Chapter 6: Stories
The sun was going down when we finally sighted the oasis. I was completely exhausted, both from the fight on the train and having practically run for two hours straight, only taking a few minutes for a water break here and there, and even then we'd continue on at a trot at the least. Looking behind me, I saw that my friends weren't faring much better. Still, the sight of the oasis spurred us on.
It took us twenty minutes to reach the oasis, and when we did I just collapsed right next to the water. I just wanted to fall asleep and not wake up again. God, I felt like such a wimp. The next thing I felt was something warm rubbing up against my flank. I knew it was a bad idea, but I still had to look. I turned my head and saw Wisp using my backside as a pillow, her head resting just behind my saddlebags and right over my cutie mark. I seriously have to find a less girly name for that.
"Hey, get up."
"Dun wanna" she mumbled tiredly. Frankly, I was too tired to do anything about it. I decided to just let her play grab-ass for now. Besides, I'd long since figured out that she's just messing with me. The only way to get a troll to stop is to not let them get to you.
"Have you two no shame?" Then again, the troll's brother was a completely different story.
"Bite me," I retorted oh so eloquently.
He just snorted and picked his sister up. Even without her weight holding me down, I did not want to get up. I just laid there for a few minutes, alone with my thoughts. I didn't get back on my hooves for an entire ten minutes, and the sun was well below the horizon when I did. I turned around, and saw the glow of a campfire in one of the ruined buildings. Tiredly, I trotted up to where the group had set up shop and slid my saddlebags off.
Once I was sure they were a reasonable distance from the fire (which, strangely, had no wood fueling it), I rooted around in my bags until I found my amulet. I slipped it on, and immediately changed back into a human. Being a pony' was an interesting experience, but I much prefer the familiarity of my own body.
"Gonna get cold tonight," Wasp commented.
"Yeah yeah, this isn't my first time in the desert," I replied as I sidled up closer to the flames. "At least here I don't have to worry about IEDs or constantly getting shot at."
"IEDs?"
I facepalmed. Of course they wouldn't know that term. It's not like on Earth where you can hear about IEDs within five minutes of putting the news on. "Improvised Explosive Device," I explained. "Damned common during the War, and a pain in the ass."
"Oh my," breathed Twilight.
"Yeah, let me tell ya, Iraq was not fun. Well... usually." I began to chuckle to myself, remembering a funny story. "There was this one time in Baghdad, my buddy Keith and I were off duty so we took a walk through the Green Zone, probably the safest part of the city. We find this nice little hole-in-the-wall Indian restaurant, and decided to grab a bite for lunch. While there, he bets me a hundred bucks that he could eat a bhut jolakia pepper without crying." That drew a few confused looks. "Ok, for reference, a jalapeño averages around 5000 on the Scoville heat scale. Bhut jolakias average around 1,000,000."
Their jaws dropped as soon as I told them how hot that pepper was. "Yeah. Anyways, he pops one chile in his mouth, and he's perfectly fine... for about five seconds. Poor guy hollered like his entire head was on fire." My audience began laughing, although Twilight was doing a poor job
"Didn't you help him?"
"Couldn't," I replied. "I was too busy laughing my ass off." She looked like she was about to chastise me, but I waved it off before she could get a word out. "Hey, he'd have done the same to me."
"So that's that?" asked Wasp.
I just began laughing. "Oh no, it wasn't even close to being over. We got back to base and went our separate ways. A few hours later, we hear this wailing coming from the latrines. Sounded like someone torturing a herd of kittens. I went to investigate, and saw Keith tumble out of a port-a-john and collapse, panting as if he just sprinted a mile." I began chuckling to myself at that mental image. "As I stood over him, he looked up at me and whispered 'It hurts more going out'."
Even Twilight fell over laughing at that. Something tells me that, despite her bookishness, she is no stranger to schadenfreude, especially when it comes to her friends.
With the levity out of the way, it was time to get down to business. "Alright, we need to set up a watch rotation. How good's everyone's night vision?"
"Pretty good," said Wisp. "Changelings spend most of their lives away from Equestria in poorly lit underground hives. We can see a few miles away with moonlight, and about half a mile with just starlight."
"Mine's nowhere near that good," Twilight said.
I nodded, expecting as much from Twilight, but the changelings' excellent night vision made my task so much easier. "Alright then, simple enough. We each have a three hour shift. I'll take first watch, followed by Wasp, then Wisp, and Twilight will take the dawn watch. If you suspect that something's approaching us, wake me up. I'll decide if we are in trouble."
"What if we're attacked during our watch?" asked Twilight.
"Then holler at the top of your lungs and try and fight back. I'm a light sleeper so you won't be fighting alone."
