• Member Since 16th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen February 23rd

BlueYellowNoble


A Swedish guy that likes pones.

T
Source

In ancient times it was said a race of warriors, hailing from an alien world once walked the ground of old Equestria.
They were called the Silver People, a race of bipeds with glimmering armor and swords that came and assisted the alicorns during a time of great peril.

But even after grand victories and countless deeds, their kingdom lasted only for two-hundred years when according to myth, they had turned to the dark path they once swore to fight.

Millennia later, Twilight Sparkle's curiosity gets the better of her, and she is fully determined to learn what drove Mankind over the edge, and their fall.

------*****------
A/N:
Daaarn this got featured!
That's amazing, thank you ALL!

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 240 )

oh, now THIS story has such GREAT possibilities:raritystarry:! when are you going to update:fluttercry:

A few minor mistakes (Seriously, I'm nitpicking here), but an excellent chapter overall. I will watch this fic and hope it goes places.

I wonder if the humans will restart their civilization with the help of the ponies. Hopefully for the better this time. This is a good story I can't wait for more.

Reading the comments and disc, I'm kinda hyped to read this first chapter! I will say what I think of it after I read.

This story is great! The only really glaring mistakes I saw were this sentence "So I have decided to spend a little more time with my most faithful student more as a good friend, and not as a teacher or mentor." and a misspelling of Celestia ".... forbade me to look into it further.' Celstia shrugged."
As for the first sentence, I just thought it was worded awkwardly, kinda stumbled over it when I read it. I would remove the more after "faithful student" and the "and" after the comma.

... and then it turns out the humans had found an amazing power source thingamajig and it made them all go crazy, so that's why they hid as anmials, and they buried their city to hide it forever. Yeah, I have future vision... GET OVER IT!

just wanted to point out. s9.postimg.org/i25dptwn3/Featured.png You're FEATURED! :pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by Industrial deleted Apr 16th, 2013

A fantastic beginning to what I believe will be a fascinating story. Besides the occasional grammatical issue (which did nothing to detract from the overall story), I do believe you have something special on your hands. I'm looking forward to future chapters!

Holy crap, a story with potential! Brotip: Don't fuck it up! :pinkiehappy:

As long as it never really goes Twilestia, you have another favorite.

This story does sound promising, and I like the idea even though it may have been used a few times, you keep it fresh with the extra little details concerning humanity, for instance; The whole shape shifting thing.

I think I know why the Raven and Wolf protect the tree in the glen... ;D

>ten comments
>30 upvotes
>less than 200 views
How the fuck is this featured.

EDIT: Note. This was not long after the story was first put in the feature box.

Like? Not yet.
Does have potental... read later.


Your turn
blog.logmycalls.com/Portals/155740/images/impress%20me.jpg

2433388

Maybe because it got all of this in less than twelve hours of being posted?

(Side note)
I just noticed that where it says 'Date Published' it says April 16.... I'm reading this on April 15, at 9:48pm
Lol

Marked to read later.
Not many fantasy fics out there; I'm curious to see where this is going to go from here. :trixieshiftright:

2433430
My story got more and faster. The featured system is just... fucked.

Tirion.

Argent Dawn

Becoming what one hates.


WoW senses... tingling.

Ah, this is nice.
Couldn't hep but think of some Warcraft stuff, however.
Potential. Do not. Kill it.

2433471 I KNEW that name (Argent Dawn) sounded familier! Been bugging me but not to the point of looking it up. How is WoW now? I haven't played since..... WoTLK came out.

2433517 I stopped playing a little bit before they released MoP, so your guess is as good as mine.

I'm still kind of bummed that I left, but after seven years... almost no games are fun after being played consistently for seven years.

came for the cover pic
left with a read later

2433451

Perhaps... Though this story does show some potential so maybe they're hoping people will fav this story then follow it for the long run of it's production serving as how it's so young.

Also about you're story getting more in the same time... well I like to look at the feature system as a way to help newer stories that look good come to light faster, if you're story is as good as you say (which I must say intrigues me) perhaps they didn't think you're story needed any help?

Or maybe everything's just super fucked up, I really don't care which.

Edit
Plus the cover art is bad ass, That may have helped it get featured.

2433665
You know what, you've got me thinking. Perhaps the feature system is mod-run and not automated.

Because my friend has a story a bit more popular than mine (well, understatement. His has 115 favorites and 85 upvotes. Mine has 98 and 70) but it's also a funny coincidence that half the mods hate his guts.

2433693

That's what I always thought. I mean if it wasn't then it would be picking stories at random... no... it just feels too 'human' for that. Know what I mean?

