Try as we might, some things are unavoidable. Inevitable. Un-take-a-back-able.
Darkness. Ah the familiarity. So fresh, yet so distant. He felt as if it had been years since he arrived in Equestria and his perspective of reality melted away. And here he was again, in the same shape. But instead of the rigid texture of grass, smooth breeze, and innocent chirping of birds, he felt only the cold hard floor beneath him. That and...breathing.
Which wasn't his.
Eyes opening, he was immediately greeted by the multicolored floor. A moment later, he was greeted by a splitting headache. With a groan, he rolled over, a hand to his head as he stared up at the ceiling. A bright pink face suddenly appeared at the top of his line of sight, staring down at him with wide eyes and a smile. How adorable this creature was! He felt as though he should be concerned by its presence, though...
"Hi!"
"PINKIE NO!" he cried as he shielded his head with both hands, his legs pulled almost to his chest defensively, as his memory returned. "Wait...what?"
"You can talk?!" the pink pony replied with a sharp, expectant intake of air, her mouth open in a wide smile.
The next few minutes were a blur to David. The earth pony was speaking, but at such a rate that his dazed and disoriented mind couldn't hope to follow. So it didn't. By the time the pink pony finally paused, he had all but entered a coma. The sudden lack of noise, however, snapped him back to his senses.
"I'm sorry...my head...can you say that again...a little slower, please?"
"I was just saying Mr. Monkey that it was just so very incredible that you could talk! I mean, not many animals talk you know! Except Spike, but he's a dragon. I've never seen a monkey talk before! I've never seen a monkey like you before either!"
"Yeah...uh...I'm not a monkey...but I can talk, yes."
This seemed to slow the pacing pony down a bit. "Not a monkey? Then what are you Mr. Monkey? I've never seen one of you! And you can talk! I've never had a monkey friend before!"
"I'm a human. And my name is David."
"David? That's a funny name. And what's a human? Is it a type of monkey? It doesn't sound very monkey-ish to me! But whatever you say Mr. Human! Oh, I mean, David! I'm Pinkie Pie. But you already knew that! That's even funnier, 'cause I don't know you, but you know me!"
"Oh, I just overheard..." he lied, figuring it was best not to go into metaphysical detail just yet.
"Oooh, that makes sense! I know just about everyone in Ponyville. But why are you here in Sugarcube Corner Mr. David? If you want some delicious goods, you'll have to wait until tomorrow!"
"Yeah, sorry. I didn't mean to intrude."
"Oh, no biggy! I was just coming down to get a midnight snack when I found you! You should be more careful next time. You hit your head pretty hard."
"A point well taken. You seem to be handling a...'rare' creature like me rather well, Pinkie Pie."
"I've seen all kinds of weird creatures! But you don't seem so bad. Besides, my Pinkie sense was telling me you were a new friend! That's why I waited for you to wake up."
"Is that so? I thought that was for midnight sn-" he began, before realizing he had obtained such reasoning through less than respectable means. "...Nevermind."
"So that means we're friends now?" the pink pony asked expectantly, though she seemed confident in the answer.
"Sure," David responded with a smile, rubbing his head. "As a friend, I have to ask you for a favor."
"Lay it on me, buddy!"
"Could you keep our meeting a secret? Just for a while."
The pink pony blinked, her expression changing from unconditional happiness to innocent confusion. "I can do that! But I don't know why you wouldn't want anypony to know. My friends are great! I think they'd love to meet you. But whatever you say Mr. David!"
"I appreciate it, Pinkie." He paused. "Do you think I could stay the night here in Sugarcube Corner? I...don't have a place to stay tonight."
The pink pony gasped. "Of course! What do you mean you don't have a place to go?! That's crazy! Everypony should have a nice warm bed to sleep in," Pinkie exclaimed, before suddenly pausing. "Oh, but we don't have any free beds! I can give you a blanket and a pillow though!"
"That'll be just fine, friend," David responded with a nod.
The earth pony (quite enthusiastically) led David through to the upstairs, talking excitedly along the way. The man could do little more than nod and smile most of the time, though he did not a drop in Pinkie's volume when they reached the upstairs proper. He surmised that the Cakes must be sleeping nearby. The volume just about returned when they reached her quarters, the massive circular room seeming quite large compared to the size of the building outside. David couldn't quite understand if they had ascended another level, or the room rested on the second story. For some reason, his mind was drawing a blank.
Pinkie's room was rather predictable. Bright colors, mostly pink, assaulted the man's eyes as soon as they arrived. A persistent smell of cotton candy and pastries filled the air, almost to the point of being overwhelming. The room was quite well lit, which was expected as necessary at such a late hour. The only bed in sight was positioned beneath a balcony that ran along one wall, with drawers and other furniture close by. Even though a plethora of whimsical objects littered the room in its entirety, he spotted a few clear areas where he might set himself up for the night. The most appealing, however, was the balcony. Although a large window was located at its center, the elevation would hide him from those who might come up into the room for one reason or another.
As David surveyed the room, Pinkie quickly pulled an extra blanket and pillow from a large wooden chest at one end of the room, dropping them at the man's feet.
