grown exponentially, and it had only been about ten days since their beginnings. Mr. Cake had been roaming the streets with them exclusively, and only came home to check on his foals. This left the two mares of the Cake herd very unhappy. So, they formulated a plan…
Mr. Cake came home at his usual time, long after dusk. When he approached Sugarcube Corner he noticed the door was still unlocked, even though the sign said closed. Going inside and locking it properly, he set his keys, saddlebags, and protest signs down. Peering around, he entered the kitchen and gave a little gasp. It was spotless. The skinny stallion looked under the table, across the counters, even under the fridge. Everything had been positively polished to a shine! He opened a cabinet, and found all the dishes put away just right. He looked in the oven and found it had been scrubbed out by hoof. He opened a drawer here and there, finding everything in absolutely immaculate condition. “Hmm…” he said, a little suspicious.
Mr. Cake wandered out into the main area of Sugar Cube Corner, seeing all the displays and such had been cleaned out as well. The floor was swept. The windows washed. Everything was spic and span. Turning for the stairs, he heard frenzied whispers. “He’s coming!” it sounded like Pinkie Pie, and there were not-so-stealthy hoofsteps rushing around above him. Cocking his head with a slight smirk, the yellow stallion ascended. “Go, quick!” said Pinkie. There was a quick sound of a door being closed, though gently.
He found the door to the twins’ room open, and went to check on them. Both were asleep in their cribs, quite clean and well-tended to. His brow rose. Color him impressed! Who would’ve thought the mares of the household could actually take good care of the foals? Leaning, he tenderly kissed their brows, watching them sleep for a time. He found himself quietly smiling.
Turning and carefully shutting their bedroom door, he went down the hall to the bedroom. “I’m home.” He said softly, poking his head in.
“Welcome home, dear.” said both Mrs. Cake and Pinkie Pie. Both of them were sitting, attentive, on the bed. The way their heads were tilted, the way they were looking at him… oh dear. One was on the left, one on the right, and plenty of room in the middle. The implication was sexy. The two mares never…. Well… ‘teamed up,’ when it came to bedroom affairs, but the invitation was clear. Pinkie’s mane was brushed to one side, and Mrs. Cake smelled of French vanilla, her favorite perfume her husband had given to her for her birthday. Both looked like they’d groomed for hours.
Mr. Cake stopped in the doorway, his mouth a little agape at their ‘come hither’ looks. “Er.” He said, swallowing for a moment. “Welcome home, Carrot!” Mrs. Cake said brightly.
“Come on to bed! You must be tired! If not, we can make you tired!” Pinkie bounced on the bed a bit, giggling. Mrs. Cake face-hoofed a little. Well, there went the mood, right there. Before anypony knew it the pink mare had bounced off the bed, gone behind Mr. Cake and was pushing him forward by his butt with the crown of her head. She pushed the door shut with one of her back hooves. The helpless stallion fell face-first into the bed and was gathered up by his wife for cuddling. He was splayed out on his back, and Pinkie quickly joined them. Mr. Cake was mooshed in a Pinkie and Mrs. Cake sandwich. They rubbed at his chest and belly, cooing happily.
“H-hey now! Easy!” he flailed for a moment, pushing off their grabby-hooves. “What’s the big idea?”
“You’ve been gone all week! So we cleaned up the place and waited for you.” Mrs. Cake nuzzled him, resting her chin on his chest. “We missed you, honey…” she said in a small voice, looking meaningfully into his eyes and stroking his cheek.
“Yeah! Besides we can’t have a herd with no stallion!” Pinkie said, bouncing a couple of times on the bed before settling on her belly next to them. She took his little hat and threw it, then set her chin atop his head between his ears. “We’re ready to negotiate, honest!”
“N… Negotiate?” mumbled Mr. Cake while he was loved on and kissed.
“You went on strike because you were unhappy, we’re ready to hear your demands.” Mrs. Cake said tenderly, reaching over and putting out the lamp so it was dark. It was quite private, all of a sudden, the three of them on the bed. Sheets were pulled back and the two mares curled up with him, pressed in tight for warmth. The stallion stuttered a bit, red-faced. “Talk to us, sweetheart. What is it you want?” she whispered.
With one mare under each arm, Mr. Cake considered. Pinkie tickled him a little with her nose, and he giggled. “St-stop that, haha! I need to think!” He squirmed around as the pink mare nosed him playfully. “Easy now!” Mrs. Cake hissed something at Pinkie, and finally it stopped. “Hrm…” he thought, finally laying his head on a pillow. Both mares waited patiently, listening to the sound of each other breathing.
“Maybe he wants more pay? I mean we usually split stuff three ways, but—!”
“Hush Pinkie.”
“Maybe he wants us to find a third mare? Our herd is kind’a small!”
“Pinkie, hush!”
“Ohmigosh what if he’s not getting enough—!”
“Don’t you DARE finish that sentence!”
“Girls.” Mr. Cake said gently, shushing them both. “I want… I just want…” he paused, heaving a deep sigh and turning a bit. “I just want a little more respect, is all.” He said gently. Both mares fell silent. He pulled them tight to either side of himself. “I want to be up there cooking with you, is all. I want to make cakes and tarts and things. It’s my special talent, after all.”
“But you do, honey…”
“No, no I don’t.” Mr. Cake said firmly. “I’m always cleaning, or moving supplies, or tending to the foals. I don’t ever get any time to actually make something to sell up front in the store. I don’t even get a please or thank you for my efforts.” He nodded towards the front room, down the stairs. “I think somewhere along the line I got shunted into just doing the chores, and you two just went straight to baking sweets.” There was a long silence. He let it all sink in.
“You wanna split up the chores, then?” Pinkie asked softly, perking her ears. “We can do that easy, silly! You didn’t hafta go on strike for that!” she giggled, rubbing his belly with both her front hooves.
“I think I did, and I still am.” Mr. Cake said, still staring at the ceiling.
“What?” Mrs. Cake said, sounding startled. “But we’re listening now! If we help out with the chores and the foals, shouldn’t that mean you don’t have to be on strike anymore?” she stroked his chest with a tender hoof while Pinkie fixed him with soft eyes.
“It’s not just about me and Big Mac anymore.” Mr. Cake said, shutting his eyes. “It’s about everypony. The way things are out there? It’s gotta change or there’s gonna be a lot more herds just like ours.”
“What’s wrong with our herd?” Mrs. Cake asked in a small voice.
“It got lopsided enough in its responsibilities that your stallion went out into the street to wave angry signs at you?” There were a fewwww drops of smart-alek in Mr. Cake’s tone when he said that. Mrs. Cake blushed, wilting her ears. Pinkie Pie giggled, nodding a bit. “I don’t want other ponies to suffer like we did.”
“Did? Then… you forgive us?” said Pinkie, pushing her now curtain-like mane out of her face. “You’re not mad anymore?” She gave him big soft eyes to punctuate.
“Oh I’m still mad.” Mr. Cake said indignantly. Both mares whimpered a little, but he pulled them closer. “But things are gonna get better.”
“We could make a big calendar for the fridge!” Pinkie said, bouncing a bit. “You know, to mark who does what chores on what day! That way it’s all straight!”
“Good idea, Pinkie.” Mrs. Cake nodded her approval. A great weight seemed to lift from the Cake herd’s shoulders. They looked at each other in the darkness. It was cloudy outside, so not even the moon peeked in at them. “Hmm… when was the last time all three of us were in the same bed?” she winked at Pinkie, whose face lit up with glee.
“Ohhhh-no. Couch. Both of you.” Mr. Cake gave them both a rather strong shove. Both mares yelped, tumbling comically out of bed. “There’ll be none of that until this is all sorted out.” He pulled the sheets around himself as both mares moaned loudly. They’d had this all planned out! Scrub the place down, put the foals to bed, negotiate, then seal the deal with a night of bedroom romping! But, not tonight it seemed. “Go on now. You’re still in trouble.” He said, tossing both of them a pillow.
“Banished to the couch.” Pinkie wilted, heading to the living room with her head hung. (It didn’t occur to the pink mare that she had her own room and could just as easily go up to her own bed.) Mrs. Cake followed, looking a little crestfallen as well. Denied. Both of them, denied.
“Carrot…” whispered Mrs. Cake, stopping in the doorway. He turned over to look at her. “I love you, sweetie.” She said softly, coming back and kissing his cheek. He smiled at her tiredly. “We’ll make this all better, I promise. Starting tomorrow.” She took her pillow and reported to the couch as her husband had commanded. He smiled, letting his eyes slide closed. He’d never felt so relieved.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
Twilight was flung out roughly out of the Ponyville jailhouse and she landed face-first with her butt in the air. “Oomph!” she grunted, falling over before righting herself.
“Now go on home! And don’t let us catch you putting your hooves on a stallion like that ever again! Or you’ll regret it!” Snapped the guard in the doorway before slamming it shut.
Twilight flinched at the sound. She stood there for a moment, then hung her head. A week in jail. She was so ashamed of herself. How could she ever look any stallion in the face again? How had she just lost control like that? “I’d better get home, Spike might be there.” She mumbled, turning towards Golden Oaks. “If this protest thing is still going on… well, they have to rest sometime…” Darting down the street, she made for home. The purple mare was relieved when she saw the place had not burned down, nor been converted into a fortress full of angry sign-waving stallions. The lights were on, the door was closed, and the hearth was lit. Cocking her head and taking a deep breath, she went in. “Spike? Spike I’m home!” she said, setting down her saddlebags. “Spike are you here?”
“Nope, I left the fire going and all the lights on, and I went for a stroll.” said Spike from the top of the stairs where he sat. The purple mare looked up at him with soft eyes, unsure of what to say to him now that she’d finally found him again. He rose, coming down the stairs and stopping in front of her. There was a long silence.
Twilight slowly sank down to her belly, all four legs folding up. They shared a quiet embrace. “H’oh Spike, I’m so sorry! So sorry!” she whispered in distress, pressing him hard against her in a fretful embrace. “I-It must’ve been so scary for you! And I need to go apologize to Snowflake! I’ve been gone for a week anything could’ve happened to you!”
Spike hugged his mistress with a heartsick sort of sigh. It had never really struck him when she’d been dragged away to jail, but later it had. He’d missed her, despite all his anger he’d missed her a lot. “Twilight, I uhm…” he said awkwardly, unsure what to say. When she finally released him, they looked at each other. What were they supposed to do now? A sort of void was there now. A wound had been ripped open that had been festering for quite some time, it wasn’t something you just glossed over. Twilight hung her head, wishing she could remember all the speeches and things she’d been thinking up all week in her jail cell. Her heart stung when she thought about it. She’d even sent a confession letter to the Princess to tell her about what had happened. The return letter, while politely-worded, had been positively scathing. Her mentor was disappointed that Twilight would strike the fairer sex with her magic, and would be awaiting a nice long essay about the incident and how it could have been handled much better.
“Spike,” Twilight leaned, just wanting to hug him for now. So many mean words had passed between them, but a great deal of pressure had been let off and now they could at least talk a little, right? They sat in front of the hearth. “We can… we can go talk to Cheerilee tomorrow, if you want.” She said softly into the top of his head. Spike shifted a little, looking up at her with hope in his eyes. “Maybe you can enroll for elementary school this fall, if it’s not too late?” the purple mare said, offering an olive branch between them. Spike threw his arms around her neck happily.
“Er, Twilight?”
“Yeah?”
“There’s somethin’ a gotta tell you before anything else happens.”
“What’s that?” Twilight tilted her head back when she heard the upstairs toilet flush. “Do you have a guest? Who is it?” she went to the bottom of the stairs, curious. “Hello?” she called up.
“Nyargh worg, rawrgh narg.” Sombra emerged from the bedroom, commenting on the lovely wallpaper in the bathroom. It really was pleasant, for when a stallion had business in there to take care of. “Rawrghri Rargle?!” he spotted her when she spotted him.
“King Sombra?!” Twilight gasped, igniting her horn defensively.
“Yargh?” he said, frowning at her rather angrily. Sombra looked over at Spike. “Worgh rawrgh snargle yargh?” he pointed at Twilight with a hoof. “Woof nargh worg rawrgle!” he jabbed the hoof at her twice. Twilight was not amused at his insults, her horn flaring brighter to begin the epic battle of good and evil—this time in her own great room!
“Stop!” Spike jumped between the two of them. “Twilight you can’t! You just got outta jail for attacking somepony!” he waved his little arms back and forth as Twilight tried to lean around him. The baby dragon hopped up a few stairs, shielding the black stallion from the unicorn’s wrath.
“He’s evil!” Twilight insisted. “Snowflake was a mistake, but HE needs to be stopped!”
“He’s not evil anymore! I promise!” Spike said, looking back and forth between the two of them.
“Nyargh worg rawrgle?” Sombra lifted an amused brow, wondering exactly what Twilight had done to land herself in prison. “Nyah-hah-hah-hah!” he threw his head back in laughter, then teleported down to be right in front of her instead. She jittered back, horn flaring with magic. He gave his cape a gallant little toss, sniffing with dignity as he tilted his muzzle up. He looked rather… noble, like that, for he seated himself to explain. A long line of snorts, rawrgles, and snarrrrgs told Twilight the rather complex and enlightening tale of what had happened after the crystal heart had ripped his smoky form to pieces.
“Really?” Twilight said, the magic draining out of her horn. The glow subsided, and Spike heaved a sigh of relief. Sombra nodded, and went on for a bit longer. “Just like Nightmare Moon, huh?” the purple mare was spell-bound. “I had no idea.”
“Rarrorgh-argh rawrgh.” Sombra leaned and, just like any proper nobility could, took her hoof and kissed it. If not for Twilight, Spike and her friends he would have been trapped in darkness forever. He was very grateful, to say the least.Twilight blushed as he released her. She was more than a little taken aback at all this. “Snarfle-grawrgh spargh crystalllllz.” He gestured to Spike.
“For Hearth’s Warming, huh?” Twilight found herself smiling just a little. “That was very nice of him. And you’ve been pen pals since then?” He nodded. “Wow.” There was a bit of silence, and Sombra cleared his throat a little awkwardly. “So uhm… what’re you doing here, exactly?” she asked.
“He’s gonna be the spokespony for the stallions on strike!” Spike said enthusiastically.
“…What.”
“Annnnnd he’s staying here with us. Sorry Twilight, I didn’t know when you’d get out of jail so I offered him the guest bed.” Spike smiled a little sheepishly.
“What?”
“Annnnnd we’re gathering twenty-five thousand stallions to sign a petition to the crown soon. So Ponyville is about to get really busy.” Spike chuckled nervously.
Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash arrived at the Golden Oaks library at roughly the same time for their weekly get-together. It was something new each week, anything from a tabletop game of Ponies and Castles to a potluck dinner. This week was supposed to be a sleepover. Applejack knocked on the door as the group chattered amongst themselves. The loud talking and laughter immediately halted, however, when they saw who came and answered the door.
“Rawrgh?” a black stallion with a demonic aura stood in the doorway, staring at them. They stared back. There was a long, awkward silence. Leaning, Rainbow Dash quickly closed the door in his face. Sombra blinked in confusion. He was the one standing inside the treehouse— wasn’t the pony inside supposed to be the one doing things like that? He was confused.The five mares looked at each other, standing pressed around the library’s stoop. Had they just suffered a group hallucination? They nodded resolutely, denying what they’d just seen. Applejack rubbed her eyes a bit, then knocked again. There was a pause, then same tall dark stallion answered the door again. This time he looked at each of them in turn. Oh. He recognized them. “Snargh-rawr--!” he started, but Rainbow shut the door in his face again, more quickly that time. The mares looked at each other, still not believing. Well, third time was the charm. Applejack knocked again, hoping for Twilight or Spike this time. There was a rude growl inside, and Sombra thrust the door open. “Rawrgh snarrrr?!” he snapped angrily.
“King Sombra!” Rainbow Dash was aloft and in his face before anypony else could speak. “What’re YOU doing here?! Where’s Twilight?! What have you done with her?!”
Sombra shrugged, stepping aside so they could see. Twilight was sprawled on the sofa, napping with a book over her face. Spike didn’t seem to be around. “Well… everything looks okay…” Fluttershy said softly, leaning in the doorframe to get a better look. “Did he just… randomly decide to come visit?”
“I invited him, it’s all okay!” Spike said, coming from the kitchen. “He’s here to be the spokespony for the Stallions on Strike!”
“You mean those loonies making a pile of horseshoes out on the street?” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, gesturing mildly over her shoulder. Everypony craned their necks to see. Sure enough, there was a stallion gathering up working-horseshoes in a pile in the middle of the road. He had a sign next to him that read ‘Cast off the oppression! Get rid of your horse shoes here!’ Now and then a stallion would wander by, and gladly lift one hoof at a time to be rid of his ‘mare-given iron burdens’. Rainbow Dash wrinkled her nose. She liked bare-hooved stallions as much as the next mare, but you didn’t just go down the street like that! It was unsightly!
“C-come on in, girls.” Twilight rose finally, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Sombra moved to let them in, shutting the door behind him. They eyed him warily, but he only eyed them back. “I know, I know, Sombra.” She gestured a bit to him.
“You’re looking well for someone that’s just come from prison, darling.” Rarity rushed to hug her friend, and the others pressed in around her. “I heard all about it! Isn’t Spike a minor? Shouldn’t they have arrested that group of stallions for wandering off with him?!”
“I don’t know.” Twilight said miserably, not wanting to be reminded of the moment.
“Y’all shouldn’t be zappin’ no stallions, though, hope ya learnt yer lesson.” Applejack said seriously. Twilight wilted under her gaze, nodding solemnly.
“What was it like in prison? Did you get a tattoo? Did you have to share a cell with anypony?” Rainbow Dash wanted to know, zipping around the room until she settled on the couch. The group filed into the room, taking up their usual positions around the hearth. “Did you have an ‘extreme companion’?” she made air quotes. Twilight scowled, but the cyan mare only laughed. “Sorry, sorry, couldn’t help it!”
“Spike seems okay, did you guys make up?” Fluttershy shifted the subject quickly before anypony got offended.
“Yeah.” Twilight nodded, smiling a bit. Spike did the same, throwing an arm around his mistress as she settled on the rug in front of the fire. “He’s going to enroll for school in the fall. We’re making a few changes around here.” She looked a little bashful, but having been served a pretty big piece of humble pie recently it was hard not to. “I guess I just wasn’t thinking about it, always making Spike do all the housework and cooking and stuff. I just got so wrapped up in my own stuff, I wasn’t being considerate.”
