Mother knows best?
“Big Mac… You’re a BRONY?”
Big Mac chuckles, then grins and simply answers, “Ee-yup.”
You can’t help it.
You lunge forward, throw your arms out, and *glomph* Big Mac! “I KNEW it!”
Suddenly you release Big Mac, and hold him at arms length. “Wait. If you’re a Brony, then how are you an Apple? And how did you get here?”
Big Mac pats you on the shoulder with his enormous hoof, the sheer weight of it slightly unbalancing you. He smiles reassuringly. “It’s simple. Ah was the first. You are just the newest, and you got lucky.”
“Huh?”
Big Mac’s smile falters a bit, and he sighs. “The only way Equestria has survived is bah colt-nappin Stallions from other dimensions. Namely…” Big Mac pokes you in the chest. “Bronys.”
Your jaw drops.
“Once they’re here a Unicorn will wipe their memories while they’re still gettin used to the area. Then it’s as simple as a lil’ genjutsu to wipe their memories, and that’s all she wrote.”
Big Mac scratches his chin as he ponders.
“Ah think Twi’light teleported you bah herself, and without backup yew got away.”
Big Mac smiles at you. “But, you are here, and you’re welcome to stay.”
You feel something suddenly lean against your side. “He's welcome to use mah bunk..." Applejack says, blushing and looking away.
Applejack suddenly realized what she just said, and jumps away nervously. “Ah!! Ah-Ah didn’t mean it like that! I’d sleep in the barn!”
Applejack uses her hat to cover her face as she stutters out.
“Y-Yeah! That’s what ah meant!”
You barely hear Big Mac mutter. “Right… and nuthin else…”
You bust out laughing. “Guys, guys. It’s fine! I’d just be happy to have a place to sleep! I’ll take the barn.”
Applejack, still blushing slightly smiles at you. “Well thank you ‘Merica! We’ll get you set up more snug than a bug in ah rug!”
Big Mac gently pats you on the shoulder. “Ah’m gonna tell the others about all this, Applejack, I’ll be back soon to see America.” He then locks eyes with Applejack for a second longer than seems necessary… then walks resolutely off toward the Distillery.
Applejack quickly turns back to you, and patting you on your back smiles. “Alright ‘Merica! Let’s get you all set up!”
Something feels a bit… off... but you shake off the feeling and start walking toward the barn.
“So….” Applejack says, “What do yew think of th-” “Shh!” You hush Applejack. “Do you hear something?”
“eee…….”
Applejack’s eyebrows arch in confusion. “What? Ah don’t hear anything!”
“SHH!” You sush Applejack again, and she stops talking. You can just barely make out something...
“eeeeeeee….”
“I think it’s getting louder…”
“EEeeeeEeeeEEE”
Applejack looks up at the barn you’re standing in front of, then looks from side to side. “Now that yew mention it…”
“BWAAAAHHH!”
*BLAAAAAMMO*
You suddenly are slammed into a haystack by a flurry of blue and wings.
“I’ve got you now!”
You spit a bit of straw out of your mouth, and when you open your eyes you are met with two very… Magenta eyes.
“No-pony escapes from Rainbow Dash!” Pronounces the ever confident speedster of the skies, the one and only, Rainbow Dash.
“Rainbow Dash whut in tarnation is-” *WHOOMP* Applejack’s mouth is suddenly filled with blue hoof.
“Sorry AJ! I found him first! He’s mine!” Rainbow Dash says proudly puffing her chest out confidently.
“Huh?”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes suddenly flash down to where your Rainbow Dash hoodie used to be, and her eyes narrow.
“So… you aren’t wearing my mark anymore huh?”
*PHATOOF* “Rainbow! What are yew doing!” Applejack says, spitting Rainbow’s hoof out angrily.
Rainbow’s chest inflates just a little bit more, and she confidently says. “Duh… isn’t it obvious? He’s my stallion.”
“What!?”
“WHAT?!”
Rainbow nervously glances between you and Applejack. “Uh… yeah... He was wearing my mark, so he’s mine.”
“WHAT!!!!!?”
Lying covered in hay, being yelled at by Applejack while being claimed as property by Rainbow Dash… Your mind just… stops.
… “Uhmm”....