Wisp and Wasp seemed to be taking this whole situation in stride, but Twilight seemed a bit antsy. "Hey, relax. I doubt that we'll actually come under attack. It's just a worst case scenario."
"You sure?" she asked, a bit of her anxiousness dissipating.
"Positive," I replied. "I'm actually more worried about wildlife than anything else."
"Well... if you say so." She gave me a tentative smile.
"I do. Now, let's get some food and some shuteye. Tomorrow's gonna be the first of many long days to come."
We broke camp just before sunrise. The night passed uneventfully, allowing all of us to get a decent night's sleep. Well, most of us. It wouldn't have been so bad if not for a certain nymph deciding to be a cuddle bug all night long. I swear, first thing I'm gonna do when we reach civilization is buy Wisp a teddy bear.
Ah well, so what if I was operating with less than four hours of sleep. I've done worse. Hell, in Iraq, I've had to go days at a time with barely any sleep at all. At least this time it wasn't because of mortar rounds landing nearby.
Seeing as we weren't in a hurry this time, I decided to skip transforming all together and just march along. At first glance, I thought that Wasp and Wisp decided to do the same, but a closer look at their hooves revealed that they were camel-like instead of their normal, horse-like hooves. It made sense, seeing as we were stuck in a sandy desert.
Twilight, however, seemed to be having no trouble at all with the sandy terrain, despite the fact that her hooves weren't designed for this environment. I asked about it, only to receive a reply of "magic" and a shit-eating grin. Damn overpowered unicorns.
Our march continued in silence, save for Wisp who was humming a jaunty tune. It was pretty catchy, and soon we all were humming along. I was kinda wishing I had brought along a harmonica to play. Oh sure, I don't know how to play a harmonica, but It'd still been nice.
We decided to take our break a little after eleven, when the sun beating down started overpowering the enchantment on my gear. I broke out the portable shelter, which was not just a tarp and a few sticks thank you very much, and we all huddled underneath in the shade. Of course, this gave Wisp a perfect excuse to rub up against me. There wasn't much I could really do about it but grin and bear it.
The scenery hadn't changed much since yesterday. Nothing but sand dunes as far as the eye could see, with one lone exception. To the east, off in the distance, was a lone, pitch-black stone column jutting out of the landscape. It drew my attention, being the only thing of note worth looking at.
"What is that?"
"The Demon," Wasp replied.
Before I could ask what the hell he was talking about, Twilight practically shoved me aside to get a better look. "I didn't know the Demon was on our path! It's one of the greatest geological mysteries in Equestria! I've read so many books postulating how it came to be."
"That's all well and good, but what the hell is it?" I asked impatiently.
Twilight chuckled nervously to herself. "Sorry. Guess I kinda got a little excited," she said. "The Demon is an obsidian pillar located, well, right over there. It's named after an old desert legend. Wanna hear it?" Well, it's not like we have anything better to do, so I nod in ascent.
"Long ago, before the reign of Discord, there lived a great and powerful demon in an oasis out in the desert. This oasis had the coolest, tastiest water for miles around, and surrounding it were pomegranate trees bearing fruit the most delicious fruit one could taste.
"One day, near this oasis, a caravan was attacked by a band of marauders. The marauders killed everypony they could find, save one who was able to hide underneath a wagon. When the bandits finished their bloody deed, they looted all of the caravan's food and water and left the poor pony to die.
"Two days later, tired, hungry, and dying of thirst, that poor pony crawled into the demon's oasis. Luckily for him, the demon was away at the time, tending to its various affairs. The pony crawled over to the cool water and took a long sip. Far away, the demon jolted as if struck. 'Someone's drinking my water!' it exclaimed before taking flight" Wow, I gotta admit, Twi's a pretty good storyteller. Her voice even dropped a few octaves when she did the demon's voice.
"Before the demon could return, however, the pony took a bite of a pomegranate. Again the demon was alarmed and exclaimed 'someone's eating my pomegranates!'.
"When the demon returned to its oasis, it found the pony fast asleep, pomegranate juice still staining his muzzle. Enraged, the great demon reached out with its terrible claws to rend the pony limb from limb, but paused as it got an evil idea. Quietly cackling, the demon crept by the sleeping pony and went towards its forge.
"A few hours later, the pony awoke to the sound of metal striking metal. Curious as to what was making such a racket, the pony crept towards the forge, and saw the demon working furiously. 'Steal my water and pomegranates, will he?' the demon muttered. 'I'll show the thief what for.'
"Now, the pony ducked behind a crate and shook in terror. 'That demon is going to punish me for saving my own life,' he thought to himself, 'oh how unjust and cruel'.
