• Published 16th Oct 2012
  • 16,859 Views, 1,592 Comments

Day One - Miniscule Literary



A man surviving in a cartoon world. Its not as easy as one might think.

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Investigations in Fashion

Answers are rarely given freely. To find the truth, one must search. Truth, however, is not always easy to take.

"Pinkie..." David began, slowly rising, his eyes locked on the pink pony. "Did...when did I get home from the library?"

"Dunno," Pinkie responded as she bounced over to the center of the room. She looked up at him, tilting her head slightly. "When I got back, you were already asleep! Don't you remember walking home Mr. David?"

David shook his head slowly, running a hand nervously through his hair. His mind was racing. What had happened? He was at an interview with Twilight. Celestia had been there initially, asked about his arrival, and departed. Twilight asked a lot of questions, some quite unnecessary. Then he asked a few. He asked about...and then he was back at his room...

Was Twilight responsible? Was she offended by his question, and struck out against him? Surely he would remember the initial attack, at least. Besides, it wasn't exactly in her nature. She was a scientist, and they were two different species. Asking about such things was not childish or perverse in the quest for knowledge; it was simply science.

But he could not know for sure. Everything after his last question was completely missing. It did not hurt to recall that time, as if it was a repressed memory of some sort. It simply did not exist. He needed answers, and Twilight would hopefully provide some. But he needed to proceed carefully, ask the right questions, lest he stumble into another...whatever the hell that was.

As he climbed down the stairs from the balcony, deep in thought, he almost didn't notice the light filtering in from the windows. Morning. He had slept the remainder of the previous day, evidently. This only increased his concern. By now Pinkie had returned to her own strange activities, and merely wished him a happy farewell as he descended the stairs into Sugarcube Corner proper.

A short, determined walk later, he was knocking on the door to the library once again. A few minutes of silence passed before the door was opened. Twilight stood in the doorway, and regarded him with a smile. "Good morning David. Back so soon?"

This wasn't exactly the attitude of someone who attacked him. Already he was getting answers, but he needed more information before he was satisfied.

"Hi Twilight," he began, glancing around worriedly. "Do you mind if I come in?"

"Not at all. I was just doing a bit of tidying up," Twilight explained, trotting back into the library as David followed. The door was closed behind him, no doubt by the unicorn's magic.

"I need to ask you about yesterday. About the interview," David asked tentatively, recoiling a little in anticipation of another blackout. So far, nothing had happened.

"Oh, yes! It was very helpful. I sent the Princess a copy of my notes shortly after you left," Twilight responded happily, returning to one half-emptied bookcase. She began sorting through the books stacked on the floor, swiftly replacing them on their respective shelves.

"Ah. Good," David responded, trying to sound as convincing as possible. In reality, the unicorn's words troubled him. Even she had some recollection of his departure. Why didn't he? He was afraid to ask for details.

"Something wrong, David?"

"Do you remember the questions I asked you?" David questioned tentatively, hoping the ambiguity of the question would prevent a similar disaster.

"Yes, I do. I'm sorry I couldn't help. It seems history involving the time before the Princesses' reign is not my specialty."

She didn't seem like she was purposely avoiding the last question he asked, as if embarrassed, for herself or for him. She acted as if it was never asked. Perhaps it wasn't.

"I see. That's alright, I was just curious. I appreciate the effort," David responded with a weak smile. Twilight returned the smile before returning to her work. "I just wanted to make sure everything went alright. Towards the end there, my memory is a bit foggy..."

"Hmm," the librarian mused aloud, turning to regard him. "That's strange. You seemed fine when you left."

"I think I'll just rest a bit more. Thanks again for the help."

"My pleasure," Twilight replied with another smile, turning back to her books. "Hope you feel better soon!" she called as he exited the library. He sighed. He had a lot on his plate. As if settling in Ponyville wasn't enough of a task.

As he wandered aimlessly through the streets of Ponyville, David ran through a number of possible theories. Perhaps Twilight was part of a very dedicated lie, that involved erasing his memories? Even for him, that sounded paranoid. He noticed now, however, a number of strange things he had seen since his arrival in Ponyville. Stranger, of course, than talking ponies and the like. Things strange even for Equestria. His lack of bodily functions or odor. Inconsistencies and oddities involving structures and ponies alike.