“Tell me about it!” Pinkie Pie said, poking her head out from under the couch. “Mr. Cake went off on us too! Now we’ve got the chores all split up between him and Mrs. Cake and I? Now he’s all happy-sappy again!” she grinned. They cocked their heads as Pinkie told them all about how Big Mac had come over, recruited Mr. Cake, and they’d started the madness outside. So, for a safer and happier home, the dynamics of the Cake herd had been changed for the better… hopefully. “It’s no fun doing chores twice a week, but you know what they say!” she paused for effect, then put on a southern accent. “If the stallion ain’t happy, ain’t nopony in the herd happy!” she broke into giggles after that. “We can’t not have a happy herd at Sugar Cube Corner!”
“Big Mac’s the one that started all this.” Fussed Applejack, frowning deeply. “Ah don’t know what happened. He just got up one morning with his yoke all in a wad, and decided to go to war on us mares!” She took off her hat, adjusted it a bit, then slapped it back on. “Ah ought’a drag him back home, but ah don’t know where he’s gone half’a the time.” It was true. The ever-growing bachelor herd was always on the move, and even with a stallion as big as Big Macintosh, it was hard to pick him from the crowd. Already, stallions were starting to arrive from far and wide to join the cause. Word was travelling fast, and there seemed to be a few more male ponies in town than before.
“So long as you do it peacefully.” Twilight added quickly. “I wouldn’t want two of us to be arrested.” She shivered a little.
“Ah dun tried to pull Big Mac’s plow, but ah ain’t sturdy enough to.” Applejack admitted, sighing. “It would take two mares at least to pull that thing around, much less at the same speed he does. A strong stallion ain’t easy to replace.” The orange farming pony cast her eyes to the floor in serious thought. “He can’t just not work, though, that ain’t fair to nopony. It’s not a good example for Applebloom, either, not doin’ his job.” The group nodded a bit in agreement. Complaining was fine, but quitting entirely was not, they reasoned.
King Sombra watched the little group with a neutral expression, sitting on his haunches in an armed chair. He didn’t want to interrupt, he wanted to learn what the general attitude was around here when it came to stallions. Thus far he’d not been impressed. Stallions forming protest groups, waving angry signs and quitting their jobs en masse was never a healthy sign. He tilted his head, listening quietly while the conversation steered back and forth. The mail in Ponyville had slowed down, the trains were all done, litter was not being seen to, and general building repair was falling behind as well. In other words, all the stallion-work was piling up. Sombra wondered what the breaking point would be.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
Prince Blueblood and Fancy Pants sat in front of a large vanity. In front of them was a complex make-up kit. It looked like a fishing tackle-box, but was filled with powders and paints instead of hooks and sinkers. Half of its little drawers and flaps were open, displaying everything it had to offer. Blueblood sighed quietly, dabbing Fancy Pants’ brow. “Does that hurt?” he asked quietly.
“No no, keep going.” Fancy mumbled, hunching a little and batting his eye.
“We can stop if it hurts too much. Stay inside, you know?” Blueblood levitated the application brush away to check his work. Fancy Pants fixed him with a look, and the Prince sighed softly. Leaning, he continued. The mustached stallion rubbed his muzzle a little, trying to stay upright on the little stool he was on.
Fancy shook his head a little, fighting down a shudder. “I’m expected at one of the derby parties tomorrow. If I don’t go ponies will talk. Fleur will be… angry.” He mumbled, looking at the floor instead of the mirror.
Blueblood stopped, setting the brush down. The white, golden-maned stallion sat next to his friend, rubbing his back slowly. For all his power as a Prince, if Fancy didn’t come forward with his problems there was nothing he could do. He’d been trying for months to make the poor thing fess up and tell a member of the guard or something about his problems. But the laws of Canterlot were straight from the horse’s lips. If you yourself didn’t complain, there was no case. Somepony else couldn’t complain for you. Not even for one’s abusive wife. “Why don’t you leave her, huh?”
“I can’t.” Fancy said softly, shuddering as the back-rub became a one-armed embrace. “She takes care of me, and gives me a home and money and anything I need!” he looked over at Blueblood, trying not to break down again. If he wept, the make-up would be ruined and they’d have to start all over again.
“She also gave you that.” The stallion raised his friend’s chin so he would look at himself in the mirror. They weren’t done painting his face, so it was still easy to see the black eye Fleur de Lis had given him last night.
“Sh-she lives a stressful life! She’s an actress and a super model and of noble breeding. I’m sure I was just one more thing wrong with her day, whatever I did. She’s a good mare, she is!” Fancy said, defending his abuser. Blueblood pitied him, shaking his head a little sadly. Someday, hopefully, he would weedle it out of him to go to the guard about all this.
“She’s a monster is what she is…” Blueblood mumbled, lifting his wineglass from the vanity and downing it easily. He went to set it down again, but paused. The newspaper he’d been using as a coaster had a rather odd headline. ‘Stallions on Strike Continues: Ponyville Erupts for Royal Petition!’ He picked it up, scanning the article. The picture was of a giant mound of horse shoes, mixed with hay, being burned on a street corner somewhere. It was surrounded by stallions holding angry signs, glaring right at the camera. “Fancy.” he said slowly, prodding the picture.
“Huhm?” said the stallion, leaning to find something of a brighter white to cover up his wound.
“I think we should visit Ponyville.” Blueblood’s smile got wider and wider. Fancy turned, gaping at the article. Both of them read it three times each. “A royal petition takes twenty-five thousand signatures. That’s a lot of stallions.” Blueblood said carefully. “Just imagine all the food and lodging and other resources they’ll be consuming, just sitting around in that town.” The Prince said hypothetically. “Why, it would be positively criminal to let such a noble group starve or sleep on the ground while they’re doing all this!” Fancy slowly looked up, into his friend’s eyes. Not one friend, Blueblood’s grin said. Not ten friends either. Twenty-five thousand friends, maybe some of them abuse victims as well—all gathering into one spot to make change happen?
“How can we pass it up…?” Fancy Pants whispered softly, stroking his chin. This was too perfect. This was fantastic. Even Fleur de Lis could not penetrate a herd twenty-five thousand strong! Heaving a drawer open, Fancy grabbed a razor and sheared his tiny mustache off. Blueblood gaped at him. “I only grew it because Fleur liked it.” He said.
“You rebel.” The Prince chuckled, nodding. “C’mon, let’s pack.” Less than an hour later, the two of them snuck out a side door. Using side roads down into the lower part of Canterlot, they hopped on a train bound for Ponyville.
Fancy had wiped off the make-up with a wet rag before they’d left. The black eye was a deep, ugly purple after all the layers of paint had been scrubbed away. It was painful to look at. More than a few stallions eyed him on the way there. They seemed to understand. They knew what that mark meant, especially on a high-society stallion, heading for Ponyville. That was a stallion on strike.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
Hours later, the train pulled in and emptied out. Almost all the riders were male. They poured onto the platform, then filtered out into the town. “Jeez I’m hungry!” on stallion declared to his friends. “We’ve gotta find a place to settle first!” said another. “I wanna start protesting now, though!” whined a third, already holding a ‘down with the mare’ sign. “Looks like the hotels are full, jeez this place is tiny!” someone complained. “I don’t have much pocket money left. We may have to graze in the park, sweetheart.” A pair of male life-partners wandered by, leaning into each other tenderly.
Prince Blueblood and Fancy Pants snuck out, both wearing sunglasses to be incognito. They were nobles, after all, they didn’t want to get mobbed. “What do we do now?” Fancy asked Blueblood, pulling off his sunglasses once they’d melted into a crowd on the street.
“Now, we stir the pot and see what happens. You heard what half of those stallions were saying. Everypony is hungry!” said Blueblood bravely. Turning into a building that looked like a life-size gingerbread house, the two of them found it to be a bakery and sweet shop. “Sugar Cube Corner.” The Prince read off of the sign above the door. “Hmm!” Fancy followed him, peering around with interest. They went inside and the little bell above the door rang merrily. There was a knobby-kneed yellow stallion behind the counter, busily working with an arrangement of chocolates on a tray. He was humming loudly, and seemed to be positively delighted with what he was doing. Prince Blueblood approached, clearing his throat a little for attention. “Hullo there.” He greeted.
“Heya!” the pony behind the counter smiled. “Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner, what can I getcha?” Mr. Cake eyed both of them as they checked the displays and looked at the menus mounted on the walls. “Well, what’s the occasion?” he offered. “Maybe I can help you pick something.”
Both stallions looked around like they might have someone following them. They motioned the shopkeeper forward to whisper. They checked over their shoulders before speaking softly. “Stallions… on strike!” Fancy whispered
“Oh! More brothers to the cause!” Mr. Cake was delighted. “Well, we’ve got all sorts of breads, cakes, pies. Do you like heavy pies? They’re more filling if you’re going to be here a while.” The stallion seemed excited to see them, all of a sudden! “We’ll have twenty of your heaviest pies then!” Blueblood decided, reaching into his vest and producing a royal platinum card. He slapped it onto the counter. He was royalty, after all, he had an unlimited line of credit. Fancy looked at the card with envy, but chuckled none the less.
Mr. Cake gaped at him, then at the card. Twenty pies?! Just like that?! His eyes watered. His pupils dilated until they took up most of his eyes. “R… really? Twenty?” he mewled a little, like he were about to burst into happy sobs.
“Yes!” Blueblood said, nodding to make it official. “We’ll take one, and I want you to give the other nineteen away to any stallion that wanders near here, hungry because he’s striking with the rest of us!”
“Thank you!” exploded Mr. Cake, practically sobbing. He was going to make pies! Not clean the kitchen and move boxes, but make actual edible pies! He’d never been so happy. “Thank you thank you thank you! I’ll get started right away! Come back in… ohh, an hour or so, for the first one!” he was already dashing away to the kitchen. “HONEY!” he shouted. “Start the ovens! I’ve got a biiiiiig order!”
“There’s a stallion that loves his job.” Blueblood marveled as they stepped out onto the street again. He and Fancy chuckled merrily, letting the door shut behind him. “Now then, what other trouble can we get into?” said the young Prince rebelliously, waving his platinum card about dangerously.
“Prince.” said Fancy Pants, stopping suddenly.
“Huhm?”
“You said you’re striking, but… why? You’re a Prince! Shouldn’t you be happy with your lot in life?” Fancy Pants asked him. The reality settled in rather quickly. Prince Blueblood was not married, had money and status in Canterlot and everything a pony could ask for. Why exactly was he out here ‘stirring the pot’, as he put it?
“Somepony has to look after you of course!” Blueblood said haughtily, giving his golden mane a toss. “We can’t let another mare just step up and oppress you, right?” he gave his most dazzling smile, and Fancy laughed.
“Help-help, I’m being oppressed!” Fancy put on a shrill voice, leaning into him for aid. Both laughed. "Save me, my handsome Prince charming!" Blueblood clapped him on the back, grinning as they continued down the street.
“Madam Mayor Mare has already sent for a royal petition scroll.” Celestia said conversationally. The alicorn herd was resting, all members accounted for, in their private chambers. Cadance was draped over a couch in front of the hearth, Luna was frowning over a newspaper, and Shining Armor was leaning to put another log on the fire. “Petition scrolls are enchanted so that you really can get the twenty-five thousand signatures on them. They extend, retract, and keep a tally of all the names signed to them.” The milky alicorn touched her chin in thought. “I’ve not actually entertained a petition since Nightmare Night was invented. Huh.”
“Was that done by petition?” Luna said with interest, looking up. “I wondered how that holiday manifested while I was away on the moon.” She smiled at Shining Armor as he found a seat by the fire’s warmth. “Twenty-five thousand ponies got together to make it so?”
“That’s right.” Celestia chuckled. “They missed you, they just didn’t understand you. But, it’s the law to consider the requests of enough voices raised under the same banner.” She folded her wings to her sides, reaching for Luna’s paper when she was done with it. As it had been for the past two weeks, the Stallions on Strike (or “S.o.S.” for short) dominated the front page of the Canterlot Caller. “I have a feeling we’ll be meeting these ponies very soon.” She murmured, scanning down the article.
“Pfft. An unseemly rabble!” Luna snorted with disapproval. “If the citizens of Ponyville took good care of their stallions, there would be no such rebellion like this.” She gestured to Shining Armor with a grand smile. “Our own stallion has never made a peep of unhappiness since he joined our herd. He is fed and watered and loved very much! Allowed to do as he pleases within reason!”
Shining Armor smiled embarrassedly. “Well, I’m not a dog you know.” He laughed a little. “It’s probably different for them since, well, their herds aren’t made up of Princesses.” He looked to Cadance for help.
The pink alicorn turned over, resting on her belly to speak. “I agree. Money and such really isn’t a problem for us, but that’s not the point here.” She gestured when Celestia turned the page of the paper. A picture of the shouting stallions occupied a good portion of the front page, this time with a pile of straw and horseshoes burning in the background. “It’s a time of social change, I’d imagine.” She said carefully. “It always is.”
“I would not allow OUR stallion to romp around waving signs with obscenities on them, wearing no horseshoes and forsaking his guard captain duties!” Luna said. “Mares have their roles, and stallions theirs! It is not unfair, it is just how things are.” The night princess turned her nose up a little, regal and royal-looking. Cadance rolled her eyes. Luna was such a drama queen sometimes. “I do not think less of Shining Armor because of his gender!” she gestured to the white stallion, who bashfully hid his hooves under the lip of the blanket he was laying on. They’d risen from bed, but he’d not donned any horseshoes yet that day. “They are making problems where there are none.” Luna concluded, flopping onto a couch.
“Looks like they’ve chosen a spokespony.” Celestia said, her brow rising. “It’s King Sombra.”
“Sombra?! In Ponyville?!” Shining Armor gasped, leaping to his hooves. (All three alicorns’ eyes flicked downward for a split-second) “We’ve got to alert Twilie and the others!” He turned to rush for quill and paper, but the white alicorn stopped him.
“I think she knows.” Celestia smiled just a little, showing him the extension of the article inside the newspaper. The secondary picture showed a frowning King Sombra, and in the background was the Golden Oaks library… and in the window was a curious-faced Twilight Sparkle peering out at the scene. “If she’s not written to us in a panic yet, I imagine she has things well in-hoof.” said the Princess of the day.
“Another vote of non-interference, Tia?” Luna asked with a frown. “If they are mustering such numbers, will it not cause trouble for Ponyville? Especially with Sombra spear-heading the group?”
“I don’t think so.” Celestia said gently. “As long as they’re not looting and pillaging or waving pitchforks around, that is.” She chuckled, folding the paper and putting it aside. “Well, I must go. The Noonday Court will be beginning soon.” She stretched, going to the nearby vanity to put on her royal vestments.
“You are happy with us, yes?” Luna asked Shining directly when Celestia was gone. “You do not mean to throw off your horseshoes, grab a sign and join that rabble, do you?” she looked rather concerned for a moment.
Shining went and lay on the couch with Cadance, shaking his head. “No, I’m fine.” He promised. “I’ve got enough responsibilities as a captain of the royal guard, a husband, and other things. I don’t see me joining any social change movements anytime soon.” He touched Cadance’s side and she smiled, leaning to nuzzle him. “Speaking of!” his face suddenly turned startled. “I’m supposed to lead physical training this afternoon for my platoon!” he went rushing to the closet, and tumbled back out in his PT sweats. All three mares chuckled a little. He was so cute when he had mini-panics like that. Shining Armor paused on his way out the door, standing next to Celestia in front of the vanity mirror. He frowned at himself, turning sideways a little and cocking his head at his hips. “These sweats don’t make my flank look… y’know, fat, do they?” he looked up at the sun goddess. He couldn’t lead by example if his backside looked big!
“No, of course not.” Celestia smiled, kissing the top of his head.
“No, of course not.” echoed Cadance from the couch, laughing.
“Yes, and it looks glorious!” Luna said, gesturing with approval.
“Luna!” Shining Armor squawked angrily.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
Sombra was working busily at a library studying table. His tail flicked a little as he frowned over his facts and figures. Ponyville was small, only twenty-six thousand citizens… and it was about to swell to twice that number. All the while, he was going to be the one giving voice to the angry rabble. Leaning over a map, he tried to find the best place to speak to a large group. The park was large. The town bordered Everfree. The fields between Ponyville and Appleoosia were vast… the fields were probably best. A small tent-town was already popping up there, and plenty of stallions had already settled nearby. The local economy was exploding with a demand for food, lodging, and other goods. Economically, Ponyville was being super-charged. But at the same time, all its resources were being quickly used up. It was not a large enough place to sustain such a population jump for very long. Sombra knew that if he was to lead them and be their voice, he would need to gather the numbers and proceed quickly before the town was torn to pieces from raw consumption.
Taking off his reading glasses, he rubbed the bridge of his muzzle a little. The black stallion ran a hoof through his mane a few times, thinking hard about ten different things. His social standing was high, but not positive. If he were to claim a victory here for all stallions, it would endear him in the heart of Equestria’s population. That was certainly a juicy reward for a pony that had just returned from the dark side of things. “Nargh-worg. Rawr.” He sighed, slumping back into his chair.
“Tired?” Twilight asked, coming over from her own study corner. Sombra nodded, looking over at her with a friendly, though fanged, smile. “King Sombra, can I ask you something?” The purple mare said. He nodded once, blinking curiously. “You see I… I want to go sign the petition. The one you and the other stallions on strike are making.” She said. He tilted his head. “I feel guilty for what I did to Snowflake, and I feel like it would be a good way to apologize.” She scuffed a hoof on the floor a few times, then looked up to find him looking at her carefully. Did she mean it? “Well, I mean, I have to apologize to his face, of course. But… it feels like that wouldn’t be enough.” She mumbled awkwardly. “After what happened between Spike and I, I feel like I should at least help a little bit.”
“Rawrgh-nargh-snargh.” Sombra said. He wasn’t hearing a question in this guilt-laden speech.
“What I mean is… I wanna ask if maybe you’d, y’know, come with me to the signing post?” Twilight Sparkle asked. “It’s at town hall, but, I’m not exactly in any stallion’s good graces right now. I’d feel a little better if I had somepony with me.” He fixed her with a dubious look, and there was a long silence. She hung her head. “And to make sure I don’t get jumped.” She finally admitted. He nodded, satisfied that the whole truth had come out. “So, will you?”
“Yargh.” He nodded, smiling. Her face lit up. He smiled a bit wider, turning and closing his notebooks. He stacked his things neatly, leaving them in the middle of the table. Adjusting his chestplate a bit he nodded and they were away.
Sombra and Twilight made their way across Ponyville at a brisk pace. Town Hall was a little crowded, but their goal was already in sight. On a pedestal in the middle of the great room was a red scroll. It hovered in midair, a golden quill and inkwell next to it. A royal petition, even the petition itself looked royal. As Twilight approached she could already see lots of signatures on it. Anypony that stopped by could sign it whenever they wanted, after all. Then, Twilight saw him.
