• Member Since 17th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 15th, 2015

Miniscule Literary


E

A man is transported to Equestria through some unknown means. Instead of becoming the life of the party in an instant, he is forced to survive using less than conventional means, hiding from the denizens of Ponyville in fear of how they would react to a human being. But such an existence cannot last forever.

As well, he must contend with the reality of an incomplete cartoon world. Things are not as easy to adjust to as they seem.

Chapters (29)
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Comments ( 1619 )

Those cupcakes be poisoned.

Also I must say, this is a very interesting-looking take on the usual brony-in-Equestria trope. Consider me invested.

Beware of a peeved pink pony of prodigious proportions

Hmm. An interesting scenery.

1453253
I appreciate the feedback. Chapter length has always been my issue, it seems. But I consider it a matter of preference. I always like smaller chapters, it seemed to make them easier to read. I dunno, maybe that's just me :S

David's past will be mentioned later on. As it stands, things are very stakes right now, so he hasn't had a lot of down time that didn't involve thinking of ways to make the situation better. Everyone gets home sick eventually, and poor David is no exception.

And of course, thank you all for your interest :pinkiehappy:

1453359
Dunno, might be very soon, or it might be tomorrow.

I'm very much enjoying this, particularly the approach and writing style. The chapter length appears to be exactly perfect; shorter chapters feel like they work better, I can't really explain it.

I...

I am happy.

I love the little journal entries than end each chapter. They're a nice touch. :twilightsmile:

SON OF A BITCH.

I was gonna do this! Damn it all! Now I've got competition!

Many congrats on the feature. Keep up the good work!

1453736
Featured?! Awesome!

Thanks guys! I'll try to keep this fanfic active. I'm very happy everyone is liking it so much!

Awesome story, please keep up the good work! :ajsmug:

Hmm... features seem to have been requiring less popularity lately...

Regardless, I'll read.

Wonderful so far. You have somehow made pastel ponies into something to fear....................:pinkiecrazy:
Dunno how that works but it does!

Avoid all costs? Pinkie will now ignore your request

Beware the pink one...

It Will find....YOU

1451974 :pinkiegasp: "Prodigious proportions"?!
... :pinkiesick: well, maybe I do snack a little. Okay, a lot! :pinkiesad2:

1451974

Pinkie Pie doesn't offend easily, but don't EVER call a female, of any species, fat. Especially for something as trivial as alliteration.:pinkiecrazy:

I'm loving the story so far! Very well written. I mean, you've made ponies...intimidating. How the hell does that even work? :rainbowhuh:

1454148 Good point, she is Pinkie Pie of course

imageshack.us/a/img33/5764/likethischapter.jpg

This is good stuff, grats on the feature!

btw, I like the short chapters. Short and sweet... keeps it bite-size. :pinkiehappy:

You're going way, way too fast, man. The world is turning into plaid. Slow the honk down.

You like short chapters, I can see that. Problem is, you're doing narrative. That doesn't work. Narrative needs more flesh to be good. Short chapters and, say, journal entries from the human's PoV would work. But these aren't journal entries, this is narrative. Very rushed narrative, with no flesh to the bones. And thus, not great. Barely passable.

You get points for stringing together coherent sentences, but you lose a lot for writing something so insubstantial and rushed.

It's another HiE: -1
It's AWESOME: +9002

:pinkiehappy:

Interesting take on HiE, He actually reminds me of myself somewhat.

Unfounded paranoia and logical thought processes forever. :pinkiehappy:

So...He..A human, brony, is stupid enough to hide in the basement of the single strongest magic user of all Equestria, is sending a written letter, either in an entirely foreign language, or a language he has almost no understanding of, solely because he didn't think of anything better. You know what? This guy is more stupid than I am. Personally, I would have went to Zecora first, then Fluttershy, then Applejack. Or just hid in the forest and fought manticores for the rest of my life, while possibly redirecting a certain crusadorial group back to the entrance of the forest every time they tried to enter.

This is one of the very very few fics involving humans that I enjoy. Great job!

"Dear Princess Celestia,

How did I get here I don't belong here please help me tell the ponies not to kill me and keep the pink one away from me

A Complete Stranger, D."

Foolproof.

A Complete Stranger, D."

Foolproof.

Foolproof.

cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/16617813.jpg

I liked the bit at the end where you lampshaded the inconsistant door design. I chuckled at that.

