Panic leads to uncertainty, uncertainty breeds misjudgment, and from misjudgment comes:
Consequence.
David awoke in a daze the next morning, a few hours after dawn. Already he could tell something was amiss. Voices, faintly heard below, possibly outside. How could they be so loud, as to be heard from indoors? His curiosity got the better of him as he crawled over to the window and peered outside. The Cakes were standing directly below the window, along with Pinkie. His curiosity increased. They looked troubled, and in that moment his curiosity turned to fear. Had they found out? Was, perhaps, Pinkie fighting on his behalf? For all he knew, she had been the one to tip them off.
No...they seemed to be looking at something. Something in the distance. Something small, purple, and mad as hell.
Oh shit.
Twilight Sparkle, librarian of Ponyville and student of Celestia, was storming toward Sugercube Corner, her friends following closely behind her. They seemed to be trying to communicate with her, but she did not seem to notice, or care. Her eyes were locked on Sugarcube Corner. David felt as though they were on him, even at such a distance. He could feel the unicorn's anger.
His poor choices had finally come back to bite him on the arse.
"Game over!" he cried, looking around wildly for some sort of salvation. Nothing in the room could save him. Perhaps he could sneak out the back? Snake through a few alleys, scare a few ponies half to death but ultimately escape the wrath of Twilight. As if in response to his plan, the purple pony broke out into a gallop, her friends momentarily stunned before following. Rainbow Dash easily kept up with the unicorn from the air, but even she seemed to stay a fair distance behind.
At that moment, Pinkie appeared at the top of the stairs, looking worried. "Uh, Mr. David, we have a small problem!"
"I noticed!" he responded, practically jumping off the stairs leading up to the balcony. "Do you think I have enough time to get out through the back?"
The door to Sugarcube Corner flew open with a loud bang.
"Nope!"
David cursed inwardly. Now he had no choice. He had to stand his ground.
This wasn't going to be pretty.
David retreated a few paces back just as Twilight charged up into the room, seemingly alone. The unicorn's eyes immediately locked onto him, snorting angrily like a bull ready to charge. "YOU!" she cried, advancing with her horn trained on the man.
"Hi there little pony, my name is David, I'm a hu-" David began, trying to act as though he had never seen the unicorn before, before being interrupted by a blast of magical energy landing a few inches from his shoe. Although it impacted with an audible crack, the floor remained strangely undamaged.
"How dare you!" Twilight cried, continuing her advance as David retreated equally as much away. "You invade my home, take my things, and try to hide it from me?!"
"I know this looks bad," David began, holding his hands up. "But I was just trying to survive, honest! I had no choice!"
"You risked state of the art lab equipment for your little game!" the unicorn retorted, another blast landing a few paces in front of David. "Priceless, ancient text!"
By now David had begun to ascend the stairs to the balcony, with Twilight following only a few yards away. "Listen, I didn't mean to-"
"I don't want to hear your excuses!" she growled, her eyes narrowing.
"...If you strike me down now, I will become more powerful than you cou-AGH!" David cried as a large empty cardboard box impacted with his forehead, prompting him to stumble back against the wall. At least he tried.
The unicorn was angry, that much he knew. He needed to let her calm down. He needed time, of which he had very little. He needed to get more.
"I'm sorry, Twilight, I really am," he said calmly, reaching a hand behind him as he moved along the wall toward the window. "But if you won't accept my apology..."
His hand found the lock on the window, and he slid it up and pushed the glass out in one swift motion. Turning, the man launched himself out the two story window, into the (thankfully clear) street below.
The impact knocked the air from his lungs. He groaned. Landing flat on his stomach, the man should've died right then and there, or at the very least shattered a plethora of bones. Instead, he felt pain, a shock, and it was over. That was one burning question answered. But for now, he needed to concentrate on the present situation.
Using his arms to push himself off the ground, he had already began running before he was even upright. Numerous denizens of Ponyville had frozen in their daily activities to see what was transpiring, especially after a strange creature just dove out a window. As he ran, he looked back over his shoulder toward Sugarcube Corner. Twilight was staring out the open window as if he was insane. Then suddenly, she was gone.
In a bright flash of light, Twilight reappeared just outside the building, already mid-run in his direction.
"Cheater!" he called back as he fled, ignoring the confused ponies all around him. He had a plan, but first he needed to lead Twilight out of Ponyville. The spot where he had arrived, not far from Fluttershy's cottage....that would be their destination.
