Stallions on Strike!

by Aegis Shield


Derpy's Delight

Stallions on Strike
Part 9: Derpy’s Delight

“What do YOU want?” Lyra scowled as Bon Bon approached. She lowered her sign a little, stopping her rebellious picketing to talk with her.

The curly-maned mare sniffled pathetically at her angry life-partner, a little box in her teeth. She leaned, setting it at Lyra’s hooves. “P… Peace offering?” she said quietly, nosing it towards her. Lyra’s horn glowed, and the ribbon came undone. It was a little tray of nine sweet rolls, her favorite. “Can we talk, honey?” Bon Bon asked in a small voice.

“…kay.” said Lyra after some careful thought. The two of them went to a nearby park bench on the edge of the tent city of the S.o.S. They sat in silence, Bon Bon in the normal way and Lyra in her strange upright way. There were patrolling stallions holding angry signs and preventing intruders, peering back and forth like they were expecting to be invaded. More than a couple of guards were nearby in case anything got ugly. Arguments between mares and stallions were growing more common, and more than one arrest had been made in the past couple of days. Lyra waited for Bon Bon to speak, and Bon Bon refused to speak until Lyra had at least taken a bite of one of the sweet rolls.

“I’ve been really worried about you, sweetheart.” Bon Bon mumbled at the ground, her ears turned back. “Really really worried.”

“I’m a grown mare, I can take care of myself.” Lyra said grouchily, setting down her protest sign to focus on the sweet rolls and the words being spoken. “You never trust me to take care of myself, that’s why I’m out here. You think you know what’s best for me, like you’re my mother instead of my lover.”

“I care a lot about what happens to you!” Bon Bon said, soft-eyed when she looked over at her. “I know I seem pushy and controlling but… but I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. I don’t know what I would do if I came home one day and you weren’t there!”

“Celestia forbid I go out late at night with friends.” Grumbled Lyra, chewing idly and rolling her eyes.

“Celestia forbid I know where you are so I know you’re not lying in a gutter somewhere!” Bon Bon whimpered, coming close and putting a hoof on Lyra’s chest. Lyra looked at her frownily. Bon Bon took a few deep breaths. Hopefully Lyra wouldn’t move until the sweet rolls were gone. They were her favorite after all. “I-I just worry, Lyra, I worry so much…” she said softly, leaning against her beloved.

“Why? I can take care of myself.” Lyra said, her face betraying concern. Bon Bon wasn’t usually so shifty… was she trembling? Why was she trembling? “What is it, Bon Bon?” she whispered after a time. “What do you think you’re protecting me from?” she flicked her tail a little, shifting to pull her lover into her lap just a little.

Bon Bon wouldn’t meet her eyes for a long time. “I… something… something bad happened to me once, when I went out late with some friends.” She whispered quietly, hanging her head. Lyra’s eyes widened a little. Did she mean…? “I was going home from a club in lower Canterlot… it was late at night, I’d gone out with some friends and we all went home our separate ways.” she said, hiding her head under Lyra’s chin. “I never even saw his face. He dragged me into an alley and… and…” she began to quiver softly, then suddenly broke into sobs.

“Oh Bon Bon…” Lyra’s expression quietly shifted over to one of sadness and pity. “You never told me about that!” she pulled her close, pushing the little tray of sweet rolls aside to hold her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to know!” Bon Bon blubbered into her breast, clinging to her like a lost foal to its mother. “I didn’t want you to know why I don’t like you going out late at night! Please! Please come home! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorr-ee-hee-heeee!” Lyra began to tear up, burying her muzzle in Bon Bon’s candy-colored mane. “I w-won’t be so controlling anymore! I promise! I’ll do anything you say! Please, please come home!”

“Oh Bon Bon…” Lyra whispered, tears slowly brimming out over her eyelids. They embraced, and cried together. No wonder Bon Bon had been so nervous about Lyra being around so many stallions day in and day out. She was a victim. “Shhh-sh-shhhhh… c’mon, let’s go home. Shhh…” she rocked her back and forth a little, comforting her.

“R-really? You mean it?” Bon Bon looked up at her with big soft eyes.

“I don’t think it’s unfair to talk about a sort of…” Lyra paused, making a circular motion with her hoof as she fished for a word. “’Curfew’, I guess. I don’t have to be out ALL night when I go out with friends. I could make sure to have another early bird come home with me.” She offered, smiling. “That way I’m never alone.” They shared a kiss and another tender hug before leaving. Lyra forgot her protest sign there on the bench. Much tender lovemaking was had that night, and they fell asleep in each other’s arms.


=-----=-----=-----=-----=


Derpy Hooves was quite possibly the happiest mare in all of Equestria. At the end of her mail route, she’d been routed by some males. After delivering the last letter in her bag, she trotted home on the hoof since her wings were tired. It didn’t take long for a few of the S.o.S. to spot her. They pointed, smiled wide, and gave chase. Soon, the grey mare had a line of ten or twelve stallions following her down the street. She stopped, turning and blink-blinking at them. “Hullo?” she asked.