Snowflake spotted Twilight and Sombra looked at him. He rubbed his nose with his foreleg, like he was seeing to an itch. Twilight hung her head a little. Sombra coughed a few times, nudging her. Side by side, they approached the muscle-bound stallion. “Yeahhhh?” he said frownily.
“Snowflake I… I’m so sorry.” Twilight said. She’d had a nice long speech rehearsed in her head, but it all seemed to have left her in the moment. “I am. I’m sorry. No mare should ever put her hooves or magic on a stallion like that.” She stared at his hooves, unable to look into his face. Sombra stood by silently, letting her speak. “I-I came to sign your group’s petition, to show my support. Can you forgive me?” she asked softly.
He shook his head no, frowning at her.
Twilight wilted, crushed. Forlorn, she turned away— moist in the eyes. Sombra scowled at Snowflake, but couldn’t really do anything about it. If he wanted to hold a grudge, that was his own business. (...Though deep down, even he understood that "I'm sorry" did not pay for a bloody nose) Twilight had come with guilt in her heart and apologized. That was good enough for him. “Rargh.” He told Twilight, touching her shoulder when they were halfway across the room.
“Uh?” Twilight asked softly, biting her bottom lip while she struggled not to cry. “Oh, the petition!” she turned quickly and made her way to the pedestal. “Equal pay, equal rights…” she mumbled down the contents of the document. It was only one page long, and very cut and dry when you really stopped to read it. It was calling for serious, radical social change, but at least the words were simple and not in legalese. Clearing her throat, she picked up the golden quill with her magic. Dipping it, she signed her name on one of the many blank lines. “There.” Twilight half-smiled, trying not to look at Snowflake as she turned to leave. The white pony’s accusing red eyes followed her out of Town Hall.
King Sombra followed her outside, gently putting a hoof on her shoulder. She looked at him. He smiled a little, patting her. Turning his head, he gestured a little. There was a café nearby, busy with eating, chattering and socializing ponies. Maybe if she sat and ate something she’d feel better?
“Nopony’s ever turned down my apology before.” Twilight sulked a little, but nodded. “Maybe some hay fries will be a good pick-me-up.” She brightened a little, and Sombra nodded. They went to an outside table, ordered their food and sat in relative silence for a bit.
Sombra pondered over the purple mare sitting with him. She seemed like a nice mare when they weren’t fighting over the fate of the Crystal Empire while evil gripped his heart— she just didn’t understand stallions was all. He found himself smirking just a little, sidling over to sit directly next to her. Twilight seemed lost in her own thoughts. “Wort-rawrgh-wargh.” He told her. Speaking at length, he put an arm around her shoulder. Stallions were complicated, sensitive creatures and a mare couldn’t just offer a plain old apology and expect to be forgiven for bodily harm. Sometimes, stallions just wanted to be mad for a while and there was no helping that. Snowflake would simmer down in the coming days, and then someday he might be more receptive to an apology.
“H-how do you know?” Twilight asked softly, daring to hope. He touched his chest, making a light gesture. He knew how stallion hearts worked. He had one, after all. The purple mare blushed when he leaned and quietly kissed her cheek. Poor thing, she just needed a nudge in the right direction. Twilight smiled bashfully.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
Big Macintosh smiled, welcoming another small group of stallions as they came to the tent city outside of Ponyville. He was a stallion of few words, but it was only neighborly to say hullo when somepony had traveled several hundred miles to join your cause. He cantered about, smiling broadly and waving when he was waved at. He was roped into posing for a photo for a newspaper, asked for his autograph, and even hugged by a few fellow protestors. Over and over he was thanked for sparking the fire that was engulfing all of their hearts. All it had taken was one pony to say ‘Nope!’ to his mare oppressors, and the rest was history.
What he didn’t expect, however, was to run into Applejack in the middle of the protest camp. “Big Mac?” she said tentatively. He smiled and went to hug her. She hugged him back, albeit a little stiffly. “Granny Smith and Applebloom are getting’ worried about yah.” She took off her hat, looking at the ground to one side. “They wanna know when you’ll be comin’ home.” There was a certain humbleness in the orange mare’s voice, but she was too stubborn to voice it. Big Mac didn’t speak, but shrugged a bit. He honestly wasn’t sure. “Ah mean, it’s been two weeks of you runnin’ around with this rabble. Ah think ya’ll have made your point.” She stepped close and rested her cheek on his barrel-shaped chest. “Please come home?” she asked.
“Nope.” Big Mac mumbled, leaning to embrace her. There was more to do, and every-stallion was counting on him to see this through. He couldn’t just quit. Applejack sighed.
Big Mac turned his head, looking over at Sugar Cube Corner in the distance. Mr. Cake was emerging from inside. Pinkie and Mrs. Cake had seen him to the door. He kissed one, then the other. Mrs. Cake gave him a saddlebag full of food, and Pinkie gave him a brand new ‘equal rights!’ sign. Mr. Cake laughed, nodding and taking it. The mares waved fondly as he left his home, heading for the tent city to show his support. He wasn’t angry anymore, just doing his part.
“Hey Big Mac, we’re going for a run around the lake in the park, you wanna come?” A gaggle of stallions approached, bare-hoofed and smiling.
“Oh fer goodness sake!” Applejack went scarlet, shoving her face into her hat. “Cover them hooves!”
“Why? Are you loooooking?!” One of them laughed, waggling his hoof at her. There was wild laughter. Not one of the offending stallions was wearing his horseshoes, those rebellious deviants! Big Mac had to summon a lot of willpower not to laugh, patting his sister’s head. She was so shy when it came to stallions, poor thing. Well, maybe not shy. No, that wasn’t fair. Just not used to seeing a big group of stallions flashing their naked hooves at her. Sympathetic, Big Mac shook his head and led his sister away.
“I-Is it safe to look yet?” Applejack wanted to know.
“Yup.” Big Mac said kindly when they’d reached the edge of the encampment.
“Hey Applejack!” Rainbow Dash was pushing a cloud when she spotted the orange mare and her brother below. Setting it adrift, she swooped down and landed with a clop of hour hooves. “What’cha doing out here in tent city, huh?”
“Ah came to get mah brother, but he’s lost in this sea-uh-hooligans!” Applejack grumbled, putting her hat back atop her head. “Half of ‘em are runnin’ around bare-hoofed!”
“Hot.” smirked Rainbow Dash. Her eyes flicked down at Big Mac’s hooves, but he was still wearing his horseshoes. Darn. “He looks fine to me, I guess you came to make sure he was safe and stuff?”
“W-well I… I uh…” Applejack wilted with embarrassment. Big Mac arched his brow a little.
“What?” Rainbow Dash said a little aggressively at his look. “I know when to bow down to the superiority of the fairer sex!” she folded her arms with a grump. “Makes for a more peaceful Equestria, lemme tell you, knowin’ when to pick your battles with stallions!” she said to Applejack. “Besides, I kind'a like a stallion that knows what he wants and goes after it." she offered a respectful, confident tomboy of a smirk. Big Mac smiled. "When this petition thing is over and the peace is restored, maybe I can buy you dinner someplace. What do you think, big guy?” Rainbow flared her wings up flirtatiously, showing him her healthy wingspan. Much to her ego’s happiness, he flicked his gaze back and forth to admire her feathers for a fleeting moment. He nodded mutely, smiling.
“Oh no you don’t, Rainbow!” Applejack said tartly, scowling. “T’ain’t fair! Y'all remember what Twilight said when we became a herd! No pulling in another herdmate’s family members! That leaves one mare outta the romance an’ stuff!”
“Pfft.” Rainbow rolled her eyes, snapping her wings closed. “You want romance, you should go check out Sombra and Twilight. I saw him smooching her at a café table a few hours ago when I was on cloud detail.”
“What?” Applejack blanched. Big Mac threw his head back and laughed thunderously.
"Fwahhhh! Down with the mare-dominated establishment!" Lyra went by in the background, bare-hooved and waving an angry sign. Nopony really noticed or cared that she wasn't wearing horseshoes. But hey, she was doing her best to do her part.
To the Radiant and Beloved Diararchs of Equestria: Princesses Luna and Celestia,
We the stallions and other undersigned of Equestria, in order to form a more perfect country, establish social justice and ensure domestic tranquility, hereby petition for the following changes to be made to our fair country. In accordance with Equestrian law, we have provided 25,000 signatures of separate and legal citizens, all the age of seniority to ensure that it is the will of the people that these changes take place.
1. Equal Pay. We demand that sex or gender no longer play a role in the hiring or escalation of salary at any job, public or private. We wish for stallions to be paid the same as mares for the same work.
2. Equal Employment Opportunity. We demand that job applications no longer require pictures of the applicant. We believe there is a social stigma against stallions filling certain roles in the community including education, science, technology, government, and sociology (e.i. councilors, lawyers, therapists). Stallions are almost exclusively filling the roles of physical/manual labor in Equestria, and this is no longer acceptable to us.
3. The Ensured Right to Divorce Current Herd Alpha Mares and Elect a New One. We demand that, should an alpha mare perform poorly in her role as the leader of a herd, that it be a stallion’s decision to replace her with another member of the same herd. This is to be permanent and not up for veto until the original alpha mare is prosperous again, or once again is worthy of her role. Failure to do this would result in the permanence of the newly-elected alpha mare for the herd.
4. Nullification of the “From the Horse’s Mouth” Law. We demand that victims of sexual, physical, or emotional abuse on the part of others within one’s herd (or without), NOT be forced to come forward themselves. We demand a dual-witness law, in which an elected friend and/or relative may champion said abuse victim and report the illegal actions to the authorities— with or without their permission, with or without evidence, as long as there is no malicious intent present.
5. In Lieu Parentis, Punishment. We demand to have precisely half of the responsibility for our foals and adopted young, and en lu of our entire herd being able to care for our them, the ability to halt any and all activities until arrangements can be made. If not one of our herd’s mares can come forward to provide love and care, dire consequences should be set down. It is not merely a stallion’s job to care for the foals of a family unit. Failure for mares to do this should ultimately result in charges of foal neglect, especially given the greater size of some modern herds.
We the undersigned eagerly await the official addressing of the above petitioned subjects, and know that you will make the right decisions to lead Equestria’s stallions and mares to a greater and more prosperous tomorrow. We understand social change is not fast or easy— but it must start at the very top, with our beloved Diararchs.
“What do YOU want?” Lyra scowled as Bon Bon approached. She lowered her sign a little, stopping her rebellious picketing to talk with her.
The curly-maned mare sniffled pathetically at her angry life-partner, a little box in her teeth. She leaned, setting it at Lyra’s hooves. “P… Peace offering?” she said quietly, nosing it towards her. Lyra’s horn glowed, and the ribbon came undone. It was a little tray of nine sweet rolls, her favorite. “Can we talk, honey?” Bon Bon asked in a small voice.
“…kay.” said Lyra after some careful thought. The two of them went to a nearby park bench on the edge of the tent city of the S.o.S. They sat in silence, Bon Bon in the normal way and Lyra in her strange upright way. There were patrolling stallions holding angry signs and preventing intruders, peering back and forth like they were expecting to be invaded. More than a couple of guards were nearby in case anything got ugly. Arguments between mares and stallions were growing more common, and more than one arrest had been made in the past couple of days. Lyra waited for Bon Bon to speak, and Bon Bon refused to speak until Lyra had at least taken a bite of one of the sweet rolls.
“I’ve been really worried about you, sweetheart.” Bon Bon mumbled at the ground, her ears turned back. “Really really worried.”
“I’m a grown mare, I can take care of myself.” Lyra said grouchily, setting down her protest sign to focus on the sweet rolls and the words being spoken. “You never trust me to take care of myself, that’s why I’m out here. You think you know what’s best for me, like you’re my mother instead of my lover.”
“I care a lot about what happens to you!” Bon Bon said, soft-eyed when she looked over at her. “I know I seem pushy and controlling but… but I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. I don’t know what I would do if I came home one day and you weren’t there!”
“Celestia forbid I go out late at night with friends.” Grumbled Lyra, chewing idly and rolling her eyes.
“Celestia forbid I know where you are so I know you’re not lying in a gutter somewhere!” Bon Bon whimpered, coming close and putting a hoof on Lyra’s chest. Lyra looked at her frownily. Bon Bon took a few deep breaths. Hopefully Lyra wouldn’t move until the sweet rolls were gone. They were her favorite after all. “I-I just worry, Lyra, I worry so much…” she said softly, leaning against her beloved.
“Why? I can take care of myself.” Lyra said, her face betraying concern. Bon Bon wasn’t usually so shifty… was she trembling? Why was she trembling? “What is it, Bon Bon?” she whispered after a time. “What do you think you’re protecting me from?” she flicked her tail a little, shifting to pull her lover into her lap just a little.
Bon Bon wouldn’t meet her eyes for a long time. “I… something… something bad happened to me once, when I went out late with some friends.” She whispered quietly, hanging her head. Lyra’s eyes widened a little. Did she mean…? “I was going home from a club in lower Canterlot… it was late at night, I’d gone out with some friends and we all went home our separate ways.” she said, hiding her head under Lyra’s chin. “I never even saw his face. He dragged me into an alley and… and…” she began to quiver softly, then suddenly broke into sobs.
“Oh Bon Bon…” Lyra’s expression quietly shifted over to one of sadness and pity. “You never told me about that!” she pulled her close, pushing the little tray of sweet rolls aside to hold her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want you to know!” Bon Bon blubbered into her breast, clinging to her like a lost foal to its mother. “I didn’t want you to know why I don’t like you going out late at night! Please! Please come home! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorr-ee-hee-heeee!” Lyra began to tear up, burying her muzzle in Bon Bon’s candy-colored mane. “I w-won’t be so controlling anymore! I promise! I’ll do anything you say! Please, please come home!”
“Oh Bon Bon…” Lyra whispered, tears slowly brimming out over her eyelids. They embraced, and cried together. No wonder Bon Bon had been so nervous about Lyra being around so many stallions day in and day out. She was a victim. “Shhh-sh-shhhhh… c’mon, let’s go home. Shhh…” she rocked her back and forth a little, comforting her.
“R-really? You mean it?” Bon Bon looked up at her with big soft eyes.
“I don’t think it’s unfair to talk about a sort of…” Lyra paused, making a circular motion with her hoof as she fished for a word. “’Curfew’, I guess. I don’t have to be out ALL night when I go out with friends. I could make sure to have another early bird come home with me.” She offered, smiling. “That way I’m never alone.” They shared a kiss and another tender hug before leaving. Lyra forgot her protest sign there on the bench. Much tender lovemaking was had that night, and they fell asleep in each other’s arms.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
Derpy Hooves was quite possibly the happiest mare in all of Equestria. At the end of her mail route, she’d been routed by some males. After delivering the last letter in her bag, she trotted home on the hoof since her wings were tired. It didn’t take long for a few of the S.o.S. to spot her. They pointed, smiled wide, and gave chase. Soon, the grey mare had a line of ten or twelve stallions following her down the street. She stopped, turning and blink-blinking at them. “Hullo?” she asked.
“Hi!” they chorused, waving. When she turned to keep going, they kept following.
“Er, can I help you?” she stopped again to ask.
“We wanna know you more, Derpy!” they told her, coming close with male interest. Derpy blushed a bit, not used to all the attention. “You work so hard, and they say you’re not even in a herd! How did anypony pass up a gem like you?” a dark blue stallion wanted to know.
Derpy blushed, laughing a little. “Oh, w-well it’s always just been me and Dinky. I’ve never really gone for a herd or anything.” She said shyly as the group walked with her. The mailmare’s heart was aflutter. All this male attention, and they all wanted to be around her and hear what she had to say— it was like a dream come true.
“What’s a Dinky?” one stallion asked.
“My daughter. Sort of. She’s a unicorn, but she’s my little muffin.” Derpy sighed, smiling tiredly. She’d had a lover before her accident that had damaged one of her eyes and made it ‘derp’ oddly in one direction— the result of thier romance had been her daughter Dinky Doo. But, he’d not stuck around. Long, sad story, but Derpy was not a mare to sulk and moan about it.
“She’s a single mother?” one of the male herd gasped softly. “Whoever heard of such a thing! That takes a lot of guts, Derpy!” he said, soft-eyed as they went up Derpy’s little walkway and up to her porch. The Pegasus smiled bashfully, hunching a little as she fumbled for her key. There was a sound of little hoofsteps inside, and a tiny grey unicorn filly threw the door open.
“Mommy! Welcome home!” she belted, hopping into the air for hugs. Derpy sat on her haunches, embracing her daughter just like she did every single day.
“That is just darling!” one stallion said in a little mewling voice, leaning into one of his comrades. “She’s so little!” he pointed. The rest of the group leaned to see. Well! She did look a little underfed, though. This would not do. “One side, Derpy!” the group of stallions shoved past Derpy and Dinky, into their house.
“H-hey! What’re you guys doing?!” Derpy called. They were all in her kitchen, poking and prodding around in the fridge, the cupboard, and cabinets. “C-come out of there!” she raced past her daughter as a stallion nosed into the freezer, grumbling at what little he found there.
“Guys, this kitchen is a tragedy!” one stallion harrumphed, slamming the fridge closed. The others nod-nodded at him. Dinky came in, looking around a little fearfully. There were never so many ponies in their home— it was a little scary. “Derpy is such a good mother, and she and her daughter are practically skin and bone!” one of them threw open the pantry door. The shelves were modestly stocked, but it didn’t seem like much to them. “Just lookit this little filly!” one of them tickled Dinky and she squealed, going down on her back and wiggling energetically. “That belly is so flat! You can almost see her ribs!” he said with disapproval. “We gotta fix this right away!” said another. “You’re right, c’mon boys!” with that, the group of stallions filed out of the house and were gone. There was a long silence, mother and daughter just standing there awkwardly.
“Momma, what was all that about?” Dinky asked when she’d recovered from the tickling.
“I… I don’t know, muffin.” Derpy said, hanging up her mailmare’s hat and bag. “Ever since this Stallions on Strike thing started up, more stallions have been talking to me.”
“Well that’s good isn’t it? We’ve never had a stallion around the house before!” Dinky said innocently. Derpy puffed her cheeks a little, her eyes crossing as she tried to keep her mind out of the gutter. The poor mare hadn’t entertained the thought of a husband, much less a herd, in years.
So, she really didn’t expect her front door to slam itself open less than twenty minutes later. The same group of stallions piled in, all weighed down with groceries. “Alright boys, to the kitchen!” They rolled up their proverbial sleeves.
