The Canterlot Caverns are a strange and enigmatic place, untouched and forgotten by pony-kind for centuries. So when a strange metal object is unearthed in their depths, it's up to Twilight Sparkle and Lyra Heartstrings to discover the many secrets it holds.
Together, the two of them will have to do their best to understand the remnants of an ancient civilization, and decipher what remains of Those Who Came Before.
The cover-image is a cleverly edited stock image, which was modified by the stupendous Corvo.
Proofreading was performed by the equally fantastical writers:
Timetraveling Pony (Who started as a proofreader when Cloud was writing this. Hats off to him for being dedicated and staying on as a proofreader for me.)
DustyPwny
Tidal
Superluminous
Night Spark
PhiliChez
And a special Thank You goes to The Sentient Cloud for allowing me the honor of continuing this great story after he retired from writing fimfictions.
As it turns out, this story is eerily similar to Lyra Heartstrings and the Hand of Man. Due to their similarity, I feel that it would be appropriate to give said story a mention.
This Author's Note has been deleted. Its contents are now located at the end of chapter one. (I like this new system for adding Author's Notes. Much better, if you ask me.)
I came second *nudge nudge wink wink*
1698596
you went sci-fi on me.my opinion of you went up tenfold.
a side note, during the train scene, you seemed to make pinkie a bit too random. its an easy mistake to make, but it kinda broke my immersion whenever she had a line.
Overall im excited to see another story by you, and this one seems to be off to a great start
You wrote a story that isn't trash, +1 complimentary mug of vodka for you!
Why did that line in particular stand out the most to me?
any key....
I couldn't resist
Great story so far, you've got me interested. Fav'd and +1'd
Also, if it isn't considered a spoiler, can I query you for some information about the humans? Like: What level of technology were they at? The way you described the screen, I would imagine where we are right now or a tiny bit ahead. Does this take place in our universe with our history? That question might be pointless.
I await the next chapter...
dis gon be gud
1698901
About the tech level: I honestly can't see the need to progress much further in terms of the computer's input and output systems. True, swipe-screen stuff like the stuff in Avatar might be used in the future, but monitors and keyboards are all reliable and rather robust. After all, no point in fixing something if it's not broken.
So, could be twenty minutes in the future, could be the remains of a spacecraft. Who knows.
1698944
Yes, I suppose you have a point. They would not use a holographic touch screen for the door, as it could break. A plain old keyboard would work much longer and more efficiently. This means that I can still hope for futuristic technology.
This came to mind when I first read it:
i demand moar!!!
1698526 I really hope they like it, personally. Things aren't looking that good right now, though.
1698548
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_me0xb6gGWz1rqhwhro1_400.png
1698641 I was so busy editing and changing Rarity's lines so as not to offend the Rarity fans, I suppose I must have not noticed that Pinkie was a bit too random. I'll look into that later.
1698672 As far as I can tell, I've only written one story that could be classified as trash... the rest seemed pretty popular.
1698901 1698944 The human tech-level I envisage is... 2040's or later. I'm not going for super-futuristic, but more along the lines of being reasonably post-modern.
1699300 How much MOAR! there will be is based on how popular the story is.
looks very interesting! liked and faved!
Neat. I'm interested to see where this goes.
Personally, I hope you didn't go the "Humans blew themselves up for no reason (Or because MAAAAN)" route that I've seen used far too many times, I won't rage at you if that's what your evil plan is, though.
1699412
Not looking too good? It looks like it just hasn't been noticed much yet, so far all the feedback has been positive. Don't be sad, bro.
1699483 I know the feedback has been positive, but my hopes of making the feature box aren't looking too good...
I think there's still a slight chance, though. So... fingers crossed, eh?
Love It!
Please Continue
This is really nicely done, too bad we have to wait a while for the second chapter.
I hope this story gains the popularity it deserves. As for the feature, even if it doesn't get there now, it might in the future. I came across stories before that didn't make the feature page until several chapters in. Still, this is better than some of the stuff I've seen there.
From that human tag, I'm fairly sure that the object is a preservation capsule with some humans kept in stasis until the recovery protocol is activated. Probably to keep them alive from some disaster, which is why it's so far underground.
Aside from a bit of character exaggeration your story seems pretty good. I'm definitely going to keep my eye on this one as it looks to have great potential. Final judgments to be made once there's more story to be had.
As a side note as of my reading this there are 50 upvotes to 0 downvotes I'd say the reaction has been rather good really.
1699696 I'm glad that you're enjoying the story... but you'll have to wait until the next chapter to find out what the object actually is.
1699771 Well, I'm glad that you're watching the story. I hope you like it!
Over 9k words. Possibly really good. High chance story will be discontinued or really delayed due to other projects. Something about Rarity that would upset people such as harm, OOCness which would equal overall bad characterization. Rarity is a challenge to write for. Properly.
So many negatives. So much intrigue...
Not selling this one too well mind you.
9k words...
4:35am.....
Not sure if worth it. Will wait till x-mas and see what goes.
meh, guess I'll read it until something jars me out or boredom sets in. That or I finish the chapter. Whichever comes first. I was finally going to read me some Exit Through Canterlot chapter two just now... Enough I suppose. Read I shall. Hopefully the Rarity stuff isn't going to be too haughty.
1699801 Oh, I don't think it's something that would upset Rarity fans... It's basically an argument, really. Not much to worry about. I was just being cautious.
