Running from Twilight

by Brony-Sibling

A change...

“WHAT?” You laugh, chortling since… Well you’re not exactly sure how to respond. Twilight’s face is rapidly turning a bright cherry red. You half snort. “And that club... That stuff is… somehow... popular music?”

Twilight who by this point is bright cherry red, can’t look you in the eyes because she’s so embarrassed. She nervously draws circles on the table with her hoof. “Well… yeah. I mean, it’s a catchy song.. and… Well I mean… It’s just… Euuugh!”

Twilight covers her head with her hooves in embarrassment and frustration.

Sighing in consolation, you pat her back. “Well… It’s fine, Twilight, it was pretty catchy after all!”

Suddenly it hits you. “But wait… why were they wearing pants? Aren’t ponies… naked most of the time?” You ask.

Twilight quickly tries to hide even further behind her hooves. Sliding into the seat right alongside her you whisper in her ear. “Come on… didn’t you want to teach me all about Equestria? I promise that I’ll won’t be offended… I’ll take it as scientific observation!”

Twilight’s ear twitches at, “scientific”, and she hesitantly peeks out at you, then sighing, looks at With a last smile at you, it begins! you and says, “It’s fairly simple. Clothes aren’t needed, so it adds a mysterious sexual libido, in addition to that, this band has a catchy beat, and uses every mare’s desire to find a mate to… ‘sell sex’... so to speak.”

You shake your head and laugh. “Twilight… we do the same thing ALL the time in my world! Most bands HAVE to do that to survive!”

“Really?” Twilgiht says, slowly uncovering her head like a purple… fluffy turtle coming out of her shell.

“Really” You say reassuringly. “It’s hard to think of a single band which hasn’t in some way used sex to sell it’s music. Katy Perry, One Direction, and pretty much every Rock Band Ever!”

“Rock… Band?” Twilight asks, scrunching up her face. “That sounds like Pinkie Pie somehow would be interested…”

You snicker, “Hehe, not THAT kind of a rock band. Maybe sometime I’ll show you.”

Taking a deep breath, Twilight groans in embarrassment as she again hides her head in her hooves. “Just… Just forget this ever happened ok?”

You smile, and pat her hoof. “Nope! Not a chance!” But It’s alright Twilight I did enjoy myself.”

Twilight just groans in response, and tries to further hide her bright red face under her hooves. Just looking at her you feel terrible, and try to come up with some way to cheer the Purple Pony Princess up. “So… how about you show me the rest of Canterlot eh? Come on, it’ll be fun!” You say with false bravado, This trip hasn’t been going so well so far after all...

Smiling tentatively, Twilight grabs your hand and leads you out of the club. As you exit the club, Twilight’s hoof is still holding onto yours, and she’s blushing ever so slightly, and trying her best not to look at you.

While you can’t help but laugh at the awkward three-hooved walk she does, you admit… You’re enjoying this too. She’s really beautiful, and while she’s a bit awkward, it only seems to add to her charm. You can’t help but think, “If only she was on my side…” Shaking your head to clear that thought, you reflexively pull your hand away from Twilight.

She looks at you in concern and disappointment, and asks timidly, “Merica… is everything… ok?”

Figiting with your wrist, you can’t look her in the eye. “Ye-, N-... I- I don’t know.”

Pulling herself up to your height, she holds your head in your hooves and looks you directly in the eye. “Merica, I’ve been thinking…”

She takes a big breath in, and steeles her resolve as she looks into your eyes, “ I want you to be happy… I. *I* want this. For the first time in… I don’t know… forever, I want something, and it’s not because Celestia told me to! So… Please?” Twilight says, brushing her mane out of her eyes, “Tell me. *I* want to know.”

Struggling to find words, you gently push Twilight away, and turn to look at Canterlot from the overlook you’re at. “Twilight… I- It’s… It’s nice here. It really is. But… Something is wrong.”

Twilight gently places her hoof over your mouth. Looking deep into your eyes, she says, “I know… and I think I know.. what I must do.”

Somehow… You can tell that something big has changed. With that declaration, Twilight smiles, and music begins to swell in the background.
With a last smile at you, it begins!

“I’ve always been hoping, someone will see the mare,
Not me the bookworm standing there!
Someone who wants to know the real meeeee!
For years I've roamed these empty halls
Why have a no love when you can have it all?
Finally I’ve opened up my mind!

