//------------------------------// // The Odd Exceptions // Story: Stallions on Strike! // by Aegis Shield //------------------------------// Stallions on Strike Part 4: The Odd Exceptions Town Hall was quite a scene, for many stallions had gathered outside it to see their town’s leader. Madam Mayor Mare stepped out onto the little porch where she’d been summoned by her secretary. The group of maybe thirty stallions spotted her and broke into angry, wild shouting as soon as she came out. “Oh jeez…” Mayor mumbled. They waved signs at her, stomped their big hooves and hopped back and forth like hungry dogs. “RABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE!” the crowd roared back and forth, flailing wildly. Mayor Mare had heard of this group of odd ponies of the past couple of days. The size of their organization had grown exponentially, and was still growing rapidly. In a mere week, they’d gone from nothing to over thirty, and the result was startling. She put up her hooves, going to the podium that had been set up for her. There was lots of shushing and jitter-stomping as the group quieted itself. Nervous and excitable stallions were always so hard to deal with. “As mayor of Ponyville, I greet you!” she said like she was meeting a group of aliens. She put up her hooves again before they started shouting. “I have been told that you are unhappy with your… situations, and I want you all to know we will do our best to help you! Now uh… what did you want, exactly?” she asked. “AUUUUGH!” Every stallion and one dragon rolled his eyes, throwing his arms up at the sky in frustration. She was aware of them, but didn’t know what they wanted?! “RAAAAAABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE!” The signs started coming out, waving wildly back and forth. Mayor Mare squinted as she read over the words. “Equal pay… more days off… foalsitters on Sundays… rights to leadership in government?” she cocked her head, but kept reading. “Down with the Mare?” she looked offended. “Hey now, I certainly do my best to run Ponyville!” Madam Mare gave a grumble, turning and trying to compose herself a bit better. “Don’t you stallions think most of these things are things you should be able to handle with your own herds?” “We’re tired of being second-class!” said one stallion in guard armor. “We’re tired of raising the foals and staying in the kitchen!” “And out in the fields!” said a stallion from the carrot family. “And pulling all the trains to Canterlot!” said an engineer stallion. “I wanna play music in a rock band! YEAHHH!” Snowflake produced a little flute, waving it like a weapon. Nopony dared tell him that flutes were not played in rock bands. “I wanna bake cakes!” Mr. Cake said, rearing a bit. “I’m always stuck cleaning and moving boxes!” “I wanna act!” said Spike from atop Big Mac’s back. “But I always have to do Twilight’s housework and most of the library’s chores!” “We want less taxes for our lower wages!” “We’re tired of being left to clean house and do all the hard work!” Madam Mare tilted her head, trying to take it all in. Where had this firestorm erupted from? “Now now, everypony! This is a lot of completely different problems!” she tried to maintain the nervous smile on her face. She wasn’t very good at dealing with big angry crowds. “Shouldn’t you be talking with your alpha mares and other herdmates? Setting a good example for your foals?” she tried diplomacy, though not very well. “We keep getting shut down! We’re tired of talking to the mares! We demand action!” said Lyra from the crowd. There was hush. The bachelor herd turned and stared at her, tilting their heads. When had Lyra joined an all-stallion protest? She went hot in the face, hunching a little like somepony might hit her. “Bon Bon doesn’t even let me go out with friends after dark…” she mumbled in a small voice, humbled by all the attention. They looked at each other, then at her. There was some murmuring back and forth. Same problem, just a same-gender couple? Mhhhh…. Made sense, yeah. That was fine. A random stallion put a protest sign into her hoof. “Rabble!” she said with righteous authority, raising the sign high. ““RAAAAAABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE!” the stallions instantly recruited a singular mare, joining her rabble with theirs. “Please! Please everypony, just stay calm!” Madam Mare pulled at her collar a little. “If you want to make changes in your lives, you just have to petition like everypony else!” Again there was quiet. The stallions looked back and forth. Petition? “You know, a signed document signed by many ponies saying you want something?” Madam Mayor offered. “How many signatures do we need to change a law or something? For REAL action to happen?” a stallion in the crowd demanded