“Wait, what?!” Derpy said worriedly, rushing to see what was going on. But no, she was scooped up by a stallion or three. She and Dinky were taken to the living room and… for lack of a better term, fussed over and loved on. Dinky sat on a stallion’s back as he occupied a whole couch. She climbed back and forth on him as children were wont to do, giggling and laughing. Derpy, meanwhile, was the center of male attention and desire for the first time in her life.
“Derpy, you work soooo hard.” One of them was massaging her forehoof. The grey mare sputtered, red in the cheeks. “And you’re a single mother too, that’ just amaaaazing.” Another stallion gushed, working one of her wings with his teeth. He pulled a broken feather, making Derpy yelp a little, then melt into a putty of relaxation. A third stallion was fussing with the larger muscles of her shoulder blades and back. A crick was found and pressed on until an impressive crackle of bones was heard. “Dinky is so cute, I could just eat her up!” he pulled Dinky up by the scruff of her neck. The filly shrieked with laughter, flailing about. He set her down. “Can you do any magic yet, Dinky?” they wanted to know.
“A liddle, when Mom lets me!” the foal said brightly. “Can I show them Mom, can I?” she asked with big bright eyes. Derpy nodded, still trying to get over the outrageousness of what was happening. “Here I go, watch me!” Dinky pointed her stubby little horn at a vase of flowers sitting on the coffee table. She scrunched her adorable little face into a look of concentration. Her horn sparked and crackled as her magic glowed to life. “Hynnn!” the vase jolted to the left perhaps two inches, wobbled, then jolted back to the right almost exactly where it was.
“Oooooohh!” said the gathered stallions, clapping their hooves enthusiastically. The filly giggled, turning red-faced. “She’s cute AND talented! You’re a lucky mom, huh Miss Doo?” said a stallion, laughing a bit. Derpy nodded proudly.
Another half an hour went by before one of the stallions stuck his head out of the kitchen. “It’s ready!” he called as the others shuffled around the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on things. “Everyone to the table! Wash up, too!” he said, gesturing to the hall bathroom. They’d made dinner? Derpy scratched her head a little embarrassedly. It was one thing for a big group of males to invade her home, fuss over her, encourage her daughter and make them both feel loved… but cook them dinner too? This had to be heaven. Just had to be. After Derpy and Dinky had both washed for dinner, they were allowed into the kitchen again.
It was a strange sight indeed for the Doo household. Ten stallions, Derpy, and Dinky all crammed around their little dining room table. They’d fished the table leaf out of the closet, but it was still pretty crammed. They’d made a green bean casserole, macaroni and cheese, a fruit salad, hash browns, pressed egg-in-a-basket, mashed potatoes slathered with butter, stuffing, corn on the cob, seven different styles of celery crunch surprise, and cranberry sauce. It looked like a hearth’s warming feast! Derpy wondered exactly how they’d conjured all these dishes in just half an hour with her tiny oven. Surely each of those things were cooked at different temperatures to come out well? Or needed to be in the oven for longer or shorter times than one another? Or went cold at different rates if not? It was like magic! How had they done it all in under an hour? Derpy knew better than to question the power of a stallion in a kitchen. There was a cave pony saying that many mares adhered to:
Stallion cook inside with magic box! Oooh! Mare cook outside with fire! Waagh!
They talked and laughed and ate for hours, well beyond dusk. Dinky learned how to balance a spoon on the end of her muzzle, and every stallion took a turn having the darling little filly on his chair with him. Derpy kept finding extra helpings appearing on her plate when she wasn’t looking, and witnessed the first ever ten-stallion grape-launching contest. Whoever could launch a grape with a spoon catapult from one side of the table to the other, into another stallion’s mouth, was the winner. What did the winner win? Why, the chance to kiss Derpy on the cheek of course! Derpy didn’t quite recall giving her permission to be a prize in a contest, but she wasn’t about to protest. The winning stallion smooched her good while the others applauded, and the grey mare found herself laughing in delight. This ‘Stallions on Strike’ thing was the best thing that had ever happened to her!
“Don’t touch a thing, we made the mess we’ll get it. Where’s my Tupperware? No no, the other one! The big one!” As soon as the meal was over, the tons and tons of leftovers were split up, stuffed into sealable containers, and then put into the fridge. “Most mares can’t cook, it’s alright, we understand.” One of the stallions chuckled, patting Dinky’s head as he spoke. “We should get together and do cooking lessons sometime!”
“I’d like to learn to cook better…” Derpy stroked her chin thoughtfully, her good eye focused on the ceiling. The idea of a stallion teaching her to cook in her own kitchen was really appealing!
“Now you two, we’ve marked everything for expirations dates and such, so don’t eat anything that’s spoiled.” A stocky stallion told them, gesturing to the open freezer. They had stuffed it full of little ready-made meals using all the left overs. Derpy and Dinky would have home-cooked meals for weeks, and they both knew it. Both stared open-mouthed from where they sat at the table. “Welp, we better get outta here. It’s getting late.” one of them said, gesturing. “C’mon boys, time to head out.”
“Awwww!” They chorused, but the one that had spoken last was insistent.
Derpy and Dinky saw the odd herd of stallions to the door, thanking them over and over for their kindness and sudden visit. “Goodbye Derpy! Goodbye Dinky!” As each stallion went by, he pressed a kiss onto Derpy Hooves’ cheek on his way out the door.
Dinky was a pile of giggles by the time the tenth had gone out. The lip-marks all over her mother’s face were hilarious! Suddenly, the little filly leapt to her feet with a gasp. “Why didn’t we keep one?!” Dinky demanded, thrusting an accusing hoof at her mother.
“W-wuh… w-well…” Derpy’s cheeks were red, and her eyes derped out a little further than normal in her embarrassment. She puffed her cheeks out in a great sigh, watching the bachelor herd leave their front yard talking and laughing. Why HADN’T she tried to keep one? “Good question.” Murmured the grey mare to her daughter. “Maybe next time, huh?” she smiled bashfully. Derpy got the vivid image of Dinky lasso-ing a stallion and tying him to her bedpost at night like a pet. She snickered a little.
Stallions on Strike Part 10: Fluttershy’s Shipping
Fluttershy cantered along the main strip of the market, looking around a little feverishly. Her saddlebag had a big, perfectly round bulge in it. Her expression was worried, her eyebrows all scrunched upward and her mouth in a neutral little pout. As she approached the library, she stopped to coach herself a bit.
It hadn’t taken Rainbow Dash long at all to report to the rest of her herd that she’d seen Sombra kissing Twilight’s cheek at the café. This, of course, set all four mares to conspire. Obviously, this meant Twilight had made a move on the black stallion and he’d been accepting. If the alpha mare made a move, it was up to the rest of her herd to provide support to net themselves a stallion. There had been some debate about Sombra himself, but everypony seemed to have her reasons. Rarity liked royalty, so she was set. His pedigree was marvelous, past history aside. Fluttershy was attracted to his language skills. He’d seemed so well-spoken when they’d been there at the sleepover, and she herself could speak feral (the animal tongue). Rainbow Dash had to admit he was pretty sexy-looking after some thought. If a stallion was strong enough to rule a kingdom on his own, she knew he had to be a pretty tough guy. Applejack was unsure and undecided, but then again she was still distracted trying to get Big Macintosh to come home from the S.o.S.
“Alright. You can do this.” Fluttershy murmured from behind her mane, taking a deep breath to steady herself. “Twilight is counting on me to help too. Our herd needs a stallion.” She nodded to herself as firmly as she could. King Sombra was not evil anymore, and Twilight obviously thought he might be a worthy addition to their herd. If that was the case, then it was up to all the mares involved to entice him to maybe stay. Though Twilight would spearhead the ‘romance’ bit for a while, Fluttershy could still bring him a gift to make their family unit look appealing to him. Clearing her throat, she started forward again. This time with purpose. She finally stood on the library stoop and knocked gingerly.
It was Twilight that came to the door, smiling. “Oh hey, Fluttershy. What brings you by?” she said, opening the door the rest of the way.
“Is uhm… is King Sombra here?” Fluttershy asked, hunching a little with her feeble voice. Twilight blinked at her, then stood aside and gestured.
On the far end of the room at one of the little workstation tables, the black stallion sat murmuring over texts and scrolls. Sombra glanced up when he felt eyes on himself, “Yargh-worgh.” He said politely, lifting a hoof in greeting before leaning over his work again. The twenty-five thousand signatures had been gathered, he was preparing for the meeting with the Princesses. A royal petition did not come to fruition very often, after all, it was very important.
Fluttershy hesitated on the threshold of the library door. “Oh. Uhm… he seems busy.” She said hurriedly, turning as though to leave.
“Actually he’s been at it for about six hours straight. I thought he might take a break by now but he’s not budging.” Twilight smiled a bit. “Spike says that’s how I get when I find something new to study.” She admitted, giggling. The purple mare turned, gesturing at Sombra. “Hey! Fluttershy’s here to see you!”
“Yergh erf?” Sombra said, looking up curiously. Taking off his half-moon reading glasses and stuffing them away, he cleared his throat a little. Twilight politely went to the other end of the library so they could chat… though it wasn’t far away, given that it was all one great-room full of books. Fluttershy approached rather bashfully, looking anywhere but him. He fixed her with his bizarre, smoky gaze and a neutral expression of mild curiosity. “Ee-ergh-snargh-worf-blar-rrrrrrrrrr-guffaw?” he said, scratching the back of his head a little awkwardly and looking to one side.
“Oh no, there’s no hard feelings.” Fluttershy said quickly when he referred to the Crystal Empire incident. “Everypony has bad days and you just… uhm… had a really really bad one.” She smile shyly, her face mostly hidden behind her mane. After a few long moments of silence, she flinched back into action when she remembered why she was there. “Oh! I, uhm… brought you something?” it came out like a question. Bending her wing like a hand for a moment, she flipped her saddlebag open and knelt down. It was quite heavy.
THOK.
A round rock hit the floor, startling the black stallion a little with the sound of its weight. Free of her burden, the butter-colored mare nosed it at him a little. He stared at it for a few long seconds. Twilight’s brow furrowed. She hadn’t meant to evesdrop or anything, but why in the world would Fluttershy bring him a rock of all things? Fluttershy smiled bashfully, tucking one hoof over the other in an insecure sort of way. Sombra leaned down, squinting at it. Then his face lit up, “Crystallllls-ssss!” he hissed, lighting his horn. The rock broke down the middle by magic, splitting open like a coconut shell. Ohhh, it was a geode! Inside was a snowy-white series of glass-like crystals. Some of it was brown, but the deeper bits were very pretty! “Crystahhhh-ls!” he said again, leaning over it with interest and a big smile.
Fluttershy smiled as he levitated both halves up onto the table to see them better. Putting them on top of his work, he tilted them back and forth. Quartz wasn’t the most valuable sort of crystal, but he loved to see all the different colors. The Crystal Empire had only so many sorts of geodes, it was really interesting to see one from Equestria! Sombra grinned, thanking her enthusiastically. “I ah, thought you might like that.” Fluttershy glanced at Twilight for approval. The purple mare was smiling with amusement, and the yellow one took this as a good sign. “It came from the river near my home, uhm, I think there’s a few more in there but I tried to find a good one.” She smiled bashfully, gently opening her wings at him for a few moments… before quickly closing them with red cheeks. (She couldn’t do it! she wasn’t that brave! She just couldn't! Eep!)
Twilight arched her brow, a little caught off guard. Was that…? Nah, couldn’t be. Not Fluttershy. Pegasi sometimes showed off their wingspan to make themselves look... appealing. Heck, Rainbow Dash did it all the time, but doing it in front of a stallion was something else entirely. Rolling her eyes and mentally scolding herself, the librarian leaned over a copy of Gem and Crystal Formation: Rocks Under Pressure. She didn’t see Sombra smile rather coyly at Fluttershy. He went to her, thanking her again and taking her hoof to kiss it. Such a gentlecolt. Fluttershy smiled... and fled after that, heading for the door and outside. Sombra leaned over his gift with a big smile, entranced by all the little sparkles and patterns in the quartz.
Outside, Fluttershy let out a long-held breath. “Whewww…” That had been scary. She wasn’t used to being so bold! She held her chest, her heart aflutter with stress and excitement. Well, he’d liked his gift so she’d done well. Smiling at her reflection in a nearby puddle, she almost ran into Rarity when she made to leave.
“Oh, darling I almost didn’t see you there!” Rarity had a little gift-box floating next to her. Fluttershy eyed it a little, unaware she was staring. The two mares stared at each other, and silent words went back and forth between them. Fluttershy swallowed, turning pink in the cheeks and going around the white mare. “Is everything okay?” Rarity asked.
“Oh yes, don’t mind me.” Fluttershy smiled a little, “I was just, uhm… heading to the market.” She looked at the levitating gift-box next to Rarity with questions in her eyes, though. It gave her pause.
“Should I uhm, you know, wait a bit?” Rarity said, barely bothering to disguise what was going on. She gestured with her eyes to the library. Clearly they’d both had the same idea. Fluttershy let out a little squeak, and fled for her life. She couldn’t take the pressure! The seamstress stood there, a little stunned about what to do now. “Well… maybe a little peek wouldn’t hurt.” She set the box in her saddlebag, going to one side of the library stoop and leaning towards one of the windows. “Its not proper for a lady to spy but… well, it’s for the herd.” She decided firmly. Clearing her throat a little, she made sure no one was watching, then peered inside.
Sombra and Twilight were leaning over a thick book. Both were smiling and the black stallion had a rock in one hoof while Twilight was showing him something in the book’s pages. He nodded enthusiastically, gesturing with the stone. He tilted it back and forth and Rarity’s eyes caught the sparkle of quartz inside. Ahhh— Clever mare, Fluttershy. Rarity decided to let the alpha mare work her wiles on Sombra. She could come back with her box of chocolate-covered cherries later.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
Princess Luna leaned over the preemptive copy of the petition. “Equal wages?” she scoffed. “Divorce rights? Half-responsibilities for foals?!” she snorted, slapping the paper down on the table. “Do they even know what they ask? All five of those things are completely open to abuse and loopholes!” the dark alicorn dismissed them without another thought.
“It is rather hard to measure ‘half’ care for a foal.” admitted Princess Celestia. “I understand what it means, but there’s no way to really measure that.” The white alicorn was scratching notes on a scroll that levitated next to her. The solar diarch knew that King Sombra would come very prepared for the debate-slash-negotiations, so she intended to do her homework on such things. “Let’s go through them again, sister.” She prodded Luna. The night time princess groaned, rolling her eyes.
Princess Cadance sat to one side with Shining Armor, watching and giving input when the thought struck them. Shining Armor had made them all tea with lemon. February was not kind to anypony’s sinuses, and the smooth taste was nice to keep everypony calm. Going and throwing another log into the hearth, he stirred the flames up until the royal apartments got a little bit warmer. “Well, you know a lot of stallions are pretty charged about this.” Said the stallion thoughtfully, seating himself next to his wife. She nuzzled him, smiling. “Twenty-five thousand signatures is nothing to sneeze at.”
“I saw Twilight Sparkle’s name among those signed.” Celestia said, holding up their copy. Once the final signature had been written, the royal petition had copied itself and teleported through the royal mail. This gave all those involved a chance to study it before the official spokespony showed up to talk about its contents. Sombra was quite the verbal fencer, too, so the solar Princess wanted to sharpen herself before the time came. “This should prove very interesting.”
“A few from my platoon went AWOL to head for Ponyville.” Shining grumbled with disapproval. “They were saying that mares should be in the military too, if they expect the same sort of protection.” Cadance frowned a little worriedly. With military stallions running wild, that meant that the S.o.S. had warriors on their side now. If things turned ugly… it wouldn’t be good. Sheer numbers were one thing, but armored ponies with combat training was another thing entirely. “I’m up to my eyeballs in paperwork, trying to court-marshal the ones that went off without orders.”
Celestia frowned a little worriedly. “I was considering sending down a squadron or two to keep the peace, but now I am not so sure.” She opened her wings to stretch them. “This is a very charged situation, it needs to be handled delicately. I don’t want anypony getting hurt.”
“Agreed.” Cadance nodded. “A show of military force might put the S.o.S. on edge, like we were getting ready to put them all in jail or something.” She extended a worried wing over Shining Armor, who sipped his tea idly. “I certainly wouldn’t want to send a platoon down there, only for a riot to break out just because they happened to be there.”
Luna leaned over the paper of the petition, scowling over it again. “Number one.” She said aloud, reading. “Equal pay. We demand that sex or gender no longer play a role in the hiring or escalation of salary at any job, public or private. We wish for stallions to be paid the same as mares for the same work.” She read it word for word for everypony’s benefit, then scowled. “Poppycock.” She said.
“Why?” Shining Armor tilted his head with a frown.
“If a mare is more educated than a stallion, she deserves higher pay.” Luna said, gesturing with a hoof. “Or if she’s been there longer, or if the business suffers for some reason and has to adjust starting wages to be lower than before.”
“None of those reasons have to do with sex, Luna.” Cadance said, stroking Shining Armor’s back with a wing to soothe him. She hated to see her poor husband fret. He had enough responsibilities as it was.
“It is not within the bounds of the law to force businesses to pay ponies any certain salary.” said Celestia diplomatically. “We cannot enforce such a thing, unless it were strictly minimum wage. In that case, though, the law is already there.” She frowned thoughtfully for a time. “I don’t think we can legally grant that first one. Putting pressure on businesses to pay certain employees in a certain way infringes on their economic rights and profits.” She was quiet for a time to let this sink in. “I must go with Luna on this one.”
“Cellie that’s not fair! Mares make ten bits to any stallion’s seven in today’s economy!” Cadance said, upset. Shining Armor frowned, but knew Celestia was right. Without undoing a fundamental set of laws about minimum wage, salary scaling, and other things… there really just wasn’t a way to MAKE businesses pay stallions the same as mares.
Luna smirked a little, leaning over the second item on the petition’s list. She felt she had this battle well in-hoof if Celestia was siding with her. “Hrm, let’s see.” She murmured. “Number two. Equal Employment Opportunity. We demand that job applications no longer require pictures of the applicant. We believe there is a social stigma against stallions filling certain roles in the community including education, science, technology, government, and sociology. Stallions are almost exclusively filling the roles of physical/manual labor in Equestria, and this is no longer acceptable to us.”
There was a long silence as the three alicorns thought this one over. “If it were just the picture bit, I suppose we could grant that.” Celestia said thoughtfully. “I don’t see how it would help, though. You can tell gender from a name, usually. It doesn’t need a picture.” She sighed a little sadly. She understood what they were trying to say, but it just didn’t translate into law very well. “They would have to leave their names off entirely, and that’s not acceptable.”
Luna nodded. “Information and background checks would be instantly crippled overnight.” The night time Princess said, scanning through the wording of the petition again. “I would not hire a documented drunkard to work in my winery, nor a pyromaniac to build my fireworks.”
