Answers are rarely given freely. To find the truth, one must search. Truth, however, is not always easy to take.
"Pinkie..." David began, slowly rising, his eyes locked on the pink pony. "Did...when did I get home from the library?"
"Dunno," Pinkie responded as she bounced over to the center of the room. She looked up at him, tilting her head slightly. "When I got back, you were already asleep! Don't you remember walking home Mr. David?"
David shook his head slowly, running a hand nervously through his hair. His mind was racing. What had happened? He was at an interview with Twilight. Celestia had been there initially, asked about his arrival, and departed. Twilight asked a lot of questions, some quite unnecessary. Then he asked a few. He asked about...and then he was back at his room...
Was Twilight responsible? Was she offended by his question, and struck out against him? Surely he would remember the initial attack, at least. Besides, it wasn't exactly in her nature. She was a scientist, and they were two different species. Asking about such things was not childish or perverse in the quest for knowledge; it was simply science.
But he could not know for sure. Everything after his last question was completely missing. It did not hurt to recall that time, as if it was a repressed memory of some sort. It simply did not exist. He needed answers, and Twilight would hopefully provide some. But he needed to proceed carefully, ask the right questions, lest he stumble into another...whatever the hell that was.
As he climbed down the stairs from the balcony, deep in thought, he almost didn't notice the light filtering in from the windows. Morning. He had slept the remainder of the previous day, evidently. This only increased his concern. By now Pinkie had returned to her own strange activities, and merely wished him a happy farewell as he descended the stairs into Sugarcube Corner proper.
A short, determined walk later, he was knocking on the door to the library once again. A few minutes of silence passed before the door was opened. Twilight stood in the doorway, and regarded him with a smile. "Good morning David. Back so soon?"
This wasn't exactly the attitude of someone who attacked him. Already he was getting answers, but he needed more information before he was satisfied.
"Hi Twilight," he began, glancing around worriedly. "Do you mind if I come in?"
"Not at all. I was just doing a bit of tidying up," Twilight explained, trotting back into the library as David followed. The door was closed behind him, no doubt by the unicorn's magic.
"I need to ask you about yesterday. About the interview," David asked tentatively, recoiling a little in anticipation of another blackout. So far, nothing had happened.
"Oh, yes! It was very helpful. I sent the Princess a copy of my notes shortly after you left," Twilight responded happily, returning to one half-emptied bookcase. She began sorting through the books stacked on the floor, swiftly replacing them on their respective shelves.
"Ah. Good," David responded, trying to sound as convincing as possible. In reality, the unicorn's words troubled him. Even she had some recollection of his departure. Why didn't he? He was afraid to ask for details.
"Something wrong, David?"
"Do you remember the questions I asked you?" David questioned tentatively, hoping the ambiguity of the question would prevent a similar disaster.
"Yes, I do. I'm sorry I couldn't help. It seems history involving the time before the Princesses' reign is not my specialty."
She didn't seem like she was purposely avoiding the last question he asked, as if embarrassed, for herself or for him. She acted as if it was never asked. Perhaps it wasn't.
"I see. That's alright, I was just curious. I appreciate the effort," David responded with a weak smile. Twilight returned the smile before returning to her work. "I just wanted to make sure everything went alright. Towards the end there, my memory is a bit foggy..."
"Hmm," the librarian mused aloud, turning to regard him. "That's strange. You seemed fine when you left."
"I think I'll just rest a bit more. Thanks again for the help."
"My pleasure," Twilight replied with another smile, turning back to her books. "Hope you feel better soon!" she called as he exited the library. He sighed. He had a lot on his plate. As if settling in Ponyville wasn't enough of a task.
As he wandered aimlessly through the streets of Ponyville, David ran through a number of possible theories. Perhaps Twilight was part of a very dedicated lie, that involved erasing his memories? Even for him, that sounded paranoid. He noticed now, however, a number of strange things he had seen since his arrival in Ponyville. Stranger, of course, than talking ponies and the like. Things strange even for Equestria. His lack of bodily functions or odor. Inconsistencies and oddities involving structures and ponies alike.
This was a literal world of Equestria, errors and frailties included. It had to be. What didn't exist in canon, didn't exist in the world at all.
Or that was the theory, anyway.
