Hidden Happiness
The streets of Baltimare could be a cold place for a filly. Especially when they had nowhere else to go. Life here could be harsh and cruel, as one lone pegasus had learned. Every day became a fight to survive, and every night was a desperate search for a safe and sheltered place to rest. In a city where a hundred thousand ponies worked and lived, going about their own lives, one little pony who was all alone went barely noticed.
She had been happy once. She had a loving mom and dad who made sure that she was loved and cared for. Though they did not have much, living in a small apartment in a poorer section of town, she could not have been happier.
All that changed late one night. In the basement of the building her and her family called home, a short in the boiler caused a fire, which led to it exploding. A dozen ponies perished in the resulting fire, including her parents. The young filly had spent three days in the hospital, only to be transferred to an orphanage. Though there were good orphanages out there, this was not one of them.
Life quickly became a living hell for her. The staff members were cold and at times outright cruel. They gave no love and the facilities were barely livable. If you incurred the wrath of the staff, punishment was swift and corporal in nature. But that paled compared to how the other fillies and colts would treat her.
Every day was filled with abuse dished out by a small gang which pretty much had the run of the place. And if you stood up to them, they would immediately jump upon you and give you a beating as punishment, while the staff would look the other way.
After three weeks of this, Scootaloo left that hellhole. Living on the streets had to be better than this, she thought to herself. Maybe she might find work, or maybe even find the means to go somewhere better.
It did not take her long to discover that the streets could be just as bad as the orphanage that she had left. But even with how hard life was on the streets, at least she was free. She was cold, alone, miserable, always hungry, and scared, but she did not have to answer to anypony. All she needed to do was avoid the various street gangs, sexual predators, dealers, and the cops. Find some food whenever and wherever she could. And find some means to stay warm.
At times, she just wished that she could die.
It was a cooler autumn morning as Scootaloo slept fitfully on a sidewalk bench. She would have preferred to be in a sheltered alley, but all of them were occupied by ponies who did not want here there, or in a few cases, ponies that scared her. So she had gotten some old newspapers to cover her from the cooler night winds, and gotten what little sleep she could.
It was the sound of a passing cart that woke her from her slumber. The wheels made a small racket as they rolled over the cobblestone street. Pulled by a grey pegasus mare, it squeaked and rattled, showing it’s age and wear. Sitting in the front was a pair of Unicorn fillies, one in her teens, and one a foal about the same age as the orange pegasus. Scootaloo watched as they move past, feeling a sting of jealousy, bitterness and loneliness. The three of them seemed happy as a family, and that just reminded the foal that she had nopony herself. The stabbing pang in her heart threatened to bring tears to her eyes. She wished she could have a family once again. She missed her mom and dad so much.
As the cart got ready to turn a corner, one of the wheels hit a pothole, and a small box fell out of the back of the wagon. The wagon rolled on turning the corner, its occupants unaware of what had been lost.
Her sadness replaced with curiosity, Scootaloo wondered what could be inside. Seeing that no one else was around, she departed the bench and cautiously approached the fallen box. What could be inside, she wondered. Could it be food, or maybe something valuable that she might be able to sell? Maybe some clothes that might keep her warm in the colder months ahead? Whatever it is, she decided that she’ll keep it, whatever it is.
Opening the box, she peered inside. She saw some toys lying about, and some cards. And she saw a stuffed doll. It was grey with blue trowsers and buttons for eyes. It’s mane was kind of tangled, and it showed its years with how scuffed and worn it looked. It also looked very much like the one she had before the fire took everything she had in life away. Memories of her snuggling with her own doll at night ever since she could remember came to her, and with tears in her eyes, she picked up the doll and walked off.
~~
“MOM! I can’t find Colty!” came the little filly’s cry. Dinky Whooves searched all throughout the boxes brought into the room, but the stuffed doll could not be found anywhere. Running past her mother, the unicorn foal trotted back out the door to the wagon in a desperate attempt to find the toy. “Where is he?” she called out, moving boxes aside in her search.
Derpy wondered this herself, whereas she remembers placing the box in the cart. Doing a quick count, she then headed to the cart, and did a quick inventory. She found that there was a box missing from her count, and from how it looked, it was the box that Colty had been in. “I don’t know, Muffin. I remember putting the box in the cart,” she told her daughter. “I hope that maybe it got put in another box by accident. Come inside, and we can look more later today after my meeting.”
With a sad frown, her daughter reluctantly agreed and they headed back into the motel room.
