• Member Since 6th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Art Inspired


A wise man once told me, "Live what you write, and write what you live."

Sequels1

E

When Fluttershy finds out Rainbow Dash is hiding a box, she becomes determined to find out what it is, and why her friend is hiding it.

Credit for the picture goes to *MR-1* on deviantArt.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 286 )

This to too perfect. I have that picture as my current wallpaper:pinkiegasp:
True story:moustache:

The fact that you didn't capitalize all the letters in the title is bugging me a lot.

You keep using "their" in place of "they're".

1255165 Thank you for pointing that out. I sometimes get that single thing mixed up.:derpytongue2: It's been fixed.

You keep on missing quotation marks, and punctuation before and after them... like commas.

Pretty simple concept, a nice, relaxing read, can't say I laughed for the comedy tag, but it's good.

The review train has arrived! :pinkiehappy:

1) If Twilight didn't want Fluttershy knowing about the box, why did she bring it up in the first place?

2) I thought you needed more of a transition from Fluttershy's curiosity to her madness. You just kind of jumped there at the end, and a little more buildup would have made it seem less out-of-the-blue.

3) I noticed a few grammar errors, mostly having to do with commas before quotes. For example:

The rainbow maned Pegasus claimed “What? Their just a snack!”

should be

The rainbow-maned Pegasus claimed, “What? They're just a snack!”

While we're on the topic, you need to learn the difference between 'their' and 'they're'. 'Their' is possessive, indicating ownership, and 'they're' is a contraction of 'they are.' And 'claimed' isn't a very good attributive verb in most cases.

Also, there were a few typos. My favorite was 'Ludacris.' That's the name of the rapper, not an actual word. The word you want is 'ludicrous.'

Otherwise, a fun little story based on a pretty good idea. I hope this helps! :twilightsmile:

And of course I thought of "Cupcakes" as soon as I read that Pinkie had made them.

1255217>>1255218 Okay... the errors are fixed. The thing with their, the're and there has always messed me up. I know the difference but sometimes, I just forget.:derpytongue2: I apologize for this, and will try to remember to read it while splitting up conjunctions as I reread my work. As for Ludacris... I don't even know where that came from.:derpyderp2:

YAY :twilightblush: you listened to my suggestion

Poor Fluttershy, PFFFFFFT Yeah right!:trollestia:

Will read in a bit; I love Fluttershy~!

These instantly popped into my head:
[youtube=oXQUTsXaQKE]
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/6/20/NQAda-i_vUG9geDeOkEijg2.jpg

We need a Fluttercry pic for this

1255277
Good for you! Fix the silly grammar derps BEFORE you go live in the feature box for awhile :ajbemused:

Feature box is all about th' "Cute pony reacts to incongruous thing, cutely" :ajsmug:
(in as close to the minimum 1000 words as possible)

So that's what animal crackers are...

That was an entertaining read.

1255506:rainbowhuh:Say what??? ... :rainbowderp:...:rainbowwild: Oh celestia! YES!

Hmmmmm......love Flutter's and thought this was bad ass so I'm down.

Is it sad that the last sentence pertained to me? I always bite the heads of the animals off first.

Anyway, great story. Fluttershy will be forever scarred by this incident :pinkiehappy:!

Hmmm. making me hungry for animal crackers.

1255564
Fix the derps and make your mane presentable. :ajbemused:

Have fun up there... :ajsleepy:

So...

How long before this is featured? :ajsmug:

You make my insides smile. :pinkiehappy:

Brohoof to anyone who gets it

1255641

Indeed. It wasn't when I started reading, but I posted my comment and reloaded the page, and what do you know. :rainbowhuh:

You people work quick.

Great concept. Pretty in character. I can see this definitely happenIng somehow. However while good the story could use a bit more polish. Still I liked it.

:flutterrage:"SOYLENT YELLOW IS ANIMA.... Oh, they arent? My bad..." :fluttercry:

This was so cute!:yay:

1255639seriously?cupcakes reference? not sayiniwouldnt do the same but bein twisted is supposed to be my job
anyways this is what this story made me do this
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120906142304/runescape/images/6/60/EvilLaughEmote.gif
its also my job to put a runescape emote on every story i read so there

Damn you got featured fast, it hasn't even left the new stories list :pinkiegasp:

>1255867 This isn't even my best work.:ajbemused: And it ticks me off that the single joke fic I did, not EVEN serious gets featured while I have a whole arsenal of awesome sensual stories that deserve to be up there!:twilightangry2: But I'm still psyched I got featured!:pinkiehappy:

PERFECT!!!!!!!!!:flutterrage:

YET IT HAD SOME ERROR::pinkiesad2::

STILL GREAT:pinkiecrazy:

The friendly snack that smiles back--until you bite their heads off.
Fluttertrauma.

F.D.A.C. i think i see what you did there...




wonder how Fluttershy would handle Happy Tree Friends

1255132 I can't shake the feeling that we've met before...

This is a friggin' win.

... Why is it, even though she proved to only be trying to protect Fluttershy, that I can't stop thinking about Twilight as being a troll in this story?

"Did I do good, teacher?"

"You've done wonderfully, my faithful student." :trollestia:

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