This wasn't as simple as it seemed, however. Ponies have never had to contend with the likes of him. Reacting to humans was, then, not canon. Therefore, his very existence there was a paradox, not unlike what he had caused the night before. And yet here he was. There was something he was missing. There was a line somewhere about what the universe could take, and evidently he crossed it at some point.
Twilight did not know about the origins of the alicorns because she couldn't know. But the universe did not regard that as a paradox; she just didn't know the information. But when he addressed the other issue...it had no way to protect itself.
He felt as if he were going mad.
It took this thought to make him realize that he was standing as still as stone in the middle of the Ponyville market, staring blankly off into the sky. The Equestrians around him gave him a wide berth at this point, growing uneasy. More than usual were staring and whispering, wondering why he was acting as strangely as he was by the sound of it. He cleared his throat nervously and quickly made his way toward the opposite end of the market, in the direction of Rarity's boutique.
David had enough of this metaphysical nonsense. He needed some damn clothes; he had been wearing the same set for over a week now. Although they did not seem any dirtier, he was beginning to feel uncomfortable. Hopefully Rarity would be able to assist him. Although he did not have any money, he didn't see it as a problem. She was the element of generosity, after all.
After the first knock, the door was flung open and Rarity stood before him, grinning wildly.
"Welcome darling! How can I help you today?"
She opened her eyes, and her enthusiastic demeanor faded instantly.
"Oh. David was it?" she said simply, looking up at him with some hesitation. "Is there something I can help you with?"
"I was looking for some clothes, actually," he replied with a smile, hoping it wasn't too outlandish of a request.
"Really?" Rarity replied, thoroughly surprised. "Thankfully for you, I'm not one to shy away from a challenge. Come in, come in!"
The unicorn moved aside to let him in, before shutting the door behind him. The interior of the boutique was almost blinding in its color, much like Pinkie's room, but with a lot more shine. The scent of strong perfume hung in the air. Incredibly intricate patterns, designs, and entire outfits were displayed all around. Rarity truly was a master of her trade.
"Take a seat, darling. I will be right with you."
David sat in the indicated seat (a very expensive looking couch) in silence. A few minutes later, Rarity returned from the depths of the store, a collection of fabric hovering around her. She quickly arranged the supplies in front of him. As he was admiring them, however, the unicorn suddenly stepped between him and the fabric.
"Pardon me for being so forward, dear, but how exactly do you intend to pay for my services?"
Damn.
"I don't have any money, I'll admit," David replied after a moment's hesitation. Rarity's eyes narrowed. "I'm willing to repay you in some other way, though. Information, help, whatever really. I...just don't have any other clothes."
The white mare continued to stare at him intensely for several moments. He was beginning to feel uncomfortable. Suddenly she grinned and turned back toward the fabric.
"Nonsense! I will consider it an act of mercy in the name of fashion. A gift, if you will," Rarity explained, digging around in the fabric with clear determination. David breathed out slowly. Perhaps things would go smoothly after all.
Rarity spent the next half hour taking various measurements while simultaneously asking him a variety of questions. Were the clothes formal or informal? What material would he like them to be made of? What color would he prefer? She seemed almost disappointed with his answers for run-of-the-mill clothing. She wasn't lying when she said she enjoyed a challenge.
And a challenge it was. Designing for a human was very different from designing for a pony. The plain blue jeans he was wearing were all but a mystery to her. She opted for him to simply take them off so she could study them, but he asserted his need for them to remain on, basing his claim on the tradition and honor of his race. She did not press any further after that.
After another hour of poking, prodding, and questioning, Rarity had seemingly gathered all she needed. "You may go if you wish. I should have your clothes ready by sundown."
"Thank you. Good luck," David said with a smile as he headed for the door. He doubted if Rarity even heard him. She was already heading to the back of the boutique to work as he was walking out of the door.
Well, with any luck, that was one problem solved. Only several hundreds remained...
This sort of reminds me of Through the Eyes of Another Pony with the whole lack of knowledge thing. The answers arent there because they were never there in the first place.
I'll bet that the Ponyverse has erased David's external reproductive organs.
Wow! The universe is crapping itself. That should end well.
One minor issue I noticed - you said that he didn't need to deal with biological functions because they didn't exist in canon, except they do, or at least urination does as of Last Roundup.
wow, this story updates fast
1503029
That's exactly my thoughts...
Yet, from what I can see this guy doesn't have any way to stop the universe from *blipping* (my word) when he creates a paradox. In TtEoAP the human found loopholes and special powers, but this guy has nothing... I'd go mad.