This was a literal world of Equestria, errors and frailties included. It had to be. What didn't exist in canon, didn't exist in the world at all.

Or that was the theory, anyway.

This wasn't as simple as it seemed, however. Ponies have never had to contend with the likes of him. Reacting to humans was, then, not canon. Therefore, his very existence there was a paradox, not unlike what he had caused the night before. And yet here he was. There was something he was missing. There was a line somewhere about what the universe could take, and evidently he crossed it at some point.

Twilight did not know about the origins of the alicorns because she couldn't know. But the universe did not regard that as a paradox; she just didn't know the information. But when he addressed the other issue...it had no way to protect itself.

He felt as if he were going mad.

It took this thought to make him realize that he was standing as still as stone in the middle of the Ponyville market, staring blankly off into the sky. The Equestrians around him gave him a wide berth at this point, growing uneasy. More than usual were staring and whispering, wondering why he was acting as strangely as he was by the sound of it. He cleared his throat nervously and quickly made his way toward the opposite end of the market, in the direction of Rarity's boutique.

David had enough of this metaphysical nonsense. He needed some damn clothes; he had been wearing the same set for over a week now. Although they did not seem any dirtier, he was beginning to feel uncomfortable. Hopefully Rarity would be able to assist him. Although he did not have any money, he didn't see it as a problem. She was the element of generosity, after all.

After the first knock, the door was flung open and Rarity stood before him, grinning wildly.

"Welcome darling! How can I help you today?"

She opened her eyes, and her enthusiastic demeanor faded instantly.

"Oh. David was it?" she said simply, looking up at him with some hesitation. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"I was looking for some clothes, actually," he replied with a smile, hoping it wasn't too outlandish of a request.

"Really?" Rarity replied, thoroughly surprised. "Thankfully for you, I'm not one to shy away from a challenge. Come in, come in!"

The unicorn moved aside to let him in, before shutting the door behind him. The interior of the boutique was almost blinding in its color, much like Pinkie's room, but with a lot more shine. The scent of strong perfume hung in the air. Incredibly intricate patterns, designs, and entire outfits were displayed all around. Rarity truly was a master of her trade.

"Take a seat, darling. I will be right with you."

David sat in the indicated seat (a very expensive looking couch) in silence. A few minutes later, Rarity returned from the depths of the store, a collection of fabric hovering around her. She quickly arranged the supplies in front of him. As he was admiring them, however, the unicorn suddenly stepped between him and the fabric.

"Pardon me for being so forward, dear, but how exactly do you intend to pay for my services?"

Damn.

"I don't have any money, I'll admit," David replied after a moment's hesitation. Rarity's eyes narrowed. "I'm willing to repay you in some other way, though. Information, help, whatever really. I...just don't have any other clothes."

The white mare continued to stare at him intensely for several moments. He was beginning to feel uncomfortable. Suddenly she grinned and turned back toward the fabric.

"Nonsense! I will consider it an act of mercy in the name of fashion. A gift, if you will," Rarity explained, digging around in the fabric with clear determination. David breathed out slowly. Perhaps things would go smoothly after all.

Rarity spent the next half hour taking various measurements while simultaneously asking him a variety of questions. Were the clothes formal or informal? What material would he like them to be made of? What color would he prefer? She seemed almost disappointed with his answers for run-of-the-mill clothing. She wasn't lying when she said she enjoyed a challenge.

And a challenge it was. Designing for a human was very different from designing for a pony. The plain blue jeans he was wearing were all but a mystery to her. She opted for him to simply take them off so she could study them, but he asserted his need for them to remain on, basing his claim on the tradition and honor of his race. She did not press any further after that.

After another hour of poking, prodding, and questioning, Rarity had seemingly gathered all she needed. "You may go if you wish. I should have your clothes ready by sundown."

"Thank you. Good luck," David said with a smile as he headed for the door. He doubted if Rarity even heard him. She was already heading to the back of the boutique to work as he was walking out of the door.

Well, with any luck, that was one problem solved. Only several hundreds remained...