They had been traveling for a few days now, and had stopped in Baltimare for the day before continuing their move to Ponyville. They had lived in Trottingham for several years now, but budget cuts at her job had caused Derpy to have to move to a new town. Fortunately, the Ponyville Post Office had an opening, and she had immediately sent an application. Once the job was secure, she packed her family’s belongings into the cart and headed north. She needed to check in with the regional office here in Baltimare first though, to finish up the required paperwork. Already, the Postal Service had found her a place to live in Ponyville, so things were looking up for the pegasus mare.
As the little filly went into the bathroom to pout by herself, Derpy sat down next to her older daughter with a sigh. “We lost a box somewhere, Sparkler. It was the one with Colty in it. Poor Dinky,” she says, hating the look of disappointment on the little one’s face.
Sparkler reached over, wrapping her hooves around her adoptive mother in a hug. “Don’t worry, Mom. Dinky will understand. And maybe this afternoon, you can get her a new one.”
Returning the hug, Derpy let out a sigh of relief. “Yeah, I can do that. Still, Colty had been passed down to me from my own mother. Dinky loved that doll,” she said.
~~
Scootaloo sat with her back against a lamp post with the doll in her arms. She even gave him a name. Dusty seemed like a good, strong name, and it fit his tattered and worn look, so that was what she chose. Dusty did not do much, but he was an excellent listener, and that is just what Scootaloo needed.
“Dusty, you have no clue how rough it can be out here. It gets cold and lonely. And scary too. Some of the ponies in this city scare me,” she said to her silent friend. “The other day, I had to run from a gang that I ran into. I have never galloped so fast, Dusty. I don’t know what would have happened if they caught me, but it would have been bad.” Hugging the doll tighter, she continued her one-sided conversation. “I’ve heard stories while I was in the orphanage. The things that could happen, it scares me. I wish I had some place safe to live. A place where I don’t have to worry about getting beat up, or worse,” she lamented. She did not want to think of the worse things that could happen. One older stallion had already tried to do something with her, and she felt a queasy sickness in her stomach thinking about it. It was only a lucky kick that had allowed her to get away from him.
Climbing to her hooves, she placed the doll in a small bag, which she hung around her neck. “Come on. Lets go see if we can find some food, and maybe a place better than a sidewalk bench to sleep later.”
Heading towards the East Side Marketplace, she watched for signs of trouble. Not that she expected it, but a pony could never tell. One of her biggest fears was running into a gang. Some of the gangs in this section of town could be pretty cruel. And they were very protective of the turf they claimed. Another thing which she watched for is the cops. There had been a couple run ins with them over the past few weeks, and she was afraid that they would bring her back to the orphanage, or take her to Juvenile Hall, where it was supposed to be even worse.
When she got to the crowded market, Scootaloo spent her time roaming, looking for the right stall to pay a visit to. Soon, she spotted the one she wanted. The owner was busy haggling with a customer over prices, and was not paying attention. Behind the owner was some baskets filled with nice, shiny red apples. A few of those would make for a tasty meal. Trying to be as discreet as possible, she edged up behind the baskets and quickly grabbed an apple.
“STOP!” she heard, which is quickly followed by a piercing whistle. Knowing that she has been caught, she did the first thing that came to her mind. She galloped away immediately, dropping the apple. The uniformed unicorn gave chase. Having caught her red-hooved, he is determined to catch her. Getting another thief off the street would gain favor with the Lieutenant in charge of the precinct.
Scootaloo knew this, and was bound and determined to get away. Weaving through the crowded street, she picked a path that gave her small size an advantage over the much taller cop. His longer legs gave him a speed advantage though, along with the fact that ponies generally moved out of the way for him. Turning down a particularly crowded street, she put on a burst of speed. She could hear the cop behind her, but she could also tell that he was having difficulty keeping up with her because of how densely packed the ponies were on this street. She cut left into an alley, jumped up on a couple crates, and leapt over a fence.
Hiding there praying to Celestia that the cop would run past, she caught her breath. Her break was short lived though when the owner of the small yard she is in steps out the back door. As he pointed a hoof at her, yelling for her to get out of his yard, she scrambled over the fence in a panic. It was a fortunate break for her that the cop had ran on past her. She ran back the way she came, and galloped out of the marketplace.
~~
She sat in an empty parking lot with a paper airplane that she had made. She would occasionally toss it, banking it so the little craft flew around in a circle, landing next to her. There was not a lot to do around here, when you had no bits to your name. This and talking to Dusty helped pass the time.
