• Published 16th Oct 2012
  • 16,860 Views, 1,592 Comments

Day One - Miniscule Literary



A man surviving in a cartoon world. Its not as easy as one might think.

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Pink and Progress

Friendship is a much deeper connection than it may seem. Friends know when friends are troubled. Good friends, anyway...

David awoke late the next day, partially not by intention. He expected to, as usual, be awoken by Pinkie's perplexing morning ritual. He had grown quite dependent on it; on those few (but consistent) days that she did not perform it, he usually gave himself a few extra hours of sleep. When situations like his current predicament popped up, he found it quite jarring.

The man slowly sat up with a yawn, stretching his arms high above himself. His body protested loudly as always. It was only then did he open his eyes, and what he saw almost made him yell out in surprise. Pinkie was standing directly in front of him, her face almost inches from his own. Her wide eyes stared deeply into his, causing him a great deal of discomfort.

"Uh...good morning?" David said with some hesitation, scooting back a few feet from the pink pony. She advanced slowly in response.

"Good morning," she replied simply. A simple enough greeting. For any pony other than Pinkie Pie, it would've been acceptable. But there was no excessive volume, no enthusiastic tone. It was subdued...uncomfortably so.

"Any particular reason as to why you are stalking me?" David asked with a nervous chuckle, holding his blanket up closer to his face as a barrier between himself and the advancing pink pony.

"Oh, no reason. I was just looking for some comp-"

"OK that's about enough life for me for one day!" the man interrupted, throwing himself back in a frenzied attempt to stand. He was pressed against the back of the balcony, on the opposite side from the stairs. He slowly looked over to the railing, peering uneasily over the side. Well, he had done crazier things...

Hoisting himself over the railing, David fell to the wooden floor below with a loud thunk. Thankfully, unlike his descent from the window many days prior, he landed shakily on his feet, making the jump rather painless. Immediately he turned to look up at the balcony, though his quarry had apparently disappeared. Almost simultaneously, the pink pony appeared at the top of the stairs leading into the room itself, smiling widely as she hopped into the room.

"Wha-how the-...How do you do that?" David asked, though he knew better than to expect a helpful response.

"Do what Mr. David?" she asked cheerily. Of course.

"Nevermind," he sighed, rubbing his temples. "Are you OK, Pinkie? You're acting a bit...strange."

"Never felt better!" she replied with a grin. She paused. "Am I really acting strange? I didn't think I was!"

She seemed to be fine now. Her usual enthusiasm had evidently returned.

"I...don't know any more," the man mumbled, slowly seating himself on a nearby couch. "I think I may be coming down with something."

At this, Pinkie bolted over to him, placing a hoof on his forehead before he could understand what had just happened. She made a thoughtful "hmm" before she retracted the limb.

"You don't seem to have a fever," she began. Another pause. "Can humans get fevers?" she asked innocently, apparently in deep thought.

"Yes I believe we can," David replied with an amused smirk. Definitely back to normal.

The two made their way downstairs shortly after. Pinkie was off to work, and David was off to do whatever it is he intended to do. He wasn't quite sure about the details. He was rather hungry, so food might very well be his first stop. The only problem with this plan was, of course, the fact that he was flat broke. Thankfully he was staying in a bakery, and was rooming with a baker.

Thus, David remained in Sugarcube Corner, wandering around the store while he waited for the opportunity to strike. He once again avoided the public areas of the store, just in case his presence might lose the Cakes a few customers. After ten minutes of stacking plastic blocks with the twins in the other room, he noticed that Pinkie was manning the front desk. The time for action had come.

David slowly and stealthily circled around to the back of the counter using the rooms that ran alongside and behind the public area of the store. Crouched low to the ground, he slowly hobbled to where Pinkie was standing, a few customers poking around the store ahead.

"Psst!"

Pinkie seemed to acknowledge the noise, though she looked in every direction and at every angle except the one he was in.

"Over here..."

Pinkie finally looked down at him, and grinned. "Hiya Mr. David!" she greeted him happily. "Whatcha doin' down there?"

"Don't want to scare any customers," he explained briefly, hoping it would be enough. "I was wondering: do you think I could get some food? I don't want to impose on you and Cakes any more than I have already, but I'm afraid I don't have money to buy any myself."

Pinkie blinked. "Of course you can!" she replied with a smile, pulling a small "be back in 5" sign from seemingly no where, which she placed on the counter. "You should've joined us at breakfast!"