With a quick glance at you, Applejack suddenly gets RIGHT up in Rainbow Dash’s face.
“Rainbow! What are yew talking about! He isn’t wearing any mark!” She says, pointing a hoof in your direction.
Rainbow stubbornly crosses her hooves over her chest. “Hey, when I first saw him he already was wearing my mark.”
Applejack’s mouth drops open, then shuts with an audible *click*.
“Rainbow! Ah don’t believe you! Besides, he’s not wearing anything now! Whall, I mean…" Applejack quickly shoots a glance at your legs. "Uh… he’s wearing somethin, but it’s NOT yer mark!"
Rainbow angrily struts forward and pokes Applejack in the chest. “I. know. what. I. saw. Applejack. You know the laws, he was wearing my mark. He’s my stallion by law.”
Applejack opens her mouth to argue again, then shuts her mouth and visibly deflates.
“But… but… Ah thought ah might…”
Gathering your wits you suddenly pull yourself out of the haystack, and march over to Rainbow Dash. Startled, Dash tries to back away, but you corner her against the barn door.
“So… Rainbow…” You say, slowly tracing gently the hair on her chest with a finger. “If I’m yours… then prove it.”
Rainbow nervously *gulps*, then puts on one of the worst seductive faces you've ever seen. “Yeah… I mean, it ‘looks like we’re going to have to do this the hard way.’” *Applejack snickers behind you*
“Oh yes…” You slowly say, letting each syllable drip off your tongue. “Things certainly will get… ‘hard’.”
*Snort* Applejack’s barely keeping it together.
Rainbow Dash shudders a bit. But she squares her shoulders, and soldiers on. She first starts reaching for your stomach… but then stops…. then she reaches for your chest… and she stops again.
Finally she places her hoof on one of the least Erogenous zones ever. The wrist. “Mmmmm… your… things... are so… thick.”
“Yes… yes... Thick indeed.” You say. You can hear Applejack barely keeping it together in the background, snorting and laughing into her hat.
You gently trace Rainbow Dash’s shoulder slowly downward, downward, watching Rainbow’s pupils dilate further each inch you get closer to her hooves. Right before you reach them, she WRENCHES her hooves from your hands, and flutters a few feet out of your reach.
*DWAAAH!* “Forget it! I don’t like ponies touching my hooves!”
“But Rainbow Dash!” You yell, hands pleadingly held outward. “Couples hold hooves! Now come back here and hold mine!”
“No!”
“Rainbow Dash! Come down here right now and hold them!”
“NO!”
“DASH!”
“NOO! I don’t wanna.”
*Sigh* You dramatically facepalm. “DASH! I just KNEW this relationship wouldn’t work out… How could it… when you can’t even TOUCH ME!” You melodramatically throw yourself into the haystack, covering your face, the very image of melodrama.
Applejack trots up to you and pats you on the back reassuringly. She then glares at Rainbow Dash and shouts. “Rainbow Dash! How dare you! Claiming a Stallion, then throwing him away like that! Yew oughta be ashamed of yerself!”
Rainbow Dash hovers in the air, wringing her hooves. She looks at you, and briefly hovers closer, then backs up. Then hovers closer again.. annnddd.. backs up.
Applejack points her hoof triumphantly at Rainbow Dash, “Ha! Ah knew it! Yew are scared of stallions!”
Rainbow crosses her hooves angrily. “AM NOT!”
Applejack cockilly smiles. “Whell…. if you really aren’t scared of stallions, then you wouldn’t be afraid to do… this!”
Applejack suddenly tosses herself into the hay right next to you, and with a smug look at Rainbow Dash, grabs your arm in her hooves and snuggles right up with you. She looks into your eyes and smiles.
She then bites her lip, and leans in.
You feel her warm breath on your neck, and… you realize again that she’s absolutely beautiful. Like… Wow…
She whispers to you. “Jus… just play along darlin. I won’t… I won’t do anything.”
You swallow.
Applejack leans in, and grabbing her hat covers both your faces. Both you and Applejack stare at eachother, lips almost touching, her breath rippling through your hair.
Suddenly you’re pulled right out of Applejack’s hooves by your foot, and Rainbow Dash unceremoniously drops you straight into the dirt. “OOO-PH!”