to know. “About twenty-five thousand signatures are needed to petition the crown. Not to mention a spokespony to represent the group.” Madam Mare said in a small voice. “AUUUUUUGH!” The entire crowd roared, throwing up their hooves and shouting at the sky about the unfairness of it all. “RAAAAAABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE-RABBLE!” They stomped and threw their signs and bucked wildly about while the mayor hid behind her podium, smiling a bit bashfully. “Standing around on the front lawn of the town hall shouting ‘rabble-rabble-rabble’ isn’t helping your cause!” Mayor Mare said, trying to be heard over the shouting, stomping ponies. “Go home to your wives and herdmates! Talk to them!” “She’s right!” Somepony shouted. “You heard her, everypony! Twenty-five thousand stallions, right here, to sign a petition! Let’s make it happen!” There were roars of approval back and forth. Mayor Mare suddenly went as pale as a sheet. Twenty-five thousand stallions, right here in Ponyville?! “What have I done…?” she whispered, staring out over the protesters as they began to assign towns and cities to one another. “We’ll need a spokespony too.” Spike said, sitting on Big Mac’s back to think. “No offense, Big Macintosh, I know you started all this, but we need somepony who has a way with words.” “Eyuup.” Big Mac nodded in agreement. “Somepony of high station,” Spike mumbled, stroking his chin thoughtfully. “Somepony big and tough, who’s not afraid of anything. Somepony that can represent all the oppressed stallions of Equestria, who’ll take our petition to Canterlot for the Princesses to see!” Big Mac hmm’d, deep in thought. He couldn’t think of such a pony. “I know!” Spike suddenly said, thrusting a finger into the air. “I know exactly who to get!” =-----=-----=-----=-----= “Stallions on Strike?” Shining Armor mumbled over his morning coffee, turning over the Canterlot Caller. Flipping the newspaper all the way open. He read aloud, “The stallions of Ponyville have quit their jobs en masse, demanding equal rights and pay for their time and efforts. Many are demanding job changes and other radical law creation to equalize the two genders, at least in their area.” The white unicorn cocked his head, sipping his coffee. “Pass that over here.” Princess Celestia said with interest. Her magic grasped the article, and she scanned down it. Princess Cadance and Princess Luna leaned from either side of her. The royal breakfast table was quiet for a time while they took turns reading it. Shining Armor marveled, perhaps for the millionth time, how lucky he was to be the stallion of the alicorn herd. The ONLY alicorn herd. “Well, that’s certainly something.” Cadance said, taking the paper when Celestia was done with it. The front page had a rather violent-looking action shot of a group of shouting stallions. They were waving signs and their mouths were open mid-yell. “They do look really angry.” She said with concern. “Equal rights and pay?” Luna scoffed just a bit, rolling her eyes. “Mares are paid more because we must do the wooing of the stallions for our herds to grow.” She got dirty looks from Celestia and Cadance both. Shining Armor got very busy with his sugared hay cereal. He was soldier-enough to know when to pick his battles. He stayed quiet. “Call us a liar, Tia, Cadance.” Luna took the paper and scanned the article herself. “We pay for the dinner-dates, gifts and such…” she trailed off to read. Shining Armor smiled a little painfully. He knew she was right, but he did hate to see her purse her lips like that. It meant she was stressed. Princess Luna was by far his most tempermental herdmate and lover, but he did his best to soothe her when he could. Ever since Cadance had married him and brought him into their herd he’d had to carefully balance not one, not two, but THREE Princesses with completely different needs. Reaching over and putting a massive hoof over the paper, he gently pulled it away from her. “It’s just an article, honey, let it be.” He said with his most charming smile. Luna sighed a little, but obeyed and let him put it on the other side of the table. He nodded gratefully and leaned to kiss her cheek. The midnight mare smiled happily. Crisis averted. He motioned, and a servant stallion bore the paper away when he took one of his side dishes. “It is an interesting thought, though.” Cadance murmured, fork hovering in front of her mouth. “It’s not as though we prevent equal wages or anything. It’s a mare-dominated society because there’re simply more OF us.” She chewed, pondering. “The immortals rule because we have greater wisdom, and the greater mare population elects female leaders. It’s only natural.” “I agree.” Celestia said mildly, nodding. Her eyes betrayed inner thoughts, but