"Soon, the demon's work was done and it roared in triumph. 'Yes! With this I will show teach that pony not to steal from me!' Then the demon turned and began rummaging in its tools. Curiosity getting the better of him, the pony crept up to see what cruel instrument the demon planned to use to torture him. On the anvil, the pony saw what appeared to be a simple, plain, ordinary nail.
"Now, the pony was not the smartest out there, but even he knew that whatever the demon had planned with that nail was no good. So, thinking quickly, he snatched up the newly forged nail and replaced it with another from a nearby bin. Hiding the nail under his tongue, the pony returned to where he had laid down and pretended to sleep.
"A few minutes later, the demon shook the pony violently. 'Wake up, little pony,' the demon growled. 'It is time to accept your punishment,'
"'Punishment?' asked the pony. 'What crime did I commit that requires punishment?'
"'Why, theft, my little pony,' the demon replied. 'You stole my pomegranates and water, and for that...' The Demon waved its claw in an arcane gesture and, in the blink of an eye, the oasis vanished, save for a large stone slab. 'Now I have sent the oasis away, ninety nine leagues to the west, where you may never reach it.'
"'Oh mighty Demon, how terribly cruel you are,' the pony whined.
"Bah, you have yet to see how cruel I truly am.' With that, the demon placed the nail where the pony's shadow touched the stone slab and hammered it in. 'That nail now binds you to this stone for all of eternity. From now until the end, you will remain trapped here, and your shadow must always fall upon the cursed nail, and any magic that you once had is forever lost to you.'
"'Mighty Demon, that is truly a most cruel punishment. A punishment only befitting one just as cruel.' The pony spit the true cursed nail out, and jammed it into the slab where the Demon's own shadow touched.
"The Demon raged and lashed out at the pony. It weaved its claws in arcane gestures, but the curse had already taken hold, and it was bereft of its magic. Taking this as an opportunity to flee the pony galloped as fast and as far as his hooves could carry him. He eventually stumbled across a trade caravan, and accompanied them back to civilization.
"As for the Demon, it had crafted the cursed nail too well. No matter what it tried, the nail would not budge. From across the land, other demons gathered to try their hand at freeing their brother. But, it was all for naught, as none could remove the nail. Fearing a similar fate, the demons cut their shadows off with enchanted silver blades, a method tried and failed with the trapped one.
“To this day, it is said that the Demon still haunts the deep desert, forever cursed to remain attached to a stone slab by its shadow."
We spent the next few hours swapping stories with one another. Most of my contributions were war stories, although I focused on the more pleasant events. Wisp and Wasp told stories of their childhood growing up in the Hive, most of which involved pranking one or the other.
Twilight's stories, on the other hand (hoof?), were focused on her life in Ponyville; more specifically her friends. Some of the shit they got into was really hard to believe. Like that one time they evicted a fucking dragon! Holy shit, man.
As a side note, I really want to meet this Pinkie Pie character. She sounds like a laugh a minute.
At around two in the afternoon, we broke camp. The heat was still unpleasant, but bearable. Besides, if we had waited any longer, we likely wouldn't have reached the next waystation before nightfall. Let me tell you, nights out in the desert are fucking cold. Hell, I'd probably be snuggling up to Wisp when I'm bedded down. Don't look at me like that. She's warm.
Our pace was much more leisurely than when we set out from the train. We weren't racing the sun this time. Thankfully, the waystations were set up so that simply walking would see us there before nightfall, even with our midday break.
So far, barring the train, our journey had yet to hit a snag. That, unfortunately, wouldn’t last long.
A few hours before sunset, we neared the second waystation, another oasis. In fact, all we had to do was climb over a dune and we’d be able to see it. Just before we began our climb, however, Twilight’s ear twitched.
“Wait,” she whispered. “I think I hear something.”
We stopped cold. I turn my eyes skyward, hoping to spot any airborne opponents before they get the drop on us. I couldn’t spot any, but there were plenty of clouds to hide behind.
“I hear it too,” Wisp said. Curse my human ears. The ponies definitely had that advantage over me. “It’s coming from the other side of the dune.”
Nodding, I signal my followers to stay low as we climb the dune. It was slow going. Sand is not an easy medium to climb. It took nearly ten minutes of slipping and sliding before any of us made it to the top. Carefully, I poked my head over the edge to make myself as hard to spot as possible. Thank god I didn’t pick up a dark colored hat.
“Damn,” I breathed. Surrounding the oasis was what looked like a small army encampment. Blue and white tents covered a lot of real estate, leaving only a small strip surrounding the shoreline. Figures of various sizes milled about here and there.
“This wasn’t here when I checked this route,” Wasp commented from beside me. “Griffons?”
I couldn’t tell. We were too far away for me to make out any details. Luckily, however, I came prepared. I slipped off my pack and pulled out a pair of binoculars. Looking through them, I was definitely not expecting what I saw.