You’re an actual real life person,
and it’s totally strange
But wow, am I so ready for this change!

'Cause for the first time in forever
There'll be music, there'll be light
For the first time in forever
I've been dancing through the night!

Don't know if I'm elated or gassy
But I'm somewhere in that zone
Cause for the first time in forever!
I won't be alone..."

“I can’t wait for you to meet everyone! (gasp)
Well maybe not...That one?”

Twilght grabs your hands and spins you around,

“I’d never imagine I’d rebel,
Against that God who raised me well!
A picture of a mare who’s lost her miiiiind!

Ooh! But when I suddenly saw you standing there
A beautiful stranger, tall and fair
Who smells like masculinity and graceeeee….

And so we’ve laughed and danced all evening,
Which is totally bizarre
It’s nothing like the life I've had so far!

Because for the first time in forever
There'll be magic, there'll be fun!
For the first time in forever
I’ve been noticed by someone

And I know it is totally crazy
To dream I'd find romance
But for the first time in forever...
Well with this man I’ve got a chance!"

Startled, you slap Twilight’s hooves away, and turn away from her, you mind spinning. Gently you sing to yourself...

America:
Don't let her in, don't let her see
Be the good guy you always have to be..
Conceal, don't feel, put on a show...
Make one wrong move and you’ll hurt her you know…

Hopefully, you quietly sing to yourself,:
“But it's only for today…”

Twilight joins you,
It's only for today!

America:
It's agony these chains…

Twilight:
Well I’ll just make them go away!

Pausing briefly… You decide. It’s time. Turning to Twilight, you take her hooves in yours.

America:
“Please take off these magical.... chains!”

Twilight smiles, and with a flash, It’s done!
Twilight:
“They brake!”

Smiling with joy, Twilight sings out,
For the first time in forever-

America:
What have I done, but, soon they’ll see!

Twilight:
I'm getting what I'm dreaming of-

America:
Be the good guy you’ve always had to be...

Twilight::
A chance to free my lonely world...

America:
But… These feels...

Twilight:
A chance to find true love!

America:
Conceal, don't feel, don't let her know!

Twilight:
I know it might end tomorrow,
So at least we’ve got today!
'Cause for the first time in forever...
For the first time in forever-
Nothing's in my way!

Smiling, Twilight gently grabs your hand... and in a flash, you’re Teleported far away.

Comments

[111segasonic]

I'm not sure how to react to this chapter.

[Gen Brony]

fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/016/9/5/i_love_it_horse_tomska_by_shadow_darkwolf-d72gdr5.jpg The Horse likes this story just by reading the description.

[111segasonic]

Maybe you should drop the singing in future chapters. I mean seriously, the singing is becoming excessive.

[Mustafa]

Well... That was a thing.

[ZergPony]

The singing is excessive and frankly seems to make up for a lot of what you write.

The story should have the random tag as well, other than that it's...decent, I guess?

[SwordOfWieldThe3rd]

5499019 YES!!!

prettysmartrawfoodideas.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/halleluia-praise-the-lord1.jpg

Or whatever else you want to say!!!!

[SwordOfWieldThe3rd]

Thank you, Brony Sibling. The singing was slightly unnecessary (Mainly because I don't like frozen) but overall one of the best reads ever! NOW KEEP WRITING (Hear that in a god voice)

troll.me/images/brick-tamland/oma-god-thank-you-thumb.jpg

[bloodwolf432]

Not sure how I feel about this. On one hand the story is back, on the other it's deviating from its title about running away from Twilight with the feels.

[Mortal Kombat]

tangled songs...

frozen songs...

songs in general...

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[Seether00]

No! Stop that, stop that! No singing!

There'll be no singing while I'm 'ere.

[Clicker]

Disappointing to say the least, we wait ages and get a song, I just hope he shoots her down.

[Neutral Mike]

I came to read things...

I read some things...

“It’s hard to think of a single band which hasn’t in some way used sex to sell it’s music. Katy Perry, One Direction, and pretty much every Rock Band Ever!”

“Rock… Band?” Twilight asks, scrunching up her face. “That sounds like Pinkie Pie somehow would be interested…”

Things have amused me...

That aside, I'm curious about the outcome of the situation. I shall be waiting.