“Hrm.” Cadance said, frowning a bit and looking at her hooves where she sat on the couch with her husband. “You’re right, I suppose. Employers have a right to know the identity of those they’re considering hiring, that’s a given. I understand the picture bit too, but it’s sort of a moot point, isn’t it?” she looked at her herdmates. Even Shining Armor had to nod in agreement.
“Number Three.” Luna said, pulling her copy of the petition under her muzzle again. “The Ensured Right to Divorce Current Herd Alpha Mares and Elect a New One. We demand that,” she paused to snort derisively. “We love that they always word it ‘we demand’. As though their forward wording will get them what they want from their rulers.” She scowled over the wording for a bit. Celestia sighed, gesturing for her to continue. “Should an alpha mare perform poorly in her role as the leader of a herd, that it be a stallion’s decision to replace her with another member of the same herd. This is to be permanent and not up for veto until the original alpha mare is prosperous again, or once again is worthy of her role. Failure to do this would result in the permanence of the newly-elected alpha mare for the herd.” She paused for a time, frowning over it. “That’s so poorly worded we don’t know where to start.”
“That would give the stallions quite a bit of power over their herds.” Celestia said in a troubled way. Cadance nodded in agreement. “What do you think, Shining Armor?” she referred to her own herd’s stallion for reference.
“I dunno.” Shining admitted. “All of this is about the current balance of power which, you have to admit, is in the favor of mares. But, this would kind of give ALL the power to the stallions.” He scratched his chin in a troubled way. “That and, well, what do we define ‘performing poorly’ as? Not making enough money? Not keeping everypony in the herd happy? Not providing a big enough home to live in?” Everypony present had to admit that the third item on the petition was pretty open-ended and not something that could be legally done. “This is all so complicated.” Complained the stallion, scrubbing at his mane in an itchy way. All three alicorns nodded and sighed in unison. This was going to be a long night of serious debate and arguing for all of them. Luna sighed, starting the moon gently down from its apex.
“None of these sound like things that can be made into laws.” Celestia said softly, sighing. Her eyes narrowed in deep thought. There was more to be spoken about but it wasn’t in this petition. That was for sure. The sun princess was done being the indecisive middle-mare for this issue. She’d waited long enough trying to be the neutral party and let it work itself out. It was time to make her move. Taking up a blank scroll and royal quill— she began writing a letter to Applejack.
=-----=-----=-----=-----= A few days later… =-----=-----=-----=-----=
Sombra snored quietly, sitting on the couch in front of the slowly dying hearth with Twilight Sparkle. They’d draped a big thick blanket over themselves and settled in front of the fire. He’d completely forgotten his work for the upcoming S.o.S. petition debate with the princesses, and had been showing Twilight Sparkle the intricacies of crystal formation. With her big thick book in tow and his new geode from Fluttershy, they’d shared a relaxing evening of rest and learning. They’d fallen asleep leaning against each other in front of the fire, and not even Spike thought to disturb them. They were kind of cute together, really. Both of them had the same adorable head-tilted back, mouth open, little line of drool way of sleeping. Their horns were lightly pressed together, crossed over one another for support. Spike had been very tempted to get a camera.
Suddenly there was a rough banging on the library door, startling both ponies awake. “What? Whossat?!” Twilight Sparkle tumbled off the couch. Sombra fell to one side, yawn-growling with all his fangs in confusion. “Stay here, I’ll get it.” Twilight said just a little bit protectively, rising and grabbing a firefly lantern to see with. Coughing a little and trying not to be embarrassed that she’d fallen asleep on the couch with him, she quickly went to the door and peeked out. “Hullo?”
“Get Sombra! We need him!” it was a stallion she didn’t know.
“He’s sleeping. It’s the middle of the night.” Twilight lied, stubbornly taking up the doorway.
“Yeahhhhhh!” Snowflake was next to him, decked out in saddlebags and holding an angry sign.
“Haven’t you heard?!” a third stallion said, shouldering them both aside. “The Princesses denied the petition entirely! All five items!”
“What? They haven’t even spoken to the spokespony for the Stallions on Strike yet.” Twilight said blearily, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “They can’t deny a royal petition without a formal meeting with its spokespony. It’s the law.” She yawned a little, grumbling at their intrusion.
“Word just reached us from Canterlot!” Mr. Cake jostled all three stallions aside with an impressive, tiny little shoulder of his own. “The Princesses say the entire thing is bad and they won’t touch it, even with a meeting!” He said, panicked. “Even with our twenty-five thousand signatures!”
Twilight looked over her shoulder. She saw Sombra staggering around the room, still half-awake, throwing on his crown and fittings. Flashing magic through his mane to tame it, he started stuffing things in his saddlebags. She left the doorway to stop him. “Sombra, it’s the middle of the night, can’t you wait until morning?”
“Nyargh worgh! Erf-gurf-gyahh-oo!” he told her angrily, making her jump back a bit. Rolling up his scrolls with a whiplash of magic, he stuffed a series of sociology and etiquette books into his other bag. Throwing his cape over his broad stallion shoulders, he fastened it with a snarl. Dashing past her he…. He stopped in the doorway. He looked over his shoulder at her, frowning in an uncertain way.
“Please… don’t do anything stupid.” Twilight said as gently as she could. Lighting her horn, she fixed his crown a little. “Remember, you’re there to represent all the others on that petition. You have to be the best of them.”
Sombra heaved a big, trying-not-to-be-angry sigh. “Nyargh, Riygh-right Rarwgle.” he pressed his lips to her forehead in a quick, gruff kiss before stomping outside. Twilight stood there, red-faced, watching the parade of stallions marching down the street. The tent city had been furiously ripped down and packed up, and now it looked like the entire rabble was on the move. Sombra and the others joined them on the main strip of Ponyville, already heading for the edge of town. They had torches, pitchforks, and lanterns. They were armed with carts and tools and yokes. They made sure they had extra-extra-angry signs to wave. They left a thick trail of horseshoes as they left town. The Princesses wanted to deny their petition entirely?! Fine!
Fleur marveled, not for the first time, at the stupidity of stallions. One teensy little rumor, said in passing to a waiter on a corner café, and the wildfire had reached Ponyville in less than three days. Those mean ol’ Princesses, turning down the petition that the Stallions on Strike had worked so hard at! Pfft. Hitting a wasp nest with a stick wasn’t so easy as this. She was a model, a noble, and of excellent pedigree— but she also had a razor-sharp mind. Fleur de Lis was as ruthless as she was beautiful. Would she stir twenty-five thousand angry stallions to get her own home? Yes. Yes she would.
The slender white mare leaned on the balcony railing of her mansion home. Living on the upper tiers of Canterlot, she could see to the horizon with nothing obscuring her path. She’d been watching Ponyville in the evenings since Fancy Pants had vanished. It didn’t take a genius to know where he’d gone. He was down there with that rabble. Narrowing her eyes and draining her wineglass, she tossed it over her shoulder. A butler launched himself onto his belly to catch it before it shattered on the ground. Fleur stepped over him gracefully as she went back inside to save herself from the febraury evening chill. Adjusting her lovely, curling pink mane with one hoof, she gave a quiet smile.
Those stupid ponies were flooding to Canterlot in a great line of torches and pitchforks, they could be seen miles away even at night. It looked like a great fiery snake winding its way towards Canterlot. The Princesses would’ve been told by now, of course, but it wasn’t them Fleur was interested in. Fancy Pants would be among that idiotic crowd, all she had to do was pluck him from it and take him home. Then she could deal with him in private.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
Princess Luna murmured over an agenda of facts and figures. The night court was quiet as usual, with so few visitors the dark alicorn had long ago taken up the task of straightening out tax laws that intertwined with each other. Just the other day she’d nullified a law whose punishment was death by catapult! Though this particular method of execution had always been hilarious to Luna’s darker sense of humor, launching a pony into the sky so he could land elsewhere and die on impact was a bit out of date… especially for a law about paying money to the government for the rights to more than five lakes on one’s property.
One of the stallion guards at the base of the dais scratched his nose, a discernible sound in all the quiet. Luna found it serene, like a fresh frost or a lake during the middle of the night. Glancing up at the three-quarter moon, she stroked it lovingly with her magic. It edged across the sky like it always did.
It was then that a murmur started. Something in the distance that sounded like many voices mumbling to each other. She perked her ears, her hoof pausing on her abacus and her quill pausing in midair. She turned her head. What was that speck of orange in the sky? She squinted. That wasn’t the sun… nor a wayward red star. She thought briefly… no, there was no red star in that part of the sky that she’d placed there. It was getting bigger too. Was it coming down? Something falling? “Hm?” she said audibly. Both of her guards turned their heads, then up at what she was looking at. The flickering orange light gave a high, wide sort of arc.
Captain Stalwart Hide screwed up his eyes, his excellent night vision piercing the dark. His eyes widening. “Princess!” he rushed up the dais and tackled Luna right of the throne! The alicorn squawked in anger and confusion as they tumbled down the stairs, him shielding her as best he could.
Suddenly a bottle of petrol attached to a burning rag landed right on the throne and it burst into flames! “An assassin!” Luna shouted angrily, rising and throwing out her chest. Her magic ignited, pressing the flames down. More orange dots were appearing in the sky. “What is this madness! Captain Aegis Shield, find out what’s doing this!” she roared as the other.
The stallion galloped to the giant double doors, reached to throw them open, and was bowled over when they burst from their hinges. “Grab ‘im! Grab the guards of the oppressors!” A stallion shouted. The poor pony was quickly overwhelmed in a pile of bodies as an angry crowd boiled headlong into the throne room. Debris and trash and more fiery cocktails went flying into the tapestries, igniting them into flames! Windows blew out as bricks flew. The armored ponies in the room were rounded up quickly. Resistance was met with brutality and before long they’d been forced down by sheer numbers and body weight.
“Princess! Run away! I’ll cover you!” Captain Hide said in a panic. Spreading his wings to make himself look bigger and tougher, he leapt into the fray. One guard stood no chance against an angry mob, though, and he was quickly subdued with improvised weapons and rope.
Luna stood stock still like a deer in headlights, unable to believe the sudden violence that had burst into the throne room. Where were all her guards?! What had happened to the palace staff?! How had this angry mob just waltzed into the throne room?! “Very well, if thou shalt approach the crown with violence, violence be upon thee!” The dark alicorn ignited her horn to strike them down with deadly moon magic. It didn’t keep five or six stallions from tackling the night time Princess to the ground. “OOF?!” she squawked, her crown flying off of her head and to the tile. Somepony smashed it angrily, scattering the pieces. “Unhoof me!” she roared as strong ropes went over her wings. “Unhoof me!” she swore colorfully as a blindfold was rushed over her eyes. The mare whinnied in panic, bound and blinded.
“Where’s the other two?! We’ve gotta get them all!”
“Bed I bet, c’mon let’s go!”
“Rabble rabble rabble!”
“Down with the mare! Down with the oppressive diarchy!”
No one really bothered to call them out that their particular diarchy was made up of three mares, not two, but no-pony was really that brave right now. “Take ‘er to the dungeon, we’re gonna but them on trial with all the rest! Bucking tyrants!”
“UNHOOF ME THIS INSTANT OR BY ALL THAT IS *WRRFHPH?!*” Luna gagged when somepony shoved something into her mouth to shut her up.
“What?! We can’t hear you! You’ve got a tomato in your mouth!” one stallion cackled. “Keep quiet, you bitch!” he kicked her a little. Luna whimpered, frightened as she was shuffled and tossed back and forth by the angry rabble. What were they going to do with her?! Strong ropes heaved the Princess to her hooves and she was dragged roughly forward by the angry crowd. “Find the other two!” shouted the one holding Luna’s leash. “We’ll get her to the dungeons!”
“Mrhphh-mhrm?!” Luna shrieked into her bonds, rearing and flailing her hooves wildly. Igniting her horn she fired magic wildly into the crowd. Stallions fell over, shrieking in pain and writhing about. Kidnap a goddess would they?! She would not go down so easily! These wretched stallions would be taught their place!
“Magic!” somepony shouted. A line-up of angry male unicorns quickly surrounded her, igniting their horns. Suppression magic could be quite powerful when enough ponies got together. Luna felt the glow of her horn sputtering. They encircled her, and the moon goddess was driven to her knees by the sheer power of their combined anger and magic. Something knocked the blindfolded alicorn over, and she could feel more ropes dashing over her this way and that. She writhed, finally splitting the tomato in her mouth and letting out a full-throated scream. The sound echoed from the throne room and out over the palace.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the castle…
“This is so embarrassing…” Shining Armor mumbled as Celestia leaned down and opened her mouth a bit. Mischief was alight in her eyes. A golden bit set itself gently in her teeth and she fit the bridle over her head. “We use those for bed play!” he whispered fiercely, heat in his face.
“Luna cried out, you heard her. The S.o.S. are here. Twilight’s letter was crucial, warning us like that.” Celestia lisped a little through the bit, folding her wings down into a submissive position. “You have the cuffs?” she asked, smiling just a little.
Shining Armor mumbled something weakly, his cheeks red as he nodded. Coming close, he slipped the silvery hoof-cuffs around her dainty, milky little ankles. They clicked nicely into place, and she shifted to make sure the chains were strong. They nodded to each other. Working gently, she secured the back two cuffs as well. The white alicorn would not be able to run anywhere in this condition, and with a bit and bridle on her she could be physically steered any which was she was mare-handled. “You’re sure this will work?” Cadance said worriedly, trying to make sure they weren’t too tight on Celestia’s slender legs.
“Not at all.” Celestia’s twinkle-eyed smile matched her giggle. Shining Armor leaned and kissed Celestia’s cheek, still very upset about this whole plan. “Now, I need you to hit me, dear.” Celestia presented her nose to him.
“I-I can’t do it!” Shining Armor said, fretting back and forth. Cadance stared, wide-eyed. Wait, what?! “We’re a peaceful herd, we don’t put our hooves on each other like that! C-can’t you just fake it?!”
“There needs to be a mark. It’s alright.” Celestia cooed softly, holding his cheeks with her cuffed front hooves. Sitting on her haunches she leaned at him again. “Go on, you need to do it before they get here or none of this will work.”
“What if I hurt you, Tia?” Shining Armor whimpered a little, lifting one of his big hooves up and looking at it. “I’d never forgive myself!” the white stallion looked at Cadance for help, but for the first time in a long time the princess of love was silent. The plan, though they’d not shared it with Luna, was a brilliant one. As soon as they’d heard that the Stallions on Strike were coming three days early to the petition summit, Celestia knew there had been foul play. So, of course, the only thing to do was to play into it entirely— then turn it on its head. Hopefully Applejack would do her part.
“Captain Shining Armor— I am commanding you, as Princess of Equestria,” Celestia drew herself up with a rare and disturbing frown. The stallion flinched a little when she used his rank. She never did that in their private chambers. “Punch me in the face.” She hunched forward like a white vulture, fixing him with the scary face. “That is an order.” Suddenly lots of hoofsteps could be heard coming down the hall. “It’s this way! This way! The royal apartments are over here, we’ll catch ‘em!”
“They’re coming!” Cadance whispered worriedly. “If anything is gonna happen it has to be now!” she spread her pink wings and stood, looking back and forth between the big double doors and her herdmates.
“Oh jeez…” Shining Armor lifted a hoof, worry etched on his brow.
“The stability of Equestria rests on this.” Celestia said hurriedly. “If you don’t do this, our entire country could fall to ruin. Social unrest could ripple for decades, and tear apart the government.” She opened her wings at him, intimidating. The door shuddered on its frame. The S.o.S. had reached them. “Hurry! Please!” Celestia leaned closer.
Shining Armor screwed up his courage and, just as the S.o.S. forced the door, the white stallion punched Princess Celestia right in the eye! The angry mob stopped to stare as she cart-wheeled ass-over-tea-kettle backward, launching her crown across the room, and collapsed into a heap of pain and white feathers. The shiner on her right eye was positively spectacular. There was silence in the room. They couldn’t believe what they’d just seen. Never in their most violent fantasies, or scenerios about how to capture an alicorn— it was almost too much to process. “I got her!” Shining Armor quickly turned to the stallions wielding signs and improvised weapons. “It’s okay! I got her cuffed, she's not going anywhere!”
“I surrender!” Cadance quickly put her hooves up when she was menaced with a broken table leg and a very scary-looking corn on the cob. (What? She didn’t know what they were going to do with the corn on the cob!)
“Let’s take ‘em to the dungeon with the other one!” said one stallion boldly.
“No!” Shining Armor grabbed the chain that was holding Celestia’s front hooves together roughly. She gave a convincing whimper. “I-I-I uh… I spent way too long subduing her! She’d going on trial right now for her crimes against stallions!” he tried to follow the script.
“She is?” asked somepony in the crowd.
“Uhh, er, yeah!” Shining Armor coughed, wavering for a moment. “She’s been running Equestria pretty much by herself for the past thousand years! It’s her fault things are uh… like this! I’m takin’ her to the throne room so she can stand trial in front of ever’pony before we decide what to do with her!” he suddenly found himself with an accent when he was pretending to be angry. Odd. Shining Armor fixed Celestia with an only half-convincing scowl. She did her best to look frightened, the ache in her face pulsing.
“I like it! Let’s do it!” One stallion said, fixing a rope loosely around Cadance’s neck. A willing prisoner would not be harmed. It was only polite, after all. The princess of love was led away to the palace dungeons.
Shining Armor clambered onto Celestia’s back, gently taking the reins that were attached to her head. The Princess blushed a rather bright crimson as her straddled her back. “Now uh, get moving, uh… you uh, you old nag!” the guard captain said threateningly, making a little motion with the reigns. He tugged and the bit steered the sun Princess’ head to look straight forward. Celestia made a show of lowering her head in a submissive way, tucking her ears. This pleased the onlookers, and they parted so the alicorn could get past them.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
Applejack, Applebloom, and Granny Smith arrived on the edge of Canterlot on a train being pulled by a rather large herd of mares. It took two, almost three times as many mares to pull the locomotive than stallions, but the need was dire.
They surveyed the scene. It was anarchy in the streets! Stallions were running around, breaking windows, lighting flowerbeds on fire, busting down doors and scribbling naughty words on walls. Where was the royal guard?! Where were the local police?! Why was nopony containing all this?! It very suddenly struck Applejack that all the guards and police were stallions. They were a PART of this madness. “Alright, c’mon y’all, this is gonna be a close one.” She looked around making sure Applebloom was close. “Don’t nopony wander off, and don’t nopony stop to talk to nopony. We don’t wanna get mobbed!” Granny Smith had fallen asleep on her hooves, and needed to be nudged awake so they could continue. The middle of the night had not been kind to the elderly mare. “Y’all comin’?” the orange farming mare asked those on the train car with her.
