Pink and Progress
Friendship is a much deeper connection than it may seem. Friends know when friends are troubled. Good friends, anyway...
David awoke late the next day, partially not by intention. He expected to, as usual, be awoken by Pinkie's perplexing morning ritual. He had grown quite dependent on it; on those few (but consistent) days that she did not perform it, he usually gave himself a few extra hours of sleep. When situations like his current predicament popped up, he found it quite jarring.
The man slowly sat up with a yawn, stretching his arms high above himself. His body protested loudly as always. It was only then did he open his eyes, and what he saw almost made him yell out in surprise. Pinkie was standing directly in front of him, her face almost inches from his own. Her wide eyes stared deeply into his, causing him a great deal of discomfort.
"Uh...good morning?" David said with some hesitation, scooting back a few feet from the pink pony. She advanced slowly in response.
"Good morning," she replied simply. A simple enough greeting. For any pony other than Pinkie Pie, it would've been acceptable. But there was no excessive volume, no enthusiastic tone. It was subdued...uncomfortably so.
"Any particular reason as to why you are stalking me?" David asked with a nervous chuckle, holding his blanket up closer to his face as a barrier between himself and the advancing pink pony.
"Oh, no reason. I was just looking for some comp-"
"OK that's about enough life for me for one day!" the man interrupted, throwing himself back in a frenzied attempt to stand. He was pressed against the back of the balcony, on the opposite side from the stairs. He slowly looked over to the railing, peering uneasily over the side. Well, he had done crazier things...
Hoisting himself over the railing, David fell to the wooden floor below with a loud thunk. Thankfully, unlike his descent from the window many days prior, he landed shakily on his feet, making the jump rather painless. Immediately he turned to look up at the balcony, though his quarry had apparently disappeared. Almost simultaneously, the pink pony appeared at the top of the stairs leading into the room itself, smiling widely as she hopped into the room.
"Wha-how the-...How do you do that?" David asked, though he knew better than to expect a helpful response.
"Do what Mr. David?" she asked cheerily. Of course.
"Nevermind," he sighed, rubbing his temples. "Are you OK, Pinkie? You're acting a bit...strange."
"Never felt better!" she replied with a grin. She paused. "Am I really acting strange? I didn't think I was!"
She seemed to be fine now. Her usual enthusiasm had evidently returned.
"I...don't know any more," the man mumbled, slowly seating himself on a nearby couch. "I think I may be coming down with something."
At this, Pinkie bolted over to him, placing a hoof on his forehead before he could understand what had just happened. She made a thoughtful "hmm" before she retracted the limb.
"You don't seem to have a fever," she began. Another pause. "Can humans get fevers?" she asked innocently, apparently in deep thought.
"Yes I believe we can," David replied with an amused smirk. Definitely back to normal.
The two made their way downstairs shortly after. Pinkie was off to work, and David was off to do whatever it is he intended to do. He wasn't quite sure about the details. He was rather hungry, so food might very well be his first stop. The only problem with this plan was, of course, the fact that he was flat broke. Thankfully he was staying in a bakery, and was rooming with a baker.
Thus, David remained in Sugarcube Corner, wandering around the store while he waited for the opportunity to strike. He once again avoided the public areas of the store, just in case his presence might lose the Cakes a few customers. After ten minutes of stacking plastic blocks with the twins in the other room, he noticed that Pinkie was manning the front desk. The time for action had come.
David slowly and stealthily circled around to the back of the counter using the rooms that ran alongside and behind the public area of the store. Crouched low to the ground, he slowly hobbled to where Pinkie was standing, a few customers poking around the store ahead.
"Psst!"
Pinkie seemed to acknowledge the noise, though she looked in every direction and at every angle except the one he was in.
"Over here..."
Pinkie finally looked down at him, and grinned. "Hiya Mr. David!" she greeted him happily. "Whatcha doin' down there?"