There were indeed griffons in the camp, but they were in the clear minority. There were more ponies than anything else down there, both earth ponies and unicorns, with a smattering of pegasi here and there. Most wore blue silk barding decorated with silver rings, though a few wore nothing at all. The few griffons I spotted all wore chain mail armor and carried long halberds, though not in a threatening manner.
Along with ponies and griffons, a few swarthy, bull-headed minotaurs walked here and there. Most surprisingly, however, a handful of undisguised changelings fluttered amongst the camp, one of whom was having an animated conversation with a unicorn.
“Curious,” I commented, more to myself really.
"I'll say," someone I didn't recognize said. "I mean, seriously, two changeling royals, the Princess' personal student, and something I have never seen before all scoping out our campsite. It sounds like the beginning of a bad joke." Startled, I rolled over to see the newcomer, reaching for my holdout weapon as well. A pale blue, rainbow-maned pegasus stallion hovered above us. Ok, there is no way that's not a dye job. I'd seen some ponies with interesting color combinations, but this one takes the cake.
More importantly, how the hell did this guy get the drop on me? He was wearing heavy plate armor for crying out loud. At least he wasn't armed... oh wait, the leading edges of his wings were covered by a very sharp blade. That's... actually kinda neat.
"Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked. Did she recognize this guy or something?
The stallion just smirked. "Of course you'd know my little filly. I swear, she never tells anyone about me. It's like she's ashamed of me or something." The pegasus swooped down and landed right in front of us, still wearing that damn smirk. “Name's Rainbow Blitz,” he said, extending a hoof, which Twilight shook.
“Twilight Sparkle, though apparently you know that already. These are my associates; Princess Wisp, Prince Wasp, and James Clark; our bodyguard.”
Hand and hoof shakes were exchanged all around. Despite this guy's cocky attitude, he was actually pleasant company. At least he wasn't trying to kill us like those griffons.
“So where are you folks headed?” Blitz asked.
Twilight started to answer, but I butted in. “That's classified.”
“Aww, c'mon,” Blitz complained. “Show a little professional courtesy, one guard to another.”
“Aint happening. Not with Sikskysher after us.”
Rainbow Blitz blinked. “S-sikskysher? Are you sure?”
Wisp nodded. “Yeah, they ambushed us on our train and forced us to cross the desert on hoof.”
Blitz was definitely caught off guard. He was at a loss for words. Eventually, he managed to find his voice. “I need you to come with me. Elder Stonewall needs to hear about this.”
I wasn't going to argue. This Stonewall guy sounded like the guy in charge. Who knows, I might be able to milk a little information. Who knows, these people might be on our side. However, it wasn't a good idea to just wait to find out. Sometimes, you just have to take a leap of faith.
Still, that didn't mean I wasn't keeping my hand near Black Betty just in case things go pear-shaped on us. This Blitz character seemed like he was on the level, and Twilight apparently knew his daughter, but it pays to be paranoid in my line of work. That's also why was careful to take a mental map on our route. It was painfully easy, though, since Blitz led us in a straight line towards the center of camp.
“So, who are all these people?” I asked as we walked down a row of tents. The few locals in our way quickly gave us room.
“Missionaries,” Blitz replied. “They belong to a group called the Circle of Elwydd.”
And of course, Twilight knew who these guys were. “The Circle of Elwydd? I thought they disbanded a thousand years ago.”
Blitz just shrugged. “Don't look at me. I'm just the hired help. Stonewall could talk your ears off about the group's history. All I know is that anyone who wants to join is welcome to, including changelings.”
We passed by a pair of changelings just as he said that. They politely bowed at Wisp and Wasp before continuing on their way. Through the binoculars they didn't seem that remarkable, but up close I could tell that they were radically different from my charges. Instead of manes, they had fins, and their eyes were more bug-like.
“Now I remember where I heard of the Circle from,” Wisp said. “You helped a few changelings flee Equestria after the failed invasion.”
“What?” Twilight asked incredulously as she shot an accusatory glare at Blitz. “The Circle helped fugitives escape from justice?”
“Of course not!” Blitz interjected angrily. “Not all changelings were part of the invasion. Many were just living normal lives and would've continued to do so. They just wanted to get out until the anti-changeling hysteria cooled down a bit. And before you even think about disparaging them, I will not tolerate it. I don't care if you're Dashie's friend or not.”
Twilight opened her mouth to say something, but wisely shut it.
“You seem oddly invested in their well being,” I commented off-hand.
“My wife's a changeling.”
Ladies and gentlemen, it is official. A unicorn going completely bugfuck is the funniest thing in the universe.