Mr. Cake stepped off the train with Pinkie and Mrs. Cake, twins in tow. Spike and Twilight Sparkle stepped off the train after them. Fancy Pants and Prince Blueblood stepped off with the group. Derpy Hooves, Dinky, and a gaggle of strangely happy stallions were the last off the train. They all looked at each other. So much had changed since one stallion had stopped to say no, and started this entire wave of craziness. Each of their little herds had been drastically affected. Now, they just had to find Big Macintosh and make for the palace. According to the letter Applejack had gotten, her older brother was the key to everything.
“Fancy Pants, honey…?” Fleur de Lis melted out of shadow, having sensed her husband coming on the train. There was a spell on his monocle so she would always be able to sense him when he was nearby. He hadn’t been hard to track down.
“No.” Fancy Pants said, turning his eyebrows down into an angry scowl.
“Sweetie this is all a bit much, isn’t it?” she slicked her way through the gathering like the eel she was, putting her hooves on his chest.
“No.” Fancy Pants said again, his back legs trembling. “Fleur, I’m leaving you. You’re a bad mare.” He recited like it was from a script, but he meant every word. Fleur looked startled, and Prince Blueblood smiled proudly.
“Ohhh, honey no!” Fleur said dramatically, throwing herself on him. “Don’t do that! Let’s just get you home and we can get this entire thing settl-!”
“Get me home so you can beat me some more?!” Fancy exploded, throwing her off of him with a garruff of strength. “Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me ever again! Consider this a divorce!” Blueblood’s smile was getting wider and wider as his friend finally found his courage. Being amongst the charged, angry S.o.S. had brought out the stallion’s wild side.
“You can’t just divorce me!” Fleur shrieked.
“Yes I can! See this?! This is my divorcing face!” Fancy Pants said, taking off the monocle and throwing it on the ground. “And you can keep that too! I know there’s a spell on it to track me, you creepy mare!” he stomped on it to shatter the little lens of glass.
“Fancy, honey…” Fleur de Lis was losing her patience, brow lowering into an ugly scowl. More than a few wrinkles appeared all over her usually beautiful face. She was UGLY when she was mad! “Think about what you’re saying…” Fancy Pants turned around and, in front of everypony, flicked his tail up at her. He showed her his balls. (Applejack’s hooves DASHED down over Applebloom’s eyes.) He’d grown a pair in Ponyville, and he was proud of it. “Don’t be vulgar!” she shouted angrily, thrusting an accusing hoof at him.
“Damn.” Fancy said with a smirk, turning his nose up at her.
“I said—!”
“Bitch.” Blueblood was giggling aloud at this point.
“Stop saying—!”
“Cunt.” Twilight was a little red-faced at all the swearing pouring out of Fancy’s mouth.
“Stallions shouldn’t say such—!”
“Shit?” Fancy offered, smirking deviously.
“AUGH!” Fleur stomped her hooves angrily. “You’re acting like such an immature—!”
“FUCK!” Fancy cackled, throwing his head back with a laugh. Applejack’s hooves were over Applebloom’s tender little ears, but she looked ready to burst out laughing. Everypony present knew what was going on between Fancy and Fleur, he’d told them on the trip from Ponyville. This was just gold!
Fleur stomped away. “You want to be single again?! Fine! I’ll nab another husband with my money and beauty just like I did you!” she roared, turning the corner with a whinny of rage. “You’re nothing without me, Fancy! Nothing!” the supermodel, noble pony of high pedigree left her husband right then and there.
Fancy stood there, shaking a little. He’d never felt so alive. “I did it.” He said, watching her go. “I did it!” he threw his hooves up in victory! Blueblood threw his arms around his friend, squeezing him. “She’s gone! She’s gone, I did it!”
“And you did it with just your words.” Prince Blueblood said, squeezing him harder. “I’m proud of you, friend.” He said, nodding. “So. How long before you go to the royal guard about all… that?” he said, gesturing to the almost-gone black eye that was on Fancy’s face.
“I’ll wait until she’s juuuust about to get married again.” Fancy said.
“Oh-hoh, you rebel.” Blueblood smirked.
“W-well, as interestin’ as that was.” Applejack said, smiling nervously. “Princess Celestia’s letter said we gotta find Big Mac and get our butts to the palace before Canterlot burns to the ground! Let’s go, everypony!”
“YEAH!” the group shouted, dashing down the street and away from the train. Big Macintosh Apple was a massive stallion with a big barrel chest, hopefully he wouldn’t be too hard to spot. There were only, what, almost thirty thousand stallions in the city? No sweat…
Princess Cadance sat curiously in a prison cell. She’d been given a nice blanket, some straw to eat or nest in, and the place had been swept before her arrival. She tilted her head a bit at her three captors, a trio of stallions assigned to take care of her and Princess Luna.
Though, Princess Luna was a bit less well cared-for. The midnight mare lay hogtied with rope around her muzzle and an inhibitor ring over her horn. She glared fire and brimstone at them from where she lay on the stone cold floor. Her cell was not nearly so nice. It smelled of old straw and rat poo.
“Alright, what now?” one of the three stallions asked the other two.
“I found this book in the jailor’s office, lookie.” An orange Pegasus with a dark blue mane lifted a slim volume from under his wing and showed them. “’All You Need to Know About Caring For Prisoners But Were Afraid to Ask.’” He read the title off. “By Gate Key.” He showed them the picture of the author in the inside flap. They frowned, for it was a mare’s picture. “Hrm, well, it hardly matters. Let’s see what she has to say.” They flipped it open and crowded around. They mumbled over the table of contents, then skipped around for a bit.
“Luna, are you okay?” Cadance whispered, looking over at her with concern. Luna would’ve snarled angrily if not for the rope tying her mouth shut. The stallions were not stupid, they knew the Princess of the Night would try to use the Royal Canterlot Voice on them, or worse, if left to her own devices. “W-well, other than the obvious.” The Princess of Love smiled a little painfully, pawing at the rope that hung loosely around her neck. They’d lasso’d Cadance, for lack of a better word, but she’d been a willing prisoner and had not been harmed.
“Ah, here we go!” said the orange Pegasus stallion. He read from the text. “When you have your prisoner secure in a cell,” he paused, and all three stallions checked that the two alicorns were, in fact, in cells. “Mkay,” he mumbled, back to the book. “You must remember that they rely on you for anything and everything, and they cannot get it themselves because they are being held there.”
“Makes sense.” One stallion said, nodding.
“Also remember to feed, water, and care for your prisoner, and keep them in good shape. If they get sick or something, it’s all your fault and nopony else’s!” The orange stallion read aloud. The other two nodded along.
“Would you like some tea?” offered the stallion to the right in earnest.
“Oh? Uh, yes, please.” Cadance smiled a bit. They checked to make sure the thin little rope was tied securely to the cell bars, then went to fetch said tea. All three of them. The alicorn scratched her head. They’d not picked the brightest stallions to keep their prisoners, but… oh well. Celestia had told her what to do, and she was doing it. She only hoped Shining Armor was doing alright. Turning, she checked on Luna again, who was wriggling furiously now that the guards were gone.
But no, Luna had been tied tightly so she couldn’t escape without magic. She couldn’t chew on her ropes, or kick free of them either. Even her wings had been bound. With the inhibitor ring on her horn, not even the moon herself could aid her down in this dungeon. She wanted very much to drop the moon on Canterlot, just to teach those striking stallions a lesson. She caught Cadance staring, with the slender little rope around her neck. It wasn’t even tight like a dog’s leash! She eyed her up and down, furious to know why the other Princess had not been bound and gagged as well.
A few minutes later, the trio of ponies returned. One of them had a tea set on his back, bringing it to the bars. They stopped to stare. They couldn’t get all that in the cell without opening the door. “Hrm…” they opened the book again to check. Flipping pages, they found the proper passage. “When giving your prisoner an item or items, make sure there is nothing among them that they can hurt themselves or others with. Use the following phrases to coax them into compliance…” he trailed off, tilting the book at one of his companions.
Checking that Cadance was paying attention, the stallion recited. “Back! Back, you! Against the wall where we can see you! No funny stuff, or else!” it didn’t sound the least bit intimidating, but it was in the book so it had to be right.
Cadance tried very hard not to smile, “Yessir.” She said compliantly. Backing up as much as the rope looped loosely around her neck would allow, she stood with her butt against the cool stone wall. Luna watched, aghast. How could she let them order her around like that?! She was a Princess!
When she was back far enough, they used a simple iron key to open the cell door. Bringing the little tea set into the cell, they set it down for her, then retreated outside and locked it fast. “There now!” they checked Cadance, checked the tea set… then consulted their book again. This thing was so useful! “Remember to only reward a prisoner for good behavior… mkay, just did that… and to take things away when they’re bad. It is up to you to help them become better ponies, and they must understand that good behavior is always good for everypony in the end.”
“Sounds right.” said the stallion on the left. They flipped a few more pages, looking over at Luna. “What do we do about her?” they gestured to the Princess of the Night. “I mean, she looks pretty taken care of.” Luna watched Cadance serenely start making tea for herself, then started bashing her head against the floor. She wasn’t sure when she was going to stop. “What’s the book say about that?” he winced.
“Er…” they flipped pages back and forth while the dark alicorn kept trying to knock herself out. “Self-destructive behavior, here it is!” he jabbed a hoof into the text. “If a prisoner engages in self-destructive behavior, it may be a sign of self-hatred, boredom, or thirst for attention. Keep the pony engaged in a pleasant activity to keep his or her mind occupied, and with time the behavior should cease." Luna wanted to explode when the stallions left and came back with a kitten for her to play with. They set it in the cell with her, and it went to nuzzle her nose. Luna groaned, sighing and going limp at last, giving up. This was the worst torture she could possibly imagine.
“I dunno, she still looks pretty upset.” said one of the three, scratching his chin. “I know what helps me feel better when I’m upset!” he grinned suddenly, getting into his saddlebags and rooting around. The other two stallions leaned, and he produced a hairbrush. “Make-overrrrr!” he squee’d. Both of the other stallions’ faces lit up. Luna’s eyes bulged and she started to struggle again. Cadance giggle-snorted into her tea.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
Princess Celestia tried to make herself look small and pathetic as she walked, but it was rather hard given that she was twice as tall as everypony present. With Shining Armor rather meekly riding on her back, she was steered down long halls and to her own throne room. Put up on the dais, she watched as group after group of stallions filed into the room. The chaos out in the streets had lulled as word spread of their victory over the solar tyrant. It did not take King Sombra long to show up either, spearheading the S.o.S. with his mighty Princess. There were cheers as he mounted the dais and stood with Celestia. Shining Armor clambered off her back, and after a little coaxing, tied the alicorn’s bridle to her own throne. She sat on her haunches, hunched a little, with a brilliant black eye.
The room got louder and louder as more and more males flooded in, waving angry signs and pitchforks and improves weapons. Celestia didn’t dare look at them. After a time, Sombra raised a hoof for quiet. He was their spokespony after all, and it was time for him to speak! Turning to Celestia, he opened his mouth to shout something accusing, but was suddenly interrupted.
“Excuse me, pardon me! Hey, no touching! Owch! Lemme through, it’s important!” A mare was making her way through the crowd, roughly tossed about and jostled as she went. “I have something for the S.o.S. leader, honest! Make room, ugh! Owch!” Stallions made her trip across the room a real obstacle course, through all the muscle and angry faces and such. She had serious balls, going into the room full of angry stallions. She was light blue, with a dark-blue-with-white-streak mane. “Out of my way you hussy! King Sombra! King Sombraaaa!” she tried to call out over the crowd.
Sombra turned, cocking his head. “Wargh?” he wanted to know, furrowing his brow. Wasn’t that his… dentist? What was she doing here? She finally made her way to the base of the dais, waved energetically, and started up it like she owned the place. A quartet of armored solar guards stopped her, glaring. Sombra waved them away. It wasn’t like a dentist could harm him, anyway. “Wargh-rawrgh-snargh, Karg-argh?”
“Well you missed your appointment a few days ago, silly!” Colgate smiled, her brilliant pearly-whites bringing a bright shine into the room. “I came to let you know you can take your lines out now!” Sombra’s face lit up as she got into her saddlebags for a moment. “Hold on, hold on, let me get them properly. No use in realigning your teeth after a thousand years of no attention if you’re gonna rip out the bracers I put in!” she leaned as he opened his mouth. The crowd watched, a little confused, as Colgate snapped a white mask over her muzzle. Leaning with a dentist’s drill and a tiny-tiny-tiny Allen wrench, she leaned towards his mouth. Working quickly and expertly, she undid the metal bits that were affixed to the roof of his mouth. One at a time, she removed the installation that had been helping his fangs not intrude on the rest of his teeth. Having large canines could really harm your mouth if they weren’t cared for properly! Thank goodness Sombra had gone straight to a dentist after his release from the powers of darkness. He did care a good deal about his charming, kingly smiles, after all. “Therrrre we are then!” she pulled the mask off when she was done with her work. She gave him a brand new toothbrush with his name inscribed on it. “See you in six months for your check-up!” she turned on her hoof and was away.
“Thank thee.” Sombra said, stuffing the ice-blue toothbrush in his breastplate. “I shalt be there.” Clearing his throat a bit, he smoothed his outfit to look presentable again. The crowd parted for the dentist as she left, more than a little shocked.
“Oh thank goodness!” Somepony in the back shouted loudly. “I thought that was his accent before! I couldn’t understand a word he was saying!”
“Forgive my mild lisp up to this point, friends.” Sombra’s voice was deep, syrupy, and rang like a bronze bell over the crowd. Something in it shook the air, vibrated it like the tones of a church signal bell or a tuning fork. It was a powerful thing meant for great speeches, soothing reveries, and wise statements. Everypony in the room oooh’d apprieciatively, hoping he had more to say. “But now, to business!” he turned about with a flare in his cape. “Princess Celestia, thou has much to answer for!” he spoke for his ponies, and voiced their anger. “Word hath reached us that thou have denied our perfectly legal petition without waiting for the summit between yourselves and a representative of its party. Namely, me.” He gestured regally to himself. “Doth this be true?” His lexicon was odd, that of a stallion from a thousand years ago— when he’d been sealed away. Much like Luna, he’d only been back a short time, and it showed.
Celestia blinked at him. Or, did the best she could to blink with one black eye. “…no?” it came out like a question, shocked.
“No?” Sombra was caught off guard. He cocked an eyebrow when she shook her head to confirm. “No?” he asked again.
“The summit is in three days still, isn’t it?” Celestia turned to Shining Armor, the stallion holding her bridle. He nodded a few times. “Who told you that I or my sister had denied your petition outright?” she asked softly, trying not to sound righteous or threatening.
“Who was it?” Sombra turned, calling out over the crowd. “Who brought that news from Canterlot?” he made a sweeping gesture. There was hush. “Bring me the royal missive that says it!” The room was silent for a long time. “Well?” he called. “There must be some shred of evidence that bequeaths this! We can’t have marched for two days on the deceptive wings of rumor!” Everypony in the room was looking back and forth amongst themselves. Who had brought that news? They didn’t know. Somepony had said it, then it had spread like wildfire but… had it been written in a letter somewhere? Had Celestia declared it to the public? Luna, maybe? None of them knew, they’d just been following the crowd. Sombra sagged a little. “Thou art joking.” He said blandly. “Thou art joking, right?” They looked everywhere but him, and Celestia could almost taste the guilt in the room. She looked up, cocking her head.
“I made no shh-uch claim, my little ponies.” Celestia added helpfully through the bit in her mouth. “The summit was-shhh to happen in three day’s-sh time between Shh-ombra, Cadanc-sh-e, Luna, and myshh-elf. There, we were going to discuss the royal petition you all worked so very hard to bring to frui-shhh-ion.” She reached up and touched her swollen eye a little gingerly, looking rather hurt. The bit in her mouth made her sound ridiculous. “But… that didn’t happen. It seems-hhh you arrived a bit early.” She wilted her ears and hung her head to one side. Shining Armor put an arm around her for comfort, trying to smile for her.
The guilt in the room increased tenfold.
Pitchforks were lowered. Angry signs slowly came down from their high positions. There was mumbling throughout the throne room. They’d made a pretty bad mistake. King Sombra clenched his teeth so hard his cheeks were vibrating. Fools! All of them, fools! Even himself! Some weak rumor had sparked all this fire and rage after they’d been patient enough to go through legal channels to make all this happen?! He heaved a deep, shuddering breath. “Everypony, go home. Now.” He told them. “Back to Ponyville and elsewhere to thy homes.” He bade them. “Thy part in this is done.” They stared at him in shock. Go home?! Now?! They murmured back and forth. He couldn’t tell them what to do! He was an elected official, he represented them—he didn’t command them! Anger rippled through the room and they started to glare at him. Celestia looked around rather worriedly. Sombra’s horn took on a sickly black glow. His eyes flared over to a neon, blinding green as flames poured from them. A spectral aura flared around him, concussing the air as dust rushed away from him in a ring. “THOU WANTED ME TO FIGHT FOR YOU?! HERE I AM! I AM DOING THIS—MY WAYYYY!” Every window in the throne room exploded outward by the pure, concussive force of his voice. It was like Luna’s Royal Canterlot Voice, but deeper and more masculine. The crowd was driven to its knees, terrified. “Foals! All of you! Foals! Instead of talking to your mares and herdmates you stir up this frantic rebellion and listen to rumor instead of reason! I came to help and thee THIS is what happens?! Shame upon thee all! APOLOGIZE!” he brow-beated, pointing at Celestia. “We were doing this in a legal, responsible way to bring about social change! APOLOGIZE!” he roared again, snapping his hoof at the white alicorn. Celestia peeked at the crowd a little, unsure. She’d not expected this. She’d hoped Applejack would find Big Macintosh and helped to talk some sense into the S.o.S.— meet their demands with love and understanding instead of mandatory laws— but this was something else entirely. She’d not expected the leader of the bunch to turn on his head like that!
There was mumbling and guilty looks all around. “S-sorry…” one stallion near the front said. “Sorry, Princess.” said another. “Ahm sorry too.” An Apploosian accent floated over the crowd. A little breeze of sorry’s floated around the room for a bit, until every stallion had said his piece.
“Go home.” Sombra repeated a little more kindly. “Make thy wives listen. Make thy herdmates listen.” Sombra’s voice rolled like a slow, rolling wave of summertime water through the room. It was strangely comforting and fatherly. “If they truly love you, they will listen and see to thy unhappiness as they would their own. Especially after all this.” Slowly, the stallions came to their hooves. They looked at each other rather guiltily. King Sombra was right. They began to trickle out of the room like so much water.