she didn’t voice them. Was she thinking that hard about the tiny article? “I wonder what stallions would do, sister, if they ruled the world?” Luna giggled a bit. “Shining Armor, what would thou do if thou ruled the world for a day?” the three of them put their husband on the spot. Shining Armor looked back and forth between the three of them, smiling rather bashfully. “W-well, from where I’m sitting,” he gestured to the three of them. “I wouldn’t change a thing.” That got smiles from all three of them, and he knew he had this particular battle well in hoof. “See? It’s fine.” Luna said, smirking a bit. “Maybe one of us should visit Ponyville before something bad happens?” Cadance asked, cocking her head with concern. “I mean, that town is sort of a magnet for trouble. Especially with all the elements living there. The power of the six gems draws negative magic like a lightning rod, so it can be destroyed.” The Princess of Love worried for her subjects just as much as Celestia or Luna. While some ponies didn’t accept her as a Princess of the realm, she did control the Crystal Empire, and she HAD brought home a lovely stallion (after years upon years of searching for the perfect mate) for the three alicorns to enjoy together. She was a working mare, was all. She couldn’t sit on a throne all day like the Royal Sisters did. “It would make me feel better if one of us three went to at least soothe them and let them know that they’re not being completely ignored.” “Hmm…” Celestia considered. “They have a local government for a reason, my herd.” Luna said, shrugging and downing the last bit of her orange juice. “A griffon would not hunt a rabbit with a ballista bolt.” She gestured to her radiant sister. “Hrm, Luna has a point.” Celestia finally conceded with a patient sigh. “If it turns violent or gets out of control, we can intervene. But, those stallions have the right to sort things out for themselves. They don’t need our help. You know how much I hate using dues ex machina to end the problems of mortals.” She gestured mildly, with a tired expression. “If they don’t learn to solve their own problems, they’ll never actually SOLVE their own problems. We should not baby them.” She told her fellow alicorns. They nodded. “I wouldn’t worry about it either.” Shining Armor put in. “Besides, they—!” he was interrupted when a whisp of magic sailed into the window and POOF’D into a scroll. “Oh hey, a letter from Twilie!” he said, smiling enthusiastically. “I bet this is her take on the whole situation down there.” Celestia smiled, nodding. No doubt her student had drawn great wisdom and was reading into the topics of sexism and equality even as they spoke. Though it was odd that it had been sent by magic vapor and not dragon’s fire like usual. Hmm. “Dear Princess Celestia,” she read aloud. The royal breakfast table quieted. They always loved hearing from Twilight Sparkle. “I am in jail.” She blanched at the first sentence. “What?!” gasped Cadance. “What?!” gasped Shining Armor. “Pff-AH-HAHAHAHA!” Luna threw her head back into a great bellow of laughter. =-----=-----=-----=-----= The massive group of stallions was staring at Derpy Hooves. She looked back and forth between them all. Quite unused to being the center of attention, the wall-eyed mare trembled a little. “Y-yeah?” she asked the staring herd. There was mumbling, murmuring, and gesturing at the mail mare. They were eyeing her up and down like the mob of unsure villagers that they were. “D-did you guys need something?” While Derpy had no herd of her own, she’d never shied away from the attention of a stallion. She was a mare like any other. But when thirty of them had wandered by and seen her delivering mail to a mailbox, she was suddenly the object of everypony’s attention. They surrounded her in a great semi-circle where she stood in front of a mailbox. She looked back and forth rather nervously. They were all holding scary-looking signs that said stuff like ‘Down with the Mare!’ and ‘Mares should do hard work too!’ The poor grey Pegasus didn’t know what to make of them all. W-were they going to hurt her?! Her tail tucked and she hunched a little, as though expecting to be struck. Her eyes got big and soft. M-maybe she shouldn’t have wandered so far from the main strip. With all this protesting going on, the group of angry stallions had grown quite large! Suddenly Derpy was kissed on each cheek by two different stallions. “We appreciate you, Derpy!” They told her. The clumsy pony flushed dark, touching one of her cheeks. “Y-you do?” she whispered, trembling a little. A goofy smile worked its way across her face and she looked at the ground. “Aww shucks, guys…” she mumbled, taking off her mail-mare’s hat. “Nopony ever stops to tell me that, I’m j-just the mail