You’ve been sitting in a holding cell for a few hours now... just sitting.
You know... for once It’s really nice to have peace and quiet.
…
“Ah....” You exhale peacefully. “Maybe jail would be better than just constantly running...” You ponder out loud.
“It seems like that’s all I do these days…run from Twilight, run from Rainbow, run from... pretty much everypony and everything.”
“hmm.”
“Well.” You say to yourself. “Time to get to work. It’s like I said.” You weakly say, “No more running... right?”
You slowly pull yourself to your feet and brush yourself off and rest against the bars, trying to motivate yourself.
“So... let’s see...” You say, stroking your chin thoughtfully. “Assault, molestation, magical assault... I wonder if they have any laws against extra-dimensional kidnapping?” You muse to yourself. “Come to think of it, I don’t even know what kind of judicial system they have.”
“Maybe I should have thought this through first...” You you groan, then lay down on your jail cot to sort through the day.
…
Thinking.
Thinking.
Thinking.
Think... Sleepy...
Sleepy...
Just as you are starting to fall asleep, you JOLT AWAKE.
What was that? A explosion? A teleport? Asteroids!? What coul-
You look around the room, and..
“Oh. It’s nothing.” You mutter as you settle back down in your cot. “Guess I’ve been getting a bit jumpy... I mean, it’s like as soon as things settle down something crazy happens. It’s like I’m in a bad fanfi-”
You are distracted by the sound of clopping.
It’s getting closer.
Closer.
The clopping is is coming from outside of your door now!
“They really need to come up with a better term for that.” You sullenly mutter.
*Knock Knock* “America? Are you in there? It’s Twilight Sparkle.... I just wanted to talk to you. Um... Can I come in?” You hear a nervous voice call out from outside the cell block.
You purse your lips, then sarcastically say, “Why not? It’s not like anything could stop you.”
Twilight opens the door, an apologetic smile on her face.
“Listen, I just... I just.” Twilight pinches her nose and sighs in frustration. “Ok Listen. I’m sorry for foal-napping you. But-”
“‘SORRY’ isn’t going to cut it Twilight.” You interrupt. “You. Kid-Foal-napped me!”
Twilight’s ear flicks in annoyance. “I know. I just- just... UGH!” Twilight stomps her hoof in frustration. “Just listen ok!”
“Listen” Twilight says, tracing one of the jail’s bars with her hoof. “Equestria’s court system still has a... bit of a bias against Stallions.”
Your eyes widen. Oh Horseapples.
“And, well...” Twilight says bashfully kicking her hoof against the floor. “If you get assigned to me, I’ll do my best to make sure you are happy.”
“WHAT?!” You exclaim in shock.
“KAYSORRYBYENOW!” Twlight blurts out as she teleports away. *VATHOMP*
*You facepalm*
“This... may have been a bad idea.”
-A few hours later-
“All rise for the Honorable Flawed Justice!”
The court stands for the the judge, Flawed Justice. “Her name would make a great comic book title...” You whisper.
Flawed Justice announces that, “The accused parties today are the saviors of Equestria, the Bearers of Harmony, and the Student of Princess Celestia herself, Twilight Sparkle!”
You REALLY should have thought this out.
“The accuser is... this...” Flawed Justice pauses for a second.
“America.” You answer.
Flawed Justice then announces that, “America is suing the Bearers of Harmony.”
Flawed Justice asks you. “What are the charges?”
You stand up and make yourself as presentable as possible, torn clothes, sleep-deprived red eyes, and nervous face. “Interdimensional foal-napping, 2nd degree attempted rape, forced morphing, assault, and molestation.”
The crowd gasps in disbelief.
Flawed Justice speaks, “The charges are plain, and because of America’s... non-citizen status, and his lack of knowledge of the Equestrian Justice System, I’m going to change the protocols, to allow informal arguments and sentencing.”
Out of the corner of your eye you see Twilight toss a huge stack of legal papers and notes into the air. “Ughh!!”
Flawed Justice bangs the Gavel, and announces that "The case of America vs The Elements has begun!”
“Good luck.”
bit short, but good
Lol 'MURICA!
There goes Twilight's chance for a simple victory. Yeah, 'Merica!
img.izismile.com/img/img5/20120821/640/oh_merica_640_19.jpg
Wait, he's suing the main six? But only Twi and Rainbow did anything wrong amongst them. All the other problems were caused by random background characters.
Murphies law will kick America in the balls again I can just tell.
2420816encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQZle9aA3nf_YZUXhV7R5QRMYDpC84BQ7xpYmc3YA3MfK48NJhI
deviantart.com/download/326859161/__murica__by_dragshadow97-d5elq55.jpg
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSr_hn5fa40AEsw5c1uO3o_KQ7tW3zdv3lL4cJSbEgbfSxoOlGJ
MORE.
2420897 OMFG I CAN"T BREATHE!
Ultimate 'Merica
2421017 OMFG you can't breathe!
*starts hyperventilating*
HUZZAH! Another excellent chapter Moar plz
*slams hands down on computer desk*
The trial hast begun!
Contact Phoenix wright!! Please let America win this cause
This chapter is good. Now, where is the rest of it?
What's that? That's the whole chapter?
Welp, now waiting for months for snother one.
Now every time I read this I see Hetalia America.
Loving these keep them coming please
I have no idea what informal arguments and sentencing (as opposed to formal arguments and sentencing) could possibly mean. Except that I imagine that formal arguments and sentencing would involve throwing out the stallion's charges and sending them to a mare who can teach them to stay in the kitchen, I guess.
2422338 I did. MASSIVE writers block.
I'm terribly sorry. I wanted to get this done... it just wasn't writing!
Plus I've been under a lot of stress. I had been looking for a job (just got hired on a national show!), I had been looking for housing (now I've got several options to pick from), and work had been... very stressful.
So, stress and comedic writing don't exactly go together...
REGARDLESS. This chapter's delay was well...
I hope you all can forgive me...
2422652 They're pretty much the same, only informal requires more banging of the gavel to shut everyone up.
Time to go Phoenix Wright on there collective asses.
This is prob what he would imagin it to look like
:
This is what it really looks like:
2422923
That's how I imagine the trial will go as well, being weird and random. And hopefully with America winning.
I've waiting so long America and now you have returned to face....The Elements?!
No matter, I still trust you shall succeed, like always.
For America'!
BRING OUT THE OBJECTIONS!
"The Honorable Flawed Justice"? Oh yeah, that's a good sign...
Why do they even throw the victim in a cell and not the accussed? I don't know if I should rage at the injustice or laugh...
Welp. Saw that one coming. If they throw a victim in a cell of course they are biased!
Great chapter by the way. Oh, and I think I will settle with a laugh at this point. I mean this abuse and playing with gender roles is somehow funny!
His name is America? I came here for The U.S. vs the element bearers. Not some law and order. vid For US vs. idea
Anyway good story. Will continue to read.