//------------------------------// // Chapter 17: Asinine Inquiries // Story: Applejack's Butt // by Vedues //------------------------------// It turned out that Twilight was free. Sort of. According to Dash, she’d been studying ‘advanced something-or-other,’ but was willing to put that aside to help. Sketchy gave the Palace of Friendship a confused frown as they approached. “Is this where that princess who arrested me lives?” Applejack cleared her throat. “Yes, but that was sorta a big misunderstanding. We talked it out, and now Twi realizes that you didn’t mean anything bad when you asked to stare at her rear.” “So she wouldn’t mind if I do?” Sketchy asked. “I imagine ponies would pay extra for pictures of a princess.” Dash laughed. “You can ask her, but don’t be surprised if all she does is blush and stutter. Twilight has, like, zero experience with stallions.” “Right,” Applejack said, “and you’re some kinda expert.” “Hey, I’ve had plenty of coltfriends.” “I still don’t know what that word means,” Sketchy said. “Don’t you worry about it,” Applejack said. She turned to Dash. “And if you’ve really had so many, name three.” “Well, there was, ugh, you know …” Dash waved a hoof vaguely. “Not Zephyr.” “Nor anypony else, I take it,” Applejack said. “Fine, fine, jeez.” Dash looked away. “I’ll bet I could get Soarin’ to date me, though.” “Really?” Applejack asked. “I always thought he and Spitfire were an item.” “Nah, they’re more like brother and sister.” “Should I know either of those ponies?” Sketchy asked. Dash groaned. “It’s a good thing I snagged you tickets for next Saturday’s show. I don’t think I could take much more of a stallion who doesn’t know who the best fliers in Equestria are.” She turned to Applejack. “By the way, I’m taking Sketchy to the Wonderbolts show next Saturday. He doesn’t have any appointments scheduled for then, does he?” Applejack checked her notebook. “He’s free. Just, uh, make sure the rest of the team knows what to expect from him.” “Meaning what?” Sketchy asked. “Meaning you’ll probably ask to draw them all in sexy poses,” Applejack said. “Probably,” Sketchy said. “Why?” “Never mind.” They reached the doors of the castle, and Applejack opened them to see Twilight on the other side. “Heya, Twi. How’s it going?” “Nothing worth complaining about,” Twilight said. She turned to Sketchy and a faint blush lit up her cheeks. “Hello, I know an apology doesn’t make up for throwing you in jail, but I am really sorry about how our first meeting went.” “Thank you.” Sketchy turned to Applejack. “That’s what ponies are supposed to do when somepony apologizes to them, right?” “Usually,” Applejack said. Twilight smiled a bit, but with hints of nervousness. “So there are no hard feelings?” “There are some hard feelings,” Sketchy said calmly, “but at least you didn’t attack me like Miss Rarity.” Twilight winced. “I heard about that, and, well, I understand if you’re still upset at me. If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, just let me know.” Applejack grinned, same with Dash. They both knew what was coming. “You could let me draw you in a few seductive poses,” Sketchy said. He was probably the only pony in Equestria who could say that without the slightest hint of dirty thoughts. Twilight went beet red. “Y-you, I mean, I knew that you did- but I didn’t, I mean, I thought that …” Dash laughed. “Called it.” Applejack also had to admit that she was enjoying herself. “It’s simple enough, Twi, are you gonna let him draw you, or aren’t ya?” Twilight looked down, still blushing like mad, and ever so slowly nodded. “Then all is forgiven,” Sketchy said. “The income from pictures of a princess should more than even the scales between us.” “I’m … glad?” Twilight stepped back and motioned for them to come in. Dash flew into the entry hall. “Awesome, let’s get to work. There should be enough room in here, so I was thinking you could draw me swooping down with my hoof out, like I’m about to clobber some monster.” She flew up and then dove, nearly hitting them. “Kind of like that. What do you think?” “Griffon leaders liked that pose,” Sketchy said. “I’ve seen it in numerous texts about historical battles.” “Cool,” Dash said. “So, Twilight, can you hold me in place while he makes with the drawing?” Twilight nodded and lit up her horn, holding Dash in the air just over their heads. “Is that okay?” Sketchy walked around Dash, studying her from all different angles. Eventually he stopped so that Dash was directly between him and the nearest