“What!?” Twilight exclaimed. I wanted to add my own question to hers, but I was too busy stifling my laughter. I wasn't the only one, either. Wisp and Wasp looked ready to join me.
For his part, though, Blitz just put on a smug grin. “That's right, my little Dashie, your friend, is technically half changeling.”
Twilight stared at him with wide-eyed fascination. “How is that possible?”
“Don't ask me, my wife's the brains of the family,” he replied. “Hell, ask the Prince and Princess here if you really need to know, but it'll have to wait. We're here.”
He had led us to what is, without a doubt, the biggest tent I have ever seen. I shit you not, the blasted thing looked like it had two stories. If that thing had a jacuzzi, I'd be jealous.
Blitz held open a flap and bade us to enter. I stepped through the doorway first, while Twilight, Wisp, and Wasp followed. Blitz, however, stayed behind, only sparing us a glance as he closed the flap.
While not lavish, the interior was well decorated. Silken tapestries hung from the rafters (the place was only one story, as it turned out), and an oriental-style rug covered the sandy floor. There was a hint of incense on the air, and it was having a calming effect on me. Not enough for me to drop my guard, but just enough that I would think first before I start blasting.
Seated at the center of the tent at a large mahogany desk was an absolutely ginormous minotaur. He looked like someone crossed a bull with Arnold Schwarzenegger. I'm talking Ahnold back in his Mr Universe days. He had off white fur, and wore a brown robe.
The minotaur looked up from the book he was reading, and his yellow eyes widened slightly. “Well well well,” he said in a voice reminiscent of Morgan Freeman's. “This is indeed a strange day, for unless my eyes deceive me, a human just walked into my tent.”
Ok, I was not expecting that. “You know what I am?”
“But of course,” the minotaur chuckled. “Even though it has been many millennia since your kind has walked our world, the legends still exist.”
“Wait wait wait,” Twilight interjected. “I haven't read a single one of these legends, and I'm one of the most well-read ponies in Equestria.” Modesty, thy name is Twilight.
The minotaur chuckled. “I am not surprised, little pony. Many nobles of Equestria have tried to quash all knowledge of humanity, even going against the Princesses' wishes in order to do so. Now, anyone who tries to study the old stories are simply labeled as 'nutjobs'.
“However, outside of Equestria's borders, the legends are still told. Why, in my homeland, it is said that the first minotaur was born when a human and a bull had a child. It's part of our creation myth, as it were.”
Well, that's an odd (and disturbing) bit of parallelism. The Greek myth is a little different, but that's not important.
“Elder Stonewall, I presume,” I said in an attempt to get back on topic.
“Ah, yes, that is I. Please pardon my manners,” he replied. “Now, who are you and why have you come to our camp?”
All fair questions. Might as well be polite. “Name's James Clark, with me are Wisp, Wasp, and Twilight Sparkle. I can't tell you our destination, but we were driven off our train by Sikskysher bandits.”
He furrowed his brow. “Sikskysher, you say? If what you say is true, you have made a powerful enemy.”
“Why would the Griffon King want to kill us, though?” Twilight asked.
Stonewall barked out a laugh that shook the walls of the tent. “Oh, you've heard that rumor. While it is true that the Sikskysher take payment from the Griffon King, his authority over them stops at the border to his territory. No, you face a far more deadly foe.”
The Elder stood up. Now, I know I already said this guy was ginormous, but I think I understated that a little. Motherfucker was HUGE! He had to be at least eight feet tall, and I'm sure I underestimated that number.
Yeah, I was intimidated. Sue me.
Stonewall turned and strode over towards a nearby cabinet. I could've sworn that he shook the ground as he walked, but Twilight later told me that I imagined it. The minotaur opened the cabinet, and retrieved a wine bottle and five glasses.
He returned to his seat, and poured each of us a glass of red wine. “Tell me, what do you know of Rakka?”
Feeling the need for a little dutch courage, I snagged my glass and took a swig. I know it wasn't gin, but beggars couldn't be choosers. It was a good wine. A little fruity with grassy undertones, but a little on the sweet side.
While I was enjoying my glass, Twilight answered the question. “Not much, really. There's very little written about the Old Gods, and even less about Rakka. What little I do know was told to me by Princess Celestia.”
“That is understandable,” Stonewall rumbled. “Rakka is a powerful entity, whose sphere of influence include chaos, destruction, and war. He is also the god that the Sikskysher pray to.”
Ah, religious extremists. I've danced this tune before. “So why're they after us?” I asked.
The Elder smiled like the cat who ate the canary. “Why, the peace treaty of course.”
“How do you know about that?” Twilight yelled. “That's supposed to be top secret until a formal agreement is made!”