"Sorry, I overslept."

The pink pony bounced off to the kitchen behind him. He followed without hesitation, practically drooling at the possibility of food. It had been quite a few days since he had last eaten, after all. After a few minutes of fumbling around, Pinkie eventually retrieved a glorious slice of cake for him, as well as a bottle of soda.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," David said very quickly, taking his spoils hungrily.

"No problem Mr. David!" Pinkie replied with a smile before she bounced off toward the front of the store. David took his meal into the other room, putting little thought into the fact ponies actually had forks. Surely only unicorns would be able to use them effectively.

In no time at all, the slice of cake had been decimated and the soda had been drained. Placing what was left in the trash (the plate and fork were plastic), David left Sugarcube Corner a very satisfied man. Pony food, or at least their baking, was noticeably more delicious than the food he was used to. And he had eaten some pretty high quality stuff over the years.

The matter of what to do with the rest of his day once again rose up before him. He thought of trying to reach out to the ponies once again, considering he made very little progress the day prior due to surprise kidnapping. The thought of going back to Sweet Apple Acres was not particularly appealing, however, on the off chance the events of the past day repeating themselves. He hoped that he was off their radar now, but he could not be certain.

Thus, his choices were either Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, or Rainbow Dash. He was tempted to check up on Twilight to see if she had heard anything from the Princess, though he figured she would have shared it with him already if she had. After a few minutes of consideration, he found Rarity to be the most suitable option, and set off toward Carousel Boutique.

After a few knocks, Rarity greeted him at the door, her response to his presence considerably more comfortable compared to the last time he had visited.

"You're not here for more clothes, are you?" Rarity asked, raising a brow.

"No, I'm here to ask if you needed any help around the shop," he explained with a nod. "I felt bad I couldn't pay you for what you gave me, so I figure its the least I can do." He wasn't entirely lying.

"I told you, darling, it was a gift!"

"Then consider this a favor, rather than payment," David retorted with a smile. The unicorn returned the gesture, and allowed him entrance. As he followed Rarity toward the back of the store, he noticed a few strange looking mannequins. Strange to see in Ponyville, anyway. It was if Rarity was trying to create human mannequins to work on.

"I was so inspired by what I made, that I tried to learn as much as I could about human posture in relation to fashion," she explained as he approached, draping a piece of fabric across her neck. A pair of glasses were positioned at the end of her snout as the unicorn squinted down at her work, which was laid out in front of her on a table. "This visit of yours is less 'help around the shop' and more 'model my experiments for me'," she explained, grinning innocently at him.

"Seems I showed up at the right time."

David spent the next few hours doing just as Rarity intended. Some of her experiments were rather strange; she seemed to be attempting to recreate his jeans, with no such luck. Her more successful ventures usually involved shirts, most of which were as stunning as the one he currently wore. He hoped that, should she succeed in creating more clothes, him being the only human in Equestria might qualify him for automatic ownership.

He brought up the matter of socks, and was surprised that Rarity actually knew what he was talking about. He wasn't entirely sure socks had been considered canon or not. The idea of making some for a human was an entirely different story, however, although Rarity was up for the challenge once more. He contemplated asking her about making him some underwear, but due to his...unique condition, he decided to avoid that awkwardness altogether.

A few hours later, he departed from the boutique feeling quite accomplished. Rarity seemed quite comfortable around him now, and he felt rather safe calling her a true friend. One more ally in Equestria. He hoped to gain as many as he could during his stay, and had a long way to go, but it was a start. It gave him hope that perhaps in time, all of Ponyville would regard him as normal. He hoped the staring would stop soon, at least.

As he made his way through the streets of Ponyville, he eventually caught sight of Pinkie walking in his direction. He was rather surprised to see her outside Sugarcube Corner; she always seemed to disappear for most of the day when she wasn't working or in the room. Soon enough she caught sight of him too, and immediately he felt a sense of dread. She was smiling at him, but not the normal Pinkie smile of unconditional happiness. This was a sly smile, one he had seen earlier today, in fact.

Instinctively, he ran. Far, far away.

"I managed to lose her by looping around Ponyville a few times. I'm not entirely sure she was following me, but I really wasn't paying attention to anything at that point. By the time I returned home to Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie was waiting in the room. She was her usual bubbly self by that point. What the hell is up with that pony?"