• Member Since 4th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Garuda IV

Easy-going brony trying his hand at writing.


Dark Flame is a young unicorn stallion who works as the local blacksmith and has protected his home village of Stonewall from constant dragon raids, earning him the title, Dragon Slayer. But when a dragon thought to be a myth attacks, Dark is left the lone survivor and loses consciousness during the fight against the mythical dragon. When he awakens, he finds himself in a hospital with a part of his memory missing, a few bodily changes, and six mares who have questions for him.

Now trying to rebuild his life, Dark will learn about his new body, try to regain his lost memories, and attempt to live a new life of peace apart from his old life of near constant fighting and survival. Though if only it were that easy. New friends will be made, secrets revealed, enemies both new, old, and supposedly dead will rise, a love will blossom, and a ghost from Dark's past will threaten to destroy what little left he holds dear to him.

This is my first fic, and any constructive criticism or advice would be appreciated in helping improve my writing, and in turn, the story itself.

Featured: 6/24/16:pinkiegasp:

Chapters (100)
Comments ( 1777 )

a dragon none the less was talking to him
might want to fix that

also when something is thinking put it as a single (') not (") if that helps
and thanks the avatar link

6490536 Huh. Thought that's what I was doing, but thanks for telling me and I'll be shure to keep a closer eye on that and work on those problems. Also your welcome.

Heheh, I like the Monty Python reference. And you should let someone pre-read or edit your chapter for I found quite a few mistakes. But other than that I like it so far, I hope to see more of you.

*salutes* Private Derpy signing out!

6497915 Like I said in the author's note, this is my first fic and right now I'm trying to get by with what I can do on my own, seeing as I'm new to this site account wise and don't know anyone. However if you know of someone who would be willing to help then I'll be happy to receive it. I have a lot of plans for this story already set and it would be to sad if I had to cancel due to it not being up to standard.:fluttercry:

6498462 Thanks for the positive comment. Feel like this chapter turned out better then the last, although this one I didn't write after working a triple shift at work so that probably had something to do with it.:rainbowlaugh:

I wasn't being negative about your story but I just wanted to point out some minor mistakes, Which happens to all of us me included. Sadly I do not know anyone who is willing to do the pre-reading and/or editing, I would do it myself but since i have not that much free time on my hands I'm not able to perform such a task.
I just want to finish this comment stating that I still like the story even in it's unedited state. :twilightsmile:

*salutes* Private Derpy, signing out once again.

6500650 I'm sorry, I should have been a bit more specific on my comment. By no means did I think you were being negative and I'm sorry if it seemed like I was.:fluttershysad: I did say after all that constructive criticism was encouraged and I am re-looking over the chapters constantly to look for any mistakes or just pondering what I could have done better. But in the end I do thank you for the warning on my mistakes and am attempting to better prep. the chapters before I release them. Also, thanks for offering the pre-reading and/or editing, but I completely understand that you have your own stuff to take care of so no worries, and thank you for the support.:twilightsmile:

Also, I have a second story set up just incase this one doesn't make it. This is the other story I mentioned in the description, though I do hope this current story will pick up a bit both in quality and approval.

I have one thing to say to you. And that is a mistake that occurred quite a few times within this chapter and others before.
Instead of shure it's supposed to be sure without the 'h'. It's somewhat confusing but not mind breaking.
Good chapter non the less and I hope to see an update soon.

Private Derpy signing out!

6515606 Thank you for telling me. I'll be sure to correct this immediately. Also, thanks for the support. You bringing up mistakes like this shows your interest in this story and helps me with continuing and improving it.

6535409 Yes? No? Maybe so? You'll have to wait for future chapters to find out. Spike however, well, good luck trying to figure it out for him.:moustache:

6490536 Actually, it's a more common industry practice for authors to use unquoted italicized text for people's thoughts.

(& yes, I know I'm violating that rule with my own story--however, that is supposed to be representing my characters sending 'telepathic speech' to others, where there's no real "industry standard" to that sort of thing.):pinkiehappy:

6553774 Thanks for telling me. It should be a quick fix which I'll get on right away.

I'm sorry, but I must gripe.

That's Ancalagon The Black.

Ancalagon the Fucking. Black.

Biggest dragon in Middle Earth.

Why are you using him for... Not him?

In reality this is a pretty trivial complaint, but, I like complaining.

This is not that bad of a story. Bit of a grind getting past the first chapter or two, but the writing quality does get better as more chapters pass. Will be interesting to see how this story progresses and see its quality raise and more chapters come out.

6589162 No offense taken. I tried thinking of a look for Nocturne and that picture was what spoke to me. Didn't know where it came from, but thanks to you I now know.
6589960 I'll openly admit that the first chapter wasn't my best work. Got a bit too excited in releasing my very first fic. that I kinda shot myself in the foot... actually more like I unloaded the entire clip.:rainbowlaugh: Still though, I've been going back to tune-up a few things to help fix what I screwed up.

6499861 you forgot to switch off the italics near the end there.

6607357 Thanks for telling me. Found the problem and fixed it.

6630014 Compared to what I have in mind for future chapters, I thought that this was rather mellow. Though I probably shouldn't say any more, less I accidentally spoil something.:pinkiecrazy:

Still though, thanks for the support, and keep an eye out for the next chapter. I should have it out by the next few days... if Fallout 4 doesn't keep interfering with my writing anyway.:rainbowlaugh:

I liked this chapter. Now we wait for the next....

6642459 Thanks for the compliment. I was a little nervous when writing this chapter, but it's good to see that it's turning out to be more positive then I'd thought.

Keep up the good work, hoping for a new chapter soon :)

6679121 Thank you for the compliment.:twilightsmile:
Also, new chapter will be up very soon.

6680005 6680916 With a scene this big, it'll probably take a little longer to write up, so expect it somewhere around Friday or Saturday. Also, might split it as a two-parter, depending on how nuts I decide to go with it.

When pinkie was all like "you'll see" I was laughing my ass off. Also good job.

6695429 Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.:pinkiesmile:

Oh crap. Shit just went DOWN! Loved it!

Yay gonna read the next chapter...*sees it needs to update.*

6711566 6711851 6713462 Thanks everyone, glad that you're all enjoying it. Hopefully I'll keep meeting your expectations. Also, if anyone has any questions on why I did, or didn't do something in the story, feel free to ask.

Now... if only we had an emote with Pinkie Pie and her moustache.

Starcraft with the Zerg rush

6717050 Finally, someone who noticed it. Nice job.

Shining is an ass. I dont like him already.

Shining you fucking idiot.

I don't think this is gonna end well...

Dark VS Shining. Who will win?

me to shining.
Shining you are dismissed.
Shining: "What? Why!?"
Me:Because your a horrible excuse for a royal guard that's what!

There's a reason for why he's acting like this, but it won't be revealed till a later chapter. In the meantime, I hope that everyone enjoyed, and good luck guessing why Shining has such a grudge.

6738578 You'll just have to wait and find out. But you're right, it won't end very well.

6741359 You'll just have to wait and find out.:twilightsmile: And while I won't give any direct answer due to not wanting to spoil anything, I will admit that you're somewhat on the right track.

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