When Pinkie Pie starts to become a tad overweight, and all her friends notice it, she is forced to do one thing she has never done in her whole life.... She has to go on a diet. It's just a small sweets diet. She can go a couple weeks without her regular amount of sugar.... Right? Actually, no. She can't. But she can try.

For as long as Rainbow Dash could remember, her life was simple, straightforward, and planned out with one goal in mind: become the best flyer in all of Equestria. Simple. But when she unwittingly comes across a tool that allows her to relive the memories of her ancestors, that simplicity is challenged when she discovers dark secrets hidden in her family's past as well as Equestria's history that not only challenge her perceptions of reality, but threatens to alter her very psyche.

As she's thrust into the remnants of a centuries-long war, as she questions the morals of those around her, as she battles to separate reality from fantasy, will Rainbow be able to hold on to her own beliefs or will she embrace her family's blood-stained traditions and finish what they started?

My name is James Clark, and I am a Private Military Contractor. No, not Mercenary. Yes, there is a difference, but that's beside the point.

Ok, where was I? Ah yes, I was just entering my office in Downtown Houston one afternoon to hear a job offer. When I got there, I found a beautiful, robe-wearing woman waiting for me. Now, in this day and age, most people would find that strange. I didn't for two reasons.

1) In this line of work, you run into a few crazies. If I had a dollar for every nut-job I turned away, I could buy a small European country.

2) It was Halloween. Hell, I was on my way to a party dressed in a replica suit of Veteran Ranger Armor from Fallout: New Vegas, complete with gas mask and real riot gear I borrowed from a friend on the SWAT team. I was gonna win the costume contest for sure!

I'm getting off topic, aren't I? Anyways, this weirdo offered me a job without going into much detail. No location, no objective, not even a dollar amount The only thing I got out of her was the promise that I would be saving thousands, if not millions of lives.

Every instinct told me to turn the job down, and yet I still accepted it. Maybe the idea of playing hero again had its appeal.

God, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

When Rainbow Dash was a young filly, she enjoyed a strange, but powerful connection to a supposedly legendary being from a distant land, one only achieved in slumber. Unfortunately, as time marched on and the two grew into stronger individuals, the link, in turn, began to grow weaker, eventually disappearing entirely. Of course though, nothing like that is truly lost forever. Now, with both fully grown and fighting on distant battlefields, the connection is reemerging when both need it most. With it, Rainbow Dash will soon learn of a dark conspiracy that will put her element to the test and the fate of everything in her hooves.

After GLaDOS is uploaded into a potato battery, Wheatley humiliates the AI even further by uploading her into a project that was abandoned by Aperture a long time ago. In the blink of an eye, she finds herself in a deformed body of flesh and bone that resembles an equine, and is just as powerless as one too. It comes with all of its needs and bodily functions as well. To make matters worse, she's trapped in a land full of insufferable creatures that just want to make 'friends.' Will GLaDOS' cold, sadistic sense of humor and morals get the better of the ponies? Or will they peel away the once artificial being's metallic shell and find that there's a softer side? Probably not, but it's worth a try.

Story Theme: Tyler Bates - I Love You (Watchmen OST)

Thanks to Meeester, MrJoshy, and funkyferret for proofreading/reviewing.

Cover by Fedte16.

Recently rewritten. Contains occasional adult humor and violence.
***
On a request from Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle and the rest of the mane six explore an abandoned mansion located deep in the woods. While doing so, they unwittingly stumble across an enchanted mirror that scrambles their DNA and pops out three brand new bouncing baby ponies. Hilarity and drama ensue as the mane six must cope with being suddenly thrust into motherhood, as well as protect their new foals from a dark god that wishes to use them for his own sinister gain.

***

Fanart:
The three foals. by Freefraq on Deviantart.

The Eleventh Doctor (aka Matt Smith) is bumbling about in his Tardis when a crazy timey-wimey happening finds him in Equestria, a land from a children's cartoon. Despite the idea that being in the world of TV ought to be impossible, he's found himself turned into a bowtie-wearing pony in a pleasant little town known as Ponyville. What's more, the people there won't stop calling him Doctor Whooves! In order to get bet back into his own Time Lord form and out of the impossible world of My Little Pony, he may or may not have to make some new friends, fight some villains and pull out his "savior of the universe act." Geronimo!

This is a different take on Doctor Whooves, and also a sleep-deprived Doctor Who/MLP crossover idea I got in the very early hours of the morning so it could easily be rubbish. It's not meant to be terribly serious, but it's also my first fic so go easy on me. More characters could come and the rating could possibly change.

There really is no excuse for forgetting something as important as a hoof-written law. But Celestia forgot. And now, a thousand years after she wrote it, a law comes into play mandating that Celestia take a two-month sabbatical from her duties as Princess of Equestria.

So what happens when she has to step down for a couple months and leave Luna by herself in the bloody gladiator ring that is Equestrian politics? What happens when Celestia has to disguise herself and mingle with the populace of Ponyville without them knowing?

The short answer to that would be "a string of hilarious chance encounters, sisterly banter, romantic mishaps, and a political coup that was decades in the making."

The long answer, of course, is this story.

=-=-=

Rated Teen for swearing and sexual humor.

Cover image is by enma-darei

Foals can do it, you can do it too! Miss Cheerilee points out some basic rules for all of her students to follow. (Note: rated teen for not having random sex scenes with Twilight Sparkle). Also, apologies to my editor Future, because I didn't run the story by him and he puts up with that sort of crap

(Also also, huge thanks to blackgryph0n *original artist* and Paleo Prints *the touch-ups* for letting me use their fine cover picture!)

Twilight has always had feelings for Celestia. But whether these feelings are for her surrogate mother or for her imagined lover, nopony knows. It will take something strange to make her understand just what she thinks of the Princess; something like her conscience becoming sentient.