It was a sunny Sunday morning, and Twilight walked out of her (tree)house to see the beautiful day... Or at least she hoped it was going to be a beautiful day. The whole gang was planning to help Pinkie with the first day of her diet, and she knew that it wasn't going to be easy.
"Hey Twilight," Rainbow Dash greeted, flying and landing beside the purple mare.
"Good morning, Rainbow. I didn't think you'd be up this early to help Pinkie with us.... Honestly, I thought you'd just oversleep and bail." Twilight lightly chuckled.
"Really? This is one of my best friends were talking about here, and I'm the Element of Loyalty, remember? And plus, Pinkie looked pretty down last time we saw her. I have to come in case she broke through her window or something."
"That's the truth."
Twilight and Rainbow Dash laughed while walking towards Sugarcube Corner.
"What's next, she breaks into a house and steals candy?" Twilight said, giggling.
As Twilight was finishing her question, they finally made it to Sugarcube Corner, and they froze. Broken glass from Pinkie's window were laid all over the floor, and guards sent from Celestia were walking around Ponyville. Twilight twitched.
"Oh... Buck."
They ran into the Bakery to find it destroyed. The Cakes sat on the floor, their eyes bloodshot red with tiredness.
"What happened?!" Twilight asked, getting a sigh and grunt from The Cakes as a first response.
Mr.Cake finally spoke up. "The window." His voice was cracked as he answered.
"Pinkie broke out by the window and broke into a pony's house. Ate all the candy... Surprisingly, she did it all in her sleep. She's still sleeping right now."
"We got no sleep," Mrs.Cake joined the conversation. "We spent all night trying to chase her down. In the end, she just came right back here to her bed..."
The Cakes were about to pass out until Mr.Cake popped back up. "Are you guys going to go up there?"
Rainbow Dash and Twilight looked at each other, then back at Mr.Cake, confused.
"Yes...?"
"Don't wake her up forcefully! Be nice and calm with her, please! We tried waking her up while she was on her candy spree, but she just ran and broke stuff like a maniac!"
They both gulped, nodded, and slowly walked up the stairs. They opened the door slowly and tiptoed (hoof toed?) into the room. The window beside her bed was broken like how they saw it outside, and in the middle of the broken glass and candy wrappers that laid all over a pink bed, laid a pink mare, snoring quietly.
Pinkie Pie yawned, blinked her eyes slowly, then looked at nothing in particular with a straight face. She saw Twilight and Rainbow Dash, who stared at her with horror.
"Hehe, good morning... Pinkie...." Rainbow Dash said, cautiously.
The pink mare sat up (ignoring the broken glass) and yawned again.
"I had a dream that I was in a land made of nothing but candy and sugar. There were candy streets, and candy houses, and candy people... It was even ruled by this bubblegum thingy... I ate them all. It was amazing."
Twilight took hold of the situation. "That's good...? So... Did you have a good sleep?"
"I don't know." Pinkie's eyes were slowly closing shut. She apparently wasn't completely awake yet. Her eyes then shot open and looked straight at Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash was confused, because Pinkie was not staring and her face, but at her... body?
"Well, today were going to go to the park. Everybody is going to come so it will be just like a party. Diets aren't going to change anything in the way you live... Pinkie? Are you listening?"
The sleepy, pink pony was now licking her lips to the sight of Rainbow Dash, and the cyan mare was scared for her life. Pinkie Pie began to slowly move closer to her.
"I... want... candy...."
Rainbow Dash was backing up. "Pinkie Pie. I'm not candy, I'm Rainbow Dash? The fastest flier in all of-"
"CANDY!"
Pinkie Pie pounced onto the rainbow pony, and Twilight was terrified.
"PINKIE PIE!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"
Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy came into the bakery, was told about the incident, and proceeded up the stairs to Pinkie's room.
"I'm just sayin Fluttershy, maybe if yah could tell your bunny folk to stop eatin mah-" Applejack was interrupted by the loud clatter that came from Pinkie's room. The three ponies looked at each other in confusion, then listened to the noises that came from the other side of the door.
They heard grunts from Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie.
"Pinkie Pie, stop!"
"Must... eat... candy!!!"
"Pinkie Pie- AH! DON'T LICK ME THERE!"
They all looked at each other, blushing madly.
Twilight grunted as she tried to pull Pinkie off Rainbow Dash, who had an expression on her face that screamed, "HELP ME YOU BUCKIN' BUCK."
"Pinkie Pie," Twilight emphasized her pulling on every word she said. "Rainbow... Dash... is...friend... not... food!"
Twilight hit the floor flank first, and decided it was no use to try.
There has to be a way!... Oh. Wait a minute... Ohhhh..... Oh. Twilight facehoofed and stood up behind Pinkie Pie, who was still furiously licking Rainbow Dash. The rainbow pony did not look frightened, but now she just looked confused. She actually seemed like she was enjoying it! Twilight giggled lightly (which did cause Rainbow Dash to blush), and a flash of purple aura blasted from her horn. She levitated Pinkie Pie into the air and away from Rainbow Dash, and the cyan pegasus relaxed on the floor.
The other three slammed the door open and ran into the room, screaming, "WHAT'S GOING ON!?" They all looked around and saw Rainbow Dash on the floor, Twilight on the other side of the room, and Pinkie Pie levitated in the air, moving around and trying to escape from her magic imprisonment.
"Don't worry you guys, I got it all under control," Twilight said smugly as she magically held Pinkie in the air.
"What happened? If you're okay with telling us..." Fluttershy said, still blushing as red as an apple.
Rainbow Dash got off the floor, looking shinier than usual.
"Pinkie Pie tried to eat me, that's what happened!"
The room went silent.
"She tried... To eat you?" Rarity said, looking like she was about to faint.
"Yes! She tried to eat me! She was licking me up and everything!"
"Well," Applejack said, pawing the ground. "Did ... Yah like it?"
"What!?... Wait Wait... Ew! N-not like that! She tried eating me like she would eat a lollipop!"
Rarity got back into the conversation. "Well, dear, I've seen Pinkie Pie eat a lollipop before... She doesn't usually eat it, but she takes her time licking it..."
"And yah didn't answer mah question..."
"Oh my gosh! Fine... I didn't really hate it... It... was okay?"
"Aha! So you did enjoy it! How was she licking you?"
"She licked me everywhere."
"Like... everywhere everywhere?"
"No! Not everywhere everywhere... "
"Did any of her licks travel down to yur netherlands, if yah know what ah mean?"
"Well, she bit me on the leg."
They all agreed and nodded their heads like they heard a clever scientific fact. Fluttershy muttered, "You should really get that checked..."
"Okay, stop!" Twilight said, accidentally dropping Pinkie Pie in the process. Pinkie Pie, with her hair all down and her eyes twitching, dashed out the window in a matter of seconds, and left the rest of her friends speechless.
"Oops."
They all ran out of the Bakery, looking for signs of the pink monstrosity.
"Okay, do we have any plans?" Twilight said while looking around.
"Why don't you just blast her with that spell you tried on the parasprites? The one that stopped them from eating food?" Rainbow Dash asked.
Twilight stopped and turned to the pegasus.
"Do you really want Pinkie Pie, the pony that could eat fifty boxes of candy in one night, to be eating houses and furniture!? She already tried to eat you!"
"Okay, okay!"
Applejack's eyes went wide. "There she is!"
They all turned to the left to find Pinkie Pie swallowing down buckets of candy from a market stall. She finished and ran away, before any of them could catch her.
"She's heading for the food stalls!"
Lyra and Bon Bon happily took a food stall table, and sat down.
"Finally! After another month of making the recipes just right, I finally made you your chocolate cherry, coconut-filled, apple cruncher pie!" Bon Bon said, putting two slices down for her and her marefriend.
"Yay! Finally, I can taste this pie! Were the ingredients really shipped all the way from Canterlot?"
"Mhhm," Bon Bon replied, satisfied with the happiness of Lyra. "And this time, no parasprite is going to eat this pie!"
"They better not!"
The two ponies took their forks out, and licked their lips as they looked down upon the slices of pie.
"Well, bon appe-"
Before Bon Bon could finish, a crazy, pink mare crashed the middle of their date, ate the slices of pie, and ran off.
Lyra slammed her face onto the table.
Twilight and the other four ran down the streets of Ponyville, chasing down Pinkie Pie.
"Where'd she go!?" Twilight asked Bon Bon, since Lyra was still banging her head onto the market stall table.
Bon Bon pointed her hoof down to the market stalls. "She went over there." Her voice was emotionless, and she facehoofed after giving the directions.
"Thanks!"
They ran down until they found Pinkie Pie, attacking all the stalls and eating their sweets and candy one by one.
Pinkie Pie attacked a local stall owner, who started to throw bits at the pink mare.
"Take it! TAKE MY BITS! JUST TAKE MY BITS AND GO AWAY!"
"I don't want your bits!" Pinkie screamed, her voice being much lower and scarier from her regular. "I WANT YOUR SWEETS!"
The local stand owner screamed and ran away as Pinkie continued to plunder all the stands.
"Okay, Twilight, levitate her!" Rainbow Dash said, pointing her hoof towards Pinkie.
"Okay!" The purple unicorn said confidently.
Twilight took her magic and tried to carry her up, but for some reason, it didn't work. The purple mare grunted.
"Uhg, did she happen to eat foil?" Twilight asked, still trying to use her magic.
"From all the wrapped candy we just watched her eat, yah." Applejack stated. "Why?"
"Well, foil is the number one magic repelling system that degrades my usual magic power by forty percent! And, she's not staying still!"
"Ahh horseapples!" Applejack facehoofed.
"Well then," Rainbow Dash got into her regular racing position. "Leave it all to me!"
She flew into the market stall that Pinkie was in, and after a couple seconds, the other four heard her screaming.
"Help me! She's trying to eat me again!"
"Ahm comin Rainbow!" Applejack ran towards the market stalls too, only to be thrown back to where she came from. Rainbow Dash was thrown back, after a while, too.
"Dang... Ah didn't think Pinkie had it in her, but she got a mighty kick."
"Tell me about it," Rainbow said, still stunned from the throw.
"Okay," Twilight said, thinking about ways to stop Pinkie. "So Rainbow Dash tried, Applejack tried, Rarity and I are pretty much useless... Fluttershy? Do you think you can do the stare on her?"
"Umm... I don't think we can get her to stare straight into my eyes... So..."
"Oh yeah... Elements of Harmony?"
"How are we going to use the Elements of Harmony if the one we're trying to attack is an element?" Rarity pointed out the realization.
"Buck..." Twilight sighed. "I guess there is no other way... Someone call Spike, I need him to get something for me."
"Why? What do you need him to get?"
Twilight stared into her friends' eyes, then stared into the distance.
"We're going to use... the holy hoof grenade."
Early update! Yay! I just need to upload it now since I'm busy all day tomorrow. I hope you enjoy this chapter! If there are any huge mistakes you can point out, just tell me, and I'll fix them. Also, I know I'm pretty late on this fact, but over 500 likes! WHAT!?!? Thank you!
"I had a dream that I was in a land made of nothing but candy and sugar. There were candy streets, and candy houses, and candy people... It was even ruled by this bubblegum thingy... I ate them all. It was amazing."
She was the deer!
tiptoed (hoof toed?)
tiphooved
well pinkie has gone
1366490 I gave that tiphooved hooftoed situation a lot of thought.... I still don't know
1366490 OMG It all makes sense now.
... no wait that deer had hands. The Deer was Lyra, Pinkie was probably just dreaming.
The holy hoof grenade? Oh I've got to see what that is.
The Holy Hoof Grenade of Pranciot Instruction guide, PG 42:
"And the Princess Celestia spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hoof Grenade of Pranciot towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."
Le ! The Holy Hoof Grenade?!...
Why did I see this coming.
And yeah, I understand they had good intentions but... what kind of holy hell have they unleashed onto the good ponies of ponyville. This is worse than Discord almost.... almost....
but yeah KEEP WRITING THIS!!!! ITS MY FAVORITE STORY BY FAR RIGHT NOW!!!!!
also holy hoof grenade..... SO many jokes I can make.
I see your Finding Nemo reference.
She's lost it
1366560 "1... 2.... 5!" Twilight screamed, throwing the holy grenade towards Pinkie Pie. Then Pinkie Pie exploded. The end.... Sneak peak? JUST KIDDING (maybe)
1366560 Amen.
(I so wish there was a like button.)
The Holy Hoof Grenade? Let me make the joke so everyone else won't have to.
1 . . . 2 . . . 5! Wait. 3!
What you did there, I see it.
t.qkme.me/35d2m3.jpg
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/boy-that-escalated-quickly.jpg
1366518
Hooves are considered the tips of toes in mammals that have them, so I think tiptoe is still appropriate.
Plumage? Do you mean plunder, because plumage refers to a bird's feathers, though I suppose you could also apply it to a pegasus, but that's not really relevant in this context.
Gentlecolts,
lolbrary.com/content/661/shit-got-real-15661.jpg
Wow, things sure went to tartarus in a hand basket real quick. Heaven knows what havoc Pinkie will wreck next in her bid to escape her diet
....And they shall feast on the lambs, and the sloths, and the anchovies, and the orangutans, and the breakfast cereals, and the fruit bats...
...AND THE CANDY!!!
Awwwwwwwwwwwwww, shit, son.
If the Holy Hoof Grenade doesn't work, there still the Royal Sisters and the Royal Guard.
Note to self, stock up on candy before opening gateway to Equestria...
a kingdom of candy sounds like adventure time and monty python woo references
1366804 It was plunder. Thank you
not sure if fallout refrence
Dat Lyra scene. Did you add that at the last second when you were writing about the parasprites?
: I.... want.... candy.....
Me:
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png Pinkie better watch out. This baby packs a punch
fallout3.nexusmods.com/mods/images/2382-1-1230581943.jpg
"I don't want your bits!" Pinkie screamed, her voice being much lower and scarier from her regular. "I WANT YOUR SWEETS!"
I read this in Pinkie's "demonic voice" (you know, the voice she uses when she shouted "YOU PINKIE PROMISED!")
they're not going to make it 'till 2 weeks, i know for sure.
>>>The sleepy, pink pony was now licking her lips to the sight of Rainbow Dash, and the cyan mare was scared for her life. Pinkie Pie began to slowly move closer to her.
"I... want... candy...."
Rainbow Dash was backing up. "Pinkie Pie. I'm not candy...>>>
"I'm clearly cupcake material! Wait... who wrote this script?!
Pinkie Pie grinned psychotically and sang in a creaky, off-key voice, "Cuuuuup-caaaaakes so sweet and taaaaastyyyyyyy.."
1366518 I imagine it would be tiphoofed (tiphooved?) since hooftoed would imply they have toes.
1366560
WAITETH!
"O CELESTIA, bless this Thy hoof grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy. And Celestia did grin and the ponies did feast upon the daisies, and tulips, and apples, and watermelons, and pistachios, and breakfast cereals, and wild grasses..."
Now thou mayest proceed.
"Pinkie Pie- Ah! DON'T LICK ME THERE!"
Pushes Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy out of the way.
"MOVE BITCHES, I NEED TO SEE THIS!"
The Holy Hoof Grenade?
I want one of those!
1367102 Well it is very creative~, If you want, I can send it to a friend of mine, he makes PMV. would you like me to send him these, and maybe he can come up with something?
Mmm~ Loved the licking part~ <3
Hold up, a Pinkie Dash...take all my bits, TAKE THEM NOW DAMN IT! YOU HAVE ONE OF MY TOP FIVE FAVORITE SHIPS!!!!!! Loving this very much and poor Lyra, she got bucked up....not much a fan of Bon-Bon though.
Shining Armor: 1…2…5
Twilight: 3 Sir
Shining Armor: 3
"Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy came into the Bakery, was told about the incident, and was walking up the stairs to Pinkie's room. "
Should be "were" instead of "was", since it's a group.
Omg Pinkie dreamed she was in Adventure time's Candy kingdom! And she at everything and everyone! Including Princess Bubblegum!
fc09.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/297/6/2/adventure_time___candy_kingdom_by_fullerenedream-d4dvvae.png
Pinkie Pie is a zombie?
" "Hehe, good morning... PInkie...." Rainbow Dash said, cautiously. "
You've capitalised the first I in Pinkie there.
Pinkie normally erotically massages her candy with her tongue before eating it?
"Pinkie broke out by the window and broke into a pony's house. Ate all the candy... Surprisingly, she did it all in her sleep. She's still sleeping right now."
HEH! I actually once bounced on my parents' bed in my sleep as a child, so it's not that impossible.
"We spent all night trying to chase her down.
And the mane six slept through all this?
There were candy streets, and candy houses, and candy people... It was even ruled by this bubblegum thingy... I ate them all. It was amazing."
BAD Pinkie pie! Bad! You don't eat the candy that talks! ...They're special.
"Well, she bit me on the leg."
That derailed that train so beautifully it deserves a medal.
At least Pinkie's getting plenty of exercise.
"Well, foil is the number one magic repelling system that degrades my usual magic power by forty percent!
0-0 ?! That came out of left field.
"We're going to use... the holy hoof grenade."
0-0 ?! Oh brother.
I'd say just have Twilight spell copy the royal canterlot and tell Pinkie Pie, "It's time to harvest the rocks!" She's a rock farmer after all.
And you think her sleep walking would have worn off by now or with all her pigging out she'd be back to her normal intact and snap out of it.
"There were candy streets, and candy houses, and candy people... It was even ruled by this bubblegum thingy... I ate them all. "
Candy people?
People?
Oh wait, it's Pinkie Pie.
so who's gonna get their face ripped off?
New chapter!
NAOW
1367746 I'm gonna say applejack pushed the others out of the way
1368532 two things
1. Pinkie has gone beyond crazy (more so than usual).
2. It could have just been the sensation
Awesome chapter!
...oh dear. This is not good.
Equestria is doomed.