He just had to get there without being caught by the furious mare behind him. And hopefully not cause too much panic in the town in the process. Being chased by a small purple pony nearly half his size would probably ease any concerns the townsfolk may have about how dangerous he was, though.
Things were not off to a good start. Even Twilight was much faster than him. The only thing working for him now was the head start he had on the unicorn. He would need to complicate his route if he hoped to stay out of the purple pony's magical grasp, and not get lost in the process. Ponyville was quite different looking during the day...
David was now a considerable distance down the street, with Twilight in hot pursuit. He turned into one of the alleys without losing much speed, and immediately turned again in hopes of confusing his pursuer. Turning a third time, he reappeared in another major street, darting past stalls and ponies working and shopping around them. The market. He, at least, knew where he was.
A loud pop sounded not far away. In his peripheral vision, he saw Twilight appear from behind a building a few meters away in another bright flash of light. Staying low, the man attempted to blend in with the crowd, but they were having none of it. Confused and slightly scared by the appearance of such a strange creature, the ponies of the market parted to either side as he passed, offering no aid in his attempts to hide. Needless to say, it wasn't long before Twilight was right on his tail once more.
With a silent curse, he darted into yet another alley as the crowd's murmuring grew louder and louder. Much to his dismay, this one lacked any visible, immediate turns. It was a straight away, that would get him closer to his destination, but give him no opportunities to delay his pursuer. Rapid popping sounds sounded behind him, as he looked back to see what had transpired. Twilight had teleported rapidly to close the distance to him. He screamed in surprise and forced himself to run a little bit faster.
As if answering his silent prayers, the alley opened up in four directions, allowing him to twist and turn through its recesses (and even double back a few times) in an effort to lose the unicorn. He knew he would never succeed, but it would at least slow her down and put more distance between the two.
Again he appeared out in the open, and found himself a few meters from the road leading out of Ponyville toward Fluttershy's cottage. Salvation, at last! He wondered if he would get even that far, however, in such open terrain.
His pace did not slow as he surveyed his surroundings, though he did look behind briefly to check on his pursuer. She was no where to be found one moment, and uncomfortably close by the next. Damn that magic!
As the two passed by the few houses that remained this far out, David leapt over the small stream that ran near the cottage without hesitation, stumbling and almost falling as he landed on the other side. Of course, Twilight simply teleported over the gap without a second thought. Show off.
As they reached the fields, a considerable distance from civilization, David abruptly slowed to a stop and turned to face the pursuing unicorn. She slid to a stop as well, and the two shared a few silent, tense moments of staring at each other through narrowed eyes. A light breeze blew past, rustling the long grass that stood around them softly. Birds chirped innocently in the trees. A frog croaked from the stream just a few yards away. The two did not move.
Suddenly Twilight dropped low to the ground, her horn beginning to glow. David immediately thrust out his arm and assumed a combat stance, eyes burning with blind determination.
"GO, SECRET MAGIC FROM THE BOOKS I READ!"
Nothing happened.
"Aw fu-" he began, his arms falling to his sides in resignation before he was interrupted by a massive glowing field of magic engulfing every inch of his body. The next thing he knew, he was hoisted several meters into the air.
The sensation was incredible. It was both soft and solid, both blinding and magnificent to behold. He did not feel as though he was flying, but rather like a massive creature simply carried him around like a toy.
He was promptly turned upside down and dropped onto his head.
"Ow," the man called from the ditch the impact had made in the grass.
"I will now accept your apology," Twilight stated as she resumed a normal stance, smiling smugly.
"And I will gladly give it. I'm sorry," David responded, slowly rising to a sitting position, one hand rubbing his head. "I did mean what I said back there. I didn't mean to intrude, I just had no choice."
"You should have just asked me for help. It definitely would have went better than...this."
"Story of my life," he sighed, glancing around at his surroundings, and Ponyville off in the distance.
"How did you know I wouldn't just...blast you?" the unicorn asked suddenly, looking legitimately intrigued.
"If you had the inclination to do so, you would have already done it twelve times by now," David replied, getting to his feet. "The most magically attuned unicorn in Equestria missing a target only a few feet away." He scoffed.
Twilight blushed slightly at his choice of wording, before clearing her throat. "Well, then, I hope this is a lesson for you. You shouldn't take from anypony!"
"Lesson learned, believe me," the man assured with a halfhearted laugh. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to help me explain to the population why we just had a high speed chase through Ponyville?"