"Don't want to scare any customers," he explained briefly, hoping it would be enough. "I was wondering: do you think I could get some food? I don't want to impose on you and Cakes any more than I have already, but I'm afraid I don't have money to buy any myself."
Pinkie blinked. "Of course you can!" she replied with a smile, pulling a small "be back in 5" sign from seemingly no where, which she placed on the counter. "You should've joined us at breakfast!"
"Sorry, I overslept."
The pink pony bounced off to the kitchen behind him. He followed without hesitation, practically drooling at the possibility of food. It had been quite a few days since he had last eaten, after all. After a few minutes of fumbling around, Pinkie eventually retrieved a glorious slice of cake for him, as well as a bottle of soda.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you," David said very quickly, taking his spoils hungrily.
"No problem Mr. David!" Pinkie replied with a smile before she bounced off toward the front of the store. David took his meal into the other room, putting little thought into the fact ponies actually had forks. Surely only unicorns would be able to use them effectively.
In no time at all, the slice of cake had been decimated and the soda had been drained. Placing what was left in the trash (the plate and fork were plastic), David left Sugarcube Corner a very satisfied man. Pony food, or at least their baking, was noticeably more delicious than the food he was used to. And he had eaten some pretty high quality stuff over the years.
The matter of what to do with the rest of his day once again rose up before him. He thought of trying to reach out to the ponies once again, considering he made very little progress the day prior due to surprise kidnapping. The thought of going back to Sweet Apple Acres was not particularly appealing, however, on the off chance the events of the past day repeating themselves. He hoped that he was off their radar now, but he could not be certain.
Thus, his choices were either Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, or Rainbow Dash. He was tempted to check up on Twilight to see if she had heard anything from the Princess, though he figured she would have shared it with him already if she had. After a few minutes of consideration, he found Rarity to be the most suitable option, and set off toward Carousel Boutique.
After a few knocks, Rarity greeted him at the door, her response to his presence considerably more comfortable compared to the last time he had visited.
"You're not here for more clothes, are you?" Rarity asked, raising a brow.
"No, I'm here to ask if you needed any help around the shop," he explained with a nod. "I felt bad I couldn't pay you for what you gave me, so I figure its the least I can do." He wasn't entirely lying.
"I told you, darling, it was a gift!"
"Then consider this a favor, rather than payment," David retorted with a smile. The unicorn returned the gesture, and allowed him entrance. As he followed Rarity toward the back of the store, he noticed a few strange looking mannequins. Strange to see in Ponyville, anyway. It was if Rarity was trying to create human mannequins to work on.
"I was so inspired by what I made, that I tried to learn as much as I could about human posture in relation to fashion," she explained as he approached, draping a piece of fabric across her neck. A pair of glasses were positioned at the end of her snout as the unicorn squinted down at her work, which was laid out in front of her on a table. "This visit of yours is less 'help around the shop' and more 'model my experiments for me'," she explained, grinning innocently at him.
"Seems I showed up at the right time."
David spent the next few hours doing just as Rarity intended. Some of her experiments were rather strange; she seemed to be attempting to recreate his jeans, with no such luck. Her more successful ventures usually involved shirts, most of which were as stunning as the one he currently wore. He hoped that, should she succeed in creating more clothes, him being the only human in Equestria might qualify him for automatic ownership.
He brought up the matter of socks, and was surprised that Rarity actually knew what he was talking about. He wasn't entirely sure socks had been considered canon or not. The idea of making some for a human was an entirely different story, however, although Rarity was up for the challenge once more. He contemplated asking her about making him some underwear, but due to his...unique condition, he decided to avoid that awkwardness altogether.
A few hours later, he departed from the boutique feeling quite accomplished. Rarity seemed quite comfortable around him now, and he felt rather safe calling her a true friend. One more ally in Equestria. He hoped to gain as many as he could during his stay, and had a long way to go, but it was a start. It gave him hope that perhaps in time, all of Ponyville would regard him as normal. He hoped the staring would stop soon, at least.
