Chapter 2: The Merc and the Ponies
I don't know how long I was standing there with my jaw open before one of the locals decided to approach me. This one was a somewhat normal color at least, being a light tan with a blonde mane and tail. I assumed it was a stallion. Is that the proper term? Do pastel colored ponies use the same terms as humans? I'll get that answer later, this guy looks like he's about to say something.
"Howdy stranger!" he said in a gruff voice, confirming his gender. He stood at a little over four feet tall, and was wearing a stetson on his head. On his flank was the image of an old-timey sheriff's badge. "Welcome to Land's End. Mah name's Bronze Star, and ah'm the Sheriff of this here town." At least they talk normal around these parts. If I'm not careful, I'll slip into a Texas accent here.
"Greetings sir," I said, laying it on a little thick. "If it's not too much trouble, could you point me to the nearest hat store and the End of the World?"
I wanted to call shenanigans when Star started rubbing his chin with his hoof. I may have failed biology, but I know that an equine's foreleg is not that limber. Then again, I also know that they can't talk, so who am I to argue?
"Well, the tavern's just down the street there," he said, pointing in that direction. Sure enough, in big, neon letters (my anachronism senses are tingling) was a sign indicating the tavern in question. "As for a hat, the general store just five doors down from here should have something in your size."
"Thank you. Have a good day, sir." With that, I was off.
Walking down the main drag was a surreal experience to say the least. From the wood and brick construction work and dirt roads, it looked like I had stepped into the middle of a Western. If it weren't for the ponies, I wouldn't have been surprised if Ben Cartwright came walking up to me. I was so engrossed in the scenery that I didn't notice at first that ponies were not the only ones walking around. Across the street, I saw a pegasus chatting with a pair of griffons. Seriously, real live griffons out of mythology! I also saw something that looked like a cross between a pitbull and a gorilla walking down the middle of the street.
Before long, I found myself standing in front of the general store. It was a one story mud-brick building with a swinging door and a large window, through which I could see a whole mess of hats. One of them definitely looked like it would fit me. I strolled in like I owned the place and grabbed the hat out of the window display. Trying it on, it felt like it was custom-made for my head. Untying the money-pouch from my belt, I approached the clerk, a bored looking, yellow-coated unicorn mare who seemed to be completely focused on filing her hooves. I filed away the fact that she seemed to be levitating the file in a pale yellow aura for later.
"How much?" I inquired.
"Twelve bits," she replied, turning to face me. When she got a good look at me, she gasped and the file dropped as the aura around it disappeared. I tried, and failed, to not look smug at her reaction, and set twelve coins down on the counter. The mare levitated them and dropped the coins into the till.
"W-w-will that be all, s-sir?"
"Yes, thank you." Feeling like I'd traumatized her enough, I promptly walked out of the store and headed for the tavern. Despite how cool I'd been acting, dealing with talking ponies definitely made me feel like having a drink.
"So, where is this mercenary your Queen was supposed to hire?" asked the lavender mare. Twilight Sparkle was in Land's End in a seedy tavern on the personal request of Princess Celestia, even though she'd rather be anywhere else. The reason for her trepidation was the two ponies sitting across the table from her, if you could call them ponies in the first place. Underneath their fuzzy exterior was a black, chitinous exoskeleton.
"He'll be here," the male said. Going by the name Wasp, he was disguised as a red, blue-maned unicorn stallion. His job was to protect his sister, Princess Wisp, the current heir to the changeling throne and envoy to Equestria.
"How will we recognize him?" asked Twilight. "Did she say what he'd look like?"
"No, not exactly," replied Wisp. Disguised as a cornflower-blue pegasus, her luxurious, silver mane reminded Twilight of her friend Rarity. "All mom told us was that his name was Mr. Clark, and that we'd know when we saw him."
Grumbling to herself, it took all her willpower for Twilight to not slam her face into the table. It was bad enough that she had to meet with changelings, but now their Queen was being cryptic? This was the last thing she needed. Just the prospect of meeting with changelings was bad enough. No matter how curious she was about them, Twilight could not find it in herself to completely forgive them for foalnapping Cadence, brainwashing her big brother, and invading Canterlot. Sure, that happened under the old Queen, but it was the principle of the matter.
Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the door open violently, slamming against the wall. Grumbling, Twilight turned around, ready to berate the careless pony. She didn't get a chance, as her jaw nearly met the floor upon seeing the new arrival.
It was bipedal, and stood straight and tall, about as tall as Princess Celestia minus her horn. It was dressed in what appeared to be armor, but not made of any metal she was familiar with. She doubted it was metal at all. It also wore a large, leather duster, and on its head was a new Stetson. It appeared hairless, save for eyebrows, a scraggly beard, and brown hair under the hat, and its face was scarred.
Wasp chose that moment to speak up. "I think that's our guy."
Damnit! I opened that door way too hard. Now everyone's staring at me, and it was bad enough walking down the street. That damn door ruined even the remotest possibility of stealth.
