*Hey everyone! I’m writing a short bit from Twilight’s perspective this chapter! Just for fun! Sorry for the major delay! Life and the Muse haven't been cooperating recently... Also, remember that the last chapter had a visit from Terry Crews...*
Twilight couldn’t help herself. *Squee!*instantly feeling heat rush to her cheeks as she blushes…
Looking away from ‘Merica she reflects for a second. “Why? I… I mean… maybe he is a bit… better smelling. But that alone shouldn’t…”
Twilight shakes her head to clear her mind. (You’ve got to focus Twilight! Convince America that it’s great living here! FOR EQUESTRIA!)
Twilight then smiles encouragingly at America while playfully troting briskly down the castle hallway, America taking his huge human-sized strides and easily keeping up.
“He’s got such powerful legs…” Twilight can’t help but think to herself.
… clip clop clip clop….
“I wonder what his bare arms look like.” “Huh?” “What?” “Did you?”
“Nope!” Twilight nervously blurts out.
America skeptically raises an eyebrow at Twilight… “Umm….”
(OHHORSEAPPLESINEEDTODISTRACT’MERI-) “-SO!” Twilight interrupts frantically, “Ever um…. Ever been to the Prancing Pony?”
“Well… no?” ‘Merica says, shrugging his powerful shoulders.
“Well then let’s go! You’ll just love this place! It’s just around the corner from the Castle!” Twilight nervously thinks to herself, pulling insistently on ‘Merica’s arm “I hope this works!”
(Author note:Switch perspectives!)
Twilight excitedly runs ahead of you as you’ve exited the castle just a short while ago, and as you wonder just what’s gotten into the little mare you’re met with a sight you’d never have expected from Twilight! She’s standing in front of.. A club. Like... a full-on, dance floor, DJ Pwn-3, club. There’s even a line of mares waiting to get in, with two stallions being let in infront of the rest. As you get closer, your ears suddenly are simultaneously assaulted, and made love to by the pounding beat.
The beat swells louder as you approach the line, but as you reach the very end of it, Twilight excitedly waves you up to the front. Sliding between ponies, you make it to the front of the line, and the bouncer nods and promptly opens the door for you and Twilight.
As you take a step inside, you can hear the ponies excitedly chattering behind you, “Was that Princess Twilight Sparkle? I heard this was her favorite spot!” “Who was that with her? I’ve never seen that species before!”
Twilight excitedly grabs your hand and drags you forward, and suddenly you’re inside. A drink is suddenly in your hands, and Twilight giggles as she pulls you toward the front of the crowd. “Come on! They’ve got a great lineup tonight!” She happily yells. “You’re going to love it!”
At the front, you can’t help but enjoy the pounding beat, and take a sip of your drink and you’re surprised! It’s cider… and suprisingly strong! You cough, and spit a little bit out, but not because of the alcohol… because you notice that Twilight suddenly starts… moving.While you don’t really know if you could legally call that dancing, she’s clearly loving it, and even though it’s very… different… her energy is infectious! This place is flowing through you, and suddenly, you CRUSH the cider in one gulp!
Crushing the can effortlessly in your fingers, you suddenly begin using dance moves you never knew before. It’s like the music has become… part of you. You lose yourself it in, and just dance with Twilight. Ponies all around you form a circle and start cheering! The energy is electric, and Twilight’s dancing somehow makes sense here! You’re perfectly in synch with Twilight, and without saying anything, but sheerly through eye contact flow through a series of moves in perfect synch. You feel the end of the song, and both you and Twilight time the end of the song with a frontflip, landing face to snout, Twilight cradled effortlessly in your arms. Twilight smiles brilliantly, sweating and breathing heavily, and you grinning yourself, you bump “hooves” with her..
Twilight blushes, and quickly lets herself down from your arms, and gentle graps your hand. Sweating, you and Twilight take a bow to the cheering crowd, and Twilight leads you off the dance floor. “THAT WAS AMAZING!” She shrieks, “WHERE’D YOU LEARN TO DANCE LIKE THAT?!” She yells, leaning in just inches from your face to make herself heard.
“I HAVE NO IDEA!” You yell back. “A VIDEO GAME MAYBE?”
“MOST IMPRESSIVE!” Twilight yells, wiping sweat off her brow, “HOW ABOUT WE TAKE A REST?” “SURE!” You yell back, feeling a bit drained yourself.