window. “Could you please rotate her to face me?” She did. “Perfect, hold her there. Dash, please assume the pose you wanted.” He got out his supplies, settled down on the castle floor, and started drawing. As he worked, Twilight moved around so that she was at his side. “So, Sketchy, I’d like to get to know you better, if you don’t mind.” Applejack felt a twinge of guilt. So Twilight was going to evaluate Sketchy now? She knew Twi only had the best of intentions, but it still felt wrong to test Sketchy for mental problems, like even going through with the test was calling him stupid. “What did you want to know?” Sketchy asked without looking away from Dash. “More about you generally.” Twilight put on a friendly smile. “For example, do you know anything about your parents?” “No,” Sketchy said. “How about your foalhood?” Twilight asked. “Do you know much about it?” “No.” “Are you hungry?” Twilight asked. “I can send Spike out to grab you something while you work.” “No thanks.” “Okay,” Twilight said. “”Um, what are your favorite foods?” “Anything.” Twilight’s smile cracked just a little. “Oh, well, I love smoothies. I’d drink them for every meal if I could. Do you have any food like that, that you’d eat all the time?” “Yes.” “Really?” Twilight asked, eyes lighting up. “What?” “Whatever was least expensive in Griffonstone.” And the light went back out. The conversation kept going the whole time Sketchy was drawing, meandering from one topic to the next with no rhyme or reason that Applejack could see. Did it really matter if Sketchy had trouble with coordination? (He didn’t.) And why did Twilight ask whether he preferred to draw his models looking happy, or nervous, or whatever? (No preference.) At least Sketchy didn’t seem bothered by all the questions. He just sat there like he always did, adding detail after detail to the picture until he put down his supplies with a simple, “Finished. You can let her down now.” “Finally,” Dash said, squirming in Twilight’s magical grip. “Holding still that long sucked.” Twilight lowered her to the floor, and they all gathered around to see the picture. “Nice,” Dash said. “I bet my fans will love this.” She carefully picked up the parchment and rolled it up. “I’m going to run this over to Photo Copy’s and get some duplicates made.” “What about the other pictures?” Sketchy asked. “You said you wanted multiple.” Dash shuddered. “Maybe we can do them tomorrow. I couldn’t take holding still another minute right now.” As if to prove her point, she took off, literally flying out the door. “Let me know when my next appointment will be!” Applejack rolled her eyes. “It’d be a lot easier to schedule an appointment if she’d stuck around long enough for me to ask when she’s available.” Twilight draped a wing over Applejack’s back. “You know how Dash is. I’m surprised she held still as long as she did.” “Guess I can’t argue with that.” Applejack turned to Sketchy. “Okay, you’ve gotta get to the spa for your appointment with the owners.” Sketchy nodded and started collecting his things. “Will you be coming to that as well?” “Can’t,” Applejack said. “Rarity should be there in case you have any questions, but I’ve got a bunch of chores to get caught up on back at the farm. Meet me at Sugarcube Corner tomorrow fifteen minutes before Cloud Kicker’s appointment.” He nodded. “I’ll see you then.” Applejack waited until he left before turning to Twilight. “Alright, Twi,” she took a deep breath, “what did you learn?” Twilight hugged her with her wing. “Just remember that this sort of thing is normally diagnosed by an entire team of experts. I might be competent in all the different fields, but I’m not an expert in any of them, and I’m just one pony besides.” So bad news, then, or Twilight wouldn’t be stalling. Applejack took another deep breath. “Give it to me straight. You know I prefer things that way.” Another wing hug. “I’m pretty sure he’s on the spectrum,” Twilight said slowly. “It’s a minor case, he’s definitely high functioning, but he has a lot of the signs I’d expect to see.” Applejack didn’t know why, but it felt like somepony had hung a weight around her neck. “What kind of signs?” “Large vocabulary but some difficulty maintaining a conversation,” Twilight said. “A lack of interest in sharing experiences with others. Difficulty reading nonverbal cues, such as body language or voice tone. I didn’t notice any phrase repetition, but it wouldn’t surprise me if there were a few sentences that come out of his mouth without him even thinking about