“Shh-ombra…” Celestia said softly, impressed and lisping on the bit in her mouth
“King Sombra.” He corrected gruffily. “I shalt return in three days, Princess. Our summit is still coming up.”
“Yes-sh, of course.” Celestia leaned while Shining Armor began to untied her and get the bit out. “Oh, thank you. I sounded silly with that thing on.” Her stallion began to work off the cuffs and bridle while she spoke, smiling quietly. He was still pretty upset about the black eye he’d been made to give her.
“I don’t know what game thou art playing with that.” Somba said with a scowl, gesturing to her chains and black eye. “But it stops now. Thou art no more cowed than if I assaulted thee with a feather duster.” He was not buying Celestia’s ‘I’ve been taken prisoner’ bit. He wasn’t stupid. Bringing an alicorn to her knees took far more violence than a hoof to the eye and a few bedroom toys to bind her with.
“Forgive me.” Celestia amended a little bit guiltily. “I could not bring myself to harm my little ponies. My only choice was trickery, after this violent misunderstanding.” She gestured to the damage out in the streets.
King Sombra grumbled. “Ever the elusive chess master, Celestia. A cruel streak immeasurable.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “I shalt return. Be ready.” He swept from the throne room, walking among the discarded protest signs and pitchforks. But then, he stopped on the threshold of the huge double doors. “By the by,” He smirked with all his fangs, looking over his shoulder at her. “Thy protégé’s herd is courting me. She is lovely.” he winked in a rather male way.
Shining Armor’s jaw dropped. Celestia gaped at him, eyebrows launching into her mane. “What?” King Sombra threw his head back into a diabolical laugh, then swept from the room.
Trumpeters announced the arrival of royalty. The ancient, domed hall was the host of a small square table. There were boxes high above stuffed with ponies of all sorts, leaning to see. Three sets of double doors opened at the same time.
From behind the first set of doors came Princess Celestia. Heralded by applause, twinkling lights, and a shimmer on her crown she came forth regally. The Princess of the sun seated herself at the nearest sitting pillow to her door. She didn’t look up at the crowd, merely had her usual pleasant smile. She seemed tranquil, upright, and confident as she always was. (Her black eye had faded nicely.)
From behind the second set of doors came Princess Luna. She was all frowns, walking with her muzzle tilted upward and a snap in her step. Going to the sitting pillow nearest to herself, she sat at the table with her sister. She glanced about, making sure there were guards were there should be. The last thing she wanted to be was captured again. It had taken ages to get her mane out of all those gaudy yellow bows and ribbons.
The third set of doors swung open and King Sombra emerged. A neutral frown was on his face as he approached, bowed, and passed copies of the petition to both royal sisters. Her straightened his cape out and slowly seated himself on his own sitting pillow.
As one, the three royals reached and lifted their crowns from their heads. The ancient protocol bade that they speak as equals, with no rank to give them any advantage at the table. It was purely ceremonial, but not even Celestia dared to ignore this tradition. Sombra set his crown down, leaving his hoof up. Celestia followed. Then Luna did the same. One by one, they lowered their hooves to the table. The summit had begun.
“I come on behalf of those signed on this petition.” said Sombra formally, respecting the protocol he’d learned recently in Twilight’s library.
“We the crowns of Equestria honor the laws of our nation, and have counted your twenty-five thousand signatures.” Celestia gave a bow, nodding once.
“And as stated in our laws we have appeared at this summit to discuss its contents.” Luna sounded like she was reading from a script. The formalities finally out of the way, they could speak normally.
The ponies in the audience boxes high above murmured to each other. These three ponies had not been in the same room together in a very long time. Whatever came of this meeting was sure to be historic. They were careful to be as quiet as they could to hear snatches of the conversation below. The summit was an open-door legal event, but it was also steeped in the fires of ceremony. Even before Equestria was made, when the three pony tribes met, such rules had been set down to assure everypony had their say.
“What say you, Sombra? Dost thou think to overturn the entire modern culture of Equestria for the Stallions on Strike?” Luna said, steepling her hooves under her chin in a frowny, business-like way. “Or perhaps demand that a male royal ascend to the throne for gender equality? Thyself, perhaps?” She was quick and savage out of the starting gate. Luna’s was a silver tongue when it came to straight politics, but it always made Celestia wince at her sister’s bluntness. The dark mare knew what was going on, she wasn’t about to beat around the bush. Best to get right to it.
“Both of us have tried take-overs and emerged from darkness better ponies, Luna. Don’t bait me. Our excuses and weaknesses are exactly the same in that regard.” Sombra parried her words away with a snort, reaching for the tea set in the center of the table. “I’m here as a representative, thou would do well to remember it is not for myself that I sit at this summit.” Luna frowned.
“I don’t doubt the stallion populace would delight in seeing a male ruler.” said Celestia, “But our histories don’t shine a very firm light on them. Discord, yourself, and even king Ebonfeather in the griffin nations…” she trailed off. Sombra shot her a glare, not expecting Celestia’s slashing words.
“Three over the course of thousands of years do not make a pattern, Celestia.” Sombra said. “Nor do two immortals in a stand-still diarchy with no successors. Equestria knows not any other rulers since you’ve never allowed any.” He said into his teacup, flicking a stabbing look at her.
The three of them stared at each other, neutral expressions on their faces. Though it wasn’t strictly protocol, it was an ‘off the books’ sort of tradition to trade barbs and measure each other’s strength at the table before the arguments of the summit might begin. “Touche.” Celestia admitted with a measure of patience.
“Thou know as well as I that this petition is rubbish.” Sombra admitted, going down the five items that had made it into the final copy. “Most if not all of these could not make it into law, by virtue of favoring one gender or the other. The rest rely on un-measureable things that cannot be defined in words or actions.” Luna’s sure-footing slipped, for her face looked shocked. She’d not expected that. “However, that does not mean some changes are not due.” He held up a hoof. “I’ve a few items to put forward that we may negotiate on, then perhaps everypony will emerge happy.”
The royal sisters looked at each other, then leaned in a bit closer. “We art listening.” Luna said.
“Go on.” said Celestia slowly.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
The thousands of Stallions on Strike had not gone home as bidden, but had been occupying Canterlot. Every diner stool, every platform bench, every picnic table and sitting space was taken up by an anxious protester. All of them were waiting nervously for the results of the summit taking place in the palace. At first the Royal Guard (or what was left of them, with so many deserters) had thought to arrest everypony they could get their hooves on, but— really none of them were doing anything illegal. The burst of violence that had happened when they’d arrived had ended just as quickly, and by the time the police and other forces had mustered the chaos was over. Now stallions could be seen sweeping up glass, expertly replacing windows, passing out foodstuffs and generally keeping the peace. For a protest group this size, it was extraordinary.
Applejack suddenly spotted her brother in the crowd. “There he is!” she pointed. “Big Mac! Big Maaac!” she shouldered her way through the crowd, Applebloom on her back, trying to get to her big red sibling.
Big Mac turned at the sound of his name. He smiled a bit when the rest of the group approached. “Yup?” he asked, cocking his ears up.
“We’ve been so worried ‘bout you!” Applejack said, kneeling briefly to let Applebloom down. “We didn’t know where y’all were, or who you were with, or when you were comin’ home, you just took off!” Big Mac could see she was about to launch into a rant, and scowled at her. Twilight coughed, elbowing Applejack a bit. “Ah just mean… Ah just mean…” Applejack wilted, regretting the harsh conversation-opener. She wilted her ears and sagged a bit. “Ah miss you, Big Mac, Ah’m… Ah’m ready to negotiate now, so you don’t gotta protest no more.” She looked up into his gaze with soft eyes. “The Apple family just ain’t the same without a stallion or two around to keep the mares in line, y’know?” she smiled bashfully. Big Mac blinked a couple of times. Really? Applejack was finally ready to listen? Turning a bit, he flipped open his saddlebag with his nose and fished inside for his original series of signs. First, he produced ‘too much hard work!’ from the stack. “Ah’m sorry big brother, we can maybe hire a hoof or two to take some’a the burden off’a you.” Dropping the first sign, Big Mac silently showed her ‘more off time!’ Applejack sighed a little, this was harder than she’d thought. “Ah know you prolly didn’t think you had much’a’life other than the farm. Ah get it naow.” She said, taking off her hat in a humble way. Applebloom nuzzled up against one of Big Mac’s massive legs, giving him soft eyes. Big Mac showed them the ‘mares should work hard too!’ sign. “Ah get it, ah get it, ah do.” She gently pushed the sign from his hoof, and threw her arms around his neck. “Ahm so sorry, Bic Mac.” She said, stetson falling to the ground next to them. “Ah was taken advantage uh you without even thinkin’ about what you might’uh wanted outta life.” She said, brow furrowing into a bunch in the middle of her forehead. “Forgive yer stubborn sister?” Applejack whispered into his ear. “Ah’ll make it right, ah promise.”
The red stallion’s expression softened, and one of his massive hooves came up and around his sister’s neck. Maybe things would be better now, he thought. “Yup.” He mumbled, leaning down to hug Applebloom too, who squealed happily in his warm embrace. The Cake herd, Bon-Bon and Lyra, Derpy and Dinky, Twilight and Spike, along with Prince Blueblood and Fancypants smiled. Another victory not only for the S.o.S., but for decent families everywhere.
“Big Mac! Big Mac! We’re gonna go occupy the café on the corner! Wanna come with?” A random gaggle of stallions had appeared, and Applejack quickly put a stetson over Applebloom’s face as Derpy put her hoof over Dinky’s eyes. Bare hooves, after all. “The Royal Sisters and Sombra are still at the summit, we can’t budge an inch until this is all over with!”
“Nope.” Big Mac said gently, shaking his head.
The group stopped, tilting their heads. “No? How come? You started all this, you’ve gotta come show your support too!” they gestured a bit, towards the shop on the corner. It was already filling up with rabbling stallions, though they were ordering milkshakes and the like so there was no harm done if they sat there all day. “C’mon Big Mac!” they begged him.
“Nope.” Said the red stallion again, smiling a bit. “Ahm goin’ home.” He spoke a rare sentence, which startled a few of the ponies present. He hugged Applebloom as he spoke, then put her on his back.
“What?! Home?!” The bachelor herd gaped at him. “Why?! This is our moment of victory!” they gestured to the stallions milling about everywhere. Twenty-five thousand ponies made even a grand city like Canterlot swell to the bursting.
“Ah got whut ah wanted.” Big Mac said firmly. Applebloom hugged him around the neck from where she was on his back, smiling happily. She’d missed her big brother so, so much. Shrugging a bit, he was away towards the train station.
“Big Mac? Don’t you wanna see what happens after the summit?” Twilight asked.
“Nope.” He said over his shoulder.
“You started a cultural revolution! Shouldn’t you see how it’ll play out?”
“Nope.” The red stallion repeated. He smiled lovingly at his little sister Applebloom and nuzzled her. Applejack walked side-by-side with him, smiling and a little misty-eyed. He didn’t have to fight and cause a ruckus no more. His family was ready to listen to him, and make changes so he could be happier. That’s all he’d ever wanted.
“Well, we cain’t quite go home yet is the thing, Big Mac.” Applejack said as they were away from the dumbfounded group of protestors. “Princess Celestia asked me to come get’cha, and bring you to the palace.” Big Mac frowned thoughtfully, then nodded. Mare or not, the Princess was the Princess. His sister led him across town, Applebloom on his back and the other familiar ponies in tow. “And dun worry, nothin’ bad is gonna happen. I’m sure by the time the summit is over, ever’thing’ll settle down and we’ll be home before you know it.”
Stallions on Strike! Part 14: The Petition Answered
The summit was over. All three royals were smiling. The audience boxes were empty. Word spread quickly that on the morn, the results of the meeting would be announced to Canterlot. This, of course, meant that every hotel was full, every bench was occupied, and plenty of all-nighter parties were going on.
Big Macintosh, however, was led into the royal palace. Applejack and the others travelled as a group, right through the front gates. “Oh hey, there he is. Hullo, Big Mac!” A pair of guards stopped their patrol to wave. “Lemme get that for you.” said one of them, magicking open the portcullis and bowing a bit.
Applejack smirked when she caught her brother blushing. “Yeah, you’re a big shot now, eh?” she teased a little. He gave her a look, but she patted him apologetically. “Everypony knows your face, Big Mac, whether you wanna just go home’r’not.” The farming mare turned at a corner as they weaved their way through the ornate castle. Big Mac felt guilty for having dirty hooves, trodding on exquisite carpets and polished marble floors with his big clumsy hooves. He was used to the earthy ground on the farm. This was all so grand, he felt out of place. A pauper in a palace.
“Don’t worry Big Macintosh.” Twilight said helpfully while Spike rode on her back. “I’m sure Princess Celestia just wants to congratulate you on your victory. I mean, you are the face of the Stallions on Strike, since you started all this.” She smiled at him broadly. “I’m sure she just wants to have words with you.” Very suddenly, Big Mac had a sinking feeling. He was the symbolic start of the S.o.S. Suppose the Princess threw him in jail? Tortured him? Made an example out of him to show that the mares were in charge?! The stallion’s eyes got big and jolted to a halt, horrified.
“Nope!” he turned to run, barreling through the ponies that were following him. He got past the Cake herd, Twilight and Spike, knocked over Blueblood and then bashed face-first into Fancy Pants. The stallion yelped a little, but dug his hooves in and stopped him. “Nope! Nope!” he tried to shoulder his way through, but the unicorn held him firmly with magic.
“You can’t turn back now!” Fancy Pants said as bravely as he could. Big Mac stopped, looking him in the face. The faded black eye spoke volumes. Big Mac remembered what sort of home life Fancy had been rescued from. He stopped resisting, and they stared at each other for a time. “If not for you, Sir Big Mac, I would still be at home… like this.” Fancy murmured softly, looking at his hooves and touching his eye. “I would’ve never had the courage to speak up without your example.” He put a hoof on Big Mac’s shoulder. “So please, don’t turn back now.”
“You’ll be fine, Big Mac, promise!” Mr. Cake said, both his mares hanging onto him.
“Yeah! Thanks to you all our lives are better!” Spike said from Twilight’s back.
“Certainly a good show, chap!” Blueblood said, nodding in affirmation.
“Y’all never know, she might want to reward ya for bringin’ all this to the forefront!” Applejack said encouragingly. Big Mac smiled bashfully. “Now c’mon, we cain’t keep ‘er waitin’.”
“Nope.” Big Mac said in a small voice, nodding and returning to the front of the group with his sister. They trekked through the palace, one hall after another, until they finally came to the throne room. It was night, so it was Luna who sat on the throne. But, to her left and right was Celestia and Cadance.
“Ah, the Big Macintosh that all the stories speak of.” Luna was the first to speak, being the one in charge after sunset. Her voice seemed to echo a bit in the large room. “Welcome to the palace.” The dark alicorn looked to the herd. “Thank you for fetching him. You may leave us for his private audience.” The large group turned, giving the stallion their most assuring smiles. Big Mac smiled nervously, gulping. The swing of the great double doors slammed hollowly when they were gone. He turned about in time to see all three alicorns rise and make their way down the dais to stand before him. The farming pony wilted a little, intimidated. Were they going to smite him on the spot? Suddenly coming here and then being left alone seemed like a bad, bad idea. “We’ve heard a good deal about you, Big Macintosh Apple. Through the newspaper, through word of mouth, and through the cries of thousands of protesters.” Luna said, sitting on her haunches when she was near enough. “I shalt not speak with thee from on high,” she gestured to the throne behind her. “But I bid thee to look upon the scorch mark therein.” Big Mac leaned, seeing the burnt wood on the seat of the throne. Somepony had thrown bottled alchemist fire onto it, it seemed.
“I’ve been told that you quit your job out of the blue,” Celestia said softly, affixing him with her immortal gaze. Big Mac suddenly felt much smaller. “That you made signs to harass your family and fellow Ponyvillians, to draw attention,” she gestured and his saddlebag sprang open. The array of signs floated out, their red lettering all the brighter in the well-lit room. All three alicorns eyed them for a time. “And that you set about recruiting other stallions you thought were being treated unfairly.”
“Er… yup.” said Big Mac, looking back and forth between them nervously.
“I’ve seen your picture in the paper, and even graffiti in your likeness here in Canterlot.” Cadance said with some concern. “You really started something, Big Macintosh. There are thousands of ponies in the city waiting to hear what is going to happen next, all because of you.” She pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “All the rioting, the fighting, the horseshoe burning and breaking herds— all because of you.” She sighed a little. She hated to speak of such mass misery.
“…yup.” said Big Mac in a small voice. Having three goddesses stare him down made him feel plumb tiny, to tell the truth. He had a little male pride about his size, but their combined stares made him feel like the runtiest foal in the herd.
“I’m so sorry.” Celestia said, out of nowhere. Big Mac blanched. All three alicorns neared and then came to their bellies before him so they would be the same height. “I’m so, so sorry my little pony.” The milky goddess said, from her heart.
“Uh…?” Big Mac was confused.
“When we read the newspaper articles, saw the signs of unrest, and even the violence erupting around Ponyville, we did nothing.” Celestia confessed. “We three were the full spectrum. One wanted to help, one wanted to do nothing, and the third was against the idea of the Stallions on Strike.” She hunched a little, ashamed. “So, we thought the problem would work itself out and we would not have to lift a hoof for or against your cause. But the shouting stallions that gathered around you did not exhaust themselves, or quiet. They grew louder and more numerous.” She looked at him with an apologetic expression. “We three ignored your suffering and did nothing to aid you. We didn’t look beyond our own herd, our own doorstep, to see what was really happening.”
“It was not merely a few squawking stallions.” Luna admitted, looking away with a grouchy expression. “But many, many squawking stallions whom, at the end of the day… perhaps had a point.” She was frowning deeply, as though she were forcing herself to say the words. But, hers were the old ways and even doing this was radical to her. She was trying her best, despite everything that had happened. “When such a petition arrived into our royal hooves, I scoffed at it.” She told him to his face. She didn’t look sorry, merely truthful.
“We’re sorry, Big Macintosh.” Cadance put in before Luna dug herself into a hole. “We’re the Princesses. It’s our job to help ponies that ask for it, not to ignore them and hope things work out. What we did was wrong, and we’re sorry.” She said, wilting a little. Big Mac blinked at the three goddesses, unsure of what to make of the situation.