Twilight quickly pulls you into a VIP booth, and you both sit down, enjoying the slightly quieter part of the club.from the fully stocked and luxurious booth. You pop open another can of hard cider to qwench your thirst and gulp it down.
*BWAH* You exhale in satisfaction after drinking most of the can.“Wow! That was amazing!” You gush, “I had no idea pony clubs are so… energetic!”
“Hey! What else do you expert of a Sparkle?!” Twilight says, lightly punching your shoulder. “I know all the best places in Canterlot!”
“Clearly!” You say grinning, “You’ll just have to show me those other places then!” as you happily bro-fist her shoulder. As you stare into Twilight’s eyes so close, you can’t help but admire the way the lights play across Twilight’s beautiful mane-cut.
“It’s a deal!” Twilight laughs, playing with a strand of her mane.
Suddenly, the music dims, and the DJ yells out, “Mares and Gentlecolts! You’re in for a treat tonight! Just for you… THE FLIGHT OF THE ALICORNS!”
“Oh yay!” Twilight says, clapping her hooves quickly together in excitement. “These guys are amazing!”
All goes quiet, and suddenly, the spotlight zooms in on two pegasus colts, with incredibly fake unicorn horns taped to their foreheads and flashy gold and silver pants. One quietly says to the other.
"Check it out, the mares... they go crazy for my Sugarlumps."
“Your what?”
“The mares, they’re just checking out my sugarlumps.”
Suddenly the beat drops, and one of the “Alicorns” begins to dance on the stage, making exaggerated grinding motions to the flashing lights.
“Lemmie tell ya.”
I see you girls checkin' out my trunks
I see you girls checkin' out the front of my trunks
I see you girls lookin' at my junk, then checkin' out my rump, then back to my sugarlumps.
Suddenly the “Alicorns” have McHammer pants *poofed* on… and continue their grinding dances.
When I shake it, I shake it all up
You probably think that my pants have the mumps
It's just my sugarlumps bump ba bump
They look so good, that's why I keep 'em in the front
Suddenly a platform elevates the “Alicorns” on stage, and begins spinning slowly as the colts lay seductively on jet black piano.
All the ladies checkin' out my sugarlumps
They drive the ladies crazy
*Meanwhile a pair of colts are shooting sugarcubes into the audience’s mouths with some sort of… sugarcube gun. And yes, somehow it doesn’t suprise you that the sugar gun is pink* The colts resume their dance, while magically changing their pants to fit the lyics.
All these bitches checkin' out my britches
Put 'em in a trance when I wear track pants
My dungarees make them hun-ga-ree
They're over the moon when I don pantaloons
*Both colts RIP off their pants-to many mares happily shrieking- to reveal two new sets of pants, which are somehow even MORE shiney than the McHammer pants!*
“My sugarlumps are two of a kind - sweet and white and highly refined!
Honies try all kinds of tomfoolery to steal a feel of my family jewellery!
My cannonballs cause a kerfuffle - the ladies they hustle to ruffle my truffle!
If you party with the Party Prince, you get two complimentary after-dinner mints!”
*Suddenly the “Alicorns”, are joined by 10 other earth colts who begin backup dancing, shaking their… “sugarlumps” all the while in a gyrating line as a fog machine pours smoke into the audience.*
“We see you girls checkin' out our trunks
We see you girls checkin' out the front of our trunks
We see you girls lookin' at our junk, then checkin' out our rumps, then back to our sugarlumps”
Suddenly the colts are joined by a third colt in sweatpants and nerd BCGs.
“Chillin' at my store, doin' my thing, when in walks a guy with his dick in a sling
I'm like, "Holy bricks! What happened to you?
He said, "How much will you give me for the family jewels?"
I said "Ten coins"; he said "No way!"
"Ten coins and a Plushie"; he said "Okay"
And I took his sugarlumps and put 'em on display, and sold 'em as hacky sacks later that day!”
*Suddenly 4 new sugarcube guns rise up from the stage, and begin raining sugarcubes down onto the ecstatic audience, all while the group continues singing...*
“All the ladies they want a taste of my sugarlumps
Sweet sugarlumps yeah!
All the ladies they want a taste of my sugarlumps
Sweet sugarlumps! Yeah..”