“That was close, today. He almost caught us, Dusty, but we outsmarted him!” she exclaimed with a smile. There is not much she could do, so when something did go right, pride filled her. One thing that her parents had taught her was to take pride in anything that she did. Nowadays, there was little she could feel proud of. She hated the fact that at times she had to steal just to survive. Her mom and dad had taught her better than that, but their teachings had not anticipated where she would end up living. “I just wish I didn’t have to steal food. My mom and dad would be ashamed of me for doing that.”
Giving the airplane a little toss, she watched it as it gently curved through the air. Feeling a longing that she has been feeling a lot lately, she looked down to her wings. Her smile faded as the reality that she cannot fly set in. She could not even hover, whereas most pegasi her age at the least can do that, and some even seem to be able to do so as infants. “I’m pathetic. A blank-flank pegasus who can’t get her flank off the ground. I’m never gonna get anywhere, Dusty.” Hugging the doll tighter in her forelegs, she cried softly. “What am I gonna do? Where will I go? Winter is on the way, but I won’t go back to that place. But if I don’t find someplace, I won’t make it.” Her tears continued to flow as she sat there alone.
After a while, she happened to see a pony drop something into a waste bin. The realization that it might be food came with the rumbling of her stomach. She never did get any food from the market today, and she felt it right now. Placing Dusty in her bag, she headed over to the trash can, and seeing that nopony is around, she looked down in. Quickly retrieving her prize, she grabbed her bag, and trotted down the street.
~~
Meals for the young filly were a hit and miss thing normally. Some days, she would have no trouble finding substinance. But once in a while, she would barely be able to get more than an apple throughout the whole day. Once, she went almost two days without a bite to eat. Not today though. Today, she hit the jackpot with this sandwich.
Even though it was only half a sandwich, it was pretty sizable. Filled with cheese, lettuce, daisies, cucumbers, tomatoes, pickles, peppers, onions, and half a dozen other items, she considered it a feast. Yes, she hated tomatoes and onions, but she did not care. She just dug in with a hungry bite. Even with the stuff she disliked, it tasted wonderful to her, and soon, the rumbles of hunger started to fade.
“Dusty, this is the life right here. I got you, and I got food,” she told the doll sitting quietly next to her. “What more could I want? Well, besides a home… and family.” the smile she had faded as her thoughts drift back towards her mother and father, and to the home she had. Taking another bite of her sandwich in an attempt to quell the feelings of loneliness and abandonment that has assaulted her, she chewed as she tried to think happy thoughts. All those thoughts did though is lead back to reminding her of what she desired most.
Looking down the street, she saw a wrought iron fence and open gate. Inside the fence, she could see the many granite stones sitting in orderly rows. It was the cemetery where her parents now rest. She had not been there in over a month now, avoiding this place because she did not feel ready to finally accept the fact that she was totally alone in this world, and would never see them again.
Looking down to her sandwich, then down at Dusty, she decided she needed to do this. She needed to come to terms with her loss, or she would never move on. Could she do this though? Just thinking about it tore her up inside. She almost felt that, by finally accepting that they would never come back, she would be abandoning them, or more painful, that they have permanently abandoned her.
She did not want to do this. She dreaded doing this.
She wrapped up the remains of her sandwich, and placed it and her doll in her bag. Getting up, she made the short journey down the street to the last place in all of Equestria that she wanted to be, to say goodbye to the two people she loved the most in the whole world.
Her hoofs made little sound as she walked through the gates onto the grass of the cemetery. It’s not far, just a few rows in, that they were buried, and she soon found herself looking down upon two stone slabs, set upright in the ground. This is the fate of all who live, she realized. This is all she has to look forward to; the knowledge that she will never have her mom and dad hold her again, and that her life will just be empty and alone for however long that she survived in this cold and dreary place.
“Mom, Dad, I’m sorry that I have not been around lately,” she said to them as her eyes began to water. “I just feel so alone and lost right now. It’s so scary, being alone in this awful place. I don’t want to be alone anymore. I wish you was here.” laying down, she rested her head on her forehooves, and cried.
After a while, she noticed that it had started to rain. It seemed fitting, the gloomy skies matched the despair and sorrow inside, and the rain was a reflection of her own tears. Rising to her hoofs, she looked down once more to the stones before her.