Stonewall just continued to grin. “I have my ways, as do the Sikskysher. But unlike them, I intend to help you. Barb!”
The tent flap opened, and in stepped something I was not expecting to see. An honest-to-god dragon! It was a little smaller than I expected, about a head shorter than me in fact. Its scales were a rich sapphire hue, and a ridge of spines ran down its back, stopping just past a pair of leathery wings.
"This is my assistant, Barbara," Stonewall said in introduction. "She has a direct line to Princess Luna. If you wish, I could send her a message."
Wow, convenient. Maybe a little too convenient. "And how do we know you're telling the truth about that? Why would you even be so generous?" Ok, I may be a little paranoid here. The looks Twilight and Wisp shot my way indicated that they thought so as well. That, and I was looking a gift horse in the mouth.
Stonewall wasn't phased a bit, though. "Simply put, peace between Equestria and the Changeling Hive is in my interest," he said. "The animosity between ponies and changelings, if left unchecked, could lead to needless death and destruction. Elwydd herself wants nothing more than for all sentient life to coexist peacefully, and I, as Her humble servant, wish for nothing more than to see that happen. Having the Hive and Equestria bury their differences is but one step in that process."
Ok, this guy seemed genuine. Was there any doubt? Hell yes there was. This wouldn't have been the first time, nor would it have been the last that some charismatic bastard played me like a fiddle. But if I kept looking for an ulterior motive behind everyone's motives, I'd never get anything done.
Besides, who better tto put a little faith in than a preacher.
"Alright, what do we tell her?"
Stonewall smiled warmly. "Barb, take a letter." The dragoness pulled out a quill and scroll from... somewhere. I didn't see where her hands went. "Ms Sparkle, would you care to do the honors?"
Twilight blinked, surprised at being singled out like that. After a moment, she smiled and cleared her throat.
Dear Princess Luna;
This is Twilight Sparkle writing to you with a progress report. Despite my earlier misgivings, negotiations with the changeling representatives have gone well, but unfortunately have hit a bit of a snag. I had planned to bring Princess Wisp and her brother, Prince Wasp, to Canterlot so that further progress could be made. However, on the train ride to Appleloosa, we were waylaid by Sikskysher bandits.
However, thanks to the efforts of the bodyguard hired by the changeling Queen, we survived the encounter, but were forced to abandon the train. After traveling through the desert, we ran into a Circle of Elwydd encampment at an oasis, and have met with Elder Stonewall. He has kindly offered his aid, and we have put our faith in him If you have any further advice, please write back.
Yours Truly:
Twilight Sparkle.
P.S.- Tell Princess Celestia that I may have a report for her when I return.
"Alright, got it," Barb said in a scratchy, though still feminine voice. "Anything I should tack on before sending it?"
"Yes actually, Stonewall piped in. "Include our location. It occurs to me that she may need that bit of information."
Nodding, the dragoness scratched a few more lines into the scroll before rolling it up and breathing blue fire onto it. Now, Twilight had said that her dragon assistant could send letters that way, but it was still something that had to be seen to believe. The scroll disappeared in a puff of blue smoke, which then flew out the tent.
"Now, while we are waiting, mind telling just how you managed to get a direct line to the princess?" I asked. In retrospect, I probably should've asked this before sending a letter.
"A fair question, and one with a simple answer," Stonewall replied. "Princess Luna is one of our groups' financial backers. You see, she was a founding member of the Circle, and she has watched over us ever since. She lent me Barbara's services so she could keep in touch."
I had another question, but before I could speak up, Barb let out the most epic belch of all time, complete with its own pyrotechnics display. Her sapphire flames coalesced into another rolled up scroll, this one sealed with a ribbon adorned with a crescent moon. She grabbed the letter with one hand and held it out for Twilight.
Twilight took hold of the letter in her telekinesis, unrolled it, and began to read.
Dear Twilight Sparkle;
When my sister and I received news that your train was attacked and that you had not reached Appleloosa, we feared the worst. I am most pleased that you have run into Elder Stonewall. He is a trusted friend, and a valuable ally. I ask that you place your trust in him.
Now, I believe that the time for stealth is long past. I have dispatched a detachment of Royal Guards with chariots to your location. They should arrive by mid-morning at the latest. They will fly you and your companions back to Ponyville where you will await further instructions.
Please, give my regards to the changeling representatives. Hopefully, a formal peace can be reached soon.
Yours Truly:
Princess Luna
"It's definitely Princess Luna's horn-writing," Twilight stated.
"I wish I could join you in Canterlot," Stonewall said. "I'd love nothing more than to see the looks on the Princesses faces when a human walks into the throne room." Well, at least he didn't seem to care too much about us doubting him. "But, until your chariot arrives, please, avail yourselves to our hospitality. You have traveled far, and are undoubtedly weary. We have plenty of food and drink, as well as comfortable places to sleep."