Shrugging to myself, I strolled on over to the bar and sat down. The bar was like any you'd find in an old western, complete with big-ass mirror, and only slightly lower than what I was used to. It was far from uncomfortable to sit down. The bartender, a unicorn stallion whose coat was a rich golden color, gave one look at me, and just huffed.
"What cannae git ye?" he asked, in what sounded like a Scottish accent.
"Tequila, straight." The accent is just another on the pile of shit I'll figure out later.
The unicorn grunted, and levitated an unlabeled bottle filled with a clear liquid. He poured me a shot, which I quickly tossed back. "Another." The stallion grunted again, and poured me another shot.
I have to be careful. For some reason tequila, unlike any other spirit, goes straight to my brain. Two shots is all I can usually handle without going, to use a clinical term, "bat-shit crazy." I learned that the hard way in Kalamazoo.
"Excuse me, sir," called out a feminine voice to my right before I could finish my drink. Turning, I saw that it was a lavender unicorn mare, with an indigo mane and tail that had a violet and pink stripe running through it. Her flank had a pink starburst surrounded by five white stars. "Are you Mr. Clark?"
"That depends. Who wants to know?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, that was rude of me. I'm Twilight Sparkle, personal student of Princess Celestia." At this point I began to wonder if all ponies had such strange names. "My, er, 'friends' and I were told to wait for a Mr. Clark about escorting us to Canterlot."
"Ah, yes, that'd be me then." I wanted to be a jackass right here, but decided against it. I wanted answers, and doubted I'd get any by being rude. Besides, the smile on her face was worth it.
"Great! Would you mind coming over to our table so we can discuss the details?"
"Sure thing, kid. Just let me finish my drink." I went to grab my glass, and froze.
Ever wonder why old-time saloons had large mirrors? It was a way to tell everyone that the owner was rich as balls. You see, mirrors back in the day were fucking expensive. That's also where the belief that breaking a mirror would bring seven years of bad luck came from.
Why am I going off on that non-sequiter? Because, thanks to this bar's mirror, I managed to spot one of those dog-apes sneaking up behind me, wearing a red vest and carrying a long, wicked knife in its paw. As it approached, it raised the knife high. My armor was rated to stop a knife, but I didn't want to take a chance.
In one swift motion, I reached for my holdout, drew it, and spun around, The canine's eyes widened in shock as it stared down the barrel of my weapon, before I pulled the trigger twice. Two sharp cracks split the air, as two bullets pierced the dog's skull. The creature dropped like a sack of potatoes.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Twilight's jaw drop, and I could hear gasps from the other patrons. Soon after I heard galloping outside, and Sheriff Bronze Star barged into the tavern.
"Alright, what happened here? What's all the ruckus?"
Before I could get a word in edgewise, the bartender spoke up. "Ach, Sheriff, this diamond dog tried to knife this fine stallion here," he said, waving a hoof at me. "But he dinnae count on his intended victim to defend himself."
"Is that true, ma'am?" he asked, casting a suspicious glance at Twilight.
"Er, y-yes sir." she said. " I-it was s-self defense."
Bronze Star simply snorted. "Very well, then. Ah'll take the body away then." He turned to face me. "Ah'll also need you to come by mah office. Just a formality."
"I have business to take care of first, but I'll be along shortly." With that, Bronze Star grabbed the diamond dog by the collar of its vest and dragged it out.
"Thanks for that," I said to the bartender.
"Nae problem, lad. I jest told the truth. Besides, I should be thanking ye. The little blighter's been givin' me trouble fer weeks."
With the threat dealt with, I slipped my .22 back into its holster, and tossed back my drink. "So, with that interuption dealt with, could we meet with your friends?" I asked Twilight, shooting her a confident smile.
"Y-yes! This way please." She turned and walked shakily over to a table with two other ponies, a unicorn and pegasus, and sat down. I definitely traumatized the poor mare. She looks like the bookworm type. Hell, this is probably the first time she's seen anything die.
Oh well, not my problem.
Stats
Page generated in 0.032 seconds
Total duration
1,074 users online
1,930,815 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Special thanks to Totalynotabrony for pre-reading.
Yes it's here! *starts reading*
Time to read!
Woo! It's here! Sounds interesting Gyvon.
=^.^=b <-- the highly coveted 'Otter Thumbs Up'.
Haha, this is your first non-crossover? It still feels pretty crossover-ish to me!
Anyways, you get a big ole read later sticker. Congrats, you're number 8 on the list.
I will return.
One day.
media.comicvine.com/uploads/5/52044/2060390-i_like_it.jpg
1256174
ANOTHER!
Pretty good, overall.
His first instinct WAS partially right, considering there's a place in Africa called Equestria... ( http://goo.gl/maps/KcL6x )
A six shot revolver chambered in .500 S&W would be goddamn HUGE, considering that the Model 500 takes 5 shots and is already a hand cannon.