I am enjoying this immensely
1503047 That would cause David to cry. XD
1503096 ...Fine.
I'll bet that the Ponyverse has erased David's external reproductive organs.
Better?
1503103 XD Not really.
...Also.... Poducken? D: That anything like Turducken? If so.... yick. D:
1503106 Yes, like Turducken. 'Cept with ponies. Ducks are my favorite animals.
1503064
Indeed, this would also means said waste needs somewhere to come out of, which would imply reproductive organs, unless they are vastly different from any other equine...
However I'm willing to accept the premise for the sake of the story, it is rather good and not everything has to be canon.
He ought to team up with this pony: http://askstalkerloo.tumblr.com/post/29956509715/mister-crackpot-says-the-weirdest-things-happy
Oh dear. Paradoxes.
Quick! Call Doctor Whooves!
hmmm that David... is he... dead?
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Also, this was a very interesting and possible-paranoia-inducing chapter.
Something funny's going on. David's gonna get to the bottom of it.
1503122 But why would you stuff a into a turkey into a pony? D:
So is he trapped in his own mind?
Possibly in a coma or some sort?
Interestinger and interestinger
1503235 No, no! See, the Pony and the Duck are fused at the genetic level, hence my profile picture. Like a Horstrich, or an Emuny.
Perhaps he just isn't asking the right questions?
1502376 You and the local priest would get along famously
1502382 Oh, ok
A new mystery.... bring it
!!!!!! We need trixie
1503064
1503129
Actually, it's still fitting into the story.
Pinkie doesn't have the equipment to go to the toilet. The same way Twilight doesn't have the equipment to reproduce. Or Mrs Cake having the equipment to give birth.
It just happens. The scene changes, and it's occurred. So it happens... but it actually hasn't happened.
Pinkie emptied her bladder, but didn't actually go through the act of urination.
Twilight might reproduce, but won't have actually gone through the act of sexual intercourse.
Mrs Cake had children, but didn't actually go through the act of giving birth.
But none of the ponies actually stop and think about it. They're a cartoon, they're not supposed to. But he's an anomaly. And while he can think these things without issue, the ponies cannot.
As soon as the anomaly mentioned the lack of reproduction equipment, Twilight would have stopped and thought, "Wait... he's right, we don't! How are we reproducing!?". To protect itself, what ever that is (canon or the narrative or whatever), the entire thing was written over... by a scene change.
1503244 But where does Scootaloo come into the mix? :P
Errors clean
Hoo boy, metaphysics. *passes out anti head-asplode helmets* Just like time travel, this kinda thing can cause your head asplode if you think too hard.
1503032
My thoughts exactly.
So his memory was erased by the Universe. Seems legit.
Making jeans?
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
Seriouslt, when is the Doctor gonna come and explain things.
I'd do the following, were I in this situation:
1. Check to make sure that I still have my genitals. Apparently I haven't had to use them for days, so who knows?
2. Go have a long conversation with Pinkie, the character who the universe is least likely to care about me dropping bombs on.
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1503739
The Doctor isn't canon, so never.
ITS A PARADOX THERE IS NO ANSWER
1503064 Yes but all she says is i gotta pee maybe she goose into the stall and the fact that she is in there alewives the ingrained need when in fact nothing actually happens
The story has officially reached a new level with these last two chapters. Before it was "Human in Equestria" with a stealth element mixed in - and a makeup scenario afterwards. Now it's getting closer to something you'd see in a weid episode of Doctor Who.
I'm pretty eager to see what happens next. I love this sort of thing.
1504011 Very sad indeed.
Great chapter
Hmm, many possible insane paranoid accusations, for now though, we need more information.
I'm just gonna hold off on theory building for now, way too many possibilities.
1496654 Sheesh man, just making a joke. Calm the fuck down.
Curiouser and curiouser...this is quite engrossing! Keep up the good work!
good stuff
David...you forgot the journal
....seems legit
... How about Celestia? (about the whole black out and forgetting things)
If she simply found David's question not appropriate for her world, like if them can corrupt her "little pony" in a fic named "The best of all possible world".
Basically in that fic she's make a powerfull spell that make feel sick thinking about killing or other bad thing.
Btw sorry for my bad english.
The universe won't allow you to talk about sex...
Seems Legit
1503047
Oh god, why.
I never want to go to equestria anymore.
Well... yeah i do