"Thank you," he said with a nod, gathering his "gift" in his arms as he made his way to the stairs leading up to the balcony. Pinkie, meanwhile, did an incredible leap to her bed, bouncing as she impacted and throwing the covers from the bed in one single motion, giggling and snorting as she did.
David placed the pillow at one end of the balcony, positioned close to the wall to best hide him from any visitors from below, and laid down on his back, staring up at the balloon and streamer covered ceiling. He reached for the blanket and attempted to spread it over himself, but, much to his dismay, the size of pony blankets in relation to humans became apparent very quickly: the cloth left his feet and part of his lower legs exposed. Even then, it was quite the improvement over sleeping huddled in a corner in the basement of the library.
"Good night Mr. David!" Pinkie called cheerily from below.
"Good night Pinkie," he responded, closing his eyes. He didn't even realize he was smiling. Perhaps things weren't so bad after all.
Somehow I doubt that the Cakes will be quite so accepting of poor Mr David.
THE PINK ONE HATH ARRIVED~! THY DOOM IS AT HAND- er, HOOF~!
Heh, I bet that the twins will somehow find him, and then hilarity will ensue. *Grabs some popcorn* I can't wait!
The shitstorm is coming brace yourself xD
Silly David- of course Pinkie Pie is friendly!
He wakes up strapped to a chair. Mr David, do you, by any chance, enjoy cupcakes?
Wunderbar chapter I ask for moar thank you
Nice pun of the iceman comith
daaawwww
MORE!
SO GREAT! And so many chapters so quickly! Well done!
Let me guess, he wakes up and finds the other five staring at him in his makeshift bed.
My mustache requires MOAR!!
1462891
Why, yes, yes he does, but... five were fine, I'm not hungry anymore! No, no cake, noooo!
Heh. I see your Cupcakes and raise you with Cupcakes Redux.
No David, you fool! She's just lulling you into a false sense of security!
Heh, accidentally goes into Sugar Cube Corner... if he ever gets back, gets a girlfriend, he could use the excuse that he 'accidentally' passed out in a strip club...
IT'S PINKIE TIME AH TELL YA WHAT
No, Pinkie, no!
Primate, which is a kind of monkey, which is a kind of mammal, verterbrate, chordate, ect
Problem spotted: Pinkie didn't Pinkie Swear to keep the conversation a secret. She didn't even swear to keep it a secret at all.
Hello Mr. Human!
...this reminds me of an anime named vandred all of a sudden lol
You sir. To you belong all my mustaches
And, of corse, MOAR
Ohmygosh, David! You've been spotted by an adorable pink pony!
What you gonna do?
fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/292/c/5/image_for_fimfic_day_one_by_miniscule_literary_by_boardgamebrony-d5ia8tx.png
Looking forward to the next update Glad that it was Pinkie Pie that found him 1st... I think if you're trying to figure out who to introduce yourself to... Pinkie Pie is the way to go! Just wondering how he's going to explain to Twilight that he's spent a few weeks or so in her basement... Maybe it would be just better to let that one go.
1453686
Me too D:
But I abandoned the proyect anyway XD
1463627
Well technically MLP ponies don't really look exactly like true horses do they? The shape, the length of body parts, the lack of visible hair, the lack of visible hooves...
But we compare them to horses because they still retain similarities. The reason the ponies often refer to humans as monkeys is probably because that's the closest thing they can come up with.
Chapter imminent.
1463019 I agree--you are the absolute fastest updater I have seen on this whole entire site so far!! Let me guess--you prewrite your chapters and scan them into your computer?
Pinkie is n00b. Young Cakes are the Evil Ones. These souless eyes...
1463679
Nope, the one that will be up in a minute was written today.
Fallback!!! The enemy is here! Oh its just pinkie pie. Wait pinkie pie........ Knows everbody EEEVERYBODY O_O I give up I'm surrounded *drops blaster rifle and raises hands* "I surrender! Don't eat me, or kick me to death, or-" *looks at pinkie*
Pinkie: "uh.......is that a no to the sleep over or what?
Me: I may have misjudged your leel of inteligence e_e
*lowers arms*
Meme
Shit storm avoided, for now.
"Perhaps things weren't so bad after all." ... And those immortal words have been spoken, he just assured that everything than can fuck up, will fuck up.
1462891 NO
I HATE THAT VIDEO AND WHO EVER MADE IT IF I MEET THEM I WILL MAKE THEM PAY FOR THERE CRIMES!!!!!!!!
1465365
You were seriously disturbed by the video?
Have you even read thy story?
He'll be singing a different tune when the Twins discover him.
1462891 HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, would you ike some mystry meat i keep in my freezer at IN A BOX?!?!?!
The funny thing is that in situations like these, Pinkie Pie is the most level-headed, reasonable pony you could meet.
Did I really just say that?
1463311 Your pic brings up a very good question, is there a Commander Shephard in Equestria fic out there?
(I think that if I saved recently, that I would say the renegade option just to see the reaction. Then I would load and say the paragon option)
1462891 Stalliongrad has gone dark David, we're running out of time! Tell me what the numbers mean David or I'll force feed you cupcakes!
She didn't Pinkie Promise!
1709189 oh god, dude run!
1550782 there is