• Member Since 3rd Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Biker_Dash


The Goal... 200+ mph in the Standing Mile. To Tartarus with academy records, I want to hold a Land Speed Record.


E
Source

Scootaloo is just a lonely filly living on the streets of Baltimare. After the tragic loss of her parents, she spends her days trying to survive on her own. Nobody will take her in, and she struggles to find a good place to rest each night. It is a bleak existence for her, one that she feels she will never escape from.

But when a passing cart drops a small package in front of her cardboard box, will she find something that will bring some light into her life?

Proofread by PhiliChez and DustyPwny

Cover art by IDSmehlite with permission for this fic.

Story is inspired by this video by SourceRabbit0

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 129 )

i like it and can you add more chapters for this story it can be longer or make sequel for this story and i like it

This was just AAAAH MY FEELS :scootangel: :derpytongue2: I LOVE IT SO MUCH

Was as expecting a different ending, but that wasn't bad at all.:scootangel:

>Mfw Biker_Dash has written something.
i.imgur.com/MVW81eY.jpg

Dude... you made me disperse tears.... not cool.... have a like and a fav:moustache:

Congrads on making it on the popular stories... I, don't suppose you would take me on as a pre-reader. I wouldn't mind learning a thing or two from you to improve my stories.

Message me... I have one other Scoots fic in the works, and a few others. One of my fics I already have a pretty full crew with though. :twilightsmile:

D'awwwww! Best Scootaloo story ever! :scootangel:

So dis is alternate?

4229404 Could be thought of that way... but its not alt enough to need that tag I feel

4229468 I am honored. Thank you.

4229415

This directly conflicts with established canon that scootaloo is not homeless, and therefore it needs an alternate universe tag.

You can, of course, choose to not put an AU tag on here, but that doesn't change the fact that, yes, by the site's definition of "alternate universe", this is an alternate universe fic.

4229519 What proof shows that she does have a home?

4229514
No problem.

4229519
As long as she isn't homeless by the time of "Flight to the Finish", this could still be canon.

--arcum42

4229559

Episode 5 of Season 4, Flight to the Finish, shows Scootaloo's bedroom and the house she lives in. Whether or not she has parents and who those parents are is still up for debate, but she is certainly not homeless.

4229566

That's true. If the story is stated to take place before Flight to the Finish, then yes you can get away without an AU tag.

4229643

>> Cloud Hop
As long as she isn't homeless by the time of "Flight to the Finish", this could still be canon.
--arcum42

Did he stutter?

4229643 Oh yeah, I forgot about that! Thanks lol. :twilightblush:

4229651

...well, no, that's why I was agreeing with him. :rainbowhuh:

What I feel cannot be properly transcribed, so I will just say it was stupendous.

4229559 We see her bedroom in Flight to the Finish. However that doesn't mean that's not also Derpy's house so this is story could still work anyway. We still haven't seen any confirmed family for Scootaloo after all.

4229762 Yeah. I wonder why that is.

Wahhh, this story made me cry so much :raritycry:. It's perhaps one of the sweetest ones I've ever seen here on FIMFiction. Wonderful job :scootangel:

I tend not to go for the Orphanloo fics, and I reject the idea that she is a orphan in canon... but this, this fic is well done and does an excellent job at the idea of Scoots being an orphan... one that gets a new family. Thank you for writing this
4229566
As a fellow Admin, I concur with the inclusion of Hidden Happiness into Twilight's Library -CP

Derpy as Scootalo's mom is a match made in Faust heaven. :pinkiesad2:

So much love and feels! :heart:

YOU LET HER TOMATOES? :pinkiegasp::twilightoops:

Amazing story!

Very nicely done. This story is well worth the read.

I even marked it as a favorite so I can read it again as a 'pick me up' in case I have a bad day.

you have some tense issues, but it was still easily readable. short and sweet!

It's hard to describe in words how good that was... Thank you so very much for writing such an awesome story. I loved every moment of reading it.

Top of the Featured Box, Biker! Congrats! :rainbowkiss:

I've added this to Read Later for when I get a chance. :)

4231610

Top of the Featured Box, Biker! Congrats!

:coolphoto: I'm happy with it :twilightsheepish:

Not bad. But it needs some work.

You have numerous tense issues (and other, less common errors), so if I were you, I'd make sure to pay more attention to verb tenses in the future.

Another thing was the pacing. At times, I felt like you could have expounded upon the story, given it more depth. A perfect example is the meeting Derpy scene. After years and years of mistrust, abuse, and living hard, she immediately trusts and befriends the Whooves? After a only few minutes of dialogue? They hardly said a dozen words to each other. That didn't seem quite right to me. You just rushed over that. She almost got raped, for crying out loud. I certainly wouldn't be as trusting after that.

I also felt like you could have done quite a bit more with Colty/Dusty. An example is the parents grave scene: why didn't you have her form a closer bond with the doll and then depend on the doll to get her through saying goodbye? Maybe have the doll "convince" her to move on? That was the only part of her situation that changed, so maybe, Colty/Dusty should have a part in that.

Another thing, why didn't Dinky say anything about Colty/Dusty when Scootaloo returned to the hotel with Derpy? I don't think Scoots would have left it, nor do I think that Dinky would completely ignore it. Maybe Dinky could have given her the doll?

Among other minor things here and there.

My overall opinion, meh. No votes from me.

Bro, you need to fucking continue this story. This shit's fucking awesome!

4232307 It was meant to be a oneshot though...
I am glad that you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

Rushed errors here and there but overall I liked it, maybe not vote liked it though. I do wonder if Scootaloo's background is similar because we never see her at her own home nor do we know of any family of hers.

Maybe at one point Hasbro could point that out to us. :rainbowderp:

Oh and one error I wanted to point out is that you claim it was a cardboard box in the summary that she was sleeping in yet in the story we learn she's on a bench with a newspaper blanket.

Where's the truth line of that one?

So Dinky never found out about Colty?:rainbowderp:

OMG, So much feels!:applecry:

It is pretty clear that (this) :scootangel: (plus) + (this) :derpyderp1: (equals) = FEELS!

~Leonzilla

Play Rain by SID while reading to start crying :fluttercry:

As others mentioned, there were a few issues with verb tense but nothing that could not be corrected easily. There were a few pacing issues - as someone else pointed out, I think the meeting between Derpy and Scoots might have been a little too abrupt. But overall I thought it was a good story. I made the mistake of reading this while at work and so I got to be a little teary-eyed.

congrats on the Feature, dude. is this your first?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I don't need to cry at work ;^^; This really pulled at my heartstrings. Nicely written piece of work!

4233030 I've been featured a few times before

So... many... emotions! :raritycry:

4233152 4
What? Really?
I didn't Cry. I'm too Cool to Cry.

Too many feels :applecry::fluttercry:

that was sweet...
Policeman:STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM! YOU VIOLATED THE LAW! PAY THE COURT A FINE OR SERVE YOUR SENTENCE! YOUR STOLEN GOOD ARE NOW FORFIT!

Scootaloo: But I am starving!

Policeman: THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD!

(Scootaloo crouches)

Policeman: DAMN IT! HE EXCAPED!

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