You march right up to the three mares, who’ve all stopped arguing, and are all staring at you as you approach. You grin, and swoop in, grabbing all three in a BIG GROUP HUG (while purposefully just barely grazing Rainbow Dash’s hooves)
*GASP* You suddenly are smacked in the face by by Rainbow Dash’s *pomf’d* wing, and you look down and slowly… smile even more, while looking down at the two conscious ponies, and…. Rainbow Dash. Suddenly… you get an idea.
You can’t help yourself as you grin a grinchy grin… as you get an idea. A terrible, horrible... truly AWFUL idea...You suddenly light-heardedly blurt out, “So! I wanted to say I’m sorry, I got a bit frustrated back there, and I kinda lost my head. But, I feel better now, and I’d hate to cause a rift between such 'gooood friends'!!” You’ve decided. It’s time for these women to taste the bitter coldness and power of… THE FRIEND ZONE.
Both Roseluck and Applejack’s smiles twitch when you mention the deadliest word to all those who are single…. the dreadful word… “friend”.
Applejack shakes it off, and is the first to recover, and hugs you right back… With a vengeance! *pop-pop-POP-POP* *Gasp*. You suddenly feel like you’ve had your back, and lungs crushed simultaneously. How in the WORLD is Applejack that STRONG? She smiles at you, and says, “Yup! It sure is nice having a stallion round here!”
Applejack releases the hug, and Roseluck and you stumble, both recovering your balance at the same time. Rainbow Dash however... flops to the ground. You notice that she’s only just starting to recover, as her eye twitching seems to be slowing down.
“So… *friend*” Roseluck says, spitting that word out distastefully, “What now? I mean, you’re safe at the Apple Family Farm, and you’re just going to… what exactly? Hide here as a human forever? Lead an uprising against ‘them’?” Roseluck shakes her head. “I mean, I don’t get it. What’s your plan?” Applejack turns to face you and nods in agreement. “Yeah! I wanna know what yer plan is! We can’t hide a human for long…”
Rainbow Dash suddenly *SNAPS* awake. She puts her hoof around your neck and cockily says, “Duh! It’s SO obvious! He’s gonna spend his time with me! Who else can outfly anyone else in Equestria!”
You glare at Rainbow, and distastefully remove her hoof from your shoulder. “Uh… no. I don’t intend on being some boy toy, and… well honestly I haven’t had enough time to exactly think.”
Applejack smiles, and suddenly edges in between you and Rainbow Dash. “Hey, as such a *good friend* to the Apple Family, ah’ll provide all the… ‘protection’ you could want….”
Roseluck snickers. “Applejack, this stallion doesn’t want your dusty field, I’m sure he’d love to come back and plow my garden for me…”
As your jaw drops Rainbow Dash nudges right next to you again, and gives you one of the best seductive looks you’ve ever seen. “Hey, I’m sure if you hang out with me, there’ll be some serious… ‘turbulence’...”
Just as your brain is fully shut down, you hear a set of piano scales, and spot a mare in a bowler hat playing a piano… in an open field?
The three mares look at each other and grin, and suddenly are spotlighted (in the middle of the day no less), and are joined by a choir of birds, ducks, and one very enthusiastic mare pianist…
“Hey fella! The time is right! Get ready! Tonight’s the night! Colt what you’re dreaming of will come true…”
Roseluck half whispers in your ear, “Let me be good to you…”
Rainbow Dash takes the solo, and suddenly appears behind you, massaging your shoulders.
“You know what? We’ve been feeling alllll alone! For us mares, you’re the best of those colts and stallions, you’re tons of fun!”
Applejack suddenly shoves a mug of hard cider in your hand, and flicks your nose with her tail and she walks saucily away. “So relax, and drink your beer! Get coozy, your Apple’s here! Ah won’t be misunderstood, let me be good to you!"
Suddenly a brass section appears, and you’re surrounded by the three mares, all teasing you by brushing against you, and always looking at you aggressively.
“Hey tough guy! I’d let you ruuuuub me down…” Rainbow Dash sings, flying over you.
“Hey big guy, there’s nothing, I wouldn’t do… just for you!” Roseluck sings, playfully bumping her hip against yours.
Suddenly Applejack is back, and replacing your now empty mug (when did you drink that again? It’s all a bit fuzzy…) “Here you are big fella, it’s on the house.” You smile, and take a big drink. “I say… how very generous!”
Applejack snickers. “That’s Rarity you big galoot! But… ah can be generous too… when the time’s right!” She says, winking at you. You smile at Roseluck, and take a BIG drink. “Whoa… this has a rather nice bite to it!”
Suddenly you noticed Rainbow Dash and Roseluck nuzzling against you, “Hey-- hey! Very nice… ladiezzzz!” Applejack chuckles and playfully punches your arm, “Hey! Get ahold of yerself stallion! Ah thought yew didn’t like mares!”
(Ignore the rest of the Great Mouse Detective Scene I had linked. After 2:30 I don’t need the scene. Although, it’s a great movie, and it’s currently on Netflix Instant Streaming! Check it out!)
“I don’t know aboooout that!” You grin and slur out, before realizing what kind of situation you’re in.
“Uhh…… I… need an adult?” You half-heartedly joke. Suddenly, you feel something through the haze… *RED ALERT* *BAMF*
With her teleportation magic still settling around you, you can feel her hot breath against the nape of your neck. “I am an adult…” says your pursuer… THE Twilight Sparkle.