//------------------------------// // A Man, a Farmer, and a Pinkie // Story: Day One // by Miniscule Literary //------------------------------// Technicalities, formalities, and inconsistencies oh my! David awoke slowly the next morning, much to his surprise. He figured he would be awoken by Pinkie's peculiar habits, but strangely she was no where to be found. Glancing at one of the windows, he found it to be just after dawn once again, the early morning sun filtering beautifully into the room, casting strange shapes of light onto the floor in front of him. He was still situated underneath the balcony, huddled against the wall. He found it amazing he had slept so readily in such a position, with the prospect of a semi-normal bed just upstairs. He must've been quite tired from a day of...waiting. But where had Pinkie disappeared to? It was too early for her to be working. Perhaps she had other plans- Wait. ...Why had he remained in Sugarcube Corner? He had every intention, just last night, of departing for the library as soon as the sun set. Not only did he doom himself to another day of being trapped in the pink pony's room, he was also forced to ask more from his new friend. He felt terrible, even though he was sure Pinkie would have no problem with him staying another day. As David tried to pinpoint the exact moment he had suffered brain damage (he had his money on his discovery by Pinkie, but he had been making stupid decisions long before that), he almost didn't notice the sound of voices coming up the stairs. It took a few moments for the voices to drown out his internal squabblings, prompting him to lay as flat as he could against the ground. The shadow cast by the balcony above was useful in his attempt to hide, but it wouldn't take more than a passing glance to notice he was there. Immediately he surveyed his options, of which there were few. A small couch lay just ahead of him along the wall, lifted a few feet off the ground by thin legs. He would have considered it a place to sleep if it wasn't covered in wrapping paper, disassembled boxes, and glitter. But it would serve him yet. Pulling himself across the ground with each grasping reach, he slowly and silently slid toward the back of the couch, just as the owners of the voices reached the room. One was Pinkie's, that much he could tell, but she was not alone. As David took shelter behind the couch, he could only see the legs of the ponies beyond, though it was more than enough to identify the visitor. Applejack, of all ponies, had come to visit Pinkie. And the pink pony herself seemed completely fine with it. No attempt to get Applejack to leave, no hasty explanation as to why, exactly, she needed to. It was as if the earth pony had forgotten their deal, again. But it was a Pinkie Promise! She would never defy such a sacred oath. He couldn't worry about that now. He needed to maintain his cover. The plan was simple: cower behind the couch and pray Applejack did not find him. Compared to his other plans, this one was gold. Applejack seemed to be looking for something. The man watched the orange pony's hooves as she moved around, humming nonchalantly to herself. Some strange force compelled him to glance to his side, however. A pink pony with hair like cotton candy greeted him as he did, staring determinedly out in Applejack's direction. The man nearly had a heart attack. "Pinkie!" he hissed, catching the earth pony's attention. "What the h-...what are you doing here?!" "Why are we whispering?" Pinkie Pie responded with an exaggerated whisper, grinning innocently at David. "Because I don't want Applejack to find me!" he hissed back, turning his focus back on the wandering orange pony ahead of them. "Oooh, are we playing hide and seek?!" "No!" he scolded with another quick whisper. "I told you not to tell them I'm here!" "I didn't Mr. David! I Pinkie Promised. Applejack just came by to borrow some stuff!" Pinkie acted as if this situation was no big deal. It probably wasn't acting. "But...but...!" David tried to argue, but he couldn't find the words to describe how the pink pony had wronged him, probably because, in truth, she didn't. Loopholes. They seemed to be a serious problem with Pinkie Promises. As the man watched Applejack search in silence, Pinkie's attention was elsewhere. Suddenly, the earth pony rose, toppling the couch forward in the process, spilling the various objects that had rested upon it in a small torrent of noise. "Applejack! I found it!" she called enthusiastically as she pointed to a strand of rope barely visible from behind one of the dressers, having no regard for the man attempting to hide. It took everything in David not to curse like a sailor. "Oh, thank ye Pinkie, ah-Hey!" he heard Applejack say. Game over. The man launched himself from behind the toppled couch and ran to the other end of the room, trying to circle around Applejack to fulfill some futile hope of freedom. "Oh no ya don't, ya varmint!" In a moment, the rope Applejack had been searching for was in her teeth and spinning skillfully above her head. In another, said rope was wrapped tightly around David's forearms, pinning his arms to his sides. The earth pony yanked back hard on the rope, flooring the man with ease. He struggled to free himself from the rope, but in seconds, he found himself bound at the legs too. Well, at least she didn't hog tie him. Not yet at least. "Wait wait, I can talk, I can talk!" David pleaded, hoping the revelation would again work in his favor as he tried to worm his way to the stairs. With one hoof on his back, that futile effort was ended. "Ah don't care if ya can talk! You're what they call that 'monkey monster', aintcha?" Applejack questioned, though it didn't seem like she'd listen to reason even if he had anything to say. She was right, after all. He was the monkey monster. "I like this game!" he heard Pinkie say, hopping excitedly over to the two. "Me next, me next!" "Pinkie, what was this here monster doing in your room?" "Oh, he's not a monster. He's a David! I mean, a human named David. Right Mr. David?" "That is correct!" the man chimed in, prompting Applejack to put more weight on his back. "Ah don't care what he is! What's he doin' in your room, Pinkie? He's dangerous!" "Nah, he's a good friend! He's been staying with me because he doesn't have a home, which is really sad I mean, who DOESN'T have a nice cozy bed to sleep in?!" Applejack seemed to pause for a moment to analyze what Pinkie was trying to say. "He's not a mean old monster from the Everfree Forest, Applejack! He's just a weird talking human-thing!" "I'll take that as a compliment," David once again chimed in, though this time Applejack did not punish him for speaking. "Then why has he been sneakin' all over Ponyville, scarin' the townsfolk half to death?" the orange pony retorted, her confusion over the situation evident on her features. Pinkie did not seem to have an answer. "...Because I didn't want to be tied up and held captive?" David answered for himself. Both Applejack and Pinkie Pie considered this answer with a thoughtful "hmm". "Trust me, I didn't want to sneak around like I did. I just didn't know how you pony folk would take my presence here," he argued calmly, hoping the farmer would see reason. "I'm...not from around here, as you can tell." The room went silent. Pinkie glanced excitedly between the two as David laid helplessly on the floor. Applejack was staring thoughtfully at one of the windows, her hoof gently tapping her chin. "Ah still don't trust ya. But if Pinkie says you're a friend, ah guess ah can let ya go." Success! Applejack swiftly and skillfully unbound David, wrapping up the rope into a coil within seconds. The man stood up slowly, stretching out all his limbs to make sure they were still intact. A little bruised, but otherwise OK. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to help convince the others?" David asked Applejack, who seemed to be preparing to leave. "Nope." "And I don't suppose you'd be willing to keep my existence here a secret?" "Nope." Damn it all.