• Member Since 14th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen January 16th

Jessofages


T

The planet destroyed. The flood gone and the covenant obliterated.
All because of one man, Sergeant J. Forge. The man who literally stared death in the face to save those aboard the 'Spirit of Fire'.
But what if the detonation of the slipspace drive tore a larger than intended hole in the fabric of space, essentially creating a portal to another world.
What if Forge hadn't perished on that day, but awoke to find himself in a completely new and foreign world ?

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 600 )

love halo love mlp and so no surpize love this kind of fic

It`s all right.... please go on.:twilightsmile:

The win...ITS SO MUCH :yay:

Edit: I forgot MORE!

I dont think it got destroyed by dislikes... when its got ten likes already!:derpytongue2:

please continue :duck:

don't stop dude this is amazing i couldn't write a better halo/mlp fic if my life depended on it so keep going:rainbowkiss:

Awesome! Here, have a moustache: :moustache:

You now have my attention... Please continue.

Looks pretty good so far. Only thing I’ll say though is a lot of people think it’s cool to throw a couple of things together and see what happens and it is! However their stories get old after a hand full of chapters because they haven’t thought a good story to apply it to.

Meh. It's okay, I guess.
Not really enough description for my tastes, though.
Well, that and the fact that you got through a decent number of plot points in just under 3,000 words. Slow down!

1470692
Alrighty. I'll do my best to make it more descriptive and I'll attempt to slow it down.

1470717
Don't take what I say too seriously, though. :twilightsheepish:
It's still your story, and you can write in any way you feel comfortable.

1470735
I'll take it on board anyway.
What goods writing if you don't take some advice ? Haha.

Hmmmm....
Words cannot describe what I just read.

1471423
Is that a good or a bad thing ? Haha.

1471450
Nope its horrible.:trollestia:
Just kidding its pretty damn good.

1471470
:facehoof:
Seriously though, I'm glad you like it. :pinkiehappy:

OMG a human from the halo verse that's actually appropriately suspicious of alien ponies!
Very few people seem to get that humans from the halo verse would be xenophobic like crazy but you sir seem to be getting the gist of that in this fic.
Congrats you just earned..
1x watch
1x fave
1x like

Ah a halo wars crossover nice :rainbowdetermined2:

He wasted a bullet shooting an apple out of a tree? :ajbemused:

I know he thinks he is dreaming but come on, and sides a magnum bullet would reduce an apple to a fine mist.

Eh, quick thing; It's spelled Sergeant.

See multicolored human-like residential structures, and cartoon ponies.

IMMEDIATELY ASSUME COVENANT THREAT.

/facedesk

1473282
Yeah, that does seem kinda stupid now I look back at it.
My bad. :facehoof:

just a minor spelling error I'd like to point out, the word is spelt course, not coarse, coarse means rough in appearance and texture, just pointing that out. Is a good story by the way. keep up the good work

I have to say that this is so AWESOME :rainbowkiss: I think ill just fav and watch you.... I like where this is going and its going to turn out to be a great story:pinkiehappy: Keep up the good work and I can't wait for the next Chapter.

1473353
Alrighty, I'll fix that.
That's partially my retard computers fault.
If I miss-spell course the first time, it auto-corrects to coarse on its own for some reason. :facehoof:

It's a bit Cliche so far, but your writing is good, spotted very few grammar mistakes or spelling, so far so good. I'd like to see more of this.

Biggest mistake I spotted was this.

After what felt what felt like hours of laying and observing, Forge found himself fascinated with the colourful creatures going about their business before him.

You repeated "What felt" twice, only big thing I found. Other than that, great job, I wanna see more. :twilightsmile:

You seem to keep putting a space between punctuation marks and the end of a sentence, which isn't right.

"And what might yours be little horse ?"

"Hey Applejack !"

Also, if you want to emphasise a word or phrase, you can use italics instead of apostrophes.

"So, you 'are' an alien."

And, I might be wrong about this, but, with dialogue, you only need to start a new paragraph if a different person is speaking, not each time there's a new sentence

Chapter: Sufficient
Concept: Forge is awesome. Bringing him in is, therefore, awesome.
Status: Continuing to Chapter 2.
WARNING: More death of sentient biological organisms is required.

fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/055/a/0/odst_virgil__happy_by_skipperthepilot-d3a9uu4.png
Keep it clean!

NO! NO! NO! NO!
Opinion: First Contact should have been destructive! Multiple biological organisms should have died from the onslaught of his M6C magnum, let alone his MA5B assault rifle!
Realization: There really aren't any good fictional writings where the pony population is reduced a few hundred individuals.
Magnetic Accelerator Cannon: Charging at a rate of 2 percent. Currently at 73 percent charge capacity.
fc01.deviantart.net/fs46/f/2009/208/b/e/__Superintendent___Sad_by_Saint_Lulu.jpg
Keep it Clean!

:1473533
1473517
halo ODST new Mombasa AI nice

You sir, need a proofreader. I've seen many spelling errors, and grammar too.
otherwise, it would be a nice story ;3

A halo crossover using one of Spirt of Fire cast :twilightsmile: will read later

Halo wars, Hell yeah

Right now it will be in read later stack, spectate me to read this!

Interesting... I shall follow this closely :trixieshiftleft:

As much as people hated on that game i loved forge
so im just gonna fave this. See where its going

Professor Plum
Story Approver

I can honestly say I've never seen this before.
A very rare thing when it comes to Halo Crossovers.
I shall read this, and comment again.
Expect me.

~ScreenedPlum, TWE's Drunk Scotsman
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/thumb/mlfw4597.png

Good, so far, but punctuation is not separated from the word by a space.

See here:

Bananas.

Bananas!

Bananas?

Apples, or bananas?

Use something to mark the transition from the POV of Forge and the Ponies. Or anything, it's quite confusing.

Pile of crap? Well then it must've been from American's Dad Roger because this shit is gold!

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