"Hmm...no," Twilight responded plainly. The smug look returned.
"Wonderful."
lol more?
The direction this took... is interesting.
I personally would have just kicked her down the stairs and laughed hysterically.
You sir must be half machine to update this so often. Bravo.
I would promptly tell her something that sounded out of nowhere and confusing and leave. Such as " then back to the ever free I go! Farewell my crazy imaginator! May you find comfort in the crazy house."
you're hammering out these wonderful updates like a pro! well done!
...hu...
I don't know... I just... I don't quiet understand why he was still at Sugar Cube Conner after he KNEW that Applejack had told the mane 6 where he was staying. I mean if you're trying to remain hidden why would you stay in your "secret base" if you know it's been compromised. It really just felt like a reason to have him to get exposed and then have the chase scene. At this point if he's thinking that he might as well stick around in Sugar Cube Conner and meet whom ever comes to see him but then chickens out when he sees an angry Twi... well that would make more sense but I didn't get that feeling from the writing.
Nor do I understand his reasoning for stopping when Twi is chasing him. If he felt like he wouldn't have been able to escape her in open ground then I missed that moment... also... I don't get why Twi picked him up to drop him on his head and then accept his apology.
Twillight it would seem does appear to have a bit of a sadistic side, hunting people like that.
Twilight is a bitch! Shit man, even though she didn't wipe the floor with him, that's still a pretty bitchy move, knocking his head against the floor then telling him that she won't fix the mess they made together.
Wow. First AJ, now Twi's a smarmy bitch?
>>Treilacl
I'm pretty sure the idea was Twilight wanted to scare him. Accepting the appology straight would be letting him off too easy. Scare him. Make him run in terror through the whole town. Then when he seemed to no longer be convienced you were gonna do him serious harm (no longer running) an almost playful hit by dropping him on his head (not a big deal with cartoon physics) and accepting the appology.
I read it pretty much like that.
Wow, she went through all of that causing confusing and potential chaos? Some student of friendship she is. I hope he doesn't become a damn dormat for all of pony kind.
I lol'd at the name of this chapter
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!
Moar?
Aww pinkies is so far the only nice one.
1472919 well you see good sir. Bitches be crazy.
hell applejack attacked this poor stupid sod and he just sat there and took it
pinkie ratted him out and he doesn't even feel angry? but pinkie can be as mad as she wants when applejack does the same thing.
twilight gets pissed about someone going close to her wall ornament lab equipment and ancient book, both of which were so important to her that she didn't even look for or use them in the span of a week.
If I were this guy, being around such bipolar people, I would walk around with a carving knife up my sleeve. It's not like he had a chance to steal one when he was taking stuff from peoples houses or anything. also I would've at least ducked behind a tree or something and maybe dodge the pony with telekinetic powers instead of choosing the worst time to be illogical.
logic'd
gonna scare ponies just by existing? well then I better hide
stayed in one place too long? well then I should move
derp logic'd
applejack says mane 6 gonna be here tomorrow? better get some sleep
twilight can lift an ursa minor and is now chasing me? go go magic powers
At least he's thinking so this fic is already better than walking dead. but it'd be nice if he did it more.
1473223 I completely agree with your opinion good sir.
What a BITCH!!
You know, I would actually stop her rant at SCC with good old "Shut up!" followed by "What do you know?!" and "Do you have any idea how it is to be torn away from your family, friends and home?! To be thrown into alien world with no friends, no perspective and no options?! Get through that and then we can talk! Now if you want to kill me, then feel free to do so, because I would rather be dead than deal with you all, hostile xenophobes!" Or something like that.
Fighting fire with fire and all that stuff. Not to mention that cornered an
"And I will gladly give it. I'm sorry,"
And i was made to watch as the vestigial lumps that were once the main characters balls shriveled up into tiny black raisins and then dropped off altogether.
1473223
Twilight does have a pretty good reason to be pissed. Imagine if you suddenly found out that for the last week, some homeless guy had been living in your basement (That's only accessible by going through your house) and taking your stuff.
Personally, I'd be half terrified, and half feeling violated.
And I don't get why people keep thinking the ponies are acting xenophobic. An unknown creature is skulking around the town at the dead of night. Why wouldn't they be scared?