[Red Bomber]

Awesome he has a chance not to be a pony after all. But he better still try not to lose and if he does lose and turned can he at least make sure Twilight sends the guys back home if they find out they don't want to live their life as a pony? However if things turned out alright, he'll be a the first human with a pony girlfriend.

[MerlosTheMad]

5502405

However if things turned out alright, he'll be a the first human with a pony girlfriend.

Truly this is the summation of life's meaning itself.

[Red Bomber]

5502722 *nods*

[IkioStar]

Too much singing, relies too heavily on it with insubstantial actual dialogue. The references are appreciated but unnecessary, and there's only enough description to barely tide the reader over.

The story has wonderfully compact pacing, and doesn't hide away from dealing with its views, but it's taken them nowhere plot-wise. This would be a great story if the author didn't waste so much of its potential on song lyrics, pictures, and links to get by and do what the words themselves should be doing. This is fanfiction, a medium of writing. The supplements are nice to have access to, but shouldn't be relied upon as a reader new to the setting finds themselves questioning the setting or the characters. Sold anywhere else, (and yes you are essentially selling this idea to your readers even if you aren't making money off of it), this kind of story would not fly.

I find myself as a reader, only interested in the main plot and storyline. The lyrics, the references when I recognize them, serve to either make me laugh at their use, but they aren't effective enough to make me actually enjoy their presence. I'd suggest actually taking this story more seriously, but you as the author seem to have resigned to showing off reworded song lyrics.

I don't hate this story, but I don't like it either. I'm a little disappointed in what I was told and suggested would be a fine read.

Good luck with your story,
ISA

[DontFearTheSuperman]

5502280 I hope that happens as well. Well, what I hope, is that this is just some kind of plan he has cooked up to get that magical restriction on him off. Then, when he has his chance, BOOM! 360 turn around where the mares are defeated somehow.

[Brony-Sibling]

5502936 Huh. Thanks for the honest critique. I agree that this story wouldn't fly anywhere else, but then again I am writing this story *for fun*. I use the references and songs because I enjoy them, and I find the musical aspect of Equestria to be a fun way of storytelling.

5506009 Thank you! Loyal minion! Have a pony.

my10online.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/cool-pony.jpg

[Blaze the draconic mage]

I NEED MORE THIS IS FUNNY

[ferret]

[Camlio]

With all the singing... I literally have no idea what's going on because it's become an instinct to skip songs in a fanfiction because they aren't meant to be a way to drive the plot.

[Randomreader-001]

Huh, that's a bit of a quick 360 for Twilight to suddenly side with Merica........though I'm probably being nit-picky here on that since I do know that he's made his point clear to her on multiple occasions.
Also, you have the same link for the same song in two different places Brony-Sibling. Did you mean to have a different song on the first link, but put up the same one by accident?

Looking forward to the next part.

[Reminiscent]

Now to wait another 6 months.

[SwordOfWieldThe3rd]

So, is this fic dead? But I NEED my monthly dose of this. PLEASE, keep writing this! If you need help I know a lot of people who could probably help. If you need to get your writing mojo back, read another good fic! If you had too many tacos for gods sake get in the bathroom, poop, and keep writing!!!! JUST FREAKIN DO IT!!! FOR 'MERICA!

Oh, and good job witb the fic. Iz good. Just like deez nutz.

[T1MBUK0N3]

Since Twilight is planning on making the reader a pony, then this should go to the Conversion Bureau.

[Hoppa_21]

This story is interesting! First the sexism of the ponies was only hilarious, but with the time one can slowly see the Dark side of it!

[Zammrok]

LOVe it

[Zammrok]

Is this type of write who puts a story out every year

[SilverPony98]

Oh hey! Another story I remember reading from 8th grade!

RIP 2011-2013 middle school memories.

[CroisSunnyPlay]

DED! Not pig soup rice.

[Viper Pit]

well its dead as a door knob that super sucks

[Scholar Andrew]

Depression.

[Viper Pit]

When a good story hasn't been updated in 4 years

[MadCelly]

Wanted to read this but last updated 2015 and not done. I care about myself too much to read an unfinished story.

[leaderofstars]

i don't ya'll but this sounds like a completed story

[Andy Ray]

Well, that's a shame. I guess, we'll have to write stories of our own.