Well aint that the most god damned convenient thing I ever did see. I couldn't have kept the grin off my face if I tried. "Much appreciated," I said, before turning to the others. "So, who else is hungry? I could use some warm chow."
"Actually..." Twilight said as she looked up to Stonewall, "if it's not too much trouble, could you answer a few questions I have about the Circle?"
Stonewall smiled at her. "I would be honored."
"Whelp, Twilight's out. What about you two?" I asked Wisp and Wasp.
Wisp yawned. "Sorry, but I think I'll just find a nice bed," she said, before turning and walking out of the tent.
"I'd better go with her," Wasp added as he followed her out. "Just to make sure the bed she ends up in isn't already occupied."
As I turned to leave as well, I thought of one more question I needed to ask. "How well protected is this camp?"
"We're not invulnerable, but we are relatively safe," Stonewall replied. "Our sentries will give plenty of warning should we come under attack."
With that fear allayed, it was time for dinner.
The chow hall was near Stonewall's tent, and I found it easily enough. The line wasn't long, and I got served quickly. The available fair wasn't the most appetizing, but it was no worse than what I got in Iraq. At least they had meat. I was getting worried about that.
As I left the line, I saw a familiar pegasus sitting at a table. Feeling like having company tonight, I moved over to sit with him.
"Hey, this seat taken?" I asked.
"Huh?" Blitz replied as he looked up to see me. "Oh, nah. C'mon big guy, I could use some company."
I sat down across the table from him and promptly began to chow down. Blitz didn't seem weirded out by my food choice, so either he didn't realize that I was eating meat, or it wasn't as big a deal as I thought it would be. Seeing as there were griffons a few tables over eating what appeared to be pork chops, I suspected the latter.
"So what's your story?" Blitz asked me. "How'd you become a merc?"
I just barely contained a growl. "First of all, I'm a civilian contractor, not a merc. Secondly, there's really not much to it. Former military; United States Marine Corp. I signed up with my firm after my contract was up. Been traveling the world acting like a heavily armed Rent-A-Cop since. This is definitely my most interesting job, though. What about you?"
"Eh, pretty much the same. Was a Royal Guard for a while, then met a nice filly. Didn't know she was a changeling until after I proposed to her."
"Must've been a real shock," I commented with a smirk.
"Yeah, but I did end up marrying her. Things haven't been perfect, but we've made things work. Anyways, after I married her I retired from the Guard and joined up with the Cloudsdale Police. Boring job, but it paid well. I needed it when my little filly was born."
"I've been meaning to ask about that. How?"
Blitz just shrugged. "Don't look at me. Prisma tried to explain, but science was never my strong suit. You'd be better off asking those Royals you're travelling with."
Our conversation was then interrupted by a blast from a horn. Blitz's eyes widened in shock. "That's the alert signal. We've got incoming hostiles."
Son of a bitch, and things were starting to look up. Fuck you, Murphey.
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shaunthebartender.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/its-alive.jpg
It's Alive!
Left 4 Dead 2 reference at the beginning. Oh Keith.
Booya.
I always found it interesting that your version of Changelings practiced commensalism rather then parasitism.
So does Rakka = Discord? Are we dealing with Discordists here?
Persistent bastards, aren't they?
I'm looking forward to more of this. And James, are you ever going to accept that Wisp may be into you?
Not sure if reference but "One time me and my buddy, Keith...."
"Overpowered Unicorns", Inorite?
Dashie is half changeling, I actually like that.
LAHL AHNOLD!
F'ing great chapter, like how Blitz is in this, can't wait for more. Keep up the good work!
I NEED MORE STORY, DAMN IT! I NEED MORE!
Please, for the love of Luna, keep writing. I have been waiting too damn long for this chapter. I love this story and I want more. I really like how you portray Clark. He sounds and acts just like a Marine!
Keep up the good work, and PLEASE write more.
Yippee! thank you so much for continuing this.
Yes! I was hoping this would update soon!
GODDAMN, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!
Will you get out of my head?
Got the feeling he's gonna succumb to her charms, and not feel even slightly guilty.
He'll be too busy keeping Wasp from killing him.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seems like you rushed to get this out. A few un-closed quotes, and I know Murphy was real Irish, not that invented white trash "Murphey".
And it's "Corps", not "Corp". One means Marines; the other is the second-to-lowest liked rank in the Army. Right after Sergeants.
Still good and rock-solid, though.
Incoming!
3.bp.blogspot.com/_UdpF-dfprjM/TDdhK8Gew9I/AAAAAAAAAIg/sioxN5oEG3Q/s1600/zoidberg_hooray.gif
HIRED GUN UPDATE!