And with that, the lights go down, and the, “Alicorns” fly out the doors above their screaming fans, shouting, “Ladies! Go get some sugar tonight!”
Eyes wide in astonishment, and feeling just a bit buzzed from the hard cider, you look at the blushing Twilight Sparkle.
“WHAT?!”
Sorry everyone! New chapter should be up now! I hope you all enjoy it and sorry again for the fake out! :-/
5010990 I found out about it in my notifications.
5011580 *puts away the torches and pitchforks* It's okay we forgive you. *insert eerie music here*
Just kidding. Though, seriously no problems. I was just surprised that when it first got out that you left the password bit on that's all.
I hope twilight fails
Even though it was a short chapter, it was really good. I enjoyed the club scene. Though I was worried for a bit, was a bit worried that Merica's drink was "Spiked".
I want this story to continue and I hope America wins. I may hate ponies, but I hate sexism and slavery based on sexism even more!
FINALLY! :D
I felt lioe she took him to a gay bar with the musical ending
5012706 Guess why? BECAUSE THIS IS 'MERICA!
clockworkconservative.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/charlton-heston-nra.jpg
5011900 I admit... I finished the chapter at 2am, but wanted to post it during the day. I accidentally clicked "Publish", then frantically unpublished and went to sleep. Checked it again from work on my phone, and OPPS! Saw the comments! Promptly posted afterward... EhehHehe..
5014104 A pun eh.... (Just kidding. Good one.) reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/slow_clap_vanderbeek.gif
Twilight didn't expect what happened next. 'Merica spontaneously burst into hysterical guffaws. He rolled around in his seat, barely able to stay in it. His eyes watered, and his face reddened. His breath was short by the time he responded to her question.
"No, I- hehe... I can't say I ever have. Snrk. Will we see hobbits there?"
woah this updated?! i never saw thsi in my unread list or received a notification.... guess it must have been bugged and didn't notify me or show up and when i clicked knighty's bug fix link it made it appear?
it's still bugging the fuck out of me that he's actually going along with this. the fucking mare that he's stuck with lied in court! all just because she wasn't willing to let him go and go grab some other human! some of you might not agree with me; but if it were me, i'd have done everything in my power to make her, and everypony else who tried to keep me there, miserable. they want to keep me prisoner, they can fucking work for it! and if they decide to brain wash me or something, then i'd make sure that they knew that the real me hated them for what they were doing, and that every time they looked at 'me,' they would be forced to remember what they did to a perfectly nice guy that just wanted to go home. what's funny is that, on a normal day, i would love to go to equestria. but kidnapping me, holding me hostage, and changing my species kinda makes the dream turn into a nightmare.
Uh oh, it looks like Twilight really likes America, but honestly can't he just stay as a human as it seems like she appears to like him better that way?
5113331
I kinda agree with you on that. Why can't she just get another human who actually WANTS to be a pony in Equestria but it seems like Twilight appears to have a "no failure" track record when she started doing this and she doesn't want our hero to be the first one. I just hope he really isn't slowly turning into a pony with what Twi gave him in the hospital and just more susceptible to the magic in Equestria instead. I just wonder how is he going to "defeat" or escape from Celestia once he meets her as it appears to be obvious that she's running this crazy scheme.
I do hope twilight fails miserably and there is somehow a riot that results in the deaths of dozens! Sparking a civil war, creating chaos throughout the land, that will free discord and let anarchy reign supreme! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!
and then as a "thank you for freeing me" discord sends him back to earth at the same moment he left
( yes, i know this wont happen, but its fun to fantasize about a sexist, slave using country burning to the ground along with its inhabitants
5015602
Gay bar? Nah, just reversed sexualization. Equestria knows that we need to strike a balance...
Until women start to enjoy that sorta thing in large quantities, we'll have SJWs XD So encourage it!
So is this, like cancelled or something because it's been a while since you've updated it.
Y u no update!
5309479 Can't make a Y chromosome. Plus the plot calls for it!
5386629 My bad! But the next chapter is 98% done. Posting it tomorrow! Life has been insane for the past few months.
5490029 Tomorrow!
I just don't understand, why this even is in second-person?.. At this point third-person would have done nicely.
No. This is horrible!
This is very hard to read! Gosh darn it!