Warning to all Ponyfolk: Always Feed The Pinkie Pie
A great flash of white exploded over the whole town of Ponyville before Twilight and her friends were able to see what had happened. When they were able to visualize the town, everything was as destroyed and the mess was yet to be cleaned up... But there was one important thing missing.
"Where's... Where's Giganto-Pinkie?" Rainbow Dash asked with confusion.
As the white haze started to clear up, the ponies finally saw Princess Celestia and an unconscious (and regularly sized) Pinkie Pie was waiting in the middle of town.
"Princess Celestia! The princess did it!" Twilight screamed. All the ponies cheered and gathered around the Princess and the sleeping Pinkie Pie, and the Princess quietly hushed them. The crowd's noise slowly abated, and Twilight was the first to speak.
"Princess Celestia! I'm so sorry for what I did! I thought it would be healthy for Pinkie to start a diet, and then she started going all crazy, and then-"
"Please Twilight, there is no need to explain. If anypony needs to explain things, I should be the one."
"What?" The five main ponies and dragon said in unison.
"As of now, I put Pinkie Pie back to regular size, boosted Pinkie Pie's metabolism up fifty percent, and made her unconscious. Now, I should have explained this beforehand, because I knew that one day, this would happened." The white shining alicorn sighed. "Twilight, tell me this. Can a pony live without air?"
Twilight looked at her in confusion. "Well, of course not. It's a simple fact. Ponies need air to live."
"Exactly. For Pinkie Pie, She has had so much candy and fat-inducing foods for everyday of her life that it seems like a simple regulation for her to need than something she can just choose to want. So if you take away air from a pony, a pony would do whatever he or she can do to get air back. That was what Pinkie Pie had been doing."
"What a minute!" Twilight interrupted. "I had sent you three letters about my friends and I planning a diet for Pinkie Pie beforehand! Why hadn't you said or warmed me about anything?"
"Well, I was very busy while handling very important matters." Princess Celestia grinned sheepishly.
"Wait ah minute!" Applejack also interrupted. "This here problem has gotten on the news! Ponies sent letters to yah once it happened! Ah even watched Twilight send one, with that urgent stamp, too! What took yah so long?"
Ponies started arguing all at once toward the Princess, and she stopped them before they had to time to argue more.
"Okay, my little ponies. I know I had been a tad bit late on this situation. But at least everypony knows what would happen if you even mention diets by Pinkie Pie, and now it won't ever happen again. Also, I need everypony in Ponyville to make haste of knowing this one thing. So everypony, please, listen up... Vinyl Scratch? Are you still here?"
The white DJ mare got through the crowd. "Uh, here, your highness."
"Do you still have one of your speakers nearby? May I use one of them?"
"Uh, sure, give me a second."
After five minutes, Vinyl Scratch had set up one of her huge black speakers for Princess Celestia to use.
"Now, everypony, this is very important. Once we get this town cleaned up and back to how it used to be, we must never speak of this to Pinkie ever again."
The crowd bursted with questions, most of them being "why".
"I erased Pinkie's whole memory of this dieting situation ever happening. If she is to ever remember this ever happening, she will think herself as a monster. Not only will this stab at her self-confidence, but this will cause her to remember the memories of the diet, and start on her candy rampage once again. So, we will have to organize this together to make sure this is forgotten!"
From that moment on, Ponyville cleaned up all the broken houses and buildings, and Pinkie Pie woke up thinking that an earthquake simply happened, and that she had slept through it.
Due to Princess Celestia boosting her metabolism, Pinkie Pie never got fat from her eating habits anymore, and she continued happily through life eating as much junk food and candy as she wanted.
As for the rest of Ponyville, the whole problem with Pinkie Pie was forever known as the "Wreckage of Year 12", and to the pink party mare, she thinks that they're just talking about the earthquake she never saw.
Laws passed through Ponyville, and the mayor approved the tenth city law to be, "No ponyfolk of Ponyville shall ever demand 'her' or descendants of 'her' any such diets, or solutions that imply diets." Pinkie Pie thinks that the law is about Princess Celestia, and any other way, she barely cares about it or what it's talking about. Pinkie Pie barely listens to laws. Mostly of those referring to physics. But any laws, nonetheless.
Pinkie Pie happily lives her life never knowing about what happened those couple days. But many prophecies theorize that one day, somepony will slip up and accidentally tell her, and the pink monstrosity will come back again.
For now, Ponyville can't risk that. They keep the secret well hidden from pink mare, and laws were later made to stop any ponies from talking about the Wreckage of Year 12 in public.
Before Princess Celestia Went To Ponyville
"Are you ready, sister?" Princess Luna said to her big sister, clutching her hooves to the side of the slide.
"I'll race you to the bottom... Readysetgo!" Princess Celestia launched herself through the white tube and all the way down the slide.
The two princesses were supposedly doing work, but for now, the work they were doing was sliding down the giant temporary tube slides that proceeded in the throne room.
"Weeeeeee!" They both said in unison. The slides were so long and complicated that it had been ten seconds and they weren't even halfway done.