1256087 Otters have thumbs?
(Sorry, I couldn't resist)
1256302
Hence why getting an Otter Thumbs Up is so rare and coveted!
While I'd agree anything chambering the .500 S&W might be overkill, remember there are manticores on the way to Canterlot. The way this seems to be going, the Everfree is on the itinerary. Unplanned, of course.
Mr. Clark, eh? I think Fallout and Tom Clancy are about to have a long, heart-felt ... conversation. Yeah, that's the ticket.
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0fjbjfLiI1rqfhi2o1_500.gif
hmm wondering if i should read already have 17 other stories to read hmm only 5k words might as well
In the world of self defense and firearms, no handgun is overkill, many large caliber side-arms where designed with bear hunting defense in mind, but not all. The Desert Eagle was made for shooting out engine blocks originally. Just some examples of why big ass bullets in handguns actually makes sense.
It was a decent beginning, but while fending off an assassination attempt does provide action and sets the mood/tone of the moment (as well as the reputation of the protaganist) the fact of the matter is that it didn't make any sense really for the diamond dog to attack him. Other than profit, there wasn't a lot of gain to be had, and it was in front of a TON of witnesses, with the sheriff apparently in town. Now if the human had done something to Piss Off the diamond dog, it would be a different.
I like it, but I think Gyvon needs to make sure things don't stretch the sense of disbelief. Unless of course, the Diamond Dog was hired by Chrysalis and the author is a whole lot more savvy then I realized. If so, carry on, author, carry on.
Moare
Interesting, though I have to echo the hope that there is more of a story behind the diamond dog attack.
Aww. He sould've disarmed the mutt, steal his knife and shiv him with it. That would've been cooler.
Also he would've acquired a knife, and have two more bullets than he does now.
1256435
In this particular case, it doesn't need to really make sense. Because, at it's heart, despite the Fallout references, despite the ponies, this is a spaghetti western.
Speaking of...
Just curious but how much ammo does he have on him? Something tells me he is going to go though it like nothing in a short amount of time.
1256782
I thought I made that clear in the first chapter.
Edit: I did. 18 + 17 in the holdout (minus two in a diamond dog skull)
I loik it.
Liking the logical progression of plot; this could turn out to be an excellent adventure if you play your cards right.
This is looking very, very promising. Here, have a favorite.
Twilight seems relatively unshaken by seeing someone meet a violent bloody end right in front of her.
Needed more reaction.
less than an hour in equestria, and he's planted two .22 rounds in a Diamond Dog.
...I like this guy
Good job on this story. I like where this is going
i877.photobucket.com/albums/ab336/Brdleysmth/Moar_bear.jpg
1256729
I suppose you are right. I'm not that familiar with westerns myself, other than The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly (which is an awesome movie). Now that I think about it, this being a Western, what he did was perfectly believable. But seeing as he is going to be leaving that setting soon to go to Canterlot, I think it might be more akin the Texas Ranger style persona. Or is that persona already considered "western?"
Just Twahlaht? Some random militaryish guy as the main character? Hoping there isn't unending combat or this'll get old fast.
A badass start to the story if i do say so myself.
1257080
If The Man with No Mane goes to Canterlot, I somehow see it turning out kind of like the relevant scenes from a Fistful of Dollars. Or possibly The Good, The Bad, and The Weird (not really a spaghetti western, but still good).
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7w9seTtUV1qba0oy.gif
mlkshk.com/r/D9N
Very nice. A human portrayed as a bad-ass for once. He should have taken the diamond dogs knife though, or bought one with his supply of money.
Nice work. Our good Mr. Clarke seems like an interesting character, and I loved how he introduced himself to Twilight.
It looks like this is going to be a whole lot of fun.
That diamond dog was too hot headed thinking he could take Clarke on. At least now his brain has cooling vents.
XD
I'm impressed. Can't wait for more.
Typo I noticed: "She loks like the bookworm type"
This is... Surprisingly good. I thought I wouldn't like it, but I feel that this has plenty of potential. One favourite for you.
Amazing so far. I salute you on youre imagintation. also, if you need any help with the story, just send me a pm and I'll see what I can do.
Very good! Amazing imagination!
Good job with the editing, I was only able to spot one error:
' opening dialogue instead of a "
1257416
Everyone and their mother has tried to portray their human character as a bad-ass on this site. There are a lot of Soldier in Equestria fics, and unfortunately, only a few decent ones.
1256397
1256191 Why the .50? WHY NOT???
1257788>>1257218
I swear, it's the keyboard. I'm not used to using a laptop.
Should be fixed.
1256223
*Throws mouse onto floor*
Shit, I didn't mean to do that!
Holy Shit, That's Awesome!
MOAR!!
I'll be damned, you done told a darn good yarn there, son.
Sure is nice 'ta see a fellow Texan 'round here.
I'm lookin' forward to seein' this feller continue his mission.
By Terra's emerald mane....
I must have more..
MOAR