“Mom, Dad, I don’t know what will happen to me. I’m so scared and so very alone here. I wish I could see you guys one more time, but I know it can’t happen. I’m trying so hard to get by, but I have nowhere to go. I can’t go back to the orphanage, because of what they will do to me for running away, and nopony else will take in a flightless foal like me.” Resting her head softly on one of the markers as her tears ran fresh once more, she tells them, “I love you. Bye Mom. Bye Dad. I’ll miss you two always.”
Turning away, she walked out with her head hanging in despair, knowing that she will never again know the feel of their warm hugs and love.
~~
Derpy trotted through the rain on the way back to the motel her and her fillies were staying the night. Although she did not have an umbrella, or even an overcoat to keep her dry, her good mood could not be dampened. Today had turned out pretty decent, with the regional office being quite pleased with her, even with the difficulties her eye condition caused. Now, everything was all set up for her in Ponyville. She had a new home waiting, and the Postmaster there sent a message already welcoming her. Things were looking up for her, and she knew that her daughters would be happy with their new place. She had even managed to find a new doll for Dinky, and she picked up a couple of books that Sparkler would love.
Turning the corner, she spied a lone figure sitting against a wall in the rain. Approaching closer, she could see that it was a young pegasus, and she looked quite sad. She wondered what was wrong, then realized that she was probably one of the numerous homeless ponies here in Baltimare. Coming up to her, Derpy takes note of the condition of the fuchsia colored mane and tail, the orange toned coat, and that of her wings. The mother could see the filly’s ribs even, and she knew there and then that the young one needs a place to stay.
“Are you ok?” she softly asked. “Do you have any place to stay?”
The filly before her just softly shook her head, lowering it further as she clutching something in her forehooves. Derpy noticed that it was a doll. One that looked a lot like Colty, her younger daughter’s doll which had come up missing.
“What’s your friend’s name?” she asked, gesturing to the doll with her hoof.
The lonesome filly seemed to hesitate, not knowing whether to trust this stranger, then whispered, “Dusty.”
“That’s a good, strong name for him. My daughter had a friend who looked just like him. His name was Colty. She recently lost her friend, though, so I found her a new one.” Sitting down in front of her, Derpy continued, “My name is Derpy. What’s your name?”
“Scootaloo,” she replied, looking up at the kind mare.
She extended her hoof to Scootaloo. “Come on. It’s getting chilly out here, and you shouldn’t have to stay out in this rain. If you like, you can stay with me and my daughters. We’re at a motel a few streets down from here,” she told the filly.
Scootaloo felt something inside she thought she would never feel again. She felt hope, offered to her from somepony who actually seemed to care. Still, she was uncertain if she should accept the offer. She’s seen some scary ponies in this city, and for all she knew, this mare could be really bad underneath the friendly exterior.
Deciding to take a chance, she joined the mare, and they head to the motel together.
When the two of them walk through the door into the motel room, the mare is quickly tackled in a fierce hug from a happy little unicorn foal. “MOMMY! I MISSED YOU!” she exclaimed. Seeing that there is a new pony with her mom, Dinky dropped down from her stranglehold hug she had been giving her mother, and introduced herself cheerfully. “Hi, my name’s Dinky. What’s yours?”
“This is Scootaloo, and she’ll be staying with us tonight.” her mother told her. Turning towards her older daughter, who had just stepped into the room, she asked her to go get a couple of spare blankets from the wagon. “She’ll need them to warm up. She has been out in this rain all evening, the poor filly,” she informed Sparkler.
“Sparkler made dinner for us, and she made a LOT!” Dinky squeaked joyfully. “Are you gonna join us for dinner, Scootaloo?” she asked.
Looking uncertain, the pegasus did not know how she should respond, but Derpy answered for her.
“Of course she will. Won’t you join us, Scootaloo?”
Sparkler came back in, and quickly wrapped blankets around Scootaloo and Derpy. The blanket felt soft and warm, and she was thankful for the kindness being shown to her. Sitting down to warm up, she looked around at the family who has graciously invited her in. It saddened her in a way though, because it reminded her of what she lost, and desired to have again.
“Why are you sad, Scootaloo?” asked Dinky. Not waiting for an answer, the little foal gives Scootaloo a warm hug. With all this kindness shown to her, the dam inside breaks, and the filly breaks down in tears, finally letting loose the built up pain, but knowing finally that somepony actually cares.
In seconds, she is wrapped in a virtual wall of hugs as Derpy and Sparkler join in holding Scootaloo as she let her tears wash away months of pain and loneliness. She took strength in this, and told them the tale of her past few months. She told them about the fire that robbed her of her parents, her time in the orphanage, and of her living alone on the streets.