Applejack sits up in the hay, and puts her hat back on. “Rainbow! What are you doing!”
Rainbow Dash flies RIGHT up to Applejack’s face. “AJ! I’d! I-I…. I’d! You just rushed me! That’s all! I’d have-”
“What Rainbow? What? Looked him to death?” Applejack interrupts.
“No!” Rainbow sullenly replies.
“Then what Rainbow? What?! If you aren’t even able to hold a stallion, then WHY are you keeping him to yerself!” Applejack says, angrily stomping her hoof down.
“I…” Rainbow Dash fiddles with her mane. “Oh, who am I kidding...”
Rainbow looks at the ground, completely deflated. She looks up at you with big puppy eyes.
“I… I just wanted to… you know. To-To… prove all those idiots wrong.”
Rainbow shuffles her hooves awkwardly… “I’m tired of all the color profiling..”
Suddenly Rainbow Dash flicks her mane back, and clears her throat. *Ahem* “But, hey! Now I’ve got a stallion to Practice with!”
“What!?”
“Whut?”
She gingerly reaches her hoof forward inch by inch, very slowly… You can hear her muttering to herself, “Comon Dash… It’s just your hooves… it’s fine…”
Rainbow Dash, hooves shaking, is about to grab your hand when…
“‘MERICA?!” You look up at whoever shouted, and spot of all ponies… “Roseluck?!!”
*Meanwhile at the Ponyville Library*
Twilight Sparkle lays on her bed, shifting restlessly. She groans into her pillow, then sits up on her bed.
“What… what if America’s right? What if… Freedom is the only way?”
Twilight gets up and paces around her room frantically. “This would change everything! The lead mare paradigm, the mare property laws, even herd protocols!”
Twilight suddenly freezes, and looks up at her window to see…. HER.
The Immortal Goddess of the Eternal Sun herself, Princess Celestia.
“Princess Celestia!” Twilight exclaims.
“...Twilight.” Princess Celestia cooley responds.
“I.. I- What are you doing here! I thought you had to be in Canterlot!” Twilight says, nervously bowing her head.
Princess Celestia regally looks around Twilight’s bedroom, then finally looks back at Twilight and gives a tiny smile. “I decided I needed to come speak to my dearest student. I’ve heard some rumors that a particular… ‘man’ that is giving you problems.”
“Oh. OH!” Twilight exclaims, nervously shifting her weight from hoof to hoof. “Well… you see…”
Twilight hangs her head. “I can’t find him.”
Celestia’s smile disappears along with the warmth in her tone, and she holds her head higher, as she towers over the Purple Unicorn. “Twilight…”
Twilight’s head droops lower, as she desperately tries to find something to focus on other the Princess Celestia. “I...”
Princess Celestia’s lips pull gracefully downward into a frown, and suddenly the room feels like it’s suddenly has lost all warmth, as if the sun itself has ceased to shine.
“Twilight Sparkle. The Mares in Black have told me everything. I know.”
Princess Celestia leans forward, and calmly, cooling says while staring into Twilight’s eyes. “You teleported him without backup, and he escaped.”
Celestia pauses, and cooly says, “But that’s not why I’m upset with you… Twilight… Why didn’t you Neuralize him?”
Twilight reluctently looks into the Sun Goddess’s eyes, and she shivers, and just as she takes a breath to speak…
She stops.
Twilight glances briefly at her empty bed, with your hoodie still folded neatly beside it on the bedside table…
Then looks back into her teacher’s eyes and asks hesitantly, “I couldn't catch him... and when I did, I couldn't because… well… what if he’s right? What if… Freedom is the only way? What if that’s what could save Equestria?”
Celestia’s eyebrows twitch a fraction of a inch upwards, but then… she smiles.
“Twilight… I thought you’d know this after all these years…”
Celestia gracefully then walks to Twilight’s window, and begins calmly teleporting the books on, “An Equestrian Republic?”, “The Wealth of Nations”, and, “What if Colts Ruled Us?” away.
"Oh Twilight... you think Freedom might be the only way?"
She smiles, then gently begins singing. “Why Twilight…
Look at you as fragile as a flower.
Still a little sapling, just a sprout...
You know why I rule this country with my power!