As he made his way through the streets of Ponyville, he eventually caught sight of Pinkie walking in his direction. He was rather surprised to see her outside Sugarcube Corner; she always seemed to disappear for most of the day when she wasn't working or in the room. Soon enough she caught sight of him too, and immediately he felt a sense of dread. She was smiling at him, but not the normal Pinkie smile of unconditional happiness. This was a sly smile, one he had seen earlier today, in fact.
Instinctively, he ran. Far, far away.
"I managed to lose her by looping around Ponyville a few times. I'm not entirely sure she was following me, but I really wasn't paying attention to anything at that point. By the time I returned home to Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie was waiting in the room. She was her usual bubbly self by that point. What the hell is up with that pony?"
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Dude, you're being followed by a changeling. FUCKING RUN!
(Either that, or Clopfics are infecting the universe... which also means "FUCKING RUN"... well, for most people.)
Looks like pinkie has her prank face on
Nopony...and I mean nopony can explain how Pinkie Pie works. She just does. Deal with it.
1554156
Too true...
one word
ponycraft.net/wp-content/forum-image-uploads/nobe_oddy/2012/06/170374-ancient_aliens-changeling-conspiracy-Giorgio_Tsoukalos-meme.jpg
just gotta be
Words cannot express my love for this story, so have a yay.
yay!
1554217
If that's a spoof off the "aliens" dude, then you just made my day with that picture.
And if there is one pony I think i could ever truly fear, it's Pinkie Pie.
awesome
1554162 i'd have to say both
pinkie is watching...............always watching
Pinkie:*comes up behind me* "yes i am"
RainChaser: "OH DEAR GOD"
1554255
1554264 no not at all
im currently typing this in my closet to hide from pinkie
Pinkie: Found you! *maniacal laughter*
RainChaser: *runs out the closet screaming* what do you want from me!!!!???
I are make no guesses as what happen. I shall wait for the next chapter eagerly!
I think, David should check, if Sugarcube Corner has an basement or not. IMMEDIATELY!
1554283
Uh. Stop, drop and roll? No, wait wait. . . strip, and bare yours. . . agh, no! Oh, got it!
Tell her you want a 'Pinkie Is chasing Me Everywhere Party'!
And if that does not work . . . bend over, and kiss your flank goodbye?
1554319 Ponies have no genitals and the universe glitched to avoid dealing with it... I don't think it would allow serial killing and cannibalism.
Great read this befor bed, now I will have nightmare's of Pinkei Pie rapeing me. Thanks alot.
Maybe... Pinkie is aware of the inconsistencies? If so, it would definitely make sense, as she already can break the fourth wall, she may already know about it, and began to smile like that because she found his journal!!!
1554144 Yep. Still means run.
1554426 Yup. BTW, good Halo/MLP story thus far.
1554432 Thanks!
1554456 You're welcome... i'm also trying to do a crossover (well, two, but one is on hiatus), but it's hard to make any improvements when no-one comments. Ever have that problem?
Why do I think pinkie has control over the universe? Including the genitals hur hur hur
Its alen mind controll
SHE WANTS THE D
It's just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie... I hope.
Pinkie might just be looking for a good prank ... then again ... Who in Equestria knows? It's PINKIE PIE we're talking about here! For all we know she somehow figure out his birthday or maybe ...
(insert awkward silence here)
She's right behind me isn't she ...?
1554283 She probably wants to throw you a party.or rape you.
David: HELP ME!!!!!!
Random Pony: *Calls from the Everfree Forest* THIS WAY!!!!
David: THANK YOU!!!! *Runs into the Everfree Forest*
Random Pony: *Steps out the shadows* HIYA MR. DAVID!!!!!!
David: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Me:
Unsure if it be Sensual, or Crazy Pie.
OH man I don't know what's wrong with pinkie but MAYBE she's got a thing for humans?
or she's a changeling.