Celestia spoke again, “We’re so used to the way things are, you’ve no idea, that when the status quo was questioned by enough voices it erupted into violence and mayhem.” She gestured to him gently. “While you did not encourage the violence and rioting, you really drew the eyes of everypony to your cause.” Leaning and lifting her wing, Celestia produced a copy of the S.o.S.’s petition. His ears perked. It had marks all over it, like a teacher had been writing in corrections ona homework assignment. “So it is only fair that you hear what is going to happen before anypony else.” She smiled in a motherly way. Big Mac smiled, nodding eagerly. This wasn’t going so bad after all! She coughed a moment, lifting the paper to read from it. “Firstly, you are going to prison for attempting to usurp the mare establishment.” The white alicorn smiled daintily. “Forever.”
Big Mac’s mouth fell open.
Some sort of explosion took place in the far distance, somewhere in Canterlot.
“Tia!” Cadance snapped, elbowing her in the side. Celestia giggled aloud, holding her face helplessly. “This is serious! Don’t do that!” the pink Princess was hot in the face, annoyed that Celestia would pick NOW for one of her pranks.
“T’ehehehe! Forgive me!” Celestia giggled behind her hoof for a time. Big Mac laughed slowly, and a little nervously. Oh good, it was just a joke. Whew… heart attack notwithstanding. He cleared his throat a little so she would go on. “I could not help it, sorry!” she coughed again, trying to ward off Luna and Cadance’s glares. “Truth be told, my little pony, your petition has been discussed and we’ve reached some conclusions.” Big Mac cocked his head, perking his ears. This was it! This was it!
“Item one is about equal pay.” Luna said in a business-like way. “This can easily be signed into law on the morrow. Everypony should be paid the same amount of the same work.” Big Mac beamed at her words. “Your petition words it poorly, so we have replaced the word ‘stallion’ with ‘pony’. That way, it is a gender neutral law.” She nodded to make it official.
“The second item is about equal employment opportunities.” Celestia was finally serious, holding the paper under her nose. “It is not within our power to demand that stallions and mares be hired for something or not hired for something. To hire somepony because they are male is just as bad as not hiring somepony because they are male.” Big Mac wilted at this. “But, it can easily be made a law that gender and identity cannot play a role in selecting candidates. So, for important positions like doctors and teachers, perhaps ponies will strike names from resumes when they’re being examined.” The red stallion perked as she spoke. “If you saw letters A, B, C and D instead of four names, you would obviously hire the pony that had the best qualifications, yes?” she said. Big Mac nodded his understanding. “While criminal backgrounds and such would still be examined, the identity of the pony his or herself should not be a factor, we agree.” She smiled. The red stallion bobbed his head. That made sense. Blind resume examination would be a big step up!
“Your third item brought us some concern.” Cadance said softly, holding her copy of the petition under her nose. “You want to be able to divorce your alpha mares and be able to replace them with another mare from your herd if she is performing poorly.” Big Mac nodded vigorously. There were plenty of broken or mismanaged herds that could use this new law! “We cannot do this, Big Mac.” She apologized. “This gives the stallions complete power over their herds. If they wanted to, they could abuse this law so thoroughly that every mare would be afraid to join a herd, alpha or not!” she paused for a moment to let this sink in. “However, we do understand the right to divorce. Therefore, to meet you partway, we’ll say that if a stallion divorces his alpha mare, that his herd does not need to shatter.”
“Nope?” Big Mac said, hope in his face.
“Yes.” Luna said. “If one mare is doing so poorly that the stallion wishes to leave the herd, this punishes all the other mares. Therefore, we shall allow retainment of thy herd upon divorcing the alpha mare… given that the other mares wish to stay, of course. Ejecting one pony from a herd should not punish everypony involved.”
“Whut about a new alpha mare?” Big Mac wanted to know. There was am audible rumble outside, which made him cock his head for a moment. Celestia’s eyes slid towards one of the windows for a moment, but she said nothing.
“A new one could be elected, sought, or found by other means. But not by the stallion alone.” Luna said seriously. “A herd is a team. A family. We must remember that, especially now. While the right to divorce is nothing new, the power to restructure a herd will remain in the hooves of everypony involved, not just the stallion.”
“Hrm.” Big Mac said, not sure he approved.
“If thou wanted equality, here it is. We shan’t raise stallions on a pedestal above the mares.” Luna said. “Merely up to the same level. That is what equality is, no?” she asked. He nodded a bit. That did make more sense. He wasn’t in a herd himself, but putting all the power in one pony’s hooves or another wasn’t fair to anypony else. “Then it will be so.” She nodded her assent. He smiled.
“Your forth item was…” Celestia paused to read it again, word for word, before speaking. “The nullification of the ‘From the Horse’s Mouth’ law. In which an abuse victim may be heralded by a champion instead of his own words, to the proper authorities.”
“Yup.” Big Mac was very big on that one. After having seen what had happened to Fancy Pants, this was a very, very important part of the petition. He prayed the princesses had not shot it down.
“We found that, while this is very much open to abuse, that we are going to allow it.” Celestia said seriously. Big Mac’s chest inflated for a cheer, but she stopped him. “But only because of one thing. See this here?” she gestured to the paper. “The words at the end. ‘As long as no malicious intent is present.’”
“Yup?” Big Mac asked.
“It would be all too easy for a stallion to cry wolf, or abuse, or rape.” Luna said, turning her muzzle up in a snooty way. There was an awkward pause. “But… but far be it from me to allow even one abusive, husband-beating mare in Equestria.” She mumbled softly. There was a fell wind outside, like Canterlot was moaning before a storm. Celestia’s eyes narrowed, but she said nothing as Luna went on. “I covet my own husband very much, like my night sky.” She looked at the floor, embarrassed at saying something so private. “If not for Cadance, I do not think I would have a herd with a stallion in it.” Cadance smiled bashfully. “And I would slog through a mountain of paperwork, many court cases, and all other leaping through fiery rings if it meant catching even one mare that would do a stallion like he wrong.” Her blush deepened a bit. “And for that, we will strike down the law you wish to see erased.” There was a long, heartfelt silence. Big Mac gave a couple of little nods. Luna looked anywhere but him, but did not go anywhere. She’d meant every word. If a stallion were in a hopeless situation and needed a whistle-blower to step in for him, asked to or not, then so be it.
“The last item,” Celestia finally went on when enough time had passed. “Was about foal-rearing.” She cleared her throat a little. “It raises some fine points. It is not merely a stallion’s job to raise the little ones.” She said with some authority. “But, there’s no way to measure foalcare in such a way that it could be divided up evenly.” The white goddess said gently. “Would you count meals? Nights out? Baths given? I think not.” She chuckled good-naturedly. “I think this is something that each herd will have to figure out for themselves.” Big Mac nodded. He didn’t have any foals himself, but he imagined there would be quite a few heart to heart talks happening soon in the topic of foal-raising. “We can encourage herd counseling, perhaps, and the herds that truly wish to better themselves could go and seek aid. I, nor my fellow Princesses, feel that we should have a hoof in how everypony’s foals are raised.”
“Eyuup.” Big Mac agreed.
“We apologize again that it had to come to this, Big Macintosh. A royal petition, a social upheaval, all this chaos…” Celestia gestured gently to a window. “But, it’s all over now. I promise you.”
“Yeah?” Big Mac said, eyes hopeful.
“Yes.” Sombra said from shadow, startling Big Mac and making him whip around. “For you see, this entire conversation has been heard all over Canterlot.” He smiled, magic still glowing from his horn. The black stallion had been broadcasting the entire conversation like a one-way radio! All the roars and strange winds that had happened during the conversation? Crowds of ponies outside listening! How had Sombra stayed hidden, channeling a spell like that, for so long?! “They can still hear us now, Big Macintosh. Is there anything you’d like to say to all of Canterlot, to all of Equestria?” he smiled regally as Celestia smirked at him. “Perhaps to the S.o.S.?”
“…Nnnope.” Big Mac said shyly, turning redder and redder. Canterlot roared with laughter. Luna's mouth was hanging open, and her face was SCARLET. She'd just said all those things about Shining Armor and the whole city had heard! Celestia's smile grew. Cruel wretch, thought Sombra.
Golden Oaks library was closed that particular day, and its two residents had big days ahead of them. “Spiiiike! C’mon you’re gonna be late for school!” Twilight stomped up the stairs and was just coming to the bedroom door when Spike burst from it. Rucksack on his back and pencil in his ear, he smiled up at his mistress. “There you are. All set?”
“Yep! Miss Cheerilee is supposed to give us a spelling test today, I just had to make sure I had everything right!” he held up a page of scribbles. He’d been writing the same ten words over and over as practice, so he’d get them right for the big test that day.
“I know you’ll do really well. You’re a smart dragon.” Twilight said lovingly. Igniting the magic in her horn, she grabbed his sack lunch from the fridge and teleported it from the kitchen to the floor between them. “Okay, remember, don’t just throw the whole thing away and eat the gem, okay? That’s your dessert!”
“You say that every day.” Spike rolled his eyes with a smile. They went to the front door as he checked his backpack that he had all his school books. He smoothed his head spikes a little, grinning up at the purple mare. Twilight kissed the top of his head, seeing him off. “Bye Twilight!” he rushed off and down the street towards the school house. Twilight waved, smiling as he went. He was so smart, she was so proud of him. Sure, it had been some adjustment to have him gone most of the day, five days a week, but he was happy. And that made Twilight happy, in the end. When the purple dragon had passed the corner and was out of sight, she checked the clock over her shoulder.
“Oh jeez, I’m gonna be late too!” Twilight eeped. Going and grabbing her saddlebags, she slung them onto herself. Rushing down the street, she made for the Ponyville courthouse. Galloping frantically, she made it to the steps just as the clock tower struck nine-thirty. “Whew! Made it!”
The other members of Twilight’s herd were waiting in the lobby. Fluttershy was a little hunched, looking back and forth nervously. Applejack was tapping a hoof impatiently. Rainbow Dash was gliding in slow, tense circles near the ceiling. Only Rarity seemed poised and ready for the new day (as any lady should be!). When they saw her come in, they smiled and lined up. “Heya Twi!” Applejack said enthusiastically. “We’re all set. You all set?” she asked eagerly. Twilight checked all of her friends faces. The herd waited for the alpha mare’s lead. The purple pony nodded, smiling wide.
“Let’s do it.” Turning, the group of five mares came into the courtroom. A judge sat behind the raised seat, smiling at them. “Judge Ban Hammer, good morning!” Twilight said brightly.
“Good morning, my little ponies!” the middle-aged mare said, smiling. “Today’s the big day, huhm? Have you got all your paperwork and such ready?” she leaned when Rainbow Dash hovered up to her, presenting the thick stack of registration papers. “Mkay… mkay…” she flipped through each page slowly, checking all the dates and signatures. “This appears to be in order, yes. You’re sure this is how you want to do this? I’m sure the Elements of Harmony could throw a heck of a wedding if they tried!” she said with a smile.
“I ain’t wearin’ no wedding dress.” Rainbow Dash snorted. Fluttershy blushed, mumbling. Applejack shrugged, she didn’t care much for frou-frou weddings either. Rarity seemed sad, but this wasn’t just about her, it was for her herd.
“We’re sure.” Twilight said with a giggle. “Is Sombra…?” she said softly, looking around.
“He’s in my chambers, yes, one moment.” Judge Ban Hammer turned, getting off her high seat. She opened the door to fetch the stallion.
Sombra came out into the courtroom, looking rather bashful. The five mares smiled, each in her own way, as he joined them. He’d brushed himself to a sheen, had had his mane trimmed, and shined all of his regalia bits. Even his crown shone nicely under the courtroom skylight. “Er, here I am.” He said in his deep, syrupy voice. They nodded, making a space so they could all stand before the judge properly.
“Well then, here we are.” Judge Ban Hammer leaned and checked the paperwork one more time. “Sombra’s signatures are… yes, all accounted for. You all want to be in a registered herd together, with Twilight Sparkle as the alpha mare and Sombra as the herd’s stallion?” she made it perfectly clear so there would be no mess-ups. There was nodding, broad smiles from all of them. “Very well then!” the judge stood, “I love getting to do this, pardon me.” She giggled a bit, looking much younger in the face for a moment. She smoothed her judge’s robes so she would look nice standing up. “Ahem! By the power invested in me by the diarchy of Equestria and all of my office’s legal powers, I now pronounce you stallion—!” she gestured to Sombra. “And herd.” She made a sweeping motion at all the rest. “You may kiss your stallion.” The Judge said, smiling grandly. Sombra was suddenly smooshed between five happy mares, and they all crashed to the floor with a cry when each of the five tried to get the first kiss. “Hah!” the judge laughed. “That never gets old!” She shook her head at the moaning pile of hooves and confused bodies.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
Meanwhile at Sugarcube Corner, Mr. Cake lay on his side, sore and happy in an achy way. The bedroom was hot, and smelled guiltily of sex. He shuffled a little, but didn’t have the strength to move much. Mrs. Cake was on one side of him, and Pinkie Pie was buried somewhere under the covers. None of them had moved in the past few minutes, and all that could be heard was the audible panting of intimate satiation from all of them. They’d pressed together for warmth. Yeah, it was the middle of the day, but sometimes the Cake herd just had to take a day off for bonding. They were a team, a model family, a— Pinkie popped out from under the covers, wiping her mouth with the back of her foreleg. She giggled animatedly, nuzzling up into Carrot’s waiting embrace. Draping an arm around her, he gave a tired sigh while she cuddled up next to him. “Carrot, honey?” Mrs. Cake whispered, looking at him lovingly.
“Huhm?” Mr. Cake mumbled, slitting an exhausted eye open to look at his wife.
“Pinkie and I have been talking and… well… we were wondering about the bed.” She said, gesturing a little.
“What about it?” Carrot murmured, smiling sleepily.
Pinkie smiled a little bashfully, tucking her ears back in a coy way. “That maybe if we got a bigger one, we could share every night instead of me being upstairs alone?” she looked at him sideways, expecting rejection. It was very unusual for a mare other than the alpha mare of the herd to share a bed with the herd stallion on a regular basis.
“Oh is that all?” Carrot purred, limp and warm all over. He turned to one side to hug Pinkie to himself. Mrs. Cake spooned behind him, stroking his belly. “Sure, we can put in for a bigger one,” he said softly. He didn’t see their herd getting a third mare anytime soon, so it wasn’t a bad idea really. “If you promise to not have any sugar past a certain hour.” He added quickly, making both mares giggle a little. The three of them embraced, determined to rest, relax, and not rise until they wanted. Even Sugarcube Corner had its off days.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
Outside, a visibly-pregnant Derpy Hooves leaned, delivering another hoof-full of letters into a mailbox. One of her husbands, hitched to a cart, passed her a set of three royal packages. “Here y’go, honey!” he said happily. The home that went with the mailbox had three ponies inside, so they got three royal packages. Princess Celestia had had hundreds of thousands of them sent out. “Don’t strain too much, remember the foal!” her husband piped when she straightened with a huff of effort.
“I’ll be okay, the foal’s not coming for another couple of months.” She smiled kindly. “But thanks for your help, I don’t think I could deliver mail and those packages at the same time.” Opening her wings to stretch them, she started towards the next house on the street. Checking her mailbag, she pawed through letters thoughtfully to make sure she got the right ones. Closing one of her wall-eyes so she could get a good depth-perception into her bag, she finally fished out the ones she needed and got them into the mailbox. “There we go!” she got another couple of royal packages for that house from her eager hubby, and closed it again.
“Hey, there goes Derpy.” A mare across the street whispered. “Is it true? She’s got five stallions all to herself?” she gossiped behind a hoof. “Isn’t that, y’know, greedy?” she said with a disapproving frown.
“Eh, we gotta get with the times, I think.” The other mare shrugged. “With all this newfangled social change and herd restructuring goin’ on, it’s not surprising to see at least one reverse herd, y’know?” she gestured at the stallion pulling the cart behind the pregnant-bellied Pegasus. “Besides, she and her daughter were alone for so long I imagine she’s makin’ up for lost time—”
“If you know what I meannnn.” The first mare giggled scandalously behind her hoof, gesturing to Derpy’s foal-swollen belly. The gossiping mares giggled loudly at each other. “I can’t say I’d mind havin’ five stallions to myself, though…” she mumbled.
“Oh I know, right?” whispered the second mare jealously. They both snickered as the happy mail Pegasus turned the corner.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
Princess Celestia suffered greatly in the public eye because of her poorly-timed ‘mare establishment’ joke. Being broadcast to all of Canterlot during a historical moment in history, during a charged social time had not ended well for her. As an apology to the masses, she created something great indeed to soothe the populous to her pure intentions. That something great was arriving in mailboxes all over Equestria that day.
It was the early morning, just after the sun had risen about the mountain of Canterlot and began to light the land. Dew was still on the grass, and the crisp morning air was refreshing to anypony out to enjoy it. Big Macintosh leaned his muzzle into the Sweet Apple Acres mailbox, getting the contents in his teeth. He sat in a soft patch of damp grass to inspect the stack of letters. Bill. Bill. Junk. Bill. Letter from Appleoosia… and a small set of envelope-packages? The royal seal on them was telling, and the return address was Canterlot. There was one for each member of his household, including himself. He picked up the one with his name on it, shaking it a little. No sound. Blinking with interest he held the tiny cardboard envelope between his front hooves and tore the side open with his teeth. A bit of sealed plastic with something metal inside fell out, along with a letter:
Dear Recipient, citizen of Equestria,
I hope this letter finds you well. I apologize once more for my rudeness one year ago today. The Stallions on Strike deserved more respect, and my moment of amusement was a tarnish on their victory for social change. Hopefully this will help to make up for it, and remind everypony what the S.o.S. fought so hard for. It is their victory as much as yours, that our society continues to live in peace, harmony, and with equal rights and privileges for everypony. Enjoy!
Signed, Princess Celestia
Big Mac picked up the sealed plastic and tore it open, emptying the contents onto his hoof. It was a red coin, as red as his fur. It was slightly larger than a bit, and just a little bit thicker. On one side was the skyline of Canterlot, the capital of Equestria. Five bits, it said. A coin worth five bits? The stallion cocked his head. As far back as anypony could remember, bits had been the only currency in Equestria. Princess Celestia had made a new coin? He smiled with interest, flipping it over. On the other side was… his face?! The stallion gave a start, his sprig of straw falling from his mouth. A profile of the stoic-faced farmer was centered nicely in between a set of laurels, smiling gently. Around the rim the coin read ‘justice and equality for everypony— stallions and mares alike’. “Aw jeez…” he mumbled, looking over at the other packages. Everypony in his household was gonna get a coin like this… his eyes slowly widened. He checked the letter. 'Dear recipient, citizen of Equestria', it said. It wasn’t personally addressed. But, that more than likely meant—! His pupils shrank and he blushed, turning his head slowly towards Ponyville.If this didn't cause a ruckus, he didn't know what would.