IT LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES
Ellis is now the best time...
Also MINECRAFT TALKIN BOUT MINECRAFT TALKIN BOUT MIIINECRAFT TALKIN BOUT MIIIEEEENCRAFT.....
Yeah! i was palying MC with the Mine Little Pony mod on a world i called: Mine Little Pony: DAM (Diamonds Are Magic) before i came on here...
Ohmigod you finally updated this!
Annoying squees aside, this is one of the first few fanfics I read. I'm really glad to see it's still breathing.
Good God almighty where the hell have you been? I've been thinking you've been dead or just said 'fuck it' and abandoned us poor readers. I just hope there's more coming real soon after this.
does this mean that you will be updating regularly now?
2381234
It's the hands, fillies just go gaga over the hands.
Yay! I only just found this story a short time ago, and I didn't have much hope for an update, considering the last one's date.
But here you are! And the story's just as fantastic as always.
THE STORY LIVES!!!
and things are sure taking sudden turns now.
HOLY SHIT AN UPDATE!
2 On a Cross and Arrow references?
Great and Here I had this nice casket all picked out for this fic... I guess I can just use it for On the wings of an Angle. wink
This is the first time I've seen warrior in Equestria done well. The main character is written with enough detail to make him believeable, the crossover point didn't strain credibility, and the two violent scenes both added to the story.
Uh-oh! Guess what word youuuuuuu used!
>Seated at the center of the tent at a large mahogany desk>
Now you must be subjected to:
Hmm, perhaps upon fertilization of the ovum, the changeling chromosomes are capable of rearranging their number and gene arrangement such that they are able to attain sufficient homology to the chromosomes of certain other species, allowing for normal mitosis of the resulting zygote.
How they cope with the differences in developmental pathways and signal cascades, I cannot being to guess without being able to analyze and sequence the changeling DNA.
So, my buddy Keith and I, we were hanging out at the farm. You know, all calm like, and then WHAM we got referenced again.
Leave a like for Wisp to get her teddy... wait. This isn't Youtube, GET HER A TEDDY!!!
Pretty happy to see this update. Since so little is known about them from the show, changelings give remarkable opportunity for race and worldbuilding. Warm changelings, huh? Well I guess they're not reptiles, so that makes sense. Actually, come to think of it they'd probably be more like ants, with exoskelletons and all.
>Chapter 5: Finagle's Law · 29th Oct 2012
>Chapter 6: Stories · 5th Apr 2013
>29th Oct 2012
>5th Apr 2013
2381304WHAT SHE SAID
James better meet Stonewall again in the future.
Rainbow Dash is half-changeling by family if what 2381981 has validity. Head-canon is now adopted.
Oh and f*** Murphy.
Minecraft? did you say Minecraft? MIIIIINECRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFT! MIIIINECRAAAAAAAAFT! MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINECRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFT! *runs out into the hills screaming minecraft*
Missing sentence end.
*Murphy
Well, this is the most interesting group I have ever heard of in an MLP extended universe. What a surprise, running into a bunch of lunatics in the desert of all places.
This was definitely worth the
gabenwait.Perhaps Changeling transformations include a very accurate simulation of, erm, internal biology as well. It's also possible that RD has only one X chromosome. It's also possible that...
Damn overpowered talking magic horseys.
"I like the use of Kieth...
Ah too have a friend named Kieth. Wanna hear about him?"
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsxachzlRz1qbkprxo1_500.jpg
Two things stuck out:
ascent != assent (in the same way that climbing != agreement), and
Fare*
Now, if you don't update OtWoA within 24 hours of this post, I hope you find yourself trapped within "Cupcakes"
Nice to see this story finally gets an update ^_^
This story received about five likes, including mine, from the time I stared reading the first chapter to now. That's how you know a great story.
"my buddy Keith"
can we get more stories with Keith
You should stop playing Minecraft bro. I lost my social life to it.
By building a nazi underground bunker.
Good stuff, and happy to see it update!
Um, wasn't rainbows dad in that episode purple, not blue?
2382753 Oh i see what you did there! I read that line as well and thought: "Have I ever told you about the time my buddy Keith and I where on top of a burning building, and we had to fight our way down like 5 floors of zombies?"
I hate escort missions ...
I need to see Rainbow's face when Twilight asks her about her mother.
"One time, the army bombed my buddy Kieth."
Wow, I almost forgot what this story was about. Long time.
I take it you've read Past Sins (Stonewall) and seen Trotsworth's works on DeviantART (Rainbow Blitz and Barbara), right?
FUCK YEAH!!!
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2383152
I checked the Wiki before saying what color he was..