• Published 14th Jul 2018
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Applejack's Butt - Vedues



The new stallion in town is strangely obsessed with rear ends. Especially Applejack's.

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Chapter 2: The Butt of the Joke

Applejack had dealt with wandering eyes before. Usually the ponies they were attached to looked away and blushed when she glared at them. The rest of the time, those wandering eyes ended up black and blue.

This was looking to be one of those times.

The stallion didn’t seem worried, or ashamed, or even happy that she was approaching him. He just sat there, face blank and eyes narrowed, like he was deciding which apples to use for a pie. Applejack got a glimpse of his cutie mark as she drew closer, a sketch of a griffon, not that any mark would justify staring at her rump. She stopped in front of him and cleared her throat.

“Yes?” the stallion asked, expression never changing. His eyes didn’t meet hers. Instead, they seemed to be tracing her form, never resting on one place for long.

“Just what the hay do you think you’re doing?”

“Studying you.” His tone was distant, like he was sleepwalking or something.

“Studying me?” Applejack paused. “Is this some kinda sociological study that Twi set up?”

“No.”

“Then what are you studying me for?”

“Art.”

Applejack sighed. It was like trying to have a conversation with Big Mac when he wasn’t in the mood to talk. “Care to elaborate on that?”

“No.”

She grit her teeth. “Let me put that a different way.” She leaned over the table threatening-like. “Elaborate, or you’ll be wearing an eye patch for the rest of the week.”

That snapped him out his weird trance-like state. He shook his head and blinked a few times. “I don’t understand.” He returned his gaze to her, but they didn’t meet her eyes this time either.

“What’s not to understand? Keep your eyes off my rear.”

He frowned. “Why?”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Applejack muttered. “You’re telling me you don’t see why it’s rude to stare at a mare’s rump?”

“Not really.” He sat back and reached into the saddlebags at his side. “Why is it rude? I can pay you to explain it. Does three bits sound acceptable?” He held out the bits to her.

Applejack stared at the bits, then at him, then back to the bits, then back to him. “You ain’t from around here, are you?”

“So you want to exchange answers instead of bits?” He put the coins away. “Okay, I was raised in Griffonstone and only came to Equestria last month. Now why is looking at a mare’s butt rude?”

Raised by griffons. Applejack thought about that for a second. So he hadn’t meant to be rude, he just didn’t understand how they did things here in Equestria. Okay, she’d spare him the business end of her hoof. Now to set him straight. “Staring at a mare is just bad manners, and staring at her rump is even worse.”

The stallion frowned and pointed at another booth. “But those two have been staring at each other since I got here.”

Applejack followed his hoof and found Lyra and Bonbon looking into each other’s eyes. “That’s different. Them two are dating.”

His frown only got deeper. “So it would be acceptable if one stared at the other’s butt?”

“Uh, maybe?” Applejack put a hoof to her chin. “I guess it just depends.”

“On what?”

She sighed “Look, Pinkie said your name was Frameless something-or-other?”

“Frameless Sketcher,” the stallion said, then quietly added, “Most griffons called me Sketchy.”

“Fine then, Sketchy, I get that griffons and ponies are different, but for now, just stop staring at mares, especially their keisters.”

Sketchy sighed and looked down. “I wish I could be back home.”

That calmed Applejack down. She knew what it was like to be away from home, stuck in a place full of customs she didn’t understand. “It’s okay,” she said gently. “You can come ask me if you have any other questions. I’ll do what I can to help you adjust.”

He smiled weakly. “Thank you. Is it alright if I focus on the stallions instead.”

“What?” Applejack asked, then her eyes widened. “Oh, I didn’t realize you swung that way.”

He gave her another confused look. “Swung?”

She could feel her cheeks flushing, and for a change, she was glad that he wasn’t looking into her eyes. “I didn’t know you were attracted to stallions, okay?”

Sketchy looked even more confused. “I’m not attracted to stallions.”

Applejack stared at him. “Then why in the hay do you wanna stare at their rears?” Couldn’t anything be simple with this stallion?

“I’m a professional sketch artist,” Sketchy said. “I draw pictures of models and sell them for my income. Having both male and female models doubles my potential customers.”

At least that was one more piece to the puzzle. Too bad there were dozens of other pieces still in hiding. “How did that lead to you staring at my butt?”

He looked her right in the face and calmly said, “I think you’re the most beautiful mare here. At least, most of the stallions were giving you appreciative looks, especially toward your butt. I wanted to commit your form to memory.”

Applejack couldn’t help but blush a little. “Um, thank you?” She shook her head. “Wait, other stallions were staring at me too?”

Sketchy nodded. “That stallion sitting by himself, that one with the mare I assume is his significant other, and the group of stallions in the booth next to ours.” He frowned again. “That last group also said some things I didn’t understand. ‘I’d like to hit that,’ ‘I wish I could plow her fields,’ and several other such phrases.”

“Dude, he’s tattling on us!” a voice in the other booth said.

“Violation of the bro code!”

“Run!”

Three stallions stumbled out of their booth and rushed to the exit.

“Serves y’all right,” Applejack shouted after them, “saying stuff like that in public!” She shook her head and turned back to Sketchy. “Now then, I don’t know how griffons do it, but around here, if a pony catches you staring at their butt, expect to get smacked upside the head.”

Sketchy nodded. “Unless it’s with a pony I’m dating, correct?”

“Right.” Applejack smiled. Maybe she’d finally gotten through to him.

“In that case,” Sketchy said, “join me for a date tonight?”

She gave him a deadpan look. “You’re only asking me out so you can keep staring at my rump, aren’t you?”

“Not just your rump, all of you, preferably from different angles and in different positions.” And somehow, he said it without the slightest hint of innuendo.

Applejack facehoofed. “Look, I don’t rightly know how attractive or not I am to the stallions around here. Never paid much attention to my looks past combing out the snarls in my tail. If you want some sort of a model and a bunch of advice on what looks good, go talk to my friend Rarity. She lives and works at Carousel Boutique, just over that-a-way.” She gestured with her hoof. “The stallions all seem to lose their minds over her, so she must be a couple different flavors of beautiful.”

Sketchy pursed his lips thoughtfully before nodding. “Thank you for your advice.” He reached into his saddlebags and passed her a small pile of bits. “That should cover the cost of your help.”

“Let me stop you right there.” Applejack pushed the bits back. “I’m helping because I wanna be nice, not for bits. That’s how we do things in Ponyville.” She walked away before he could object. “Anyways, I’m off. You take care of yourself, Sketchy.”

He was back to giving her that confused look. “I, um, very well.” He returned the bits to his bag. “Take care of yourself as well, miss …?”

“Applejack.” She tipped her hat to him. “And I’ll see you around.”