mare.” She smiled bashfully. The protest group nodded at each other, gesturing with approval at Derpy. She was hardworking! She was a public servant, like a guard or a firefighter! Derpy was doing it right, they decided. Hooray for Derpy! There was happy murmuring back and forth, and two more stallions came forward to kiss her cheeks. She went scarlet again, stuttering and giggling loudly. Then two more kisses. Then two more kisses! “St-stop it!” she shrieked, laughing happily as she was loved on by the local male population. “Alright, alright, that’s enough you guys!” Mr. Cake called. “Some of you are married, curb it a little!” There was male laughter, and lots of nodding. “Thanks for being a great mare, Derpy!” The skinny stallion waved from the crowd. Derpy smiled despite herself, touching her cheek again. She’d never felt so loved in her life! “C’mon guys! Time to rip down the mare establishment!” They all took turns waving goodbye to beloved, hard-working public servant Derpy, and trekked on down the street towards the train station. “Wait what?” Derpy blink-blinked. “Mare establishment?” =-----=-----=-----=-----= “He said he’d meet us here.” Spike said, pacing back and forth. Big Macintosh, Mr. Cake, and Spike had seen the other stallions onto various trains for the rest of the day. Then, they’d taken Mr. Cake home so he could check on his foals. But then, the baby dragon had sent a letter by dragon’s fire to a very particular pony. A well-spoken pony that would act as the spokespony for the entire stallion protest group. “See anything yet?” Big Macintosh had his head cocked back, looking skyward. “Nope.” He said, peering about like the stars had something to say. Spike paced back and forth on his back, worried that their friend wouldn’t come. Well, not friend. Friend was probably too strong of a word. More like ‘pony we’ve met and is powerful enough to serve as a spearhead to a socio-political movement’. Not just any stallion would do, Spike had sent for the tippy-top of power, and had even bribed him with some of his tastiest gems. The ones he’d been saving for a holiday or something. Their shiny, crystalline structures would hopefully earn the beast’s favor, and he would grace the tiny town of Ponyville with his presence. The stars went out, suddenly. Spike stopped, peering up. Darkness was descending upon the grassy field where they stood in Ponyville park. The baby dragon hopped off of Big Mac’s back. “Oh! I think that’s him! He’s coming!” he said enthusiastically. The red stallion shifted nervously as grass began to wave. The smell of a mighty storm pressed hard on his muzzle. It made him nervous. He cocked his head, looking around and perking his ears for the sounds of hoofsteps—but none came. Was it a Pegasus, coming on the wing. “Hrrrryyssss-s-s-s-s-ss…” A fel-voice was on the breeze, and both of them froze. The sky was growing obscured with heavy, molten-black clouds. A swirling of dark magic melted down from the sky like so much lava lamp goo. It took its sweet time, bearing down on both of them. “Wuh---huh-hurrhhhhgh…” It turned cone-shaped as a terrible power pressed at them, tasted them, made sure it was in the proper place. A blacker-than-black pony emerged from the mist. His glowing red eyes were spewing purple steam into the air around him. “Nyargh worg rawrgh rahhh snargh!” he declared, throwing his chest out as his cape flapped gallantly in the phantom winds of the night. The clouds dissipated, and slowly the normal night returned. Big Mac stared, spotting the crown on his head. He bowed. He had no idea who it was, but he sure looked like royalty to him. Spike bowed too, respectful of his former enemy. “King Sombra, thanks for coming. Did you like the crystal-growing aquarium set I sent you for Hearths Warming?” Spike asked brightly. “Crystallllllls.” Sombra nodded happily, coming forward and patting Spike’s head with affection. “Nyargh worgh blargh rahh-rah- sneeirrrrl?” he looked at Big Mac, wanting to know. “Eyuup.” said Big Mac, wanting to be a good welcoming party as well. King Sombra’s eyes lidded as his jowls rose to display all his fangs in a terrifying smile. He patted Big Mac’s head too, beckoning him to rise. When he did, he found the earth pony a full head taller than him. His ego was stung, but he quickly steadied himself. “Ahem. Worgh-rawrgh nyargh rargh?” “Oh you can stay with me, don’t worry.” Spike led him away with Big Mac. “Not a lot of hotels in a town this small. Thanks again for coming!” he praised his pen pal again. “Worg-rawrgh.” King Sombra nodded, thinking nothing of it. He was a king after all, what could he do if not answer to the call of one of the few allies he had? If they needed a spokespony, he would do his very best to help them. End of Part 4