Rarity on a train. A moving train. Being allowed needles and thread and such? Wouldn't that be a hazard and require even more concentration from a unicorn no less to stitch on a train? Imagine the hazards such as a needle shooting into one of the ponies eyes due to a jolt causing a loss of concentration. I'm over looking the very ungenerous mannerisms of a lady, being unladylike. Rainbow Dash was supposedly too far to hear Rarity talking loudly, and while yes sound in the front travels faster to the back than vice versa, I don't think it made much sense except for giving us that one scene with Pinkie being adorably Pinkie.
Rainbow Dash not being able to read unless she's reading out loud to herself. Cute quirk, but she was just fine reading to herself in A Friend Indeed, and in Too Many Pinkies.
Rainbow Dash bashing Applejack with a snide lowbrow hillbilly crack of illiteracy, when AJ clearly reads as she was the one trying to convince Rainbow Dash that reading is for everypony and not just for eggheads, as being a bit uncalled for except for building up tension before breaking into the plot.
Overall, I can see why you went with what you did, but far as characterization goes, and certain events that went down, I'll be seeing this as [Human] with an[Alternate Equestria] tag. This is sounding like it's going to be an adventure fic. We'll see soon enough I suppose. In any case, ignoring a few character portrayals here since they were painted as always being like this due to missing out on real life plans of theirs, going to continue reading.
Good job on the Pinkie Pie scene. Sacrificed a lot to get that one scene though. Shouldn't take shortcuts to pick on a character you don't have an eye for just to try a joke however. It's lazy and it will lead to others just passing it by.
EDIT: Not lazy, just demeaning to the character I suppose when you take shortcuts or just try and force a scene in and have everything revolve around it till it works.
1699809 Argument was a tad exaggerated. But the Pinkie Pie scene worked out quite well at least. Just some characterization issues really. Small details left out while others left in that would contradict itself if tried to set any timelines to resolve reasons for doing what had occurred. Sorry, didn't see you'd reply so soon, still reading. I promise I won't nitpick too much more.
1699867 Those are all appreciable criticisms, except that you're wrong in assuming that the entire argument was there so that i could set up a Pinkie scene. I don't sacrifice character integrity for laughs. That entire conversation was designed to 'organically' explain why they're heading to Canterlot, and the Pinkie scene was there to stop the argument from escalating. I guess I failed at making it a good scene.
I can't help but feel like something bad's going to happen when the open it. It's going to be like Prometheus. It's going to hit the fan.
1700049 Don't count on it, because - fun fact - I didn't watch Prometheus until after I had the idea and was partly through writing chapter one. Then I watched the movie, and felt a little irritated by the similar premise.
Anyway, like I said; don't count on it. Do you see a dark tag on this story?
This is awesome, want MOAR!!!!
Is this somehow Fallout related?
1700103 Sorry. It's not Fallout related in the slightest. (Note the absence of a 'crossover' tag.)
Dude... like seriously this is really awesome. It's fun to read, and your Lyra is awesome too. I'm really digging the length and the details and all of it, so I hope this works out for you. I'll be looking forward to chapter two come Christmas time, at least I hope so. Heh, I wish your country was closer to mine so I could buy you a beer or something as thanks for all this awesomeness you provide. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_smile.png
Oh Gods i love this! an archaic technologically advanced human building!
It kinda reminds me of stargate, with the "ancients" and all. The now "advanced" humans finds proof of an extremely more advanced but sadly gone race that lived long before they did. And all the studying and exploring of the advanced technology! just lovely!
I cant wait for an update! i have a feeling this story will be GREAT!
I kinda want a Human in "cryo-stasis" waking up after the ponies mess up with the technology for being careless, probably Lyra :P
1700161 Thanks. I'm really glad you like it!
And now I'm spending my time staring at the home page and constantly refreshing, hoping desperately that this is going to show up in that magic square.
1700165 Ha! I love your praise! Thanks a bunch.
This story was also slightly inspired by the forunners of Halo. (Not Prometheus, though. I didn't watch that until after I'd come up with the concept.)
1700181
Sadly i havent played the halo games that much, might have to look into that...
I am not joking when i say that this is now my number 1 "i cant wait for an update!"
and yes..im a HUGE fan of sci-fi series/movies. There i just something magical about unknown/alien technology! (even though we will probably understand the human technology, the ponies dont, and seeing how they react is just as good)
The story is in the magic box! Gratz!
1700214 It did?! Really?
... I just checked, and it isn't there. The only explanation I can think of is that maybe the feature box has updated for your area and not mine yet.
Well, you've raised my hopes, so I suppose it's time to frantically refresh the site!
1700227
Yep i see it clear as day!
correct me if im wrong, but isin't there more popular stories than the box can actually contain, so maybe its just random if you get it in YOUR box?
1700234 I've never heard that, but that could be MY mistake.
Anyway, I see it now. This is truly glorious!
type "Yes" behind Twily's back!
I just read your comment at the top
-"Just a note to any of you who like this: This story has a reasonably slow update speed, due to the large chapter sizes and my other story. The next chapter most likely won't be out until around Christmas"
PLEASE tell me that is not true! i need more of this! :D
story's good! keep going!
OOOO A human scifi fic.
Me likey and favoritey.
Also if I am getting it right, this universes humans will come and recover their space lab right?
1699464
Well... they say technology speeds up each passing year, meaning it is very possible that we had colonies on other heavenly bodies at that point... *hint hint* *wink wink*
i lovelovelove the concept of humanity being in the ponies' distant past! i reallyreally... wait, no, reallyreallyreallyreallyreally want you to continue this! PINKIE PROMISE RIGHT NOW!
This is good. More please.
Looking good. Some formatting issues and grammar missteps, but otherwise very good. Colour me interested.
Just be sure not to pull any 'humans are bastards' on us, and we'll get along juuuust fiiiine.