2433754 I guess that would explain why half of the featured box is perpetually filled with clop...

2433762
HAH! that's awesome! Didn't even think of that... :P
(I have no idea how to make pony faces on a smart phone)

Seems like a interesting story, I will read this later when it has more chapters.

If you will update it, I will read it:moustache:.

2432372
Oh not to worry, I have started to work on the next part, I've pretty much done a rough finished version in a notebook. But with some schoolwork to be done, maybe a week or by the end of the month, depends on how fast I get shcool done :ajsmug:

But glad you like it!

2432483 I have no problem with nitpicks :ajsmug:
glad ya like

2432632 Will do boss!
Fixing that when I get the time.
darn ms Word suggested that sentence :/

2433451 I'm not complaining, this came quite as a shock to me, being my second fic :raritystarry:

2433532 Hope you'll stay for it!

2433471 My years of WoW MAY have left a little impact on my fantasy sense :ajsmug:

After finally reading through the whole thing, I like the idea, I like the pacing, and you did a pretty good job setting up unfamiliar locations like the Ashwood Forest.

But please get someone to look over your grammar. There are a fair number of mistakes throughout the chapter that could have been easily fixed if you had someone do a once-over of the text before you posted. There are also several bits of inconsistent tone, mostly during dialogue, that can be distracting. Your wording in general can be a bit stiff now and again as well, but I'm being nitpicky about that.

Over all, while none of the errors are so bad that they make want to stop reading I do think you could greatly benefit from an editor or two to clear up grammar mistakes and maybe smooth out the wording in some sections. It won't make or break your dedicated readers, but I am a firm believer in the idea that proper grammar and eloquent wording can turn a good fic into a great one.

The introduction of Twilestia was a bit sudden as well. I'm mostly just surprised since romance isn't tagged in the description, so it took me a bit off guard.

Also, I promise not to post random comments about random stuff anymore. I imagine having to sift through irrelevant comments must be irritating if each one is noted in your social tab. :twilightsheepish:

I always love these stories, where someone tries to place humanity among ponies, but it has to be done right or it ends up a stinky pile of swiss cheese :pinkiesick:. I like your concept though, if you do it right it could be very very good. :raritywink:

You have my attention. :pinkiecrazy:

2434040 I do absolutely appreciate your opinion, and true, there might be a few errors, mainly because english isn't my main language or just simple stuff I might miss when finishing and clearing it up.
But I am looking for a proof-reader as of now, so hopefully someone will have a gander for upcoming chapter.

oh and the Twilestia thing?
Nothing too serious planned there, just the ordinary "hot teacher" syndrome.

hmm..gonna watch this

really good, one of the best I've read so far, actually started to see an image movie thing [that means its really good (this is the second story i have ever read that i could literally see it in my mind instead of "reading" it)] keep it up, because I'm following.

2434128
I agree, it is very well written
Please keep writing

2434139 first one wasn't a fimfiction, plus i read a lot.

2434154
Same here lol.
Ive gone through probably about 200 good sized stories (at least 80-100+k words each) on here and have been a member for only 3 months.:pinkiehappy:
Dont ask………:twilightblush:

2434183 lol ive only been on here for three, four days now and am following like at least 20 stories while doing school and work XD :pinkiehappy:

2434215
Kool lol.
I have several especially good ones that if you are looking for more i could give you:twilightsmile:
Anyway……happy hunting! Im off for the night

2434229
After my MLP game finishes updating that is………

"Those that seek to escape from punishment must be change and forgotten.
Those that seek to desire the things forbidden must be form and blacken."

It had the air of mystery into it and later a horror show about the demise of the Silver People.

'Winded' (win-did) is incorrectly used. That word means 'to be slightly fatigued as with a moderate jog.' The word you want is 'wound' (wow-nd, not woo-nd).

'She was wound too tight after being winded running from the giant cheese wheel.'

English, it's a funny old language.

EDIT: Forgot to add - it's nice. A bit, uh, fast thus far but I can't blame you for wanting to get to the meat of the thing. I'm interested to see how this all goes down but please, I beseech thee. Do not allow this to fall into the 'humans are so evil oh-em-gee' silliness that most stories like this do.

I can see where you're coming from, with all of the potential Worgen stuff and the Argent Dawn people.

It's fun stuff to mix with pony lore, though. I haven't really encountered anything that goes back as far as Warcraft lore; nor anything as mysterious or captivating.

2434338 I just wanted to clear up, this will not have anything Warcraft-related or whatsoever.
Names are familiar to many buuut that's just wow gave me tons of inspiration because of the mass of fantasy-esk names and places.
Lore is fantastic from there, won't deny it helped build alot of the foundation of the story, but no, no worgens, orcs or blue spacegoats.

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