• Member Since 27th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen Last Wednesday


Nerd, Dungeon Master, Aspiring Author, Brony.


There's a new stallion in town. A new stallion who won't stop staring at Applejack's rear.

She has some opinions about that.

Sex jokes abound, but no actual sex.

Now with a Spanish translation: https://www.deviantart.com/spaniard-kiwi/art/El-culo-de-Applejack-923171828

Chapters (33)
Comments ( 1308 )


Huh. This was...interesting.

I like it.

Keep up the good work my good man :twilightsmile:


I'm glad you liked it, and yeah, "Interesting" is a good way to describe pretty much everything in this particular bit of insanity.

I rather like the concept of this story. Sketchy is unaware, but he comes off as charming, and I think he's going to pair well with Applejack. I can't wait to see the rest of this.

I'm not sure how to feel. Although, I will admit it wasn't like anything I've ever read before.


I suppose that's a good thing. Regardless, thanks for taking the time to check it out.


Thanks! Expect updates daily.

Thank you for giving me something to do.


The proper term is "Badonkadonk".


Lol, I'll keep that in mind.


Honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm make you want to swing along
Got it goin' on like Donkey Kong
And ooh well shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There ought to be a law, get the sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy how'd she even get them britches on
With that honky tonk badonkadonk


Gotta love this brand of insanity.

This song holds a lot of sentimental value to me, as hearing it as a child was the first time my virgin ears ever came to experience the wonders of the badonadonk.

It's also the first and only time I've ever slapped my grandma.

On another note, I've only just now actually read the story, and it's... Surprisingly tame and rational. Actually interested to see where this goes.


Sometimes my insanity gets so bad it loops back around and becomes sanity.

Very interesting idea, though I think it's out-of-character for Applejack to want to beat somepony up over bad manners.
I'm also not sure how exactly a pony would determine somepony is staring at their butt, given butts on ponies are level with most of the body, and only barely below the head; the angle of difference would just be so small as to be hard to measure, let alone notice.


Admittedly, I've taken some liberties with how Applejack would deal with unwanted advances. As for how a pony could tell if someone's staring at their butt, the difference in side profile between butt and head is fairly large, at least a few feet, and the vertical difference between butt and head is roughly comparable to the difference between staring at a woman's chest and her head. You wouldn't even need to rotate your head to switch between them, but people would still be able to tell which you're looking at. Finally, if a pony is staring at the body of another pony, from behind, then pretty much by definition they'd be staring at the other pony's butt. I hope that helps clear up any confusion.

But normally, with staring at a chest, it's noticed from very close up. I guess the main issue is the distance involved. I imagined that there's at least a few tables between Applejack and Sketchy, given how he's overhearing conversations and remarks she isn't.

I don't know but Sketchy being so innocent is a little bit cute.

And giving bits for help and other stuff...the good old griffon behaviour :ajsmug:

Gonna have a closer look to this story :twilightsmile:


I'm a guy, so I can't claim any firsthand experience, but several women I know say they've caught a guy staring at their chest from across a room. Actually, that's where I got the idea for this story" "What if a girl caught a guy staring and confronted him, but he had no idea he'd been doing something wrong?"

This is actually a interesting read! Good job, will follow!:moustache:


And a loving tribute to my inner 13-year-old.


Thanks, and I hope you enjoy it.

These puns are going to be the death of me


Lol, thanks again for all your help on this story. I couldn't have done it without you.


Heaven help us if he ever saw Celestia. One Butt to Rule Them All! :trollestia:

“Dude, he’s tattling on us!” a voice in the other booth said.

“Violation of the bro code!”

Nahh he did a good job.

This is quite nice and I can see why he would think he would need to pay her and stuff with how the griffons where in the show the first time.
Somehow when he said he wanted to draw her to sell her pictures or something I expected her to smack him, but maybe you didn't really thought about that.

Dash deflated a little. “Oh, well then, I’ll have to get you some tickets to our next show, so you can see what you’ve been missing.”

Aaahhhh yes Dash needs another one for her fanclub
It was probably not really thought-out from Rainbow to put her friend uuhhhmmm in the middle of the attention or how you say it. (awww I wish this was in german sometimes).

Well this is a better story than I thought so far, I just thought Applejack wouldn't really like to know that in this story, at least thatis the image I got from her.

Applejack looked down at the box in her hooves, and immediately facehoofed. Condoms, ribbed and extra large.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Clearly, Applejack is having one of those days.

Damn it Caramel, you know Applejack don't lie :ajbemused:


Caramel ain't too bright.

Poor Rainbow Dash. If it helps, Dashie, you've got a lot of the fanbase behind you. Granted, you're probably going to have to take my word for it because of the fourth wall, but... if that's the case, you probably can't read this comment. Plus, you're fictional so you can't do that whole reading thing to begin with. Never mind, then.

But yeah, seriously, poor Rainbow Dash. XD


Yeah, I felt bad making her the Butt of that joke, it was sort of Assinine of me, but we can all be Flankful she can't read the comments, otherwise she'd kick my Rump for using so many butt puns at once.

(Someone help me, I can't stop!!!)

That's OK. I've learned to turn the other cheek on this sort of thing. Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, might just make an ass of herself. Depending on the fandom's mood, this might cause a deep rift between people who've got their panties in a bunch and people who know you're just messin' with her.

...wait a minute...

:ajbemused: What happened to Sketchy?
:rainbowhuh: Don't know sport here asked for a commission and put down a load of bits
:pinkiegasp: I saw him scream and run out of Sugar Cube Corner like he was shot out of one of my party cannons!
:moustache: I didn't know he was afraid of dragons.....
:moustache: What?

Ummmmmmm, the "bro code" only applies to your BROS, not some random dudes in the booth next to your's.

Just saying

Your puns are a real pain in the butt, man.

Nor do I have any regrets reading this! :ajsmug:

All I can imagine is Sketchy talking like Sheldon Cooper. :rainbowlaugh: Rarity's in for a world of weird.

“I went to that friend you mentioned, I think her name was Rarity? Regardless, I asked if I could look at her butt in return for a lot of money.

*LAW AND ORDER*dun dun


Sheldon was definitely an influence on Sketchy's character for me.

wtf is this shit? im loving it, have a like and fav


Thanks, and I hope you enjoy the continuing insanity!

and their owners found something interesting to look at elsewhere.

Yeah, Applejack's butt.

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