“Mom,” Dinky asked, “can Scootaloo come with us to Ponyville?”
Derpy had not known what she would have done for the young pegasus, but with this one question, the answer came to her in an instant. There was no way under Celestia’s Sun that she would let this foal continue to be alone in this world. “Scootaloo, would you like to come with us?” she asks.
Fresh tears streamed from her eyes once again, but now they were tears of joy and relief. “Yes, please,” she shakily answered, as she hugged the three of them tighter. For the first time since the fire, she felt safe and cared for. Maybe, she might even be able to feel happy.
The four ponies sat down to the table, and the conversation that evening was one for laughs and happiness. And when dinner was finally over, the time for sleep came upon them, She went to sleep warm and safe for the first time in a long time. She slept with a smile on her face.
~~
The past several months had been wonderful for the filly as she discovered a new life in Ponyville. She received love from the Whooves family, who took her in with open hooves and hearts, and they made her feel just like she was family. It was not always easy for her, with the pain that she still carried, but time works wonders when combined with warmth and care. She was even making friends in school. One friend, Sweetie Belle, had quickly become her best friend, and they hung out together all the time. It was a strange combination, the two of them, as opposite as the two of them seemed, but maybe that was part of the magic that brought them together.
It was approaching dinner time when Derpy came home one spring evening. Greeted warmly with hugs, she made her way to the table after shuffling off her mail delivery bags. “Girls, I have something I need to show you. Take a seat,please,” she said to them. When they did so, she pulled out an envelope. “This came in the mail today,” she told them. It was postmarked from Equestrian Foal Services. “Would you care to read it, Scootaloo?” she asked, as she gave it to the suddenly nervous filly.
She was afraid. Was Foal Services going to come in and pull her from the ones who took her in and treated her as one of their own? Was she going to be placed in some orphanage again? She thought of Dinky and Sparkler as sisters now, and Derpy she loved just like a mother. What if they came in and took her away? With shaking hooves, she took the envelope and pulled out the paper inside.
Dear Ms. Whooves:
It is with great pleasure that the adoption process has been finalized, and you are now the legal mother of the foal named Scootaloo.
Congratulations and best wishes to you and your new daughter.
Black Quill
Director, Equestrian Foal Services
Scootaloo literally leapt across the table, to hug her mother tightly. This was the one thing that she had been hoping for all these months. She finally had a family once again that loved her.
“There was no way I could give you up, Scootaloo. Sparkler and Dinky love you very much, as do I. So I went to the mayor, and she helped me get this all set up. You have a family again, and I am so happy for this day,” she said, looking her new daughter in her eyes. “Never again will you have to feel alone or unsafe. Never again will you have to hurt. You will always have us, your loving family.” Derpy hugged Scootaloo tighter in her embrace. “I love you so very much.”
The happy filly returned the hug with just as much vigor as she replied, “I love you too, Mom.”
fin
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i like it and can you add more chapters for this story it can be longer or make sequel for this story and i like it
This was just AAAAH MY FEELS
I LOVE IT SO MUCH
Was as expecting a different ending, but that wasn't bad at all.
>Mfw Biker_Dash has written something.
i.imgur.com/MVW81eY.jpg
Dude... you made me disperse tears.... not cool.... have a like and a fav
Congrads on making it on the popular stories... I, don't suppose you would take me on as a pre-reader. I wouldn't mind learning a thing or two from you to improve my stories.
Message me... I have one other Scoots fic in the works, and a few others. One of my fics I already have a pretty full crew with though.
D'awwwww! Best Scootaloo story ever!
So dis is alternate?
4229404 Could be thought of that way... but its not alt enough to need that tag I feel
i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png
4229468 I am honored. Thank you.
4229415
This directly conflicts with established canon that scootaloo is not homeless, and therefore it needs an alternate universe tag.
You can, of course, choose to not put an AU tag on here, but that doesn't change the fact that, yes, by the site's definition of "alternate universe", this is an alternate universe fic.
4229519 What proof shows that she does have a home?
4229514
No problem.
4229519
As long as she isn't homeless by the time of "Flight to the Finish", this could still be canon.
--arcum42
4229559
Episode 5 of Season 4, Flight to the Finish, shows Scootaloo's bedroom and the house she lives in. Whether or not she has parents and who those parents are is still up for debate, but she is certainly not homeless.
4229566
That's true. If the story is stated to take place before Flight to the Finish, then yes you can get away without an AU tag.
