Humans

by Nightwatcher

Pound Cake's Play-date (1-3)

The foal known as Pound Cake sat happy in his large crib, laughing as the big pink pony in front of the crib made funny faces.

Aside from the big pink pony he was alone in the room, the other small pony that was normally here was gone and he did not know where she was. So he did the only thing he could.

He cried; a lot.

Pumpkin Cake was actually just out with their father, Mr. Cake, but such complex concepts were beyond him, not that he would admit it.

So, in an attempt to silence the air raid siren that was his voice box Pinkie Pie had resorted to contorting her face into many, many, uncomfortable configurations. Thankfully it had the desired effect, unfortunately, the crying resumed once more as soon as she stopped. As such, the pair had been trapped in this cruel and vicious circle for two whole hours; leaving Pinkie’s face little more than jelly.

The voice of Ms. Cake finally put an end to the promethean situation, “Pinkie! You've got a… guest.”

At that the big pink pony left the room in a flash, leaving little more than a pony shaped cloud of dust.

Pound tilted his head at the display, a small half laugh, half cough, escaping him.

‘Where did big pink pony go?’ He wondered.

The foal reared up on the mightily walls of his crib, pushing with all his might in an attempt to escape; but all for naught.

Suddenly, an idea came to the little pony: He could fly out!

He looked over his shoulder at his small wings. Pound was confidant that he could fly to the sun and back with their might!

So, with a resolute mind he started to beat his wings, faster and faster, until he promptly went nowhere.

He let out a huff of annoyance at his incapability.

‘Just you wait stupid crib! One day you’ll be but dust under my might.’ He thought, just in time for the pink pony to come back to see his usual happy face.

“Silly baby. I wonder what you’re thinking Pound Cake.” The pink pony said aloud, her words failing his understanding, but he was happy with the knowledge that she was surly singing his praises. “Look! I brought you a friend!”

She twisted to allow a look at what was sitting on her back.

It was a strange thing, it was around his size but that was where the similarities stopped. It was completely hairless, aside from a patch of black hair on its head. It had two arms and two legs and beady green eyes that shined with intelligence far beyond its apparent age.

“Do you know what this is? It’s a baby human! I’m babysitting him for the next few hours! I bet you two would make great friends!” The big pink pony said placing the pair on the floor in front of each other. “I’m doing it as a favor of-” The next word was even more incomprehensible than normal to Pound Cake, but the other child giggled.

“What?” The big pink pony asked, looking at the baby human. “Oh. I said his name wrong?” The baby just stared blankly at her, a small line of drool falling from its lips. “Sorry. I’ll do better next time. Well, you two get to know each other, I’ll go get some snacks!”

With that the big pink pony left once more, closing the door behind her.

The little human took a passing glance at the door, after a moment it broke contact with the door and stared at Pound Cake who was sitting a hoof’s length away. The human reached out and lightly touched his mane with a giggle.

‘You dare challenge me?’ Pound Cake thought incredulously.

In response Pound Cake mirrored the gesture and poked at the human’s hair, a laugh coming from the human.

Pound Cake poked his tongue out at the human.

The human tilted his head, and then mirrored the act.

Pound Cake roared exaggeratedly at the human, though it was little more then a loud yawn, mouth open wide.

The human yawned as well, only its maw opened so wide that the big pink pony could have walked through it; its mouth filled with an existential nothingness that rumbled back at Pound Cake.

‘You win this round.’ Pound Cake grumbled the human laughing in victory.

Pound Cake caught sight of a huge green blob in his peripheral vision. His head slowly turned to see something truly horrifying.

The big pink pony’s pet had wandered into the room! Its huge and imposing scaled form standing menacingly across the room, its walled eyes watching both of them while its toothless jaw hung open and ready to gum them both to death.

The pair looked at each other, an unspoken agreement passing between the two to put their differences aside to battle this beast.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Pinkie Pie opened the door to the playroom and came to an interesting sight.

Gummy had wandered into the room somehow and Pound Cake and her newest charge were climbing on top of him while he simply sat there, both laughing hysterically.

“Awww.” Pinkie cooed. “How cute. I don’t know what he was talking about, the little guy is just an angel. Besides, how much trouble can a baby be?”

‘Did it just get colder?’ Pinkie wondered with a shiver.

Comments

[Speven Dillberg]

Pinkie Pie, Tempter of Fate, everypony.

[xXLotSoFriendshipXx]

oh dear Celestia, Pinke please don't tempt it. some very scary things are going to happen

[Mortal Kombat]

oh I thought for sure this was dead.....I guess not....cool

[HiddenBrony4]

Pinkie, there are some laws you just don't fuck with. Murphy's is one of them.