it.” She made a face. “Then there’s his fixation on studying and drawing flanks.” “Pretty sure that’s because it’s part of his special talent,” Applejack said, looking down at her hooves. “It could be,” Twilight said. “There’s also the fact that he almost never makes eye contact.” Applejack thought back to first few times she’d talked with Sketchy, and how his eyes seemed to look everywhere except into her own. “I guess he does do that, doesn’t he?” Twilight hugged her with her hooves. “I know this is hard, but I’m always here if you need me, or if you just want to talk.” Applejack wasn’t sure if she wanted to talk, but there was sure something boiling up in her throat, and it felt like it’d tear her jaw off if she didn’t open her mouth and let it out. “I just don’t like how ponies need to stick a label on everything sometimes.” She’d expected the words to explode out of her, but they were almost a whisper. “Once a pony’s autistic, or special needs, or on the spectrum, or whatever, it’s like they stop being ponies and become the labels instead. No pony that knows about Sketchy’s condition is gonna see him as anything other than ‘that one pony with the broken brain,’ and never mind the stallion behind the label.” “Do you think of him that way now?” Twilight asked. “Of course not,” Applejack said sharply. A little too sharply, if the way Twilight flinched back was any indication. “Sorry.” She sighed. “But I’ve spent time with Sketchy, gotten to know him. Lots of other ponies won’t do that.” “Well it isn’t like we’ll hang a glowing sign over his head, telling ponies about his condition,” Twilight said. “And we still aren’t entirely sure that he even has a condition. I make mistakes just like anypony else.” Applejack shook her head. “Nah, I trust you, Twi. If you say he’s got a condition, then,” she sighed, “then I think he does too.” Twilight smiled faintly and moved a bit closer to Applejack. “Nothing about Sketchy has changed. He’s still the exact same stallion he was before I talked to him, but now we might understand a little better why he does the things he does.” It was true, mostly. Applejack knew Sketchy was the same, but she also wondered if she’d be able to look at him the same way after this. Maybe that made her a bad pony. She kind of felt like it did. She shook her head. “Is understanding him gonna help at all?” Twilight looked as if she’d just asked if the sky was blue. “Of course understanding will help! Most ponies on the spectrum can’t read voice tone or body language very well. Think about the difference between what I’m saying when I do this,” she widened her stance, spread her wings, sneered angrily, and growled, “Come. Over. Here.” She went back to normal. “And what I’m saying when I do this,” she smiled sweetly, opened her forelegs like she wanted a hug, and gently said, “Come over here.” Again she went back to normal. “The difference seems obvious to you and me, but they would be identical to some ponies with Sketchy’s condition. You could frown or grumble at him all day, and he wouldn’t realize you’re upset unless you said something.” Applejack sat down and thought about it. “I suppose that is good to know. I’m guessing he won’t understand sarcasm too well either.” “Probably not, but every pony on the spectrum is different. We’ll just have to talk with him more to understand his unique challenges.” Twilight smiled and put a hoof on Applejack’s shoulder. “Besides, I did promise to model for him a few times. That will give us time to get to know each other and become friends.” She blushed a little. “Just promise he won’t ask me to pose in any way that’s too … you know.” “I know,” Applejack said, smiling. She pulled Twilight into a hug. “Thanks, Twi.” “No problem.” Applejack regretfully pulled away. “Sorry to cut things short, but I’ve gotta get moving on those chores.” “I understand.” Twilight looked down and fidgeted. “Um, could you promise me one other thing?” “Sure, what is it?” She looked up, blushing a bit more. “Could you promise that you won’t sell any of the pictures of me to Spike? It was awkward enough giving him The Talk. I don’t want to imagine explaining why I posed as an erotic model.” Applejack laughed. “Believe me when I say that he’d be a lot more shaken up seeing you like that than you’d be explaining it to him.” Twilight blushed harder. “A-anyway, have you given Apple Bloom The Talk yet?” Now it was Applejack’s turn to blush. “I’m getting to it.” Then she left before Twilight could bring up any other awkward subjects.