Omg, Breaks in and lives in the basement ..... STALKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:rainbowlaugh:

I

LOVE

this

story!

I don't usually read as much fim fiction as I would like, but MY GOSH i adore this tail!

And it is because this is EXACTLY how I would respond to waking up in Ponyville. I would Solid Snake the whole scenario as long as possible to figure out how safe it all is.

Oh my gosh, the tension!

I hope they don't find him for a while, because I'm enjoying the sneaking aspect of this story like you wouldn't believe. The short chapters are excellent for the story and I'm enjoying each and every one of them. Never would I have thought Pinkie would've presented as much of a challenge for poor David.

And I love how you work out all his reasoning. It's simply a joy to see how he figures things out, like each mental deduction is a subtle form of action with a low-tension heartbeat trailing it through.

I can't wait to see more of your work! But do take your time.

This is the first-ever fimfiction I've wanted to read past the completed chapters which were already available once I started reading it!

I'm sorry, but is this guy an idiot? I think they would of confused him with a Minotaur at least before he corrected them. I tried going back and reading how he got there, but i am still slamming my head against the wall for his idiocy. I mean really? I think being put in jail would be a better position for him.

I am going to keep reading, just to see what is going to happen to the buffoon.

.......He is so doomed.... The Princess is obviously going to ask Twilight about the letter, she will not know how it got there...so she will use magic, and find him. :facehoof:

If doing this, LEAVE THE LIBRARY! Safer to live in the branches of the tree than in the basement, altho not by much...

A story where the protagonist abandons all common sense and becomes a creepy stalker.. I don't really see the appeal.

What's worse, walking into a town where everyone would be afraid of you, but probably wouldn't make too much of a fuss, or being found in the basement of the monarch's star pupil and making borderline crazy journal entries?

Creepy.

1451974 Perhaps a perplexing problem of preposterous proportions. The Pink Party Pony pairing with the protagonist... A perfect plot point.


Proceed.:pinkiehappy:

1454141 I always think it is silly when people think Pinkie would be fat anyways, she eats a lot of sweets, but she also hops everywhere. Imagine doing your daily errands by hopping to the groceries store, hopping to post office box, hopping to your friends house. I think she burns off those cupcakes pretty quick. She also partys pretty freaking hard.

Personally I think he should have used basic common sense on building a shelter as well as to find some food, though to just go at night to get food the way he is doing it and have the shelter somewhere remote and conceld, the forest is a good bet but more towards a place like Fluttershy's area. Not near her but in a place similar yet far away and close enough to walk to town, though I live in the suburbs and have a knack for learning and building things out of whatever, David is from the city but that doesn't really mean he doesn't have common sense to build a simple tent or box out of twigs and grass anyone can do it given time, but its your story and I love it, a little too short though.

chances are that Celestia sends the message to Twilight to decipher: high

1455457
Exactly.

That was the problem. Being dropped into an alien world with very little time to prepare and act. Instead of braving the Everfree Forest (he doesn't have earth pony strength, flight, or magic, remember, so any number of those creatures in there could be deadly) or just sleeping in the grass, he managed to remember a free room inside of an actual house to use.

This came at a price, and that is why Twilight is not an option for approach. He knows she would likely kick his arse if she found out "oh hey I broke into your house and slept in your basement, sorry" :derpytongue2:

I appreciate all the feedback, good and bad. Some people have been kind enough to keep any negative comments civil and constructive, and to that I say thanks. I guess I should've labeled this as a bit of a comedy as well. Some things are done for entertainment purposes.

Expect new chapters later tonight.

Foolproof plan, David. There's no way that could possibly backfire.
:trollestia:
Nah, but seriously, enjoyable story so far. It would be quite challenging to be teleported to a cartoon reality, and I doubt many could do better.

Seems okay so far. Not the average HiE story, so that's a bonus.
Little to no typos or grammar problems (hallelujah!), which, I guess, comes with the short chapters; in which errors are easier to spot.
Having no dialogue helps to set this apart from other fics even more so. You wouldn't believe how annoying and tedious internal monologues can get sometimes.

If there is one thing that could be done better, it would be the amount of words. There was no transition between destinations as he travelled: he went from where he started, to Fluttershy's cottage, to Ponyville, and then to Twilight's library. Some description could have been invested there.

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