“Hi!” they chorused, waving. When she turned to keep going, they kept following.

“Er, can I help you?” she stopped again to ask.

“We wanna know you more, Derpy!” they told her, coming close with male interest. Derpy blushed a bit, not used to all the attention. “You work so hard, and they say you’re not even in a herd! How did anypony pass up a gem like you?” a dark blue stallion wanted to know.

Derpy blushed, laughing a little. “Oh, w-well it’s always just been me and Dinky. I’ve never really gone for a herd or anything.” She said shyly as the group walked with her. The mailmare’s heart was aflutter. All this male attention, and they all wanted to be around her and hear what she had to say— it was like a dream come true.

“What’s a Dinky?” one stallion asked.

“My daughter. Sort of. She’s a unicorn, but she’s my little muffin.” Derpy sighed, smiling tiredly. She’d had a lover before her accident that had damaged one of her eyes and made it ‘derp’ oddly in one direction— the result of thier romance had been her daughter Dinky Doo. But, he’d not stuck around. Long, sad story, but Derpy was not a mare to sulk and moan about it.

“She’s a single mother?” one of the male herd gasped softly. “Whoever heard of such a thing! That takes a lot of guts, Derpy!” he said, soft-eyed as they went up Derpy’s little walkway and up to her porch. The Pegasus smiled bashfully, hunching a little as she fumbled for her key. There was a sound of little hoofsteps inside, and a tiny grey unicorn filly threw the door open.

“Mommy! Welcome home!” she belted, hopping into the air for hugs. Derpy sat on her haunches, embracing her daughter just like she did every single day.

“That is just darling!” one stallion said in a little mewling voice, leaning into one of his comrades. “She’s so little!” he pointed. The rest of the group leaned to see. Well! She did look a little underfed, though. This would not do. “One side, Derpy!” the group of stallions shoved past Derpy and Dinky, into their house.

“H-hey! What’re you guys doing?!” Derpy called. They were all in her kitchen, poking and prodding around in the fridge, the cupboard, and cabinets. “C-come out of there!” she raced past her daughter as a stallion nosed into the freezer, grumbling at what little he found there.

“Guys, this kitchen is a tragedy!” one stallion harrumphed, slamming the fridge closed. The others nod-nodded at him. Dinky came in, looking around a little fearfully. There were never so many ponies in their home— it was a little scary. “Derpy is such a good mother, and she and her daughter are practically skin and bone!” one of them threw open the pantry door. The shelves were modestly stocked, but it didn’t seem like much to them. “Just lookit this little filly!” one of them tickled Dinky and she squealed, going down on her back and wiggling energetically. “That belly is so flat! You can almost see her ribs!” he said with disapproval. “We gotta fix this right away!” said another. “You’re right, c’mon boys!” with that, the group of stallions filed out of the house and were gone. There was a long silence, mother and daughter just standing there awkwardly.

“Momma, what was all that about?” Dinky asked when she’d recovered from the tickling.

“I… I don’t know, muffin.” Derpy said, hanging up her mailmare’s hat and bag. “Ever since this Stallions on Strike thing started up, more stallions have been talking to me.”

“Well that’s good isn’t it? We’ve never had a stallion around the house before!” Dinky said innocently. Derpy puffed her cheeks a little, her eyes crossing as she tried to keep her mind out of the gutter. The poor mare hadn’t entertained the thought of a husband, much less a herd, in years.

So, she really didn’t expect her front door to slam itself open less than twenty minutes later. The same group of stallions piled in, all weighed down with groceries. “Alright boys, to the kitchen!” They rolled up their proverbial sleeves.

“Wait, what?!” Derpy said worriedly, rushing to see what was going on. But no, she was scooped up by a stallion or three. She and Dinky were taken to the living room and… for lack of a better term, fussed over and loved on. Dinky sat on a stallion’s back as he occupied a whole couch. She climbed back and forth on him as children were wont to do, giggling and laughing. Derpy, meanwhile, was the center of male attention and desire for the first time in her life.

“Derpy, you work soooo hard.” One of them was massaging her forehoof. The grey mare sputtered, red in the cheeks. “And you’re a single mother too, that’ just amaaaazing.” Another stallion gushed, working one of her wings with his teeth. He pulled a broken feather, making Derpy yelp a little, then melt into a putty of relaxation. A third stallion was fussing with the larger muscles of her shoulder blades and back. A crick was found and pressed on until an impressive crackle of bones was heard. “Dinky is so cute, I could just eat her up!” he pulled Dinky up by the scruff of her neck. The filly shrieked with laughter, flailing about. He set her down. “Can you do any magic yet, Dinky?” they wanted to know.