Twilight starts to say, “I kno-”
Celestia interrupts “That’s right! To keep Equestria safe and sound…”
Celestia looks out the window, and sighs mournfully.
“I guess I always knew this day was coming…
I knew that someday you’d question if I know best!
Twilight, my student…. trust me yet… Teacher… knows best!”
With a flick of her horn, and a friendly smile Celestia teleports the books, “Strongest Hooves: The Leviathan”, “The Wealth of Nations”, and “The Road to Serfdom” away…
“Teacher knows best, listen to your teacher… It’s a scary world out there!
Teacher knows best, one way or another something will go wrong I swear!!!"
Celestia begins summoning images of monsters, ghouls, and nightmares with eerie green bale fire.
"Tragdor, Diamond Dogs! Poison Joke and Quicksand, Cockitrice and snakes, Cutie-pox, the plague!” (“No!”) “Yes! Also large bugs, colts with pointy teeth, now stop no more you’ll just upset me!”
Celestia suddenly levitates dozens of books from Twilight’s shelves, teleporting them quickly away while she nuzzles Twilight…. Who is now trying her best to hide under her bedsheets.
“Teacher’s right here, Teacher will protect you!
Darling here’s what I suggest!
Don’t worry about America stick with Celestia…
Teacherrrrrrrrrr!! Knows best!”
Right as Twilight begins to poke her head out from under the covers, Celestia launches into a second verse!
“Teacher knows best! Take it from your Goddess, on it’s own Equestria won’t survive…”
Celestia looks at Twilight, then summons a mirror in front of Twilight with a snap of magic.
“And Twilight… Sloppy, mane undressed, immature clumsy! Please, he’d eat you up alive!!”
Celestia begins levitating a series of brushes around Twilight, all while brushing her mane and constantly moving Twilight around the room.
“Gullible, naive! Positively frumpy! Ditzy and a bit well… Mhmm.. vague?”
Celestia then pats Twilight’s thighs with her hoof. “Plus I believe… getting a little chubby, and I’m just saying this because I. love. you….”
Celestia then plops Twilight back on her bed unceremoniously.
“Teacher understands, teacher’s here to help you! All I have is one request!!!!”
Suddenly Celestia is standing by the window, the sunset brilliantly lighting up her celestial mane as she holds out a hoof…
Twilight smiles in relief, and rushes in to nuzzle Celestia. Celestia smiles, then nuzzles Twilight gently back.
“Now Twilight?” Celestia calmly asks.
Twilight looks up at Celestia, eyes moist with tears as she says, “yes?”
Celestia then seriously looks down into Twilight’s eyes, as the room suddenly feels very small...
“Don’t ask if Freedom is the only way ever again.”
Twilight dejected looks downward, “Yes Celestia…”
Celestia smiles gently and sighs. “I love you very much Twilight.” Celestia then walks to Twilight’s window, and extending her wings pauses before taking off.
"I love you too..."
“Don’t forget it… you’ll regret it… Teacher, knows best!”
*FWOOOSH* Twilight flops onto her bed, and begins crying in the middle of her now empty Library as her teacher’s flapping slowly fades into the distance...
“Oh America….”
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I can't help but hope America gets a chance to beat the crap out of Celestia someday soon... Hell, I hope Luna gets to as well...
The youtube links really fit with the semi serious but funny style that you use.
Ironically now that you used a tangled song, I can see this story having much the same flavor as that movie.
3286540 aww... ah well. well played. I was already first on the new chapter of "Happy Adventuring Twilight!" so I guess I can't be picky.
Applejack wants the D
but this story isn't tagged for sex, so she won't get any
*Evil laugh*
3286540
Well, TD punched Celestia in the face, twice even. The worst that happened was Luna snapped his spine in half.
3286664 True, but this time Luna would be in support of a Celestiass-kicking...
The scenes with AJ and RD were great. Very funny!
rapunsel
This:
Twilight Sparkle. The Mares in Black have told me everything. I know
Twilight… Why didn’t you Neuralize him?
Men in black?! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!
Ok, so now that we know that Bronies are being kidnapped from their world (human world). Now the question is, what's going to happen next?