One of Celestia's guards walked in. "Princess, there is a pile of letters here for you. Many of them are urgent."
"Not right now, Stalwart! I'm having the time of my life!"
"Uh... I know this isn't any of my business mam, but this seems REALLY important... They all have urgent stamps and are from Ponyville. It is also on the Ponyville news that a giant pink monster pony is destroying the town..."
"That can wait! Weeeeee!" The Princesses finally got to the bottom of the slide.
"Uh, are you completely sure, Princess? The whole town of Ponyville is in panic mode as we spea-"
"Let's go again, sister!" Princess Luna flew all the way up to the beginning of the slide, and Princess Celestia followed, giggling.
"Okay then..." The guard scoffed and threw the letters on the floor. "Do you mind if I join too?"
The two princesses looked at each other and shrugged. "Get up here, Stalwart!"
"Yay!"
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Nice to see this be finished
Magic fixes everything~
Pinkie Pie reminds me of Ryback.
Umm.....
1792716 Oops.
Very...um silly.
Evidently, Celestia is out of practice with the Royal Canterlot Voice after however many centuries of not using it.
And now, a public service announcement. Remember to keep your Pinkie Pie well fed every day of her life. Pinkie Pies love sweets, confections, and all things saccharine, so be sure to keep sugary treats on hoof for your Pinkie Pie. Most important, if your Pinkie Pie is putting on an unhealthy amount of weight, never, under any circumstance, attempt to limit her food intake. Remember, if you don't feed her, she'll feed herself, and you don't want that. The best way to keep your Pinkie Pie's weight under control is to make sure she stays active. Pinkie Pies are very energetic by nature, so such problems should rarely surface.
Whew, that went on way longer than it should have. As for the ending, it wasn't very satisfying. It feels like you just BS-ed it, mostly because of the deus ex machina ending. Though I do like that you acknowledged a couple of plot holes and tried to handwave them with a few jokes, though I can't speak for anyone else when I say that the humor wasn't all that entertaining in this chapter. Personally, I'd have liked the last chapter and a half to have started with Celestia showing up and Twilight getting her up-to-date on what was happening... with Pinkie Pie still wreaking havoc across town in the background. But hey, that's just me.
Think you mean beforehoof, not hand and you also put hand in it once more...well, twice more and it's ma'am not mam. other the a few minor errors this story was bad ass!!!! Poor Pinkie, though one can never argue with a Goddess
Oh, shit, if she ever rememebers the world is BUCKED......hey, it's Vinyl, she's amazing
Loved it, hoping to see more of your new stories soon
...
...slides...
...long slides....
...
I Liek Slides!!!
Tube slides need to be canon. Now.
A little rushed...but at least you finished...
1792972 It's not healthy to leak slides. You should see a doctor about that.
The best part was the Princesses and the slide.
Oh Celestia, you so troll!
I don't know what's worse: both princesses doing such a thing, or the fact that I can totally see both princesses doing such a thing! [my vote's on the latter].
Anyways, i have really enjoyed this tale of yours! 9.0 out of 10 in my book! Keep up the amazing work, mate!
1793906 I can see them doing it, too.
good ending.
Yes.
And so one of my favorite stories of all time on this site ends.... and ends in a way that actually does make sense.... and it still funny as all hell...
Good job man. Seriously... if I had a pic ready to show awesomeness I would post it but yeah, at the moment I don't. Still, good work.
also I make no promises but this might get a dramatic reading someday
I love slides! /o/
I liked it. Cute.
Well that was anticlimactic but quite funny
And on that day forth....
Stalwart loved his leaders even more.
I thought this story was dead, but it's resurrected!!
heh
This was a disappointing ending. I did like how Celestia and Luna were goofing off, though.
1805527 It was an ending, any other way. I just wanted to finish this... Wait a minute
Regidar?
Usdh...Uhsdaso.... Uhh... hi.
1808310 Man, I loved this fic before I was even popular.
I'm glad you watched me, BTW.
I am not dissapointed because of the slide... and I didn't really care, I was just sick of Pinkie Pie being a fat slob. I don't need to see all those fat folds or see how much she can eat... that's GROSS.
I can certainly tell that you lost interest in this story given how quick, and rushed this ending is. Amusing, never the least. Better to have finished it then to have not finished it at all.
Good. Could've been better, but then again, so could air
Seemed slightly rushed, but I loved that ending
Lols
My brain is full of fuck.
Great fic. Legitimately funny too, with all sorts of references. I could criticize the Celestia Ex Machina ending, but this was just a minor point. If it is funny enough, nothing else really matters anyway. I loved it.
Besides from the dialogue of News Caster ( some couldve developed into more jokes, some of it was really corny ) it was a good fic.
I loved the ending.
This is funny, but proves in my mind that Pinkie’s pretty much a junkie in all but name... and stupidly overpowered.
This stallion will, years later, be known as Mojo.
If this actually happen, then..? 🤔🤔🤔
And also, what the heck is Wreckage of Year 12?
Finally, Pinkie Pie didn't say anything at all in the last chapter?
ah such a beautiful ending to a chaotic story bravo