“A liddle, when Mom lets me!” the foal said brightly. “Can I show them Mom, can I?” she asked with big bright eyes. Derpy nodded, still trying to get over the outrageousness of what was happening. “Here I go, watch me!” Dinky pointed her stubby little horn at a vase of flowers sitting on the coffee table. She scrunched her adorable little face into a look of concentration. Her horn sparked and crackled as her magic glowed to life. “Hynnn!” the vase jolted to the left perhaps two inches, wobbled, then jolted back to the right almost exactly where it was.

“Oooooohh!” said the gathered stallions, clapping their hooves enthusiastically. The filly giggled, turning red-faced. “She’s cute AND talented! You’re a lucky mom, huh Miss Doo?” said a stallion, laughing a bit. Derpy nodded proudly.

Another half an hour went by before one of the stallions stuck his head out of the kitchen. “It’s ready!” he called as the others shuffled around the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on things. “Everyone to the table! Wash up, too!” he said, gesturing to the hall bathroom. They’d made dinner? Derpy scratched her head a little embarrassedly. It was one thing for a big group of males to invade her home, fuss over her, encourage her daughter and make them both feel loved… but cook them dinner too? This had to be heaven. Just had to be. After Derpy and Dinky had both washed for dinner, they were allowed into the kitchen again.

It was a strange sight indeed for the Doo household. Ten stallions, Derpy, and Dinky all crammed around their little dining room table. They’d fished the table leaf out of the closet, but it was still pretty crammed. They’d made a green bean casserole, macaroni and cheese, a fruit salad, hash browns, pressed egg-in-a-basket, mashed potatoes slathered with butter, stuffing, corn on the cob, seven different styles of celery crunch surprise, and cranberry sauce. It looked like a hearth’s warming feast! Derpy wondered exactly how they’d conjured all these dishes in just half an hour with her tiny oven. Surely each of those things were cooked at different temperatures to come out well? Or needed to be in the oven for longer or shorter times than one another? Or went cold at different rates if not? It was like magic! How had they done it all in under an hour? Derpy knew better than to question the power of a stallion in a kitchen. There was a cave pony saying that many mares adhered to:

Stallion cook inside with magic box! Oooh!
Mare cook outside with fire! Waagh!

They talked and laughed and ate for hours, well beyond dusk. Dinky learned how to balance a spoon on the end of her muzzle, and every stallion took a turn having the darling little filly on his chair with him. Derpy kept finding extra helpings appearing on her plate when she wasn’t looking, and witnessed the first ever ten-stallion grape-launching contest. Whoever could launch a grape with a spoon catapult from one side of the table to the other, into another stallion’s mouth, was the winner. What did the winner win? Why, the chance to kiss Derpy on the cheek of course! Derpy didn’t quite recall giving her permission to be a prize in a contest, but she wasn’t about to protest. The winning stallion smooched her good while the others applauded, and the grey mare found herself laughing in delight. This ‘Stallions on Strike’ thing was the best thing that had ever happened to her!

“Don’t touch a thing, we made the mess we’ll get it. Where’s my Tupperware? No no, the other one! The big one!” As soon as the meal was over, the tons and tons of leftovers were split up, stuffed into sealable containers, and then put into the fridge. “Most mares can’t cook, it’s alright, we understand.” One of the stallions chuckled, patting Dinky’s head as he spoke. “We should get together and do cooking lessons sometime!”

“I’d like to learn to cook better…” Derpy stroked her chin thoughtfully, her good eye focused on the ceiling. The idea of a stallion teaching her to cook in her own kitchen was really appealing!

“Now you two, we’ve marked everything for expirations dates and such, so don’t eat anything that’s spoiled.” A stocky stallion told them, gesturing to the open freezer. They had stuffed it full of little ready-made meals using all the left overs. Derpy and Dinky would have home-cooked meals for weeks, and they both knew it. Both stared open-mouthed from where they sat at the table. “Welp, we better get outta here. It’s getting late.” one of them said, gesturing. “C’mon boys, time to head out.”

“Awwww!” They chorused, but the one that had spoken last was insistent.

Derpy and Dinky saw the odd herd of stallions to the door, thanking them over and over for their kindness and sudden visit. “Goodbye Derpy! Goodbye Dinky!” As each stallion went by, he pressed a kiss onto Derpy Hooves’ cheek on his way out the door.

Dinky was a pile of giggles by the time the tenth had gone out. The lip-marks all over her mother’s face were hilarious! Suddenly, the little filly leapt to her feet with a gasp. “Why didn’t we keep one?!” Dinky demanded, thrusting an accusing hoof at her mother.

“W-wuh… w-well…” Derpy’s cheeks were red, and her eyes derped out a little further than normal in her embarrassment. She puffed her cheeks out in a great sigh, watching the bachelor herd leave their front yard talking and laughing. Why HADN’T she tried to keep one? “Good question.” Murmured the grey mare to her daughter. “Maybe next time, huh?” she smiled bashfully. Derpy got the vivid image of Dinky lasso-ing a stallion and tying him to her bedpost at night like a pet. She snickered a little.



End of Part 9