I enjoyed the whole America and AJ punking RD. I found it funny. I feel a little bit sorry for Rainbow, being sterio-typed because of her mane and tail colors. STERIO-TYPING IS BAD PEOPLE!! REMEMBER THAT.
I know that earlier in the story it was pretty much told that Celestia was going to be evil in this one, though I kinda hoped that that wasn't the true case.
"Grrr. that was SO not cool!!!
"My.....my teacher being like that." "That was completely messed up of her to say those things about me. *sadface twilight*
"How so?"
"Maybe......but for now let's stop jumping to conclusions and just wait for the next chapter."
"Now, if you'll excuse me. I need to go and find all my books that 'that' Celestia took from me." "Later."
sigh.....oh well.
RR: "Twilight what's wrong?"
RR: "......I know Twi.....unfortunately that is how Celestia in this reality is." "I mean....did you not hear the history lesson that Granny Smith gave earlier? The Princess sent her to the Moon for trying to free everypony." "Now that I think about it......this whole thing kinda reflects the time period of when America was first being made."
RR: "People didn't want to have their lives dictated by a single individual who was sitting on a throne above them." "Being told when they could do something, being told what to wear, or even being told who to marry." "There's a whole lot more to it than that, but besides that, the events here are starting to turn towards that."
RR: "Ok Twilight." :)
AMERICA F#*K YEAH!
FREEDOM IS THE ONLY WAY YEAH!
CELESTIA YOUR GAME IS THROUGH
CUZ NOW YA HAVE TO ANSWER TO!
AMERICA F$&K YEAH
its time to d-d-d-d-d-d-DUEL!
because ONE OF US IS GOING DOWN!
so now were flyan were free
of the ee of the tuger that is ready to fight
that descended into utter madness
This new style thingy your using with all the pictures.
I adore it, it really brings an extra bit of dimension into the story.
Also this necesarry evil thing that Celestia does, kidnapping males from their friends and family to make sure that ponies as a species will survive, kinda sounds like something that Crysallis would do. (not complaining, just pointing out)
But would you just look at the time, i got stuff to do, you know how it goes.
i40.tinypic.com/219qbg3.jpg
Why does Big Mac still have his memories?
Dat roseluck tease.... But seriously, love the way the story is going, keep up the great work
How is Big Mac a brony before the show even started? Was he like one of the people who worked on the show or something?
Anyway, so much for trying to find evidence to beat Twilight ,and possibly Princess Celestia, in a trial it'll probably be awesome if they ended up holding a trial to beat her while hearing this music:
3290635 yeah!!!
3289952 Maybe a plot hole... Just don't look at it in polite company...
(I jest!) I love this story, and nearly spilled (read: spilled) my food when I saw this updated while I was out to eat.
3289952 Patience patience... All in good time...
3240296 Welcome to the Robot Chicken Universe. Where your childhood goes to die!
3287679 Twilight remember your Lit Theory class! Some-pony has to be the antagonist to provide the story with it's motivation!
3289952 3292210 So a plot hole huh... So you really think so?
3293925
he just had to give you material didn't he?
3293925 *childish giggle*
The comment was a perfect opening, and I can't help myself. Just blame your story for putting me into a good mood/your readers for potential wordplay.
AMERICA FUCK YEAH
I'm guessing the song at the end was from "Entangled"?
wait, I though Rainbow Dash wanted to beat up America for pinching her flank
3462494 Rainbow is very... Impulsive! Add that into shock, and she freaked out.
But if Rainbow is anything other than loyal, she's competitive...
Day 50...I'm still waiting for the next update I don't know if ill survive to see the next chapter.....if anyone is reading this....tell my future wife and kids.....I love them.....
im sorry everyone but i've got to tell you 3463378 has died from lackofupdate-itis
as well as stupiddiseasenameia
if there is anyone out there who could tell his family im sure he would have apreciated it
So celestia is a dictator, I can see that
omg aj and rd get OUT OF MY FACE RIGHT KNOW!
So the song that Celestia sings is a parody of The mother's song in Tangled right?
What?.. [insert a video of the Doctor repeating "What??"]
I think, this bit doesn't belong in this fic... In fact, it doesn't belong anywhere! Societies don't work like that!
I can't believe it!.. Was this world created only to be destroyed? In which case it's a sad tale.