1473327 That reason might work if Pinkie Pie had not met the human and made friends with him, and took care of him. The fact that Pinkie got along with him, and made friends with him should have been a good indication that he wasn't hostile. Apple Jack's reason for lassoing him was weak despite the fact that pinkie had befriended him and there was no actual threat. Twilight may have a right to be angry, but she does not have a right to attack him and cause a chase through the middle of Ponyville simply because he touched her books. They are acting even worse with him compared to Zecora, which she did nothing more that stand in town.
"You should have just asked me for help. It definitely would have went better than...this."
Umm excuse me? You were the one who started the chase and confrontation, no one forced you to do this other than your smug pride.
"Hmm...no," Twilight responded plainly. The smug look returned.
Are you kidding me?! You just slammed him on the ground forced him to apologize and your not going to help clear up the mess you started after you just said he should have asked for help?! If anything, she just proved that he was right in the first place not to ask for help! What a hypocritical $%^&*!
And what makes it worse he just bends over not calling any of them out! This story is almost close to loosing my fav status. Don't make me do it!
1473302 I couldn't agree with you more sir.
1473369
No. Just no.
If anything, I'd be furious at Pinkie for not telling me that a complete stranger, who was also an alien, had been entering my home, while I was asleep.
I wouldn't care if Celestia herself thought he was fine.
Do you really think she'd feel safe leaving her door unlocked anymore? I wouldn't.
You have a point that she has a right to be furious as I already pointed out, but it still doesn't make her justified in attacking him and causing a ruckus in the middle of the town, even when he tried to explain his justified reasons for doing so. Her refusal to even listen to him make his case just proves that she was just out for blood to make him suffer for the horrible crime of using her stuff. Yeah it sucks having your privacy violated, but even when she made him apologize, she just completely ignored his plea for help just after she said he should have asked for help when he just did!
Here's my thinking on the matter:
If: Being chased by a horse, And: Near forest.
Then: Enter forest, zig-zag through trees.
Assuming Twilight even enters Everfree, in theory, between the darkness and the fact she's probably nervous, I'd probably lose her fairly easily.
For bonus points, after jumping out of the window, I would've groaned "Not... Intended... Result...*COUGH!*" before getting up and running. Let the ponies figure out the hidden meaning behind that and let Twilight guilt herself about making someone so scared they were willing to off themselves to get away from her.
(Later explain that it was a punishment for running him through town.)
Hooray Fridge Horror!
Also... What was he thinking with the "GO SECRET MAGIC" crap?
Okay, you're in a world of magic cartoon ponies, yes. You survived a belly-flop from a two story building, yes. Does that mean you are suddenly magical Superman? EeeeeNOPE!
Of course, Mr. Literary, my ranting about your character is a sign I like your fic and that, by proxy, I am eagerly awaiting Chapter 16.
He should have waited, and then tackled her as soon as she appeared!
Gee Twilight, bitchy much? At least help the poor bastard out.
Geez, this guy is never going to catch a break, is he?
you should have said
wunderbar
instead
I dislike this chapter, David needs to get some balls and show that he isn't someone the ponies can push around. Hell just make him flare his teeth that'll put those sod munchers in their place. He's a human and humans are predators( and prey with the exception) he should stand his ground once in a while so he's not so much of a pussy.
You guys gotta remember, by the end of that last chapter, neither David nor Twilight was particularly serious about the confrontation. Twilight just wanted to get playful revenge, and David was (after realizing he was not an exception to cartoon physics) trying to test another crazy theory. It was mostly for comedic effect
And the man jumped out a window and had a stand off with the most powerful unicorn in Equestria, and I still hear "He's such a chicken"! Does he need to wrestle a bear to satisfy you guys?
After surviving a 2 story fall with just scuffmarks in a full demo of toon physics, I'm surprised he didnt' hear a rock soundtrack with a driving beat out of nowhere throughout the chase. -like when Rainbow Dash tries to escape Pinkie.
Brilliant.
To be honest I think people just want to complain for the sake of complaining half of the time. Lets face it: If David actually came off as a real threat he wouldn't stand a chance even if they're cute little ponies. Sure he's human. Applejack would lasso him. Any unicorn would pwn him with magic. It'd be impossible to escape from a flier like Dash. You have to remember the threats they have fought and compare David - or any average city-human - to the same matchup. There are fics out there that read where the human is somehow unlikely just stronger because he's larger.
@Miniscule Literary
You can't please everyone. Do it however you want without regard to the comments. They're rarely going to say good things on the internet (even in pony circles apparently). People like to be critics even if it takes things too seriously. MLP is a cartoon physic world full of gags in which the characters are prone to making a screwup and fixing it every episode (example: Applebloom lying and stealing from Zecora is what led to causing her cutiepox). It's natural to make mistakes both logic and moral.