[PROTECTER]

dud you got to make a story out of this were discord is being tormented by the humans due to them being more chaotic then him

[filly101]

Did...Did she just jinx it? The next chapter is gonna be good!!

[DracoUnis]

Murphy the Human: Pinkie, I'm back. I hope that my son wasn't to much trou...

Oh dear, you said it didn't you?

[bh18]

We're boned!

[Vates Despero]

3857722 It's worse than you think... the baby's name is Law.

[Yuri Petrovitch]

Besides, how much trouble can a baby be?

Nope. Nothing good ever comes after someone says those words.

abload.de/img/shepard-waaaathkfx699udg.gif

Joker, get us outta here.

[Smurf]

welp! there goes ponyville

[theRedBrony]

Interfesting.

[Leux]

Please, write more, it's just to genius !

[Holographic]

When it comes to dealing with stuff, Gummy is a honey badger. Cute chapter!

[The Well Dressed Ninja]

2.bp.blogspot.com/-Rm1HuspXfC0/T1gknlLo0MI/AAAAAAAAA3w/toVepvOf6YQ/s1600/Update.gif

[HIEfan]

Ok, i have no idea whatsoever where this story will lead, but i do belive i will enjoy it.

[the_sane_maniac]

O_O god have mercy on her soul

[Lupus]

Why? Why must ponies continue to tempt fate?! Ah well, more fun for us!

[DavidPony]

.......RUN BITCH! RUUUUUUUUUN!

[FanOfMostEverything]

Oh boy. Batten down the hatches, folks. This one's gonna get zany.

Still, it could be worse. At least it's not the Cake twin who can dematerialize laundry baskets. All Pound can do is demolish. Pumpkin might be able to work on a more existential level...

In any case, I look forward to more.

[Paddle Steamer]

3857475 Discord vs the ArmA knuckleheads.

Song and all.

[nighters]

think the baby would troll twilight that would make discord proud?

[voiddragon]

Humans are fay cool

[Vailen]

OK, this is a funny take on humans in equestria... not that its a bad thing.

[SFyr]

Pretty amusing nonserious fic, this. Nice work on it~

[The Seagull Milker]

I just found this story and I am not disappointed!

[Sweet Snakes]

Do a chapter with Cheese Sandwich or Derpy maybe.

[StarChaser01]

4651395 So Equestia is sort of like the Matrix but more mind-over-mattery?

[Kaffeina]

MOAR!

[TwilySparky]

I'm confused on what I am reading.

[JohnIsOffline]

*archived Baby Frozen*
THE END!

[Rainbow of awesame]

pls moar Of this it is so intertaning. I suck at selling sorry

[Phantom_Eclipse]

Funny stuff...a shame it's on "hiatus"

[Necron Lord]

I kinda wanna see an angry human in this

[SkylordF]

6744662 or a human chick maybe

[ynfiltra]

is it dead?!
say it isnt so!!!!!!

[HIE]

Extremely funny however, it feels as if you wrote the past chapter of this story as if the human was Discord.
I didnt feel as if the human was turly a unique character until the second chapter.
Other than that I feel that this was a turly funny story and im looking forward to more.

[Xuncu]

‘Did it just get colder?’ Pinkie wondered with a shiver.

https://youtu.be/VmWKiHpw4M4?t=465

[Dustchu]

Hehehehe, this... this will be awesome.

Nice job, can't wait for more!

[ConfettiColored]

This story always rung a very distant bell for me, but till today I couldn't put my finger on it.
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/marvel_dc/images/a/a9/Mister_Mxyzptlk_001.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20091104040525

[Jean-luc Picard]

cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder619/500x/73027619/meme-nasar-when-you-find-out-the-writer-is-still-on-hiatus.jpg

[HellBreaker]

Only one scene from a great show comes to mind

[HellBreaker]

‘Did it just get colder?’ Pinkie wondered with a shiver.

Is that ice in the window?

[Ariel Schnee]

So did humans solve the Skasis Paradigm?

[UnitedEarthEmpire]

Everyone knows, Humanity will solve the Anti-Life equation. Tis' the reason Equestrians hates us.

[NyOs29]

Pinkie you of all ponies know better than to tempt fate.

[Worm-revolver]

7782101
5 years since last update? It's dead.

[Dustchu]

9411667
Bruh, my comment is almost three years old

[Worm-revolver]

9411688
Didn't see that

[gamerboy11116]

9761047
Thank you for that.