1554461
All to often. But that is partialy my fault for the lack of updates to comment on.
its Pinkamena
I'm guessing Pinkie found and read the journal - perhaps repeatedly if the universe keeps trying to erase her memory of it. If anything is going to demolish physics, it's gonna be that combination of Pinkie Pie + The Journal.
1554283
Well obviously, she wanted you to come out of the closet.
-
1555020
Could be both.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRr
Okay, looks like David is rooming with either a changeling or a serial killer. Dear Celestia, he's going to be on the ground floor of a 'Cupcakes' massacre
I think "avoid Pinkie" is generally something one should take care to do.
1555096 Perhaps, but i did have a couple of chapters already published, which is ripe enough for scrutiny
Okay, I'm going to try compiling the facts that I am aware of:
Apparently, ponies are capable of reproduction, but at the same time, thinking about it too hard causes the
gameworld to glitch.Pinkie had a 'strange smile' on her face and wanted some company.
This 'strange smile' comes and goes... like a glitch.
Well... I can see one of four reasons.
1. Pinkie is... Umm... in heat?(Never read a clop fic. Heard the term a couple times in HiE fics) --- In this case, why run? Not like you have anything she can use, Davy-boy... Unless she has the secrets for making it reappear, or something.
2. Changeling. --- In this case,yeah... Run. Run fast, run far, make a hammer, and clonk fake!Pinkie on the head. Cartoon physics will take care of the rest.
3. She's trolling you. --- She is a notorious prankster, after all.
4. She's trying to get you in an out-of-the-way area so she can brutally murder you. Being diced up and put into cupcakes are optional. --- Yeah... Run.
Or you could go with my new alternative of "Twilight did it.", which works, even when it doesn't.
...Did I miss anything?
Pinkie makes sure the natural world stays in order and Mr. David is messing with forces he doesn't understand.
"If I prick your finger Mr. David do you bleed?"
1554144
No, Clopfics infesting the universe means it's time to induce "Heat" into the ponies... if you know what I mean.
...
...
...
I mean burn Ponyville to the ground, letting the fire purge the sins.
1555903
You speak as if sex is a horrible crime against nature. Eh, whatever, that's a topic i'm not willing to touch unless someone has some really REALLY deep seated interests in the name of the game...
1555932
... Sex a crime against nature?
No.
I got a problem with poor story, unrealistic characters, interactions that consist less of well-written dialogue and more along the lines of moaning... Yes, there are clopfics out there that are okay. However, most of the ones that I've seen are just awful.
Can't wait to see where this goes...
1555972
... kinda makes me wonder how many you've read. But i'm not one to pry.
Though I haven't read many (just a couple out of curiosity), I can probably agree to an extent. It all really depends on the writer though. If the writer is decent (that can portray good characterizations, atmosphere, themes, emotions, etc), then the fic, regardless if it features sex or not, should be decent. Bad writers (even mediocre ones) will undoubtedly write bad (clop)fics...
So, yeah, just avoid bad writers, and you should be fine.
1554144 Well, if clopfics and...Certain parts... Are showing up, then my guess is Pinkie's going into heat. Or she's falling in love with him (which could lead to a clopfic or not, I'm really not sure on that one). Lastly, she could also be turning into Pinkamena, which would probably not be a clop(able)fic.
1556005
I was kinda using the idea of clop-fics in relation to the suspicious nature of the situation in question as a joke as to what might happen later. I'm not rooting for or booing against anything, to be quite frank.
1554461 Hate to say this, but no.
Just depends on what kind of crossover you write. I'll be happy to check them out; reading's usually much easier than writing, so it won't be too big of a problem.
1556064
The one i'm more interested in getting a critique on is "Miracle for the Cursed", which is a Legacy of Kain crossover, starring one of the supporting characters in the series when he's propelled through a portal that is supposed to lead to absolute hell, and instead land in an alley in Canterlot...