[youtube=225ztvL3GoI]
1474289
Ahh, I think you're the first to get the reference.
1474260
I appreciate the understanding. I do respond to feedback (such as the chapters getting a bit longer), but I also have a set path for the story. I have to find a balance between that path and what people find interesting. The latest chapter was probably the most fun so far to write, though. Something I had been planning for a while now.
Fuck you twi, Fuck u so hard.
1474132
I think it has something to do with everyone expecting him to do something else. Instead of him trying to use magic that he has previously had no indication of even having, just because he read a book on it.
I myself found it well written but a little illogical in places, such as Twilight's first contact in sugarcube corner.
Also you say it was suppose to be her playful revenge but according to her reaction it does not lead the reader to believe that at all.
This continues to be a account of literally the dumbest person in all the world being teleported to Equestria.
Every single problem he has encountered has been of his own making. In hiding his existence, he gives the impression he has something to hide. By breaking and entering, he tosses aside the possibility of charity. By stealing and sulking, he makes himself a criminal. By refusing to avoid confrontation, but then refusing to actually confront, he just looks like a fucking moron.
I feel no pity for David at all. He had a golden opportunity to wander into town, announce he's the victim of strange magic, and watch as ponies line up to help him out, after proving he isn't going to harm them.
Now, instead of friends, he has enemies. Bravo David, bravo.
1467296 nope and i dont plan on it.
1474480
Enemies make for a more interesting story. Sure, David's been acting like a complete idiot about the whole thing, but that makes for a better story to read.
1474557
I'm not complaining, just observing.
He's really, really dumb though.
1474480
This is what annoys me so much about him.
Yeah, I could complain how the Mane 6 up to this point seem to have become completely petty and smug (especially Twilight in this chapter), but what annoys me the most is how stupid this guy is being. He's seen the show. He knows the characters, but you're saying that the more he thinks about it, the more he thinks they'll want to kill him or something? How does that make even the slightest bit of sense? It just doesn't.
What annoys me about this guy is that every single thing going on right now is his fault. I just can't figure out why he's making these decisions, instead of doing the smart thing and asking for help. The only possible way I could accept his actions would be if he had never even heard of the show before, which would at least take away his knowledge of how nice they are.
But all my ranting aside, I do like the idea of the story (actually being in the show, with no fanon crap like Trollestia). And now that he's finally been revealed, maybe the plot can finally advance and get somewhere.
1474557
Sorry, but giving all the characters an idiot ball (look it up on TVtropes) does not make a good story. The only thing it does is create an Idiot Plot, which means "Any plot that would be resolved in five minutes if everyone in the story were not an idiot."
In all honesty, this chapter killed the story for me on the way things came out and their actions, I still want to read it but this just ruined the story for me even if its supposed to be funny.
twibitch.
1473327 cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/28689506.jpg
"...If you strike me down now, I will become more powerful than you cou-AGH!"
... Really? That line?
You had me in that story up until that line came up, and the rest of the chapter doesnt go much better after that with stuff like "GO SECRET MAGIC" and dialogues that just feel stiff and unnatural.
And why is Twi so smug/careless/stupid about all of this? She start by assaulting an Alien she doesnt know anything about? For all she knew it could have been immune to magic and able/willing to kick her face in if provoked.
I would have expected her to be cautious, very curious/excited, carrying a massive checklist and have many defense spells ready "just in case" (and probably the princess being fully aware of her plans, if she wasnt there)... not charging headfirst into some very big unknowns shouting one-sided accusations and being very threatening. That's what RD or AJ would do.
And then its like they were friends joking all along. Err.. nope.
1475035
You don't know the full story, that's the problem. From what we've seen, Twilight just got very angry very quickly. Remember that when she was on her way over, she was surrounded by her friends. We can assume that she had been talking more to Applejack. It wasn't that she just went charging angrily after any alien, she knew it was him who was hiding out in the basement, and who had sent the letter to Celestia. That will be mentioned later.
Her original reaction, when AJ first told them, was indeed that: scientific interest. She DID have a checklist planned and didn't even recognize him as a threat. That changed when she put 2 and 2 together.
As for the humor, well, that's a matter of personal opinion
What I would have said after everything that she did, and then she accepts his apology, is "After THAT? Apology rescinded. Go jump off a cliff".