4229643
Did he stutter?
4229643 Oh yeah, I forgot about that! Thanks lol.
4229651
...well, no, that's why I was agreeing with him.
What I feel cannot be properly transcribed, so I will just say it was stupendous.
4229559 We see her bedroom in Flight to the Finish. However that doesn't mean that's not also Derpy's house so this is story could still work anyway. We still haven't seen any confirmed family for Scootaloo after all.
4229762 Yeah. I wonder why that is.
Wahhh, this story made me cry so much
. It's perhaps one of the sweetest ones I've ever seen here on FIMFiction. Wonderful job 
I tend not to go for the Orphanloo fics, and I reject the idea that she is a orphan in canon... but this, this fic is well done and does an excellent job at the idea of Scoots being an orphan... one that gets a new family. Thank you for writing this
4229566
As a fellow Admin, I concur with the inclusion of Hidden Happiness into Twilight's Library -CP
Derpy as Scootalo's mom is a match made in Faust heaven.
YOU LET HER TOMATOES?
Amazing story!
Very nicely done. This story is well worth the read.
I even marked it as a favorite so I can read it again as a 'pick me up' in case I have a bad day.
bit.ly/1ezmVNq
you have some tense issues, but it was still easily readable. short and sweet!
It's hard to describe in words how good that was... Thank you so very much for writing such an awesome story. I loved every moment of reading it.
Top of the Featured Box, Biker! Congrats!
I've added this to Read Later for when I get a chance. :)
4231610
Not bad. But it needs some work.
You have numerous tense issues (and other, less common errors), so if I were you, I'd make sure to pay more attention to verb tenses in the future.
Another thing was the pacing. At times, I felt like you could have expounded upon the story, given it more depth. A perfect example is the meeting Derpy scene. After years and years of mistrust, abuse, and living hard, she immediately trusts and befriends the Whooves? After a only few minutes of dialogue? They hardly said a dozen words to each other. That didn't seem quite right to me. You just rushed over that. She almost got raped, for crying out loud. I certainly wouldn't be as trusting after that.
I also felt like you could have done quite a bit more with Colty/Dusty. An example is the parents grave scene: why didn't you have her form a closer bond with the doll and then depend on the doll to get her through saying goodbye? Maybe have the doll "convince" her to move on? That was the only part of her situation that changed, so maybe, Colty/Dusty should have a part in that.
Another thing, why didn't Dinky say anything about Colty/Dusty when Scootaloo returned to the hotel with Derpy? I don't think Scoots would have left it, nor do I think that Dinky would completely ignore it. Maybe Dinky could have given her the doll?
Among other minor things here and there.
My overall opinion, meh. No votes from me.
4232307 It was meant to be a oneshot though...
I am glad that you enjoyed it.
Rushed errors here and there but overall I liked it, maybe not vote liked it though. I do wonder if Scootaloo's background is similar because we never see her at her own home nor do we know of any family of hers.
Maybe at one point Hasbro could point that out to us.
Oh and one error I wanted to point out is that you claim it was a cardboard box in the summary that she was sleeping in yet in the story we learn she's on a bench with a newspaper blanket.
Where's the truth line of that one?
So Dinky never found out about Colty?
OMG, So much feels!
It is pretty clear that (this)
(plus) + (this) 
(equals) = FEELS!
~Leonzilla
Play Rain by SID while reading to start crying
As others mentioned, there were a few issues with verb tense but nothing that could not be corrected easily. There were a few pacing issues - as someone else pointed out, I think the meeting between Derpy and Scoots might have been a little too abrupt. But overall I thought it was a good story. I made the mistake of reading this while at work and so I got to be a little teary-eyed.
congrats on the Feature, dude. is this your first?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I don't need to cry at work ;^^; This really pulled at my heartstrings. Nicely written piece of work!
4233030 I've been featured a few times before
So... many... emotions!
4233152 4
What? Really?
I didn't Cry. I'm too Cool to Cry.
Too many feels
that was sweet...
Policeman:STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM! YOU VIOLATED THE LAW! PAY THE COURT A FINE OR SERVE YOUR SENTENCE! YOUR STOLEN GOOD ARE NOW FORFIT!
Scootaloo: But I am starving!
Policeman: THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD!
(Scootaloo crouches)
Policeman: DAMN IT! HE EXCAPED!
4233451 Really? I didn't cry. But I thought is was because I was a heartless monster. I guess being too cool is one explanation.
4233791
*awkward cough*