When Fluttershy finds out Rainbow Dash is hiding a box, she becomes determined to find out what it is, and why her friend is hiding it.
Credit for the picture goes to *MR-1* on deviantArt.
Chapters (2)
Art Inspired
Joined 7th Jul, 2012 ·
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Art Inspired · 1.4k words · 599 48 · 9k views
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Hmm...
faved. 
This to too perfect. I have that picture as my current wallpaper
True story
Win.
All my yes.
The fact that you didn't capitalize all the letters in the title is bugging me a lot.
1255132 There.
1255138 Many thanks!
You keep using "their" in place of "they're".
1255165 Thank you for pointing that out. I sometimes get that single thing mixed up.
It's been fixed.
You keep on missing quotation marks, and punctuation before and after them... like commas.
Pretty simple concept, a nice, relaxing read, can't say I laughed for the comedy tag, but it's good.
The review train has arrived!
1) If Twilight didn't want Fluttershy knowing about the box, why did she bring it up in the first place?
2) I thought you needed more of a transition from Fluttershy's curiosity to her madness. You just kind of jumped there at the end, and a little more buildup would have made it seem less out-of-the-blue.
3) I noticed a few grammar errors, mostly having to do with commas before quotes. For example:
should be
While we're on the topic, you need to learn the difference between 'their' and 'they're'. 'Their' is possessive, indicating ownership, and 'they're' is a contraction of 'they are.' And 'claimed' isn't a very good attributive verb in most cases.
Also, there were a few typos. My favorite was 'Ludacris.' That's the name of the rapper, not an actual word. The word you want is 'ludicrous.'
Otherwise, a fun little story based on a pretty good idea. I hope this helps!
And of course I thought of "Cupcakes" as soon as I read that Pinkie had made them.
1255217>>1255218 Okay... the errors are fixed. The thing with their, the're and there has always messed me up. I know the difference but sometimes, I just forget.
I apologize for this, and will try to remember to read it while splitting up conjunctions as I reread my work. As for Ludacris... I don't even know where that came from.
YAY
you listened to my suggestion
Poor Fluttershy, PFFFFFFT Yeah right!
Will read in a bit; I love Fluttershy~!
1255341 Eeyup!
1255344 She's my fave pony.
These instantly popped into my head:
[youtube=oXQUTsXaQKE]
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/6/20/NQAda-i_vUG9geDeOkEijg2.jpg
We need a Fluttercry pic for this
1255277
Good for you! Fix the silly grammar derps BEFORE you go live in the feature box for awhile
Feature box is all about th' "Cute pony reacts to incongruous thing, cutely"
(in as close to the minimum 1000 words as possible)
So that's what animal crackers are...
That was an entertaining read.
All my everything
1255506
Say what??? ... 
...
Oh celestia! YES!
Hmmmmm......love Flutter's and thought this was bad ass so I'm down.
Is it sad that the last sentence pertained to me? I always bite the heads of the animals off first.
Anyway, great story. Fluttershy will be forever scarred by this incident
!
Hmmm. making me hungry for animal crackers.
1255564
Fix the derps and make your mane presentable.
Have fun up there...
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/scared.gif fluttershy will never recover from that
So...
How long before this is featured?
You make my insides smile.
Brohoof to anyone who gets it
1255634
It is featured!
1255641
Indeed. It wasn't when I started reading, but I posted my comment and reloaded the page, and what do you know.
You people work quick.
That was scary.
Great concept. Pretty in character. I can see this definitely happenIng somehow. However while good the story could use a bit more polish. Still I liked it.
Moustache for you!
This was so cute!
1255639seriously?cupcakes reference? not sayiniwouldnt do the same but bein twisted is supposed to be my job
anyways this is what this story made me do this
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120906142304/runescape/images/6/60/EvilLaughEmote.gif
its also my job to put a runescape emote on every story i read so there
Damn you got featured fast, it hasn't even left the new stories list
>1255867 This isn't even my best work.
And it ticks me off that the single joke fic I did, not EVEN serious gets featured while I have a whole arsenal of awesome sensual stories that deserve to be up there!
But I'm still psyched I got featured!
PERFECT!!!!!!!!!
YET IT HAD SOME ERROR:
:
STILL GREAT
The friendly snack that smiles back--until you bite their heads off.
Fluttertrauma.
F.D.A.C. i think i see what you did there...
wonder how Fluttershy would handle Happy Tree Friends
1255132 I can't shake the feeling that we've met before...
This is a friggin' win.
... Why is it, even though she proved to only be trying to protect Fluttershy, that I can't stop thinking about Twilight as being a troll in this story?
"Did I do good, teacher?"
"You've done wonderfully, my faithful student."
Applejack....
LYING?
1256160 Remember